How to Have a Safe and Happy Independence Day

Here you see the children lined up. Begging to begin the big show. Or at least a sparkler or two. Never mind that it's not dark. They are ready for some action!

See that travel trailer right there in that there background? That would be my sister Paula's. We lived in it for several months during our transition back to Oklahoma. I say you haven't lived until you've gone through tornado season in a travel trailer!

Also, please be advised that underneath that trailer was the "storage" for the fireworks during the big show. This tended to get a bit scary when a misfire resulted in hot embers landing in the box of fireworks. Under the trailer. Right where the propane tanks are...

We are nothing if not safety first in this family!

Here is the line of spectators, gearing up for the main event. Guess what? When a firework misfires and explodes from the bottom up, directly INTO the crowd, it's pretty hard to scramble out of your chair and to safety when you're all lined up nice and tight like that!

There were lectures on firework safety from the resident safety expert/master rule follower.

A wild game of whiffle (wiffle? whiffle? waffle? whittle? waddle? I have no idea how to spell this word) ball was played. The rules were simple. There are no teams. The goal is to get out whoever is at bat/on base. You are allowed to throw the ball AT the runner to tag them out. If the fielders are being too slow to get said ball and tag out the runner, the pitcher may grab any one of the balls next to him on the "mound" and tag out the runners...

Pretty much, it's every player against the current runner. As you can imagine, it was rather difficult to get a run.

Popcorn made the sacrifice of putting on old clothes to play in the sprinkler with her little cousin. What a giver. Yep. I'm just raisin' these kids to be selfless that way...

Grandma Irene, reining queen of our clan was there to monitor the festivities and make sure we played nice. I'm not sure she was entirely successful.

Laughing bloggers took pictures of laughing bloggers.

Rednecks. 'Nuff said.

Oh, and just so you know, this is Brad, you might remember him from the Journey of the Sun Dolphin. And that is Paula, the sister who doesn't blog...

And yes, he is wearing a headlamp. The better to light the Redneck 9 Shot firework that exploded from the bottom, and shot into our crowd of spectators...

Yes, we had an EXPLOSIVELY good time this Independence Day. Not too sure about the safe part. But it was definitely happy! And exciting!

And dangerous...

And hair raising....

So. How was YOUR fourth?

Peach Pie Ponderings.

We had a big ole throw down Fourth out at my parents...

The kind where my mom was blessed to have children who invited their in-laws to her house to blow hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks up in smoke...

Mom was afraid we would run out of food. Let's just say there was no danger of THAT happening.

Did you know I have a peach tree? It's tiny. However, we had a bumper crop for such a tiny tree. The branches were dragging the ground. I picked peaches and headed to my folks Friday evening...

Since Mom was afraid she would run out of food, and due to the fact that my dad threatened to throw out her apricots if she didn't start doing something with them, (apparently he was overlooking the jars of jelly and apricot sauce she canned last week) Mom decided to bake some pies.

Look at that pie! Isn't it gorgeous? Doesn't it look like someone who knows what they're doing made it? Like a real pie baker type person?

Now, let's transition to my pie....

I love a flaky crust. However, in my vast pie baking experience, (which isn't all that vast, as I only make pies about 6 times a year) a flaky crust is more difficult to work with. It often turns out a tad ugly. And the crust tears. And it's hard to repair....

Desperation can lead to all sorts of creativity...

My crust had all sorts of flaws. So, I decided to cut out stars (with the help of my sister) to mask the flaws...Aren't I clever?

And, now, for your reading edification, I will share a conversation between my sister Paula and I, as I make this masterpiece of a peach pie...

Paula: So, what are you going to put in this pie?

Me: Peaches.

Paula (pausing, looking thoughtful): Are we supposed to put something else in there?

Me: Nah..... At least, I don't think so. You just put peaches in a cobbler, so I'm guessing you just put peaches in a pie.

Paula appears doubtful, but as she is NOT the bossy sister in this family, she diplomatically drops it. Let's have a moment of silence and admiration for people who know better, but are able to keep their mouths shut....

And let their sister learn on her own....

Confession: I have never made a peach pie. The cook book was on the counter next to me. But, clearly, looking at an actual RECIPE for peach pie was entirely too much trouble....

Fast forward to evening...Mom is industriously scrubbing on a cookie sheet.

Me: What got all over that?

Mom: Oh, one of the pies overflowed. It started dripping in the oven, then I put this in to catch the rest.

Me: Oh. Was it my pie? I noticed that it looked like it had boiled over. (I had left the pie in my mom's capable hands while I went to spend a few hours at my grandma's. I love being the youngest of four children, and perfectly willing to let everyone else take care of my responsibilities...)

Mom: Yep. Those sure were juicy peaches! How much flour did you put in them to help thicken the pie?

Me: Flour? I didn't put ANY flour in there. Paula actually made mention that maybe something should go in the pie besides peaches, but I couldn't be bothered to look at an actual recipe. Or ask you. I just dumped them in, threw the other crust on, and called it good.

Mom: (Sadly, there is no dialogue to add here. She was bent over the sink laughing, unable to speak.)

However, in MY defense, I think the pie was pretty stinkin' good.

If a bit runny.

Nonthreatening Fireworks.

Studmuffin took Bookworm to buy fireworks yesterday.

Popcorn could not be bothered to interrupt her Looney Toons marathon, and I could not be bothered to interrupt my nap, so they went without us...

"I am getting Black Cats this year. I am NOT wasting our money on those other nonthreatening firecrackers!" Studmuffin shared as we cleaned up our lunch mess.

"NONthreatening firecrackers?"

"Yes. Those we got last year were a complete rip off. I swear we could have let them explode in our hands and nothing would have happened..."

I then experienced some relief that nobody actually decided to brave the above action, and laughed inwardly at fireworks being anything BUT a rip off, because clearly, when the day is done you have literally blown every bit of money you spent on them, and there is not a blessed thing to show for it except a bunch of paper blowing around the yard, black snake marks on the sidewalk, and smoke bomb stains on the driveway...

Speaking of nonthreatening fireworks, last year we had a big show out at my folks...

The "kids" and by kids I mean my grown nieces, my hubby and two brother-in-law's and Sarah's now fiancee, were in charge of pyrotechnics...My brother David was standing over to the side smoking a cigarette so as not to endure the whining and complaining that was to come from yours truly if he smoked near me....

A rather spectacular firework fell over...

Brad, my sister Paula-who-doesn't-blog's husband yells: EVERYBODY TAKE COVER!!!

And, everyone dove for cover, with no clue where the excitement was about to happen, seeing as it's dark and all, but we all were pretty sure we needed to seek refuge...

All except my Grandma Irene, who is a bit slow now that she's 90, and my brother who was standing over enjoying his smoke...

It turns out he can still jump pretty darn high when a ball of fire comes flying straight for his feet...

Fortunately, Mom's garden and tree row did not catch fire...

In other exciting recaps form last year, Brad had bought this most awesome of fireworks called THE GRAND FINALE!

Doesn't the name get you excited and breathless with anticipation?

Well, Gentle Reader, we were breathless, but the excitement was wearing thin. You see, EVERYONE had brought fireworks, and we had been "Oohing" and "Aahing" for about 2 hours. And we were kind of suffering from burnout...Literally.

It was finale time for the big moment.

The king of all pyrotechnic extravaganzas....

The big kahoona....

The bomb...Literally.

Brad lit the fuse...The event began...

And it ended.

Two brief, disappointing explosions later, it was done.

You can imagine our disappointment.

However, it turned out the Grand Finale was a gift that keeps on giving.

The next morning we all went outside and gathered all the punks/papers/and what-nots left after a fireworks extravaganza such as we had...tossed them in a box and then into my parents burn barrel.

Where my parents got a whole new level of excited when they went to burn trash a few days later.

It turns out the Grand Finale had only partially ignited, but since it was dark (26 miles from the nearest town dark), we didn't realize it.

I guess it was pretty exciting for Dad when he lit the trash though!

The Watermelon Cannon

Remember my fantabulous, albeit sweaty July 4th in my home town? I was unable to figure out how to edit all of my video bits of the watermelon cannon. That's why I keep Studmuffin around. He figured it out in no time flat. So, here you have it. I think it's originally called a Punkin' Chunkin', but pumpkins are out of season right now, so I took the liberty of calling it a watermelon cannon. I like changing things to suit my whims....



Have a great day!

July 4th in a Small Town

We went to my parents for the 4th. Have I ever told you the 4th of July is my favorite holiday. There are 2 factors that play into this decision. First, when you live 700 miles from any family, it is the only holiday that you can be guaranteed you will have off with your spouse, and family will seldom expect you to make the drive to see them. Second, as the King and Queen of Cheap, this holiday is perfect. Did you know you can always find a free parade? And frequently a free barbecue (or at least a cheap one) and usually you can top the day off with a free fireworks display. Free, free, free, free, free. It makes me giddy just thinking about it.


Well, we had planned to drive to my hometown for the parade and the picnic in the park. However, my sister Paula and her family were there, and they all wanted to go fishing. I was quickly deserted by my family in favor of smelly fish. However, SOMEONE had to go to town to buy more fireworks for the display we planned at my parents that evening. Mom & I were the elected party.

We made sure we got there in time for the parade. It was amazing to see people I had not seen in 15 years. It was great catching up with people my age and seeing their kids. Unfortunately, they all had to take my word that I had beautiful, amazing, well behaved children that far outshone all of theirs. You will be impressed to know that I refrained from telling anyone about my blog, or handing out business cards with my blog address and Wonder Woman on it.



After the parade, we headed to the fireworks stand, only to discover it was not yet open. However, we noticed a van parked in a field and cars lined up facing said van on the street. "Oh! They must be getting ready for the Punkin' Chunkin'!" What? This was certainly a new festivity to me. When I was growing up we had the standard parade, volley ball tournament, softball tournament, golf tournament, gunny sack races, foot races, turtle races, swimming races, picnic in the park, and free will offering barbecue in the evening with live entertainment followed by a fireworks display put on by the local volunteer fire department. I'm sure I forgot something there, but needless to say the day was always jammed with fun stuff to do. But again, a Punkin' Chunkin'? This was a mystery to me. Of course, we had to see what the big hoopla was all about.


First, let me say that it takes a special group of men to build THIS thing.



But, in all seriousness, it was absolutely fascinating to watch. There was a smaller cannon that could aim a little better, but not shoot as far. You can see it below the big orange one in the photo above.

After they were through wowing us with their ability to demolish a van with watermelons (pumpkins are out of season), they aimed the big one up in the air and showed off how far ti could shoot: Nearly a mile. I'm serious, that sucker could shoot that cannon an amazing distance. I tried to video it, but unfortunately my little point and shoot wasn't as effective as I might have liked. Plus, my camera battery died. Darn. I have several short clips that I'm trying to figure out how to edit into one video. I'll enlist Studmuffin's help tonight, so maybe I'll have more for you soon!

Anyway, after the Punkin' Chunkin' we went to the fireworks stand, hit the quick stop for a cold drink, and dropped in to the grocery store for a few last minute items. At this point, we were pretty hungry, so we headed to the park for the Chamber of Commerce Picnic. We did have to actually pay for our burgers, but it was free to me, since Mom picked up the tab, so I was game! I saw lots of people that I had not thought about in years, and that was even better than the free burger!

Well, I have lots more to tell you about my fabulous fourth, but since I've been a tad dry on blog ideas, I'm planning on milking this holiday for at least 2 more posts!