The Giants

Wow!  Has it been THAT long since I posted?  Well, that also represents how long since I've sat at my computer.  Oh, don't go too crazy.  I do check my email.  On my phone.  But I've just been too distracted to sit down and write a blog.

But in a good way.

On the fourth anniversary in this town, I've come to a startling realization.  I am actually starting to put down roots.  Studmuffin is a little freaked by this revelation.  "We don't put down roots.  We move on."  Sure, he was joking.  But there was a small grain of truth in his statement.  Move away from home to college.  I actually changed colleges three times (long story).  Move to Arlington.  Move to San Antonio.  Move BACK to Oklahoma, yet go on various job interviews disguised as vacations...

And I think that's been my problem here.  Studmuffin has been unhappy in his job, and I've felt that at any moment he could find a better job, and off we'd be.  So, I've kept my emotional distance.  I'm done with that now.

I think...

I've been trying to be purposeful about alone time with God.  Each morning as my water runs in my various flower beds, I sit on my newly painted chair with it's bright red cushion, cup of coffee near at hand, dogs at my feet and cats clamoring up the side of the lattice, and open my Bible.

Right now I'm in the book of Joshua.  I can't say as I've ever sat and studied Joshua.  Sure, I've read the common stories, and I knew the gist, but there are big things that God is telling me in the little passages.  Not that I think any passages are "little."  But they can slip by you if your heart is not listening...

Want to hear something crazy?  I've been burdened by a new movie release.  It's titled "Magic Mike."  When I first saw the previews I thought, "Yuck.  Who would go see that?"  And I've been appalled at just who WILL go  see it.  And it is saddening.

It is not okay.  It is not "just a movie" and it is a saddening reflection of our society as a whole.  I once heard a preacher (I think it was John Macarthur) say that when women have given into sexual depravity as a thing of normalcy, the society has reached rock bottom.  If it wasn't him, I apologize, but he has plenty to say on what GOD says about sexual immorality and here's a quick link to a list of sermons if you want to peruse the site:  http://www.gty.org/search/homosexuality

Anyway, I have been saddened by the depravity I see in our nation.  Yet I have felt a strange joy in spite of the things I see around me.  I know it's because of the time I've been spending with Him.  And I've been listening to what He has to say to me...

Right now he's hammering home the importance of seeking out and eradicating sin.  All sin.

WHAT?  ALL of it?  Surely not.  I mean, my sins arent' that big of deal.

 Right? 

In Joshua 11 & 12 I read of Joshua's leadership of the Israelites into battle.  It took me a few minutes to read it.  But this total eradication of the enemy through these territories took Joshua seven years.  Seven long years of brutally stamping out God's enemies.  Seven years following forty years of wandering in a desert...

Zoiks.  That is some serious obedience.  My Bible annotates:  Obedience is one aspect of life that each individual can control.

Okay.  I can't argue with that.  I may have no control over any other circumstance in my life.  But I CAN control my obedience to God.

As I read a few days later in Joshua 13:13 I saw that the Israelites failed to eradicate all of the people as God had instructed them to do...And again I was pricked by my own stubborn refusal to remove some sins because I view them as "no big deal."  And the rest of the world doesn't even see what I mean if I were to call these areas "sin."

In Joshua 14:6-15 I find the refreshing voice of Caleb, boldly stating that while is well into his 80s he is EAGER to take the land God has promised him and to face the giants he has already seen with his own eyes as a young man.  He knew God was bigger than any foe he would face.  Lord, help me have the strength of Caleb.

I will finish with these three verses Joshua 15:63, 16:10 and 17:12.  Each of these contain a glaring failure on the part of the Israelites.  They failed to remove all of the people of the land, as God had instructed them.  As I reflected on this truth, I was struck by one fact.  This small remnant of people that the Israelites considered not worth the hassle of removing from their land would be the source of suffering for generations to come...

On Saturday morning, I went to weeding my flower beds.  I actually enjoy weeding.  It is very rewarding and it gets me outside which is always a bonus.  However, in my newest flower bed that curves around the southwest side of my house there is a slow insidious takeover happening.  Not in the form of weeds, but in the form of grass.  Of course, I want the grass all over my yard.  Just not in my flower beds.  And it is a royal pain to remove.  That stuff creeps under and over things and those darn roots run deep.  I pulled up every twig that I saw.  And it will still come back.  And I will have to be diligent or before I know it, the darn stuff will have taken over the whole flower bed and choke out the plants I'm wanting to grow.

Sin is the same way.  I can yank it out by the roots.  I can weed it and hoe it, and in extreme cases I can spray it to kill the whole dang plant.  And yet it will come back.

Just like the sin in my life.  It may seem small and insignificant.  But if it interferes with my obedience to God and therefore my fulfillment of God's purpose for my life it is a giant in the making.  As I sat on my knees in my yard Saturday I was overwhelmed with the thought that the small sins of today could be the giants in my future...

Or worse-the giants my children must face.

Lord help me live a life of full obedience.

Pictures Mostly Unrelated to Posting.

I cried during worship service today.  I couldn't even say what I was crying about.  I just felt God's presence so strongly that I wept.  We were singing a silly VBS song, and two little kids went up on stage when the music minister saw them doing the choreography.  That was it.  I couldn't even mouth the words when they started motioning to "Baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost."

Do you ever have moments like that?  As I was weeping, I was trying to figure out what the deal was.  I'm not sure if it has to do with my study of Daniel this week.  I had been steadily reading a chapter a day until I got to chapter nine.  I got bogged down in all of those weeks and sevens and my mind was toast.  I dug up an old study guide from a Beth Moore study I did on Daniel five years ago, and skipped to the week focused on chapter nine.  The first several days were focused on Daniel's prayer.  Therefore I've been really focused on prayer and my prayer life.

Daniel understood scripture and understood that it was relevant to his life.  He understood that his prayers were important.  He knew that God was listening.  So I've been asking myself:  Do I really truly believe that my prayers are meaningful?  Do I truly embrace that God is answering my prayer before I've barely begun?  Do I, do I, do I...

So that's really got me thinking.

This week I officially change to my new schedule.  I will be working Monday through Wednesday from now on.  I am pretty excited to have the extra time home with the kids, but I'm also silently stressed about the decrease in pay.  When I made the decision I knew that I knew that I knew that God was calling me to be more committed to my kids and less committed to my job.  So I took the leap.  And now I'm looking at the ground and it seems very far away. I am wearing shoulders for earrings as I type about this change.  It's one of those things where it will be a good change for the family, but it is a scary change too.

I could also have been crying because my kids are both leaving for kids camp tomorrow morning.  They will be back Thursday night.  

My oldest was invited to her best friend's dance recital followed by a sleepover last night.  I really wanted to say "no" because she will be gone four days after tonight.  However, her friend has been talking about this dance recital since she stayed with us over Christmas, and Bookworm said, "Britni will be heart broken if I don't go to her recital."  So she went.

Popcorn was pretty bummed.  She is very dependent on her sister.  Bookworm has a little celebration when her sister is gone, and goes in her room and arranges all of her stuff exactly as she wants, and lays around reading books and just generally enjoys being alone.  Popcorn mopes around and scuffs her feet a lot and heaves huge sighs the entire time her sister is gone.

 We decided to spoil her.  We feasted on Frito chili pie and ice cream for supper.  Studmuffin had her mow with the riding lawn mower.  That was pretty big stuff, but I was mowing with the push mower, so again I failed to take pictures.  After we finished mowing it was such a beautiful evening that we decided to light a fire and roast marshmallows.  

It was a great evening.

The Early Bird Gets the Worm

I am an early riser.  I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, but once I'm up and about, I love mornings. I'm always happiest if I am the only one awake for a while...

My youngest is an early riser too.  I used to struggle with resentment about this.  After all, my early mornings were MY time.  She has driven me to get up before 6am for sure if I want to have a few minutes of total alone time before she joins me.  Now I love the few moments we have alone.  She sits and eats breakfast and gazes around.  Much like her mother.  We have deep conversations about all sorts of nonsense that really isn't deep at all.

My oldest child considers herself a late riser.  After all, she will sleep all the way until 8am at times!  Shocking, I know.  I like that she wakes a few minutes after her sister, as it gives me a few minutes with just her.  She is always full of information.  Recently it's been conversations about the book she's reading called Hunter Brown and the Secret of the Shadow.  Her Aunt Paula loaned it to her, and she is loving it.

I love to get my kids up, dressed and fed early.  Especially in summer.  I find that if I can feed them breakfast on the back porch, they will end up staying outside until close to noon.  Even on hot days.  They gradually acclimate as the temperature climbs, whereas if I wait until even as early as 8:30, they think it's too hot to go play outside.

I am dreading the rejection of toys.  In the early morning they often take their fairy dolls and play with them in the old garden and have an enchanted fairy forest in the overgrown weeds/carrots/volunteer squash plants.  I wish I could plant a microphone on them so I could know what they are saying.  Their childhood is slipping away right before my eyes, and while I love each phase they enter, I will be most sad when they move past the innocence of fairies in the garden.

See the little boy in the picture below?  That is our little neighbor boy.  He is over every time he sees the girls outside.  He is four and drives them a little crazy. However, they are always nice to him and act very interested in everything he has to say.  I think it's really sweet to watch them with him.  I hope it's a glimpse of how they are with the "other" kids at school.
 

April over at Coal Creek Farm is having a month of no TV.  It's a tradition they begin every June.  I'm tossing around the idea of adding it to our July plans.  Other than that, I really have no summer plans.

Just lots of swimming, grilling, and yard work.  Until it's too hot for yard work.  Then I will be bemoaning yard work.  I plan to laze around the house.  Make several visits to my Grandma.  Y'know.  Just normal summer stuff.

What about you?  Do you have any big plans for summer?  Maybe your plans are like mine, to just enjoy it as it zooms by.  Please share!