Sunday, March 21, 2010

Family Portraits

See this picture? Let's discuss it, shall we? Okay. Look at that shirt I'm wearing. It is circa 1993. I wore it my senior year of high school during homecoming week. It was something about support your favorite professional team, or some such nonsense. Of course, being the avid sports fan that I am, I chose my team based on color. And, I had some inkling that maybe they were going to go to the Super Bowl. Or had been to the Super Bowl... I really didn't care, except it was red, and I kind of thought Joe Namath was associated, and he was a hottie. And, I don't even know if that's how you spell his name. See that jacket? It was $5 off of the clearance rack at Walmart. The horse is Appy. He is a whopping 28 years old. He has not wintered well this year. Paula and I were kind of sad to look at his old face. He has sunken areas above his eyes. He has bony hips. He slobbers when he eats. It's pretty sad. My dad got him for Paula (I think). It's kind of funny that he was intended for the shortest member of our family. He is a huge horse. The beauty there with me is Paula. She is a natural blonde. She used to think she was adopted. Because, clearly, there is nor family resemblance there. At all. Anyhoo, that natural blonde has served her well, as now Dawn and I are constantly battling our gray hair, and hers just blends in. I hate to beat a dead horse here (pardon the pun), but I sure do wish Paula would get a blog. She is a brilliant story teller, and her kids provide endless fodder for tales, if she would only share them with the blogosphere!

This is a picture of my Grandmama Dolly with my girls and my cousin Jaime's girls. Aren't they just too cute? That little one is named Jasee. She is too precious. She rode in front of me on Appy while the bigger girls took turns on Sugar. She talked nonstop. Literally. I was trying to listen to the bigger girls conversation (I love eavesdropping on kids), but would every once in a while tune in to discover we were still on the topic of her horse also named Sugar. She told me all about her horses and how her daddy never lets her ride, but apparently they don't have a good kid horse. Hmmm....I don't think we've ever had a good kid horse either. We just sort of throw them on there, cross our fingers, say a prayer, and hope it all goes well.

Look at these lovely ladies. That is my Grandmama Dolly and my mom. Obviously, they are mother and daughter. I would tell you how old Grandmama Dolly is, but she's touchy about such things. She does not believe in growing old gracefully. Grandmama gave me a love for red. We looked through old pictures at her house. I found a picture of her in turquoise Rockies and a pair of bright red Justin boots. It was taken sometime in the 90s, and she was beautiful in them. I found countless pictures of her in red dresses with red bows in her hair. She was always a pretty lady. I can remember my Granddad Pat always told her "Did you know you are the prettiest lady I know?" She would kind of laugh and tell him, "Oh, go on." But you could tell she loved it. He also used to say, "Have I told you today how much I love you?" Again, she would kind of laugh and serve him up another piece of Mrs. Smith's pie...

My beautiful cousin Jaime came out to see my mom while we were there. Isn't she gorgeous? She was always the prettiest little girl, and she is proof positive that women only become more beautiful when they hit 30. Not that she's there yet. But almost! Let's analyze this photo a bit. No, I'm not wearing makeup. I am also wearing jeans with the knees ripped out. And the left hip pocket half ripped off. And they have green paint on them. But, they are perfect for farm adventures, and I hadn't planned on being photographed when I neglected to wear makeup or wash my hair that week.

Yes. That week.

Here's an uncropped, unedited version of our pose above. You can see why I decided to crop my white knees out. Clearly, they detracted from the loveliness of our faces!

Finally, here is a cropped and edited version of a photo Studmuffin took of us at my Grandmama's house. I decided to edit out the red eye, and for some reason, I edited in a strange green rectangle on my right eye. I have no idea why it's there, but I decided to give up and post it anyway. Heaven forbid I start at ground zero.

Remember the mention of looking through photos? Well, Grandmama has a big stack of boxes of photos in her living room. They are in cute tins and decorative chests, and they are a hoot to look through. They are also sorted.

Very meticulously.

They are all in envelopes. Labeled envelopes. That say things like "Christmas 1992." Inside these labeled envelopes you will find a picture of Granddad Pat's cousin's senior picture, with a picture of my great-Granddad Richard's prize registered herford bull named "Big Boy" (I think) with a photo of Christmas in the 1970s. I know it's in the 1970s, because I am a toddler. Anyway, as you can see the filing system is uber complex, and can not be disturbed...

I was looking through one of these ultra organized stacks of photos, and I commented, "You know, all of these photos are labeled in Granddad's handwriting. How come you never labeled any?"

"Well, he had nothing else to do! All he did was sit and work crossword puzzles while I did the housework and cooked all of the meals!"

And that was true. After Granddad retired from the highway department, I fear he may have been a bit underfoot to my Grandmama, who was used to having the house to herself for the past several years...

Also, I was looking through another well filed stack of photos, and Grandmama was watching for me to come across one of her favorite photos....At last, she spotted it.

"That's a picture of your Uncle Jim Bob with his dog in the front yard. I always loved that picture."

I paused. I was unsure of what to say. At first, I thought I would simply flip past it and not say a word, but then she took it from my hand...

It was a picture of the back of a horse, with it's tail swished to the side, and a colt standing next to it...

Grandmama looked at it, started laughing and without missing a beat said, "Well, didn't you know your uncle is a horse's rear end?"

And that, Gentle Reader is where I get my gentle way of speaking!


Brent said...

Joe Montana played for the 49ers and also did the Hanes commercials, Broadway Joe played for the Jets

Anonymous said...

The comment your G-ma made was hilarious! And I loved the last pic!

Marilyn said...

Even I knew that it was Joe Montana but then I do watch some of the games. Loved the pictures but why did you make me look so OLD>oonsid

Jaime Kubik said...

These pics were great! Thank you for sharing! I miss my grandma something fierce! Ever since the hubby moved me up to Nebraska, I'm far, far away from Grandma and Grandpa. It may sound crazy, but I don't get home sick, I get "grandma and grandpa's place sick"!