Effective immediately, I will no longer be turning every piece of laundry right side out as I am folding it. This means one sock will be right side out, one not. Your panties will be wrong side out. Your shorts will be neatly folded, and placed on your bed for YOU to put away wrong side out!
Unless of course, miracles begin to rain down from heaven, and you stop pulling every stitch of clothing off of your body in such a way that it ends up wrong side out. In this highly unlikely scenario, you will find your clothes neatly folded and lying on your bed RIGHT side out.
Revolutionary, I know.
Darling Studmuffin. You are the best. I truly could not ask for a better husband. However, in light of the stance I am taking with our precious daughters, I find it only fair to hang up your polo shirts wrong side out. Your underwear will not be simply pull from drawer and wear. No. You will now have to stop and turn right side out EVERY. SINGLE. PAIR. Unless of course, by some amazing occurrence you decide not to wad them up in a ball of wrong-side-outness as you take them off...
And, yes I did just discuss your underwear habits with the entire blogosphere as a witness...
Truly, I'm sorry to take such a drastic stance, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Bookworm, I realize that finding your clothes wrong side out is going to totally upset the perfect balance of orderliness and cleanliness that is your room. For this, I can only say: TURN YOUR CLOTHES RIGHT SIDE OUT WHEN YOU THROW IT IN THE HAMPER!!!! Lo and Behold, your clothes will once again be magically right side out when you put them away.
Precious Popcorn, I also realize that you will probably not bother to correct any of the wrong side out clothes as you put them away. In fact, I am already quite sure you will wear your socks and underwear wrong side out, rather than be troubled to correct them. I have decided I'm okay with this. Inevitably this will result in your socks & underwear being RIGHT side out every other time you wear them...
Just as a quick recap/reminder: The laundry fairy does not come to our house. If you need something clean, put it in the hamper. Tell me you are out of clean pants/shorts whatever, and I will be more than happy to launder it. However, since the laundry fairy has failed to show up these past 14 years, you WILL be required to put away your own laundry, and possibly fold it on occasion.
Thank you for your attention and assistance in the above matter.
The Laundress, AKA, your wife and mother