Living Dangerously

My mom came and took care of me this week...

Isn't it great when your mom is around and you can totally revert to childhood, and foist all responsibility on her?

Let's have a moment of silence for mom's who inconvenience their lives for their children....






Moving on: Mom liked to live dangerously at our house. Strangely, she did not realize the danger she was in at the time, and had the nerve to blow it off when I confronted her with it later on....Apparently, because she's "still my mother and I better not act that way around her..."

I woke up at my usual time Monday morning. That is to say, my alarm went off at 5am and I hit snooze until about 5:20, then rolled out of bed, did my morning ablutions which include, a potty break (of course) washing my face with hot water, eye drops (why do my eyes feel like sand paper when I wake up?) and slapping some Olay Complete lotion on, a few swipes of mascara, and then dragging on a pair of scrubs...

I then wandered into the living room toward the kitchen, and my morning coffee.

My mom was awake.

I was shocked, but not really. I mean, she always woke up early when I was growing up. I learned to get up early from her. If a body needs to be alone in the morning, you better get up early to do it...

This is a dilemma! Two people who get up early to avoid being around other people when they first get up!!!!

I sensed this was a possibly dangerous combination. Especially when you consider that my little family realizes to not speak to me until I speak to them...That is, if they want to be ensured a pleasant response...

So, I said, "Good morning! Did you sleep well?"

And, did not wait for a response but went directly to the coffee pot and hit the start button, then poured myself some Grape Nuts (try them with honey and cinnamon, heated in the microwave about a minute, you will thank me for it), then grabbed my Bible and sat down to read, eat my meal, and drink my coffee and requisite 20 ounce glass of Braum's rBGH free skim milk and hoped she took the hint.

Thankfully, she did.

Of course, as soon as I felt human, I began to chatter like the magpie that I am, and did not give the woman a moment of peace, because I got to leave for work, and both kids were awake by the time I left at around 6:50.

All day I fretted about the morning thing.

silly, I know, but I was really, REALLY grateful Mom had come to watch the girls so I could work while one is sick. I would just feel awful if I let the beast loose and said rude, hurtful things in the mornings to her.

THEN on Monday night I took my normal walk with my friend Sandy. I came home, stretched, and then stretched out on the couch to watch TV...And fell asleep.

Now, before I was actually asleep, Mom asked me, "Andrea, do you need to go to bed?"

"NO." I said. Because I didn't WANT to go to bed. My back has been aching, and the couch is the perfect support for em to curl up against and get relief...

Then, she had the shear nerve to kiss me goodnight as she headed off to bed!!!

DOES THIS WOMAN NOT KNOW ME AT ALL??? Does she not realize the danger she places herself in to lean in close and give me a hug and kiss me goodnight? Did she not raise me for 18 years? Does she not remember that Dad banned me from the breakfast table in my teen years because he didn't like me ruining his day with my crappy attitude?

As it turns out, no.

She does not remember that at all.

Wow.

I guess she really does choose to not remember the bad things.

Because, I guarantee you the rest of the family remembers it.

Even my in-laws remember it.
One time my brother in law Loren made a comment about how chipper I looked as I was pouring myself some coffee. I distinctly remember glaring at him. He made another comment (Loren is really good at comments, especially goading ones). I used all of my willpower not to just tell him to SHUT. UP. And I left the kitchen...

And we laughed about it later.

But he's never forgotten it.

But, apparently my mom has chosen to.


Speaking of living dangerously:

I've been stressed lately. Sick kids. Short staffed at work. Leaving my coworkers even more short to be home with my kids. Being informed I have 5 unscheduled absences on my record at work, and counseling occurs after four, and I should apply for FMLA to protect my job and any disciplinary measures that may result due to additional absences I may have due to the fact that the sick one will have a compromised immune system for a period...Then finding out I am short about 40 hours annually of qualifying for FMLA...

Everyone has different ways of dealing with stress.

You know those people who can't eat when they're worried?

I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!!!

I drink cups and cups and cups of coffee.
I bake cookies.
I eat cookies.
I bake and eat brownies.
I eat entire jars of salsa. In one setting.
I get tension in my shoulders and neck that hurt so bad I don't want to hold my head up. So I lie down on the couch. And I take an unplanned 2 hour nap.
And then I can't sleep at night...
So, I'm tired...
So I drink cups and cups and cups of coffee...

In short: If I don't put on 30 pounds before this is all said and done, it will NOT be because I haven't made poor decisions!