Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Table Manners for Rednecks

It is impolite to lick the steak on one's plate. I'm not even sure why one might try this. However, in anticipation of waiting for prayer, one may be strangely compelled. Please. By all that is good and holy, try to resist.

Incredibly loud, moist belches loosed by a 10 year old are NOT funny. Even if they come from a ten year old girl in the middle of a word. I'm quite certain it is bad form.

It is especially bad form if the laughter, caused by the 3 syllable moist burp from the mouth a of a ten year old girl, leads to spewing chewed carrots all over one's plate. This offense is even more grievous if the offender is the mother, and therefore the example of gentle manners for the entire family.

Roasting marshmallows over the gas stove is acceptable. Or, at least if it's not it should be. Who wants to go light a fire every time the urge for a s'more comes on?

However, stopping to fish one's graham cracker crumbs out of your cleavage (or what there is of it) is not acceptable. I fear there is really no area for gray in this department.

Gentle Reader, I'm not sure, but I fear my hopes of having a gently reared family may be flying out the window.

Thoughts?

5 comments:

Dawn said...

I about spit my diet coke all over the computer screen! I'm pretty sure that is not the epitome of good manners.....

Marilyn said...

And what was the title of this post? That was funny.

Marilyn said...

love your new look. Actually I forgot what to do for a new look, so just changed some colors. Help!!

Paulette said...

Nice. I just sprayed my computer screen because the laugh came out faster than I could open my mouth...

Too darn funny!

Crazy Sister said...

It doesn't seem to be to much to ask, surely...