Cockroach Killers

Have you ever seen those really pointy toed cowboy boots?  I realize they have actually made it to the somewhat "fashionable" world of western wear.  However, when we lived in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, they were NOT in style.  Anytime we saw someone wearing them Brent would say, "Look at those Cockroach Killers."  Apparently the pointy toe is really good for getting into corners.

Today at work I noticed a bad smell in our department.  Our bathrooms have drains in the floors.  They were designed for showers.  However, nobody actually showers in our bathrooms, so gases build up in the drain pipes and they start to smell.  Our friendly environmental services repairman taught us to pour water into the trap every so often to alleviate the smell.  It works like a charm!

So today I noticed the smell.  I dumped some water down the trap, and the smell remained.  So I dumped some more.  I was on my fourth cup (I was using a large foam cup) and wondering how many cups it would take.  Suddenly a cockroach no less than two inches long climbed out of the drain.  It took all of my willpower, but I held the scream inside my throat (so as to not alert patients to the fact that critters were invading) and jumped up and stomped on it.  However, as I was turning to stomp the quick little critter, three more came darting out...

I stomp, stomp, stomped gave a great big shuddering "Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh" (insert zombie-ish moaning sound) and scratched my body all over, then convulsed some more as I put on a glove, grabbed a paper towel and disposed of the still antenna waving horrors...

Aside:

I had only seen roaches one other time at our hospital, and those actually climbed out of one of a patient's bag and up my arm...And believe it or not, I stifled that scream to, in an effort to not offend the dear lady.  I calmly handed her bag to her as I tried to subtly stomp the roaches that I'd just flicked off of my arm.  She calmly dug a banana out of her bag and began to eat it... Completely oblivious (desensitized) to the roaches that were swarming inside it.

*Shudder*

After she left I killed three more roaches in that bay and nearly had a heeby jeeby breakdown.

Back to present day:

I tried to nonchalantly leave the bathroom to call environmental services.  I decided not to call at the nurses station as we had patients in the department.  I went to an office, and one of the PAs was on the phone.  I went to the front desk, and there was family in the waiting area.  My supervisor wasn't in yet, so her door was locked and I felt weird about waltzing into our doctor's office to use his phone without him there...

I wandered back to the holding area just in time to see one of our female patients come scurrying out of the bathroom and say, "There are BUGS chasing me in there."

Color me mortified!  I said, "I'm so sorry," and walked in to the bathroom to find four more roaches running around the floor.  I stomped, stomped, stomped, stomped, slammed the door shut, leaving the light on, and tucked a blanket under the door.

Now, I realize the blanket wasn't going to stop them, but I was hoping they would want to prefer the dark, and therefore not come out of the drain since I was leaving a light on...

I then gave up all pretenses of subtlety and called environmental services who helpfully informed me pest control was coming that very day, but they were going to ER first...Of course the pest guy had other errands to jobs first.  I don't understand how any pest problem could be a bigger deal than ours.  But there ya go...

Later on I went to chat with the lady and apologize AGAIN and express my mortification over the roaches.  "I have NEVER even seen a roach here.  I am so sorry for your experience."  (Okay, so I fudged a little, but the other roaches were carried in and mostly out by the same patient.)  She laughed and told her family how I saved her from attacking bugs.  We were all laughing about her hysteria when her sister said, "I love your shoes!"

"Thanks!  They make great roach killers!"

And you guys thought they were a purely frivolous purchase!