Saturday, February 16, 2013

Two Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon

HASHTAG!!!  I have a new BFF!  It is soooo exciting, Gentle Reader.

We met last Saturday. 

And we had a date to meet up again today.

But then she forgot about her new burgeoning friendship with her very favorite BFF...

Or she may not have realized that we had a date.

But we did...Oh, Gentle Reader, we most certainly did.  Because I know deep down in my soul that our friendship is destined for greatness.

Are you confused yet?

Well, it all started at 9:30am on Saturday, February 9th, 2013.

Or thereabouts.

Anyway, I went into my pilates class, eyeballed the creepy, sweaty dude who follows a one hour spin class with a one hour Pilates class "on every Saturday, because my weekend is just not right if I don't start it out this way."  I mistakenly put my mat next to his one week and was disconcerted to hear him let out EEEyah! with nearly every roll up.  And pike.  And leg circle.

Seriously.  He's pouring sweat, and he's letting out these giant "OOFS!" and "HeeYAAA!"  It's quite annoying...

Anyhoo...I eyeballed him.  And I carried my mat to the far opposite corner of the room.  Two young women were chatting about where the instructor would be, and where should they put their mats.  And ever helpful person that I am, I glanced over my shoulder as I tugged off my shoes and said, "She lays her mat in the middle of the floor, we make a circle around."

They both smiled and dropped a thanks, then went to the equipment room to grab some mats.  "Hmm..That dark haired one looked familiar."  And I continued to fidget with my mat, moving it over a bit so they could both fit in the space they had chosen, and debated whether I should go pee before doing excessive abdominal work...

And then I heard THE VOICE.  "I know that voice!"  I turned and took a better gander at the gal who was laying out her mat RIGHT next to me.

IT WAS OUR LOCAL WEATHER GIRL!  All sweaty and pale, because she herself had done the psycho spin class before this Pilates class also.

Well, there was only one thing to do:  I picked up my phone and sent out a group text:  "Blahblahblah Blahblah is doing pilates RIGHT.  NEXT. TO. ME."

I was saddened to realize some people do not realize who our local weather girl is, nor do they realize how HUGELY significant this is...I mean, I'm offically two degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.  I do pilates with her, she works for a tv station, which for SURE has shown a Kevin Bacon movie.  I mean, this made me practically famous!  So exciting.

Oh, and the excitement determined that yes, indeed, I did need to go pee.

And so did she!!!  It was instant bonding Gentle Reader.  I KNEW this was the beginning of a beautiful thing.  We would start meeting up on Saturday Pilates classes.  Then we would advance our small chitchat to grabbing a cup of coffee from Starbucks after.  Perhaps even reward ourselves with a chicken biscuit from CFA.  Or perhaps run to Academy to do check out cute new workout gear to wear.  Perhaps I would get an aqua dry fit top and she would get eggplant.  Those colors compliment so well, yes?

Anyway, I avoided assaulting her with jokes about "So, how about this weather?  Think we will get any moisture soon?"  and other such nonsense that I'm sure all of the silly  start struck fools approach her with. 

Instead, I was cool and calm.  And competitive.  We did push ups last Saturday.  LOTS of push ups.  So many that I decided to quit keeping track at 32.  And while the instructor may have been saying, "These are YOUR push ups.  If you can only do 2 inches, do those 2 inches, and you will build up strength."

Hashtag, I wasn't doin' no stinkin' 2 inch push ups!  And I was NOT going to do a modified push up.  I was next to our local weather girl!  She needed, nay, DESERVED to see what I was capable of.  Just so our future friendship was on equal footing, mind you.  I didn't want her to feel the need to dial back her own super fitness just to spare her new BFF's feelings.

So, 32 push ups I did.  And more.  Yes, the last several were shaky.  And slow.  But I did them!

I could feel her beaming approval emanating over to me as we quietly breathed in through our nose and forcefully exhaled through our mouths in perfect pilatial harmony.

Oh, Gentle Reader it was so beautiful...

Fast forward one week:  I was sure to arrive at the gym before 9 so I could get a full 30 minutes of cardio before heading to the pilates gym.  I wanted to be sure I had ample time to search out the ideal spot for my new BFF and I to work out together.  Because even though, we did not exchange actual words last Saturday, I knew she was able to sense the awesomeness of our relationship to be based on how perfectly our "shoooooos" blended together as we exhaled through our pikes...

Only, HASHTAG!  A cute little blond with well manicured toes and hair put her mat down next to mine!  Oh no!  Where oh where would my new BFF sit?  There was not quite enough room on my left because I figured she would come with the cute little blond girl that I was planning to dethrone from workout partner to a place somewhere that involved a merely casual, cheerful "Hi" as they passed in the ladies locker room...

Not that I'm evil.  Or possessive. 

Unless it comes to my new BFF, the local weather girl.  And in that case I can be quite proprietal...

The perky well manicured blond turned out to be quite friendly, and we discussed our hopes that the push ups would be nonexistent this week, and the fact that the new instructor is really great, and what other classes do you take, yadayadayada.

Y'know.  Because I can and will talk to just about anyone with a pulse...

And my new BFF never showed up.


*Oh, and for those of you who ask the eternal yoga pant question, the answer is:  running shorts.


Dawn Castor said...

Delusional! Lol!!

Taylor said...

Sorry your new bff was not meant to be ;) haha

Covnitkepr1 said...

I need to rest up from just reading about all that exercise. wife's uncle's cousin has a friend who knows a local TV newscaster by I know the feeling of being close to celebrity.

Just checking back for any new items you may have posted.
I left a note of invitation in the comment section on one of your past posts’ and invited you to follow my blog. Just in case it was accidently overlooked, just want you to know the invitation is still very much valid…and of course, I am already following your blog.

mommamindy said...

I feel anew the agnst of broken playground friendships. Maybe you should have slipped her a note on a piece of torn notebook paper asking her to be BFF forever, then you wouldn't have to have sat next to manicured blond.

I have missed you! Gotta' get back into my routine of reading the funnies. :)