EASTER HIJINKS

Don't you love when you have "Good Mommy" days? We spent today doing fun, messy activities. You know the ones. You spend 30 minutes preparing for fun. The kids plow through the activity, and flit away...leaving you with the clean up. Can anyone relate?

Confession: I LOVE to color Easter eggs. Studmuffin and I used to do it before we even had children.

Since we've had children, I've loved having an excuse to color eggs. My friend Jenny had never colored eggs, or allowed her children to until she met me, and I nagged her into participating. She called me this week, and said she plans on doing it with her 4 girls this week! You see, now that her kids know about the joy of egg coloring, she will be guilted into doing it until the end of time. Unfortunately for her, 450 miles is a bit too much of a commute for me to continue to keep the mess at my house. You're welcome, Jenny!

Warning: Drastic topic change.
Jenny had also never popped fire crackers, nor allowed her children to. One July 4th they were moving into a new house. I was watching her 2 oldest girls for her. We went to buy fireworks. Her oldest said "My mom would be totally freaking if she knew we were doing this." Uh-oh. I called Jenny. Jenny said, "That's okay. I know you won't let them do anything that blows up." I refrained from pointing out that the very essence of fireworks is, well, explosions..... A mere 12 months later and she had come over to the dark side...Her 2 oldest were popping like crazy while her hubby and mine were setting off the bigger fireworks. She once told her mom that any time she was too afraid to let her kids try anything, all she had to do was send them over to me and eventually they'd get to do it. Using sharp knives (we made salsa), fireworks, bullying them into swimming....you get the idea.

Return to subject matter:

This year I bought some glitter glaze paints and the girls painted their eggs with the glaze after coloring them. Let's be honest, here...I painted my eggs too. I was totally bummed that I only bought 2 dozen eggs. Considering 3 cracked while boiling, that only left a mere 21 for me to divvy up with the girls. I sacrificed and let them each have 8, and I only did 5. Yeah, I know....My generosity is overwhelming!

Studmuffin deferred from participating this year. He was busy working on the infamous backsplash and building a fence around the pool filter. Somebody's puppy chewed up all of the electrical cords to the filter. So, obviously he was occupied repairing the cords too. I always knew the knowledge he gained from repairing those extension cords he tended to cut in half with the hedge trimmer would come in handy.

Bookworm and Studmuffin went out to practice hitting balls, and Popcorn and I made some Easter treats. The other day I saw some Easter eggs made out of Rice Krispie treats. They had dipped them in colored almond bark. We opted to go with the classic recipe. We divided up the melted marshmallows into 3 bowls and colored them orange, green, and blue. At least it was blue until Popcorn added a ton of green food coloring to the mix to see what it made. Surprise! It made a sort of teal color that almost exactly matched our green. Oh well, remember, it was "Good Mommy" day. I restrained myself from complaining. I know...Amazing.

One more thing, and I will let you go to prepare your own delicious Easter treats....In the middle of coloring eggs Bookworm looked at me and said, "So, are you Santa too?" My heart skipped a beat. I widened my eyes, did a tiny shake "no" then looked at her sister. She dropped it immediately. I guess I was right...now that the Easter Bunny has been debunked, Santa is next!

Conversations with Kids: The Easter Bunny

WARNING: Mythical creatures are unmasked in this post. Please proceed with caution if you are young and impressionable. Or old and delusional. Either way, please be advised that this post may be shocking and disillusional for you. Is disillusional a word? I think it should be, if it's not!




We were driving to school this morning and Popcorn asked "Mommy, is the Easter Bunny real?"

"What do you think," I asked.

"Well, I think he's real....But it doesn't make sense. I mean how does a rabbit get in my house? And how does it put stuff in our baskets? It doesn't make sense."

Bookworm piped up, "It's not a rabbit, it's a person in a rabbit costume."

Popcorn replied, "That doesn't make sense, Bookworm. Why would a person put on a bunny outfit, and come in our house?"

I decided to join back in this fascinating conversation. "Well, what do you think happens Popcorn?"

"I think you go to the store and buy the stuff, then put it in our basket!"

Okay. I can't argue with that assessment of the situation. "Well, that's the truth."

Bookworm started laughing. "I feel silly! I thought it, like, hopped through the window or something....Or maybe had a spare key." She said she wasn't at all disappointed to learn he wasn't real. Whew.

I instructed them to not go telling all of their friends the truth about the Easter Bunny. Popcorn replied, "Well, okay. I pinky promise, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to tell someone."

What? What in the heck is the point of a pinky promise if you know you can't keep it? Apparently this info is too good to keep to herself. I can relate to that. I spew everything I know onto the world wide web, so really I didn't have a leg to stand on. I did tell her to pretend it was like a present, and you didn't want to tell anyone and ruin the surprise. She didn't have much to say to that.

Isn't it funny how kids brains work? Who knew they were putting all of this thought into the Easter Bunny, a mythical creature I've never even acknowledged to them. I've always just handed them a basket on Easter morning, and that was that. Their only real idea of him came from him coming to see them at school or seeing him at malls.

I think Popcorn, the more discerning of the two, noticed all of the "Easter Basket Filler" signs at the store, and noticed all of the commercials telling parents what they should put in their children's basket, and put two and two together.

Bookworm tends to take everything at face value. She's probably going to be like me...I was in 4th grade, and I asked my mom who the Easter Bunny was. She said "The same person Santa is." I was horrified to realize Santa wasn't real. She thought surely I knew he wasn't real, but just played along for fear he'd quit coming. Nope. I believed in him. Turns out, my darling brother never spilled the beans because he was afraid that Santa wouldn't come anymore either. Anyway, I can see Bookworm believing in Santa until I point blank tell her he's not real. In all honesty, I practically have. Every time she says someone she knows said Santa isn't real, I say, "Oh well. It's no big deal not to believe in Santa." She is very adamant that she believes in him.

Well, that's all of the bubbles I plan to pop for today. Hope everyone has a very Happy Easter!

A G20 summit meeting with the ants

Ummm...Excuse me! Excuse me? Mr. Big Red Ant? I need to speak with you......




Oh! There you are. I was wondering if we could speak. Actually, I would like to speak with the queen, but I understand she's too busy to bother with me right now. Could you spare a minute of your time? Don't worry, I'll wait while you round up your advisers and press secretaries.



Yes...Yes, I understand you're very busy. It's just you seem to have forgotten a few terms of our agreement.

Terms? Oh, now Mr. Big Red Ant, don't play ignorant with me. You know the agreement. The one where I agreed to let you stay in your 2 dens at the back of our property if you promised not to venture closer to the house?

Still don't remember? Let me refresh your memory. You stay in your 2 original dens, and I don't unleash a big nuclear pesticide bomb all over your den.

Yes. That agreement.

I understand how important you are Mr. Big Red Ant. I like you. I truly do. I used to love to watch you at my Great Grandma Jones' house. She had a giant den. I loved to single out one ant and just follow him around. I was always fascinated by your work ethic. I also happen to love horny toads, and one thing I learned in Texas is that killing all of you seems to greatly effect the horny toad population. Since I love all things toad and froggish, I'm sure you understand.

What's that you say? You don't particularly care for horny toads? Well, under the circumstances, I can understand that.



How about bed bugs? I know that if I ever have an infestation of bed bugs I can put my Original Prairie Woman hat and throw all of my bedding and mattresses out for you, and you will gladly eat the bugs, eggs and all.

You like that example better? Okey dokey. But I gotta tell you, I prefer to think about horny toads.....

So, Mr. Big Red Ant, here's the problem. You have started a 3rd den. Closer to the house. This is in clear violation of the original agreement. Please understand that if you act quickly to abandon this 3rd den, I will gladly defer any further actions at this time.

However, if you fail to meet our terms, I'm afraid I will have to take drastic action....

And nobody wants to see that.

Thank you for your time Mr. Big Red Ant. Please convey my greetings to the queen and have a good day.

Random thoughts

Between my sister and the Country Doctor's Wife, my spring fever is reaching epic proportions. The wind is supposed to reach only "breezy" today, versus the hurricane force we've been contending for the past month or two (slight exaggeration...very slight). So, I plan to mow today. I put on a tank top with my favorite pair of holey jeans circa 1999. I have to wear a jacket over the tank top, because I'm cold...but again, I'm suffering from spring fever here. I need to comfort myself in small ways.

Studmuffin still won't let me get chickens. I hate when he insists on being the voice of reason....

I'm washing bedding today. I noticed my mattress has a big dip in the middle. Does that have any correlation to my back pain? A mattress is nowhere in my budget. I have plans. Big plans. New flooring. New fence. A vacation to South Dakota. No plans for a mattress in sight...

Popcorn is begging me to homeschool her. I told her God still isn't speaking to me about that, and she might want to pray about it some more. Bookworm was horrified to hear her sister say "school stinks." At least I don't have to drag two kids to school. BTW, anyone who doesn't know Popcorn may not realize it, but she is a very social person. She loves to play, and she could make friends with a fence post. I don't know how she thinks she'd survive homeschooling.

Ironically, Popcorn plans to work every single day as an adult, and her kids will have to ride the bus every day. She is going to do work like her daddy, making sure things get built right, and in the right order. She actually went to work with him one day this year...He had her color on some old plans, so I'm not sure she has a true grasp of his job. Popcorn frequently has plans of what she will make her children do. They usually echo something I make her do that she despises. Example: Her children will always wear tennis shoes. They will practice piano 2 hours every day. They will stand in the corner every day. They will clean their toys up every day. You get the idea...

Bookworm wants to be a veterinarian...but only work a few days a week. That's my girl. Work as little as possible. I can teach her to be cheap, so she only has to work a few days a week...

I miss Texas.

There. I said it. I miss my friends. I miss the heat. I miss good Mexican food. I miss Dairy Queen. I miss mocking birds dive bombing the cat on a daily basis...just because they can. I miss blue bonnets and Indian paint brushes, and esperanza, and lantana growing wild....I am ready for warm weather.

*sigh* Moving on....

Easter is this Sunday. I don't know what to wear. I hate buying church clothes...And it's supposed to be cold. Do you think I can wear the same outfit I wore for our Christmas program? Will anyone notice? I think an eggplant sweater, charcoal pants and black boots should be fine for Easter Sunday.

Well, I don't really have anything else to say...There's very little drama in our house right now. How strange. Well, have a great Wednesday morning! I'm off to mow my dandelions!

Today Studmuffin and I had our annual physicals...Yuck is all I have to say about that. To treat ourselves after the violations that we shall not speak of in bloggerland we went to eat. Fatty, salty, triple decker BLT for the stud with high blood pressure and suggested lifestyle changes. A Taos turkey sandwich for me.

What is a Taos turkey sandwich you ask? Well, I'm gonna tell you...And you will want to go make you one right away!

Fresh homemade bread
Turkey breast
Red onions
Lettuce
Tomato
Bacon
Cranberries
Cream cheese

Oh dear. It is so good, your taste buds will be shouting hallelujah choruses. I'm tellin' ya, next time you've been sorely abused by your primary care provider I can highly recommend this sandwich to cure what ails you.

Did I mention that I could have had fresh homemade sweet potato fries? I was strong. I resisted. Barely. Then when we were paying the display of desserts (all made fresh in the diner) was to die for. Studmuffin refused to share a hello dolly with me, or a giant cinnamon roll. So, again I resisted. But only because Studmuffin was being a party pooper.

I was working in this bridal shop....

Can you believe someone hired me to work in a bridal shop? Not as a cleaner, or any form of manual labor, which I would have excelled at, I assure you, but as an actual sales associate! No joke!

I was 20 years old, very newly married (a whole week) and I was job hunting. I saw an ad for a bridal shop and thought "Hey! I just got married! I know all about that! I'll go apply." And I got the job. Okay, I feel the need to give you more info...Yes, I had just gotten married. But, I had made very few decisions. My family did all of the planning. I borrowed my sister's dress. I just showed up, said a few lines, and moved on. Why on earth I thought I knew anything about planning a wedding is beyond me...

But, now I was working in a bridal shop. Advising blushing brides on their dresses, veils, invitations, tuxes...basically everything.

Ummm, one small problem here....Remember me, the Queen of Cheap? Can you imagine me encouraging a woman to spend thousands of dollars on her dress when there were perfectly fine ones for a fraction of that? And quinceanera dresses (fifteenth birthday debutante dresses)? Forget about it! Those families would come in with like 12 kids in tow, and there was no way I was going to show them a dress over $200. It took me awhile to figure out that none of the other associates ever showed their customers the clearance room.

Duh.

My favorite part of my job was vacuuming and steaming the dresses. Did that statement make sense? I vacuumed floors and steamed the dress...Okay, so I wasn't hired to clean toilets, but I would have preferred doing that to trying to get someone to spend money. I think the windows in the displays were cleaner than they'd ever been when I was there.

Well, as you can imagine, I did not excel in salesmanship at this lovely little shop. I lasted maybe 2 months, and that was only because it took me that long to find another job with fairly comparable pay...I went to work at Old Navy...Where shopping is fun again!

Now that was right up my ally. The clothes were cute, affordable, and I didn't feel like I was leading anyone into bankruptcy.

Yep...I worked in a bridal shop...But I wasn't any good at it.

Even the small things matter to Him

God cares. Isn't that nice to hear? As Christians we hear "God cares for you" all of the time. But do we believe it? If you're like me your answer will be a resounding "YES!" However, if I stop and really listen, and think, what will the answer be?

I love when God smacks me in the face with a truth I needed to hear and I'm not even looking for it. I'm studying the prophets right now. I'm currently reading in 2 Kings about Elisha's ministry. Today I was reading about the miracles God performed through Elisha. The great thing about Elisha's ministry is how he touched people. Ordinary people. Like me. I urge you to read 2 Kings 4-8. It is full of God's goodness and Elisha's willingness to meet people's needs.

Today God spoke to me. He spoke to me about trusting Him. "Of course I trust You!" Then, I read 2 Kings 6:1-6. Here is this little miracle in the middle of a bunch of big miracles. An axhead floats. Did this miracle save a life? Did it feed hundreds? Did it alter the coarse of history? No. But it made a difference to one of God's servants. The servant lost his iron axhead in the Jordan River. And it was borrowed. Isn't that typical? The man was very upset. Elisha touched the place where it landed with a stick and the iron floated to the top. I'm sure most of you have heard this story, but it really struck me today.

Nothing is too small for God. Nothing is too big for God, so how can any of my problems be too small for Him?

2 Chronicles 32:7 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him for there is a greater power with us than with him.

Psalm 55:18 He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.

Romans 8:31 What then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

1 John 4:4b The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world

2 Kings 6:16 "Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them."

All of these verses are responses to great opposition to the believer. There was nowhere to turn but God. So, obviously, God can handle my big problems. Easily. I trust God to deal with the big stuff. I struggle with giving him my little stuff. I tend to try and fix all of those issues on my own. But I see here, in 2 Kings 6:5, that this man did not dive into the Jordan and try to find his axhead himself (the Jordan was a dirty, murky river). He did not go to all of his coworkers to get their advice on how to find the axhead, or how to tell the person he borrowed it from how he lost it. Instead he immediately brought the problem to the prophet, and the prophet used God's power to find what was lost. The man trusted God to solve his problem. And he did.

So, how about you? Are you trusting God with all of your problems? Do you go to Him immediately when life's little trials come up? Trust God. He cares for you. None of your problems are too big for Him, and certainly none of them are too small for Him.

Oh, and if this post seems to have a familiar ring to it, you're right...I had a very similar discussion with God about this very issue in December. You can read about that here.
Yep, sometimes I'm slow on the uptake, and God has to smack some sense into me again.