The Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Expo

This past Saturday we went to the Wildlife Expo.  It was a great day, and I thought you would enjoy my synopsis of it in pictures along with my random thoughts involving said pictures.  For example the picture above makes me laugh.  I look awkward, and my daughter is ducking down between us so we can look sweet and in love, but it is just truly hard to take a good photo holding the camera yourself.

There was a dog show involving labradors and golden retrievers.  I have much to say about this, but can tell you the rest in about a week.  See the girls?  They kept getting closer and closer and closer...Thankfully they didn't actually climb up on the stage like some kids!

The kids went kayaking.  I now am quite certain I need a kayak.  A two person one to be exact so I can go have fun when Studmuffin is fishing with my family over fall break.  I will strap it to the top of our Apache tent camper and drive it merrily down the road.  As I am the Queen of All Things Cheap or Better Yet Free, please advise if you know where I can get a cheap/free two person kayak.  Thank you.

We all got to pet an alligator...
And a millipede and snakes, and many other creepy crawlies.

Oh look!  Another self portrait!  How impressive.  I look fake.

Studmuffin gleefully posed with his new trophy:  Smoky the Bear.

Another beagle?  On top of the beagle who did NOT move to my house this summer, despite his attempts, we have had a beagle pup who lives one mile north of us show up in our yard a lot lately.  The girls bonded with this mama immediately.  What is God trying to tell me about beagles? 

Oh, lookey there!  Another self portrait.  I was feeling quite photogenic, apparently.  Too bad I'm simply pale and ghostly.  Oh, and look at my daughter in her dad's old Browning hat.  How sweet.

The girls stood in line to do a mini ropes course.  I sat on a bale of hay while they waited their turn.  Who knew walking around an expo and standing in line could make one's back ache so?

The Boy Scouts were on safety patrol.  As we were headed home, we stopped at Braum's where I ran in to grab milk and there was a group of scouts leaving.  Apparently one of them tried to mistakenly climb in our vehicle.  Their troop master stopped to tell Brent he was sorry for the mix up.  Brent said, "Yeah, he can track wild animals but he can't find his car in the parking lot!"

My husband...He's funny.

Popcorn did a mountain bike trail.  Alone.  Studmuffin had taken Bookworm to brush up on her archery skills, and my back was too unsteady for such folderol.  My last thought as she peddled away, "Please God, don't let any psycho pedophiles jump out and snatch her before the next kid comes down the trail."

My thoughts are never irrational.  Why do you ask?

If only I'd snapped this photo a split second later.  She totally wiped out.  It was great.  And unexpected.  And she laughed, so it was okay for me to laugh at her.

I see this photo, and my brain says, "Bend and SNAP!"  If you do not know Legally Blonde, that statement makes no sense.

Bookworm endeavoring to prove that she does have a future in archery...And that a scholarship in said field is totally a reasonable expectation.

We stopped at Pop's on Historic Route 66.  You must put HISTORIC in front of Route 66.  Not sure why, but you must.  Probably because it's historic...as in obsolete now that the interstate has come to town...

They have more sodas than you can fathom.  Bookworm went with Faygo made in Michigan....

This is Popcorn realizing her soda was from....LEBANON???  She had apparently grabbed a bottle from the international soda section.  Studmuffin and I both thought it tasted like a wine cooler... 

Seagram's golden wine coolers...

Do you remember Bruce Willis singing that commercial in the 80s/90s?  He is totally to blame for my sampling that bottle of sparkling goodness in college.

And, for our GRAND FINALE!!!!

Oooooh!  Look at the happy couple!  She with her Round Barn Root Beer and him with his Dublin Doctor Pepper...

Now.  Wasn't that fun?  What fun things has your family done recently?  Do tell!

Donuts

This morning it was a beautiful morning...

So beautiful that Popcorn and I decided to sneak to the donut shop before her sister woke up and surprise her with a sugar laden treat.

Did you know our little town has the best donuts ever?  If you ever come visit me, you will totally need to visit our little Donut Shop (appropriate name, no?) and taste some heaven...

Anyway, Popcorn threw on some old clothes and I threw on a light jacket to hide my lack of a bra, and we were off...

I needed brownie points against my husband.  Popcorn was sick for several days, and the first day she was at 100 percent she wanted Chinese.  Which I refused to buy as the only nearby Chinese would cost a pretty penny for us to get for the whole family.  And Bookworm doesn't care for Chinese, and I would be forced to buy her American food at a Chinese restaurant.  Which is just wrong on so many levels...And we were only at August 9th.  And we only have $100 budgeted for the entire month for dining and we'd already spent $15.  And my kids are going to my folks today, so I wanted to save money for the hubby and I to go eat and watch Cowboys and Aliens.

And because I am clearly selfish...

So my darling husband took her to eat Chinese yesterday for lunch.  I had planned on going to buy Bookworm's flute and some back to school digs and treat Bookworm to Chikfila and Popcorn to Chinese in the food court at the mall...He did the flute and lunch treat yesterday...

Grrr.  He always steals my thunder.  Because, he is clearly selfish that way.

So.  I decided to gain some ground on "greatest parent" by splurging on some donuts out of my very own "fun money" envelope.  Do any of you even know what I'm talking about with envelopes?  We do an envelope system where we get a certain amount for various categories to spend each month. When that envelope is empty, you are done for that month.  Dining is our biggest struggle.  Now that the girls are older, it is difficult to keep in the $100 range.

You know, donuts are the devil.  I had already eaten a nutritious piece of whole wheat toast with peanut butter and local honey with a tall glass of skim milk, and my requisite two cups of coffee.

I walked into that sweet smelling donut shop, and ordered a chocolate sprinkled donut, and cinnamon twist for Popcorn, a maple and blueberry cake donut for Bookworm, and in a desperate grab to add to my greatness I allowed Popcorn to get each of them a pig in the blanket....

As I started to pay my eyes strayed longingly to the bear claws...I felt my will melt to a puddle in my stomach.  It tasted a lot like apple cinnamon glazed deliciousness.  I got one.

Speaking of bear claws, what do you consider a bear claw?  The lady at the bakery considered what I ordered an apple fritter.  I thought they were the same thing.  She said a real bear claw has maple frosting...Who knew?

I told her that in South Texas a pig in the blanket is a kolache.  In Oklahoma a kolache is a pastry with fruit in the middle.  They thought I was crazy to call a kolache a pig in the blanket, and I told them that I was pretty sure any Czech they spoke to would correct them...

Of course, I also was mistaken in my identification of breakfast burritos by South Texas standards.  What North Texas and Oklahoma refer to as a breakfast burrito is called a taco down south.

Speaking of the word taco, the Hispanic people I worked with had a different pronunciation of "taco."  The "t" is a softer sound, made with the tongue pressed against the back of the teeth instead of to the roof of the mouth. It is almost a "th" sound, but more in between.  Anyway, the point of this is that my youngest still orders "thacos" at Mexican restaurants here.  They look at her slightly baffled, and dutifully fill her order.

Is this not a completely boring post filled with totally useless information?  Forgive me, as I've now eaten a half of a bear claw and am on my third cup of coffee.

It's a challenge for my fingers to keep up with my thoughts.

I need to do a long post about my visit to my parents last week.

It involved me being chased by two overly affectionate Angus cows when I made the mistake of carrying empty feed buckets through the pasture.

It involves communing with horny toads.  I love horny toads.  They are like little mythical looking creatures...Have you ever had one actually squirt "blood" out its eyes?  I haven't, but apparently Studmuffin ticked on off enough that when his dad took it away, his dad was rewarded with some sort of icky red secretion...

And, of course it involves horses...

Appy is officially 29 years old...

But that is a post for another day.  I will get that to you double quick!

But first, I must pack my children for a trip to their grandparents, (they proved their lack of trustworthiness after our trip last week when all they packed were brand new shoes.)

After that is accomplished we are going to do a bit of back to school shopping.

So, TTFN!  (that's TaTa for now for you non-Tigger fans.)

Cheesy Grins

I was on call Monday night. I got home from work about 6 pm. We had forgotten to set out the chicken we planned to eat for dinner. Read here: I called Studmuffin on my way to work and the conversation went as follows.

Me: Hey, Babe! I forgot to put out some chicken to thaw. Could you grab some and just get it started in the microwave, then put in the fridge before you leave for work so we can have it for dinner tonight?

Studmuffin: No problem. I'll go get it right now.

Me: Great. Remember I'm on call tonight, so try to get home by 5:30 so our nanny doesn't rebel and decide to get a job at McDonalds where she will get off on time.

Studmuffin: No problem. See you later. I gotta get the girls to the bus. Love ya.

Me: Love you too...

We always every conversation with "love you." I do that with my family too. I think it's important to say "Love you" every chance you get...

That way, when you get home and there is no meat thawed for dinner, you can remember that you love this person...The same person who left work at the same time you did, and therefore did not relieve the nanny until nearly 6 pm.

Moving on. We decided to have sandwiches. Not our usual egg sandwiches, which I highly recommend on any day at any meal. We went for lunch meat, cheese, chips and salsa.

Don't you just love how I'm too lazy to even bother to rotate this picture?

I love cheese. I got the above cheese the other day. I can't really describe the taste. It's strong. Very cheesy...But not so strong that you can taste it when you're done. I recommend it if you're looking for a change up to your sandwich routine.

Me: Do you like that Havarti cheese?

Studmuffin: It's okay. A little strong.

Me: Huh...

And, the meal continues. Bookworm eating her sandwich with turkey, cheddar, salsa, corn chips and mayo on whole wheat. Popcorn opted for a pb&j made with Jiff Natural and homemade jelly, thankyouverymuch....I was eating turkey with the Havarti cheese and mayo. I was quite pleased, if a little sad to be out of lettuce and tomato.

Suddenly, Studmuffin got a very surprised look on his face, and he pulled the following OUT OF HIS SANDWICH!!!



The lower wax paper is the portion he had left in the sandwich. I placed it with a normal piece of wax paper that was placed between the slices to keep them from sticking...

Seriously! He ate 2/3 of a piece of wax paper before he realized it was in there! "I wondered why my ham seemed to have such a thick skin on it!"

And, there was much mirth and joviality at our table. I love a good belly laugh.

When was the last time you had a good laugh till you snort bout of hilarity? Please share!

My Super Secret Recipe for Yogurt Cookies

Okay, we will start this post with a disclaimer: This recipe was born out of boredom and desperation for cookies...It is altered from an original recipe I received from a lovely woman I knew through the local used book store in Texas...I will place the original ingredients in italics out to the side, so you can do a taste test, if that floats your boat.

Yogurt Cookies

1 1/2 c sugar
2 c low fat raspberry yogurt (1 c crisco, 1 c plain yogurt & it says specifically not to use low fat or flavored)
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
4 c flour
1 tsp soda
1 tsp salt

Mix first 4 ingredients. Mix together dry ingredients and add to sugar mixture. Drop onto ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 until done, or about 10 minutes, depending on how big you make your cookies!

Icing
Softened butter ( 1 1/2 sticks)
powdered sugar (7c)
vanilla (1 Tbsp)
sprinkle of salt

Confession: Will you think less of me to learn that I never measure ingredients for icing? I just sort of mix and guesstimate until it is the right consistency/flavor for me...

Again, these cookies came out a tad spongy, but they are delicious and different nonetheless. Perfect for a cookie craving fit with only 3/4 stick of butter and no crisco to be seen in the house!

How to Perform the Heimlech Maneuver

Did you know I've actually had to rescue Popcorn from choking 4 times?

That's right, four times...

I will spare you the details of the first three, and skip to our most recent event...

The Setting: A Mexican Restaurant
The Cast of Characters:

My Father-in-law aka Tom
Mother-in-law aka Scotty
Bookworm as herself
Popcorn as herself
Studmuffin as himself
Me as, well, myself (duh)
Waitress
Manager

Restaurant is full of diners. It is a Friday night.

Seating arrangements: We are seated at a booth. Popcorn is sitting on the outside edge with Tom next to her, and Scotty on the inside. We are, obviously, seated across, with Studmuffin on the outside, then me, then Bookworm.

Opening scene: The waitress is delivering our food. Well, actually she is delivering my food, because she forgot to put in my order when she put in everyone else's and did not realize it until she had passed out all the food, and I had nuthin'...

Waitress: Here's your food ma'am. So sorry about the delay. Is there anything else I can bring you?

Studmuffin: Well, we still need those napkins. And refills for our drinks, please?

I cast my gaze across the table, seeing if there is anything else we need... I do a double take at Popcorn.

Me: Are you choking?

Popcorn: No verbal response here, she is clutching her throat, and is a scary red...

Waitress: OH MY GOSH!!! SHE IS REALLY CHOKING!!

Studmuffin is already attempting to get up, so I can help her...However, unbeknownst to me, his feet were crossed under the table, and when he went to stand, his foot got caught on the pedestal. In my mind he is S.L.O.W.L.Y. getting up. I try to gently nudge him out of the way. He continues to piddle around, so I nudged him again...Just a little nudge mind you. Certainly not a big enough nudge to result in him flying out of the booth and collapsing onto the floor. Oh, and it might be helpful, for your visual purposes to know that he still had his arm in an immobilizer...

I climbed over the top of him, and grabbed Popcorn out of the booth. I positioned her for the first abdominal thrust...

For some strange reason, when I thrust up, my feet tried to fly out from under me...

She continued to choke...

I thrust up again, and again, my feet start sliding all over the place. I can barely maintain my balance, and yet poor Popcorn's feet are flying up behind me at the same time...

Finally, after what felt like 10 minutes, but was actually only maybe 5 thrusts, it came out...

A piece of cheese enchilada. Apparently, the reason it took so much to get out was because it would start to come out after my thrust, and then she would try to gasp for air and suck it right back down!!!

I swiftly walked her to the bathroom to try and compose both her and myself. We cried. We laughed. We hugged...

We returned to the table a few minutes later, and this is the conversation that followed.

Bookworm: Mom, you should NOT have thrown Dad on the floor like that! He could have hurt his shoulder!

Me: I didn't throw him on the floor. He fell.

Studmuffin: Nope. My foot was caught and you shoved me out of the booth and onto the floor.

Me: Oh. Well, I'm sorry, but Popcorn couldn't breathe! I had to help her! (I was a tad embarrassed at the thought of throwing my one-armed husband onto the floor in a crowded restaurant.)

Studmuffin: You should have seen yourself. You were jerking Popcorn around like a rag doll, and you kept almost falling down...

Me: Yeah. What was up with that? My feet were skidding all over the place. I think this floor must need mopped. I think it's greasy or something.

Studmuffin: You knocked a glass of water off of the table when you were grabbing her. Your feet were slipping in a puddle on the floor....

So, just in case you don't get the full picture, here it was: I would do an upward thrust. My feet would fly to the side and her feet would slip behind her and end up between my legs. Kind of like those dances where the man slides the lady between his legs, only she was facing away from me. I would drag her back to standing, reposition her, do an upward thrust, and the whole process would repeat. My feet would slide our spread eagle, and her feet would fly underneath me... In addition to this, the enchilada had actually tried to come out 3 different times, but she would suck it back in when she tried to gasp for breath. I could not see this, but the question I now have is this: Why didn't anyone grab the food after that happened the first time, so she wouldn't suck it back in...

Of course, for all I know Studmuffin hadn't been able to drag himself off of the floor yet...And my in-laws were in complete shock over the spectacle I was making of myself... And the restaurant manager was standing next to the waitress, huddled in the corner behind me. Watching the entire scene in horror...But again, this is all in my peripheral vision, and my perceptions are clouded by the sheer adrenalin that was pumping through me...

Me: So. Do you think anyone was watching us?

Studmuffin, outright laughing at me now: Babe. Seriously? All conversation and motion stopped when you started jerking our poor daughter around like a rag doll. Yes. I think it's safe to say that EVERYONE was watching.

Me: Dang................... Now. I wonder if they would heat up my food? I'm starving...

And I proceeded to eat every bite of food on my plate. And so did Popcorn. If that gal isn't a nurse in the making, I don't know what is!

Comfort Food

Some time ago, I posted about my family's love of egg sandwiches. If you don't remember that post, please take a moment to go and refresh your memory. It is sure to help you understand the depth of feeling my family has for these sandwiches......

Egg sandwiches epitomize all that's good and right with the world. You see, the egg represents a new joy and happiness...The toast represents ... Well, never mind that, I have no idea where to go from here...

Okay that's a bunch of hooey, and I just made that up on the fly, which is why it was really lame...

But seriously, a good egg sandwich is just, well plain ole GOOD!!!

When I posted previously about egg sandwiches I told myself that someday I would post pictures and directions for them. You see, egg sandwiches are a staple in a house where we are frequently rushed through supper, but there is very little cash left in the dining envelope.

Another great thing about egg sandwiches is the versatility. No yolk wanted? (My girls prefer I ditch the yolk) Simply separate the egg before cooking. The yolk can be broken to spread the flavor all over, the yolk can be runny if that floats your boat, or you can scramble the eggs if you happen to have a person that explodes with horrendous toxic fumes (also known as flatulence in the medical world.)

So, without further ado, let's begin, shall we?

First you need a good cast iron skillet.

Get it hot, then melt up a few tablespoons of butter in it. I've been using EVOO lately since Studmuffin has been careful with his cholesterol. I don't really notice any difference in flavor.


Drop your egg in and scramble, fry or whatever you want. Bookworm preferred an egg in a basket the day I took these photos, so you can see it cooking too.

What is an egg in a basket? Simply take a piece of bread and tear a hole in the middle. Place it in a skillet with melted butter and drop an egg in the middle. Wait a few minutes and flip it. Top with S&P to taste and serve it up hot!


But, returning to egg sandwiches : If you want, you can fry up some lunch meat if you happen to have any in the fridge. Place the egg on a slice of toast, then a slice of cheese if you want. Again, Studmuffin is foregoing cheese a lot lately too. His life isn't very exciting lately. Next place your ham or turkey, or if you're really a rebel you can put some bacon on it. I accept no responsibility for your cholesterol levels if you choose the latter. Top it with a second piece of toast.

Studmuffin and Popcorn always add mustard to their sandwiches. I'm not so crazy about that, but again, the beauty of this is you can make it to please yourself!


So, go! Make yourself some comfort food! Enjoy a delicious home cooked meal that's ready in minutes! We like to eat ours with a glass of milk and a bunch of grapes or some other fruit. Of course, potato chips are a good side too, but the extra salt is probably not your friend.

The State Fair

Who doesn't love the state fair?

We took the girls last Monday evening to the fair. They had a great time.....

Speaking of loving the state fair:

Don't you hate, hate, hate the midway? "Winner Winner! Every kid is a winner!"

"Please, please mommy can we play a game?"

"Okay, but only 2 games each." We approach the balloon/dart game...

"Every kid is a winner ma'am! How many chances would you like to buy? It's 3 darts for $5 or 7 for $10!"

"Your sign says 3 for $2...."

"They sign means nothing, ma'am. EVERY KID IS A WINNER! WINNER, WINNER!"

"Please, mommy! I want to play a game!" We had been perusing the midway for several minutes, and I had already realized that every game was a minimum of $5...But still, how hard is it to cover an old sign with stuffed toys?

"Okay..." Turning to the midway worker dude (that sounds more p.c. than carney, don't ya think?) "I'll take 3 chances please."

"Are you sure ma'am? You can get 7 chances for $10!"

"Well, didn't you say that every kid is a winner?"

"Yes, ma'am...WINNER!!! WINNER!!! EVERY KID IS A WINNER!!"

"So, I think we'll stick with 3 darts..."

The kids rode the swings. They wasted money touring haunted houses and crazy factories, where half of the stuff didn't work....

We toured the barns and looked at all the different breeds of goats. We admired the Clydesdale horses...We went to a sad sea lion show with a giant blow up pool...

We ate chicken on a stick, corn dogs, chili dogs, and funnel cakes fresh from the grease with powdered sugar blowing all over our faces and clothes. We looked like we had powdered sugar freckles! We debated Indian tacos, but the wind was really blowing, and since every item purchased was being sampled 4 ways around, we figured most of the toppings would be gone with the wind, so we resisted. Then, Gentle Reader, I took the ultimate plunge. I splurged on a calorie mecca that I had been hearing about and seeing for a few years, but never felt it was worth the extra dimples in my thighs....I gravitated to the fried candy bar stand...They had fried Snickers, Oreos, and Twinkies.

The kind lady informed me that the Oreos were the best way to go. So, I ponied up five more bucks, and she blessed me with 8 Oreos, since there were 4 of us (the price included only 5.) She sprinkled them with powdered sugar then drizzled them with hot fudge. The breading was similar to funnel cake batter. It may have been funnel cake batter...

All I know is this: I literally moaned in delight. They were a calorie laden, fat swimmin', mecca of deliciousness. They were totally worth it. Would I do it more than once a year? Heck no. But will I buy them next year at the fair? You betcha...

After we had gorged ourselves on fried delights, we toured the various barns and made our way over to Centennial plaza. The Wild West Show was due to start at 7pm. We were very excited. The show was so cheesy, it was sad. They had some amazing animal acts, but they tried to tie them into Oklahoma's history, and the various phases of our past. Yes, the Indian dancers were great. I loved their costumes. Even this one who looked like he had a turkey growing out his butt...
As you can see, I didn't bring a camera. I didn't want to carry anything. In fact, I had even stuffed my cash in my bra. After we got there, I was afraid my short pockets were too baggy and gappy, so the bra was my only back up...But, back to the topic at hand.

I enjoyed the Indian who rode his horses through flames, and had them do all sorts of awkward things that is so counter to their nature...Very interesting, but again the dialogue was so cheesy, it was hard not to chuckle.

Then, they had this cowboy ride in on 2 Brahma bulls. Yep. Two Brahma bulls. This was done to signify traveling through the desert. The first bull died this slow agonizing death resulting in him lying on his side, all 4 legs out stiff, and his head bent back and over his shoulder. That bull did not even twitch. Then, in another dramatic death sequence the cowboy and other bull died draped over the first bull. That was pretty amazing. But again....Weird scenario.

Okay. Then they had a group of square dancers. People, I can square dance better than these poor people did. Their caller got mixed up, and you could tell they would expect one thing, but he'd call another, then they'd all get mixed up. It was so sad. I felt so sorry for them. Sad, sad, sad.

The show also had trick riders, trick ropers, and even a guy on a unicycle with a trick rope and a whip that he could use to snap cards out of the air...This with the wind blowing! Very entertaining!

But the very best part was the shoot out. Popcorn and Bookworm laughed and cackled and they were literally holding their stomachs at these fellows' antics. They had great slap stick comedy. Don't you miss slap stick? It made me miss Dick Van Dyke, Carol Burnett, and Lucille Ball shows...

It was truly a good time. We left exhausted, yet keyed up...with empty pockets. But, the kids loved it. I loved it. I got to see all the freaks of nature that seem to congregate at fairs mingling with the common folk. You see people from all walks of life, and it is amazing to me how they all come together to dump inconceivable amounts of money into an evening of entertainment and food...For that small amount of time that we are all at the fair, we are all the same with the same goal in mind: Spend all of your money with nothing to show for it, and eat that special food that you can only get at the fair...Sweet corn with the husk still hanging off...Giant corn dogs...Fresh funnel cakes...Indian tacos...Cinnamon rolls...Barbecue...And all of it made fresh right before your eyes.

Yum. I can't wait for next year.

Hey! Did I happen to mention that I LOVE fair food?

Issues

I need to blog...

I'm sure my loyal public is disappointed with my poor blogging lately...

I'm just sorta dry...

I start to blog.

I try to think.

Then my brain freezes up; My fingers tremble and my upper lip starts to sweat, and my eyes start to quiver...And that's it. I halfheartedly start a draft, then I walk away...

But today at work, I became determined to post a blog tonight. What with running from point A to point B, scrambling to complete one piece of paper before dashing off to help someone start an IV, and I was tired, and cranky...

Then I had to run to the CT department to discharge a patient for them...

And, God Himself smiled down on me. I got there, and the patient had to wait on their films. And it was one of my friend's last day...Someone had brought cupcakes to say goodbye. Since I couldn't slap my patient and wheelchair and send her on her merry way, I had to stop. I had to wait. I had to stop. And eat. A banana cupcake with butter cream icing.

And for those 5 minutes of waiting, all was right with the world.

Amen.

Turned out that was a good thing, because if not for that cupcake I would not have gotten a single crumb of sustenance for the whole shift. Go ahead. Pity me. Feel sorry for my poor, under nourished soul...My poor, hungry, tired, cranky soul...

Why was I tired? Why was I cranky? Well, Gentle Reader. It is a sad tale. Very sad indeed.

Did you know I have a sister? Well, actually I have 2 sisters. But only one sister is to blame for my suffering. MY SUFFERING, I tell you.

Dawn. Dawn is the perpetrator of this torment I've been suffering. Did you know that I used to feel sorry for her? Oh, yes. I did. I pitied her. She used to tell me of her inability to sleep. She would tell me stories of being awake in the middle of the night for no particular reason, other than perhaps it was somehow related to her...shall we say...cycle? I always felt so sorry for her, even as I silently breathed a sigh of relief that I did not suffer from such an affliction.

Have I ever mentioned how alike Dawn & I are in some aspects? Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not a cleaner, organizer, researcher like she is. But we have other traits that we share (other than the obvious outward resemblance.) We both got glasses & braces in 7th grade. Yep, the ugliest, most awkward year of most kids life was amplified by the addition of glasses and braces... As a matter of fact, any time she makes a complaint about certain things, like her hair, her skin, whatever, I inwardly flinch, because I know that as she ages, she is dragging me right along with her.

So. You can guess what happened, can't you? For the last year, I have developed insomnia for about 4 consecutive nights of every month. I did not sleep through the night from Sunday night until Wednesday night. Last night I actually slept from 10:30pm until 5am. The other 4 nights I woke up nearly every hour. I would lie there awake, unwilling to climb out of bed. I was afraid the tv or internet would stimulate me, and make my insomnia worse. I didn't dare start a book. I'm famous for cracking a book and staying up all night to finish it. Tuesday at 3:30 am, I was seriously considering getting out of bed and sweeping & mopping. But, I finally fell asleep. To wake up with my alarm at 5am.

Today, I was so dad gum tired, that it took all of my energy to keep a thin veneer of cheerfulness in place. And we all know who to blame. Dawn.

Dawn is to blame.

And that is all I have to say about that.

Now. I'm going to bed. I plan to sleep. I plan to sleep the entire night.

So help me, if one of my precious offspring so much as lets out a whimper of "Mommy," I am physically kicking Studmuffin out of bed. Yes I am. I am going to take my feet, and shove his rump out of the bed and onto the floor. Do not doubt it for even one eensy teensy second.

Good day and good night Gentle Reader...

You are what you eat.

I'm determined not to cook this week. That has been hindered by my first round of green beans from the garden. They looked so good, I ate a few raw...They were delish. It is also hindered by the fresh zucchini my neighbor gave me. (I saw him out in his yard this morning when I was working in my garden, and casually dropped in for a visit. It's okay to visit your neighbors before 7 am if they are outside, right? Where is Emily Post when you need her?) I never got around to planting any zucchini or squash, but my Grandma Irene always said, "Never leave your windows down in the summer. Someone will come and unload their squash on you."

One time I called her while I was in the store. We had just moved, it was summer, so of course I had no fresh squash. She said, "You know you must not have a friend in the world if you have to buy squash in the summer!"

Thank you Grandma. That made me feel much better about moving.

Anyway, last night Studmuffin had to help a friend with his boat. At a lake. And it somehow involved poles, tackle boxes, and smelling like fish when he got home....So he didn't need fed.

In my refusal to cook, I decided to eat a fresh peach and some cottage cheese at about 4:30. I had only had one slice of pizza for lunch. Anyone who knows me at all knows that is barely a snack for me. I eat like a farmhand, even though I'm not one anymore. At about 6 I was starving again. So, I warmed up some leftover taco meat and made some nachos. At about 7 I had a fudge pop and a vanilla ice cream miniature from Schwann's (it's like their Schwann's signature ice cream bar only smaller and only 60 calories.) Then around 8 I had to fight down the munchies beast again, but ended up crumbling and eating a spoonful of Smucker's Natural Extra Crunchy peanut butter.

I don't know...But I'm thinkin' I'd have been better served to just fix myself some dinner and be done with it instead of grazing all night long.

Progress note: I haven't gotten everything done that I hoped while the girls were gone. I did get a book read. And I floated in the pool for 2 hours. But alas, neither of those tasks lead me to completion of my "to do" list. Today, I have to get cracking....

Without any AC. Ours quit last night. I'm waiting to hear from the repair people. Thankfully it's under warranty until July 3rd. FYI: It's supposed to be 90 degrees by 9am, with a high of 100. Yikes. Maybe I'll end up going shopping with the money I'm not making since I'm on vacation this week....

Chocolate Malts

The cure-all from my grandma was a chocolate malt. I was reminded of this last Friday. I was leaving work, and a man had Braum's in the break room. He was eating a cheeseburger, crinkle cut fries and had a chocolate malt with strawberries and bananas in it. I started obsessing about a chocolate malt on the spot. So, after I got the girlie-ohs from school we went to Braum's where I indulged my fantasy. It was divine.

My mom worked at the school when I was growing up. She drove the bus and worked as a teacher's aide during the school day. The principal she worked for would not let her have sick days. I remember one time I threw up in the hall, and Mr. Mills, the assistant principal took me home because my grandma was unable to come get me. The principal himself took me home one time because there was no way to get me home. That was a trip I shudder to remember! I can assure you, I was really sick if I had to ride home with them. I think I would have suffered through if it was at all possible.

However, the best times were when I was sick, and maybe not as sick as I could have been....My grandma would drive the 26 miles to town and get me. She usually had to make a stop before we could go home....at the drug store. The drug store complete with a soda shop. It was just like the ones you picture in old movies..they had all sorts of wonderful things you never knew you needed. They had toys, makeup, jewelry, cards, home decorations, medication (of course), and best of all A SODA FOUNTAIN! Grandma always got us each a chocolate malt. Yum...I thought I satisfied the craving, but thinking about those chocolate malts shared with my grandma make me crave one all over again....

Of course thinking of my grandma also makes me crave canned tomato soup, Totino's frozen pizzas, and chocolate cupcakes. The cupcakes were actually from scratch, and she was known to make these for supper. She also makes egg noodles that are to die for. And broccoli cheese and rice casserole. And deviled eggs. Pea salad (okay this may not sound good, but if you saw the quantity of cheese in it you'd understand). Oatmeal cookies. A never ending supply of snack size Snickers. Werthers. Brach's butterscotch candies...Oh, I could go on and on...But I think I just gained 5 pounds thinking about it! Sadly, not one healthy food reminds me of my grandma.

Go to your local Braum's and get a chocolate malt today! You'll thank me for it. I PROMISE!!

Post Note: I'm sorry for any of you who do not have a Braum's where you can partake of their fabulous ice cream and dairy story. I feel your pain. I lived apart from Braum's for nearly 4 years. It was a sad, dark period...but we are now happily reunited. Thank goodness.

Today Studmuffin and I had our annual physicals...Yuck is all I have to say about that. To treat ourselves after the violations that we shall not speak of in bloggerland we went to eat. Fatty, salty, triple decker BLT for the stud with high blood pressure and suggested lifestyle changes. A Taos turkey sandwich for me.

What is a Taos turkey sandwich you ask? Well, I'm gonna tell you...And you will want to go make you one right away!

Fresh homemade bread
Turkey breast
Red onions
Lettuce
Tomato
Bacon
Cranberries
Cream cheese

Oh dear. It is so good, your taste buds will be shouting hallelujah choruses. I'm tellin' ya, next time you've been sorely abused by your primary care provider I can highly recommend this sandwich to cure what ails you.

Did I mention that I could have had fresh homemade sweet potato fries? I was strong. I resisted. Barely. Then when we were paying the display of desserts (all made fresh in the diner) was to die for. Studmuffin refused to share a hello dolly with me, or a giant cinnamon roll. So, again I resisted. But only because Studmuffin was being a party pooper.

Blessed

I drug my pitiful self to church last night. We were having a concert, and I went out of guilt...you know...show support and all of that...

Isn't it great how God decides to bless obedience even when we aren't doing it joyfully? In fact, I was so non-joyful, that I spent 10 minutes looking for my keys, screamed in frustration and dumped my nursing bag out, still didn't find them, stomped around the house, and ended up finding them in my purse which I had apparently transferred my billfold, planner and KEYS to when I got home from work....(And yes, my children laughed at me.)But I went to the concert when I didn't want to and God blessed me. I cried. It was so beautiful. I sat next to a friend who kept asking "Honey, are you okay?" I was wonderful. I came home refreshed and renewed.

AND remember me lamenting about wanting TexMex? Well, they're having Mexican pile on at church tonight, and that's the next best thing, and it will only cost $8 to feed the whole family. Woo-hoo! While this meal will not completely satisfy my longing, it will definitely tamp down the beast.

I am blessed because I have a God who wants to give me pleasure...even in small ways like providing me with a Mexican food fix. Amen.

Where were you when....

So, don't you always remember exactly where you were when historic events happened? I do. I'm usually at work. I usually miss the historic events because I'm taking care of patients...

The millennium? I was at work, trying to save a patient who was having a heart attack...I had taken care of this gentleman the Thanksgiving and Christmas before the millennium, and he'd had a heart attack each night. No kidding. He finally ended up having a bypass surgery that he had less than 20 percent chance of surviving....and he did survive! I got to take care of him after it, and sent him to a rehab hospital with his lovely wife who had rheumatoid arthritis of her hands, so she was unable to help him transfer from the bed to the wheelchair...Oh! I think I forgot to mention he was a brittle diabetic with end stage kidney disease and he had both legs amputated. I wasn't actually too thrilled with him having surgery, but he survived, went to rehab, and as far as I know lived a healthier life, at least cardiac wise. Anyway, the night of the millennium I took care of him I seem to remember he stabilized long enough for me to watch the fireworks in downtown Fort Worth and drink sparkling apple cider with my coworkers from a comatose patient's room... Aren't nurses morbid?

The tornado through downtown Fort Worth? I was at work, and I COULD have watched it out a window if I hadn't been frantically moving my patients into the hallway, and then sitting at the bedside of a ventilator dependent patient who was coherent and scared to death. I would have been too, but I was too busy worrying about the patients to really absorb what was happening.

The inauguration of President Obama? I was at work...Only this time I was stuck in the cave known as the radiology department assisting a radiologist do a biopsy on a mass in a man's neck. The poor man has been living with pain in his left neck and arm for months. The man had previously had renal cancer, and it looks like on our CT scant that it has metastasized to the bone. The mass on his neck is eating into his ribs and causing his pain. Of course, I couldn't tell him this, that is up to his doctor....But I could pray with him, and I did. It was sad.

So, I have a new LIFE resolution...I don't want to be at work when anything historic happens...It seems to lead to stressful, and sad situations.

Boy, was that post depressing or what?

Want to know what's worse? Being sad makes me want TexMex...and it's hard to find good TexMex around here...So I'm stuck grilling fish instead. Bummer. I think I'll drown my sorrows in a can of chocolate covered potato chips.

*After reading what I just blogged, I feel compelled to say, yes, I still love being a nurse. But some days I hate it. Some days I wonder why I love this job. I think it's because I CAN make a difference in a patient's life when they are scared, sad, and unsure what is coming for them. They often don't have a diagnosis yet. Or, they may be looking into treatment for the diagnosis that they do have. But either way it's scary and uncertain. I have the privilege to care for them in this time. I get to pray with them, joke with them, and hopefully make them feel better if only in that moment that they are in my care. I get to remind them, and myself, that we have a God who loves us, who has a plan for all of us, and that He works everything for the good of those who love Him and are called to His purpose. I often pray those very words over them. I pray for his peace that transcends our human understanding. I pray for a quick diagnosis, a successful procedure, and healing. That is the privilege I have in being a Christian and having a God who listens to me, and allows me to take part in his work. That is why I love my job...Even though today I hated it.

I also love when I find a giant stack of Watchtower magazines in our waiting area and get the pleasure of SLAMMING them into the recycle bin. Shhhh....Don't tell anyone!

Where's the BEEF?

In my freezer! HOORAY! We've been beef deprived since we moved here from Texas. We had this great little grocery store with a butcher in it, and I always bought my meat there. I loved it. It was just like you see in "So I Married an Axe Murderer." I would walk in and actually point at the exact piece of meat I wanted. And they wrapped it up on the spot. Now, to many of you, this is no big deal, but to others of you, who have lived in metropolitan areas, like me, you understand the privilege this was. The ground meat was not in some weird spaghetti looking pattern, packed with oxygen to keep it pink, and then sealed with plastic wrap. You can never get rid of that spaghetti texture...it makes terrible burgers...but I've digressed....

I have BEEF! Thanks to my fabulous parents who gave us beef for Christmas. YEAH! We can now eat tacos, and lasagna, and chili....And so much more!

Hey, here's a great idea for leftover taco meat (I actually eat it this way from the start.) Mix it with a bag of lettuce (I seriously can eat about half a bag for lunch) stir in some salsa, and maybe a smidgen of ranch dressing, and you have taco salad! But real taco salad without tons of calories...It tastes great...try it! Of course there's tons of other stuff you can stir in, but this is the most calorie efficient way.

Speaking of calories....Remember we bought a new car? And how does this relate to calories you ask? Patience, you know I must chase rabbits to get to my point...The dealership we bought our Outlook from sent us a package....

OF CHOCOLATE COVERED POTATO CHIPS!!!!!

No joke. The are to die for. There's dark chocolate, milk chocolate, and white fudge....They each came in a tube, like Pringles, and they're Pringle-like chips too. Yum-O! I ate four of them before I even started to reheat my leftover chili for lunch today. Yes, there was a moment of self-loathing afterward...but it was worth it!

Hey, someday I'll do a post on those egg sandwiches I mentioned the other day, but I want to pretend I'm Pioneer Woman, and do pics and everything, which will probably lead to me burning something, which may make the possibility of that post scant...but keep an eye out for it! I don't actually think they're all that special, but it is a great idea for a quick cheap dinner for the family when you're in a hurry and yet still want to eat a sit-down meal with the fam!