He's Still Workin' On Me!

Remember this children's song?

It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
the sun and the moon and Jupiter and Mars.
La la la I don't remember all the words!
But He's still workin' on me.

You don't remember it?  Strange.  Especially considering how thoroughly I just described it to you!

Well, it took Bookworm just a few days to make her solar system. Her daddy used all of the self restraint he possessed and lent minimal assistance.  I assure you this was a very big challenge considering this is the same man who once declared:  We will NOT have a red back splash.  It is too much work to paint the red evenly!

And then I promised to paint the bead board.

And so he agreed...I painted maybe two square feet of primer on the bead board, and he looked at me and said:  Give me the brush.  You are not doing it evenly.

It was primer for the love of Pete!  I didn't realize it NEEDED to be even!

So, he let her do all but a small bit of the work...

And this is the result!

Oh wait!  That's not the result!  Dag nab it!  My secret it is out.  But, hey do you see the lovely little fall display I have buried next to Popcorn's jacket their on the right?  Chesney actually leaves that thing alone.  Now that the scarecrow is gone, that is.  She is quite determined to eat every scare crow she encounters.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has a mysterious explosion of shoes, socks, jackets, lunch bags and back packs every single day.

Please?

Tell me I'm not alone.

Mind you, this is not the solar system either.  This is just an example of puppy paraphernalia strewn threw the living room while the culprits lay in blissful slumber.  I am just wondering when I lost complete control of my house.  Do you realize that when my kids were babies my house was spotless?  It was!  Truly!  I was a cleaning and cooking machine!  Every single day I mopped and ran the vacuum.  I washed dried and folded laundry promptly.  I cooked dinner nearly every single night..in fact it was usually completely prepared except for the actual cooking by 3:30 while the girls napped... and I vowed to never let my kids sully their palates with carbonated beverages, high fructose corn syrup or french fries...

I have failed in nearly all of those endeavors in the past eight years.  Of course I snapped out of the post partum depression about eight years ago...  My housework has slowly slipped down hill ever since.

Who knew post partum had an up side?

Why lookie there!  I finally got around to showing a picture of the solar system!  And nary a mess is in sight!

Who says my house is a complete and utter disaster?

Three words:  Location, angle, and sweep (as in your arm across the counter to pile all clutter against your lovely red backsplash.)

Here's another view.  If you click on the photo and enlarge it, you will see that there are two more planets than there used to be in my day.  Yep, that little tiny dwarf planet on the far right is Eris.  And the little brown dwarf planet in the asteroid belt is Ceres...And not only does Saturn have rings, but so do Jupiter, Neptune and Uranus...Uranus and Neptune's rings are made out of thin sheets of plastic she cut to fit then wrapped around the planets.  She is clever, no?

And here's the clever girl herself posing for "just one picture" before heading off to school.  Good thing this turned out as she was quite adamant about the one picture only.

She gets that from her dad's side of the family, I'm sure.

This picture is purely gratuitous.  I wonder what on earth Chesney is dreaming of?

That is Just so Granola

I remember when I was in a clinical rotation at a Columbia Hospital in Arlington.  I don't remember the entire gist of the conversation, but I do remember one of the nurses looked at me and said with a look of utter disdain "Your school is just so granola."

I was young and idealistic and had no idea what she was talking about...

As I got out of the ivory tower of nursing school and in to the real world, I realized what she meant.  However, I also remember how jaded and bitter every single nurse that I encountered at that hospital was.  Seriously, they all hated their jobs.  How sad.  That is the only hospital where I had nurses tell me, "Change your major while you still can."

 I think perhaps if they had a puppy napping on their kitchen floor while they provided nourishing food for their family, their cranky factor may have decreased...


If you know anything about me, this post began as expected...Completely unrelated to the point of the post...Just random thoughts that were circling my brain as I was involved in the endeavor this post truly relates to:

GRANOLA!!

Color me excited!

I have a friend at work who occasionally brings oatmeal bars to work.  His mother makes them, and they make him think of the Oatmeal to Go bars by Quaker.  I love those bars.  I do not love the price involved with them, since they never last more than a day.

I asked him for the recipe, and he brought it to me.  I joyfully tackled it last week.  I have tweaked the recipe to suit our family's tastes, but the bare bones of the original are still there.

The beauty of this recipe is that it assembles in mere minutes, requires only two bowls and a spatula to assemble, and it is good for you!

So, without further ado, here it is!

Molasses Oatmeal Bars

In a large bowl combine:

2 c old fashioned oats
3/4 c flour
3/4 tsp soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
1/4 c brown sugar
1/2 c chopped pecans
1/4 c sunflower seeds
1/3 c toasted wheat germ
1/2 c golden raisins





In a small bowl combine:
1/2 c vegetable oil
1/2 c honey
3 Tbsp molasses (spray your spoon with vegetable spray to make it slide off easily)
1 large egg









Add the molasses/honey mixture to your oat mixture.  Simply stir this with your favorite red spatula.  I promise, red spatulas work best!  I am so convinced of  this fact that I own three red spatulas and one lime green...The lime green, while it is visibly appealing, just does not seem to do the job properly.  Therefore all reliable research indicates that red spatulas work best!

Use the back of your red spatula to spread and press firmly the granola mix into a greased 9x13 pan.  Will you hold it against me if I tell you that I used my 9x11 pan because I still had a few bars left in my 9x13 from a previous batch?  I just couldn't be bothered to take out the last three bars and then wash and dry the pan...

Place in preheated 350 degree oven and bake 18-22 minutes.  Remove when edges are starting to brown.  Let cool on wire rack about 90 minutes before cutting...

Enjoy!

Oh!  Are you wondering what that little peek of blue orb is on the right side?  Well, that just happens to be Popcorn's solar system model.  That will be a post for another day.  I tried to take a clever photo of the granola bars with her solar system in the background...

However in that same background you could see my three bags of recyclables lying on the dining room floor so I would not neglect to drop them off in the morning...And you could see the piles of crafty stuff on my dining room table...Not to mention the piles of junk I "need to sort through" on our hutch.

That was just clearly too much clutter to include in one post...

I mean I'm all about being real, but even I have limits!

So, when I deem the background tidy enough to show you pictures of the solar system I will post photos of her masterpiece...Granted the background will be tidy while everything outside of it may very well be chaos.

But I'm totally okay with that!

And Then I Saw These Shoes...

We are going camping in the near future.

At a lake...

And every year when we go camping my youngest gets her shoes wet.  I know!!  It is shocking.

In the not so distant past she asked me for rain boots.  "She doesn't need rain boots.  It doesn't rain here," her dad stated quite sternly.

Have I ever mentioned that man is the rain on my parade?

Anyway, as I began making my list of camping necessities (last year we forgot our skillet.  Try cooking eggs and bacon with no skillet, I challenge you.  I ended up having to bum my brother's electric skillet off of him...Which if you understood anything at all about my brother you would see the sheer irony in HIM having something that I needed to borrow.)

Did I just digress?  Imagine that!

So, I was making a list.  I made a note that perhaps I should buy socks as Bookworm only has about four pair that fit properly, and there is nothing worse than wet feet...

Which made me wish we had rain boots for the girls...

Which led me to nagging my husband to let me BUY rain boots for the girls...

Which led me to checking out Target.com for boots and Halloween gear...

Which led me to finding Bookworm's Wednesday Addams costume for twelve bucks, and Popcorn's Indian costume for $20...I only needed to spend $18 more to get free shipping...

Of course I decided to throw in two pairs of rain boots.  However, as I went to check out, I realized the boots may not get here in time...

So, I removed the boots from my list and instead ordered Popcorn a super cute pair of winter boots that are only $8 more than I was going to have to pay in shipping if I did not buy them...

Of COURSE I bought them!

Sadly, I sitll did not have rain boots....

I loaded Popcorn in the car and drug her to Goodwill...Where she was horrified at the used shoe smell and racks of clothes organized by color...

Sadly, Goodwill did not have my Morticia costume, or even a black witch dress I could improvise with, and they did not have one single pair of rain boots...

We headed to Target...Except before going into Target I decided to run in to TJ Maxx and see what they had to offer...

No, they did not have rain boots for children.  But they did have a cute sweater dress for Bookworm and a lovely sweater for Popcorn and an adorable black pea coat with hot pink lining for Popcorn!  As she pointed out her current coat is from first grade.  Now that she's in fourth grade, she apparently thinks she needs one that actually reaches past her forearms.  She is just so needy.

We meandered over to the fitting rooms to try on a variety of shirts for Popcorn, and Popcorn was even trying Bookworm's dress to see how it might fit on her sister...

 As you can see, our guess was pretty good!  I think I may have to forbid her wearing it due to she looks entirely too grown up in it!  Of course, if I do perchance crumble and let her wear it, she will be wearing leggings and knee boots.  Which will probably only add to the grown up look, but at least she won't look like she's wearing a mini dress with those long skinny legs!  Can't have my daughter trampin' around at eleven years old, now can we?

We decided on the clothes and as we left my eye caught sight of these:

They were only $49!!!  These Dansko's sell for like $150!  Granted, I'd been saving for a pair of Barefoot Merrel's, but I simply had to buy these! 

And so I did.

Oh, and for anyone who may not realize:  These are for work.  Considering I'm weary of wearing the required navy blue scrubs every. single. day.  I'm quite excited to have something with definite personality to wear! 
  
After splurging on unplanned purchases we dashed on in to Target where I bought the two pairs of rain boots the girls had picked out online...

By the way, did I mention that I was doing all of this on a tight schedule?

Did you know that people tend to spend more and impulse buy more when they are on a tight schedule?

And to think that before I left the house today I was stoked that I was actually going to have cash left in the clothing envelope this month!

Oh, and here's an image of Barefoot Merrells.  Yes, they are purely frivolous.  Which is why I've been yearning but not buying them for nearly a year now.  They look and feel exactly like my high school track shoes...Which is perhaps why I want them, but I'm not really sure I have any glamor associated with track...Click here to read about my illustrious history as a track star.  But, even if you can't be bothered to read about my humiliations, here's a picture of the shoes I'm unsuccessfully saving for!

You Can Stop Worrying About Oliver

 Why look at that pretty little thing!  Isn't it cute how her the way her hair grows on her snout makes it look like it's wet?

We had friends over for dinner last Saturday night.

After the OU game of course because we do not have a large TV, and I do not watch sports.  I take naps or chat during sports.  The talking has lead to the loss of two friends...At least I assume it was the talking during sports events as these two friends invited me to a girls night during an OU game, but were annoyed when I talked in the car while the game was on.

Seriously.

They have not asked me to a single event since...

Moving on.

So, we had friends over AFTER the game.  We celebrated a victory with Mexican pile on.  (There's never a bad time for Mexican.)  And then we celebrated an even more with a rousing game or 5 of Sequence.  (Our lives are on the cutting edge of excitement, I'm tellin' ya!)

We had to play five games as the winner had to be best of five....

The ladies won.  Of course...

It was pouring rain on Saturday night.  /this meant that four fifths of our menagerie was in the house...

Kittens in the doll strollers.

Kelsey in her bed.

And Chesney all over the place.

My friend said, "I never see Oliver."  I told her not to worry because although it had been pouring rain a good portion of the day, I had seen him a few minutes before their arrival strolling down the street.  Dry as a bone.  "Oliver goes where Oliver wants to go."

Kelsey is forever going to be raising young.

Wednesday I had the day off.  After taking the girls to school, I came home to do some much needed housework...And instead wasted two hours trying to figure out how to hook my DVD recorder to record off of our TV.  We ditched Dish, and are officially on antenna TV.  While this is no skin off of my back, it is a problem for Survivor.  Sure I can watch it the next day on my computer, but that screen is even smaller than our TV!

Anyway, I finally realized that our DVD recorder is so old, it simply can't recognize the channels, and I would need to get a converter box for it to be able to record digital TV.

Dang the government and their insistence on wasting tax dollars by requiring all TV be digital.


But the point of this post is not my lack of ability to record Survivor since that heathen network moved Survivor to WEDNESDAY after ten years of being on THURSDAY and I am in choir on Wednesday...

The point is that I realized on Saturday that people the world over are obviously chewing their fingers to the bone worrying about Oliver and his well being. 

"What does he think of Chesney?" 

"How has he handled the kittens?" 

"Did his hair grow back to it's former glory after you brutally shaved him for the summer?"

Oliver decided to come in the house on Wednesday.  He came in right before Chesney came in.

Chesney gamboled over to him with greetings of cheer and puppy licks.  He smacked her firmly in the face about four times.  She let out a giant yelp and ran away...

And he laid down on the tile and took a nap.

And there he remained until I woke him with my workout.  He got up, glared at me, and sauntered over to Kelsey's bed where he laid down.  And took another nap...

Well, after my defeat at the hands of a DVD recorder, I was so emotionally and mentally exhausted, I decided I needed a nap myself!  I forced myself to put away the five loads of laundry I had folded on the couch, turned the Netflix on to Wallace and Grommett, and laid down for a nap of my own. (After all, I needed a place to lie down for my nap!)

I woke up to find Oliver napping in the love seat catty corner to me.  (Catty corner.  Heheh.  I crack me up.)

I finally kicked him out when I went to pick the girls up for school, over 6 hours since he had first strolled through the garage door.

So, clearly April and the rest of his fans the world over can rest easy.  You need not worry about the safety and well being of Mr. Flufferpants.  He seems to be holding his own.

And Then It Happened.

I just read a post over at Best of Fates.  I recently discovered her.  Can I say she's hilarious?

Anyway, Megan posted pictures of her jumping on a big platform thingy...

And she was mocking herself about falling down.  Isn't it always the MOST fun to laugh at people who are laughing at themselves?

Anyway, all I could think of was "Wow.  I really need to pee.  If I was jumping up and down right now, I'd totally pee my pants."

And then I remembered that today at work I was giving a puny cough on my way to the break room...One of my coworkers joked about it.  I said, "Well, I've needed to go pee for like two hours and finally have time, so I don't dare cough too hard."

And then I remembered that this affliction is all my sister's fault.  Many many moons ago before the time of my child bearing, Dawn said, "Stop it!  You're making me laugh so hard, I'm going to wet my pants!"  And I laughed because I had heard that saying but never really understood that it was a real thing.  Nor did I understand that my sister could suffer from such a horrific malady.

And then she said, "Just wait until you have kids.  I am so going to laugh at you."

And then she did.

Getting Voluntold

Let's begin with a definition, shall we?

 

Voluntold:  v Being volunteered for something by a spouse or significant other that you were totally unaware of.

Example:  My wife voluntold me that I was going to coach our sons soccer team.

 

On Friday I was sitting in our break room hating myself and enjoying a cinnamon roll.  Hating myself for the wasted empty calories, but relishing the rich ooey gooey goodness with a stout cup of black of coffee.

Our doctor came into the break room with a soda in his hand and a to go box from the doctor's dining hall.  "I am going to have to leave.  My wife just called and I need to go home and get her then bring her back to the ER."

"Oh no!  Is she okay?"

"She's fine, but she called me crying because her back hurts so bad.  She never cries.  She's been complaining a back pain for a few days, but now it's unbearable.  I walked to work today, so I have to go home then drive her here."

I immediately said, "Do you want a ride home?"

 

"Would you do that? It's only about five blocks.  Is your car near by?"

My coworker Jared said, "It's just in the south garage."  We all park within a small range of each other, and there is a bridge that leads from the garage to an entrance one floor below our department.

"I would really appreciate that," and Dr. G continued to look directly at me.  Probably because I was the one who offered to give him a ride...

 

I promptly turned to Jared who was standing just behind me and gave him a look...

Jared only betrayed his start by a small blink.  He immediately said, "I think I have my keys on me, but let me grab my wallet."  

When Jared returned to work later that afternoon I said, "Sorry I just voluntold you to take Dr. G to get his wife.  But I figured guys should drive guys..."

He laughed and said, "No problem.  I caught on pretty quick when you turned and gave me the look.  I'm not always so quick.  Then when I dropped Dr. G off in front of his apartment he said, 'You are waiting and will drive us right back?'  Suuuure!"  

Poor Jared.  He was voluntold to chauffeur the doctor to his house by me, then voluntold by the doctor to act as ambulance service for the doctor's wife!

By the way:  Last I heard she was okay.  Probably kidney stones. Ouch.

Good Morning Sunshine

Chesney has added an entire new level of busy to my morning.

Of course I've decided to compensate for this new level of busyness by hitting snooze on my alarm three times every morning...

Because I'm all that's wise and prepared.

Wouldn't you just love a recap of my Friday morning?

Well, I won't go into extended detail, (at least I'll try to not go into extended detail but that is very hard for me.)

But point one is this:  When Chesney scratches at a door, even if it's the cabinet door in the kitchen it may perhaps mean that she needs to go potty. The whimper should have perhaps been my second clue to this situation.

Also, although I may consider myself all that is wise and timely, and even if I have allotted ten extra minutes in my morning to do a quick review of spelling and science with Popcorn for her exams, if I dash outside to check the dog bowl for water, I must also check the ground.

Because it is apparently inevitable that I will step in fresh puppy poo and track it all the way from the back door to the kitchen.

Blast!

So much for ten extra minutes in my morning!