Or at least it's an important Family Service Announcement. But, really, the ramifications of this occurrence cannot be fully determined at this time. The cloud of green haze that must surely be emanated from the source cannot be good for our precious earth. It is definitely not safe for human olfactory bulbs. What is this heinous substance that has caused me such concern that I would waste precious blog space to address it? What toxic waste could be invading my family's olfactory bulbs, where I'm sure it's causing some form of damage? It's simple really, it's....It's.......
Forgive me, please.....
This could be a sensitive subject to some of you, Dear Readers.....
Please, you must understand my viewpoint.....
The suffering I've endured for HOURS ON END!!!
So, it with great concern and LONG SUFFERING that I come to you with this....
Please, under no circumstances, should you EVER, feed this beautiful, precious, wonderful specimen of dogdom.........table scraps.
Many of you do it out of love and affection for such a wonderful example of man's best friend. I understand this, truly I do. But what many of you don't understand, because you've never had the misfortune of experiencing it, the true torture, nay, the health threat this exposes my family to.
The truly heinous, horrific, terrible, unspeakable odor that she emits after eating table food is something that no human should ever be exposed to. It smells like turkey....but it's turkey gone terribly wrong. Turkey that has passed through the digestive tract of my precious pooch, but comes out smelling so foul, that I fear we should call a hazmat team. Or the CDC, or the Center for the Endangerment of the Human Olfactory Bulb!
Okay, that last one may not truly exist. But it should, Gentle Reader....It should.
Studmuffin and I were trapped in the car with this malodorous odor for 3 1/2 hours yesterday. We had to vent the windows in order to prevent serious permanent damage to ourselves. Thankfully, my precious little ones were at their grandma's, so they did not have to be exposed to the toxic substance.
Again, Dear Reader, if you ever encounter this marvelous dog, no matter how tempted you may be, no matter how exemplary her manners appear to be, under no circumstances should you ever, EVER feed her table scraps!
Thank you for your attention to this serious matter.
This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by The Center for the Endangerment of the Human Olfactory Bulb. Remember, you CAN make a difference. Choose to do what's right....Just say NO!
1 comment:
When our dog was fed table scraps by well-meaning individuals on the farm, she threw up in the car on the way home.......so I feel your pain, or smell your stink....oh, I can relate!
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