Sunday, December 14, 2008

Running in the Hallway.

I got some new jeans the other day. Studmuffin commented on how blue they are. Yes, I did get a dark wash, however I also tend to keep jeans until they are so faded and thin that they are like t-shirts, so a new pair looked REALLY blue to him.

But the real beauty of this comment is it inspired a new blog for me! I'm telling you, everything in my life is weighed in as a blog/non-blog moment. Sometimes I feel they are totally bloggable, but sadly, they just don't play out for me. However, I'm feeling really good about this one. Especially since I laughed until I teared up telling Studmuffin about it.

One of my best friends growing up was TeNille. She was one of the truly nicest people you will ever meet. And, this story is about her (and me, of course, because EVERYTHING is about me *at least I think so, and remember, I need my fantasies*)

Do you remember the 90s? Remember Rocky jeans? Well, in rural Oklahoma they were the thing to have if you were of the female gender, and you must own a Brushpopper shirt if you were of the male gender. TeNille was looking mighty fine in her brand spanking new jeans one school day......

Our tale begins in Spanish. TeNille noticed she had a strange blue tint to her hands. She asked the teacher about it. "I don't know, are you cold?" the teacher asked.

"No ma'am" TeNille replied.

The blue hands were swept under the rug for the moment in favor of conjugating Spanish verbs. Voy, vas, va, vamos, vais, van.....

TeNille's hand raised...."Ummmm, excuse me? My hands are turning bluer."

Sure enough, they were blue. At this point the teacher sent for her mother. You see, TeNille's mom was the home ec teacher, and her dad was the vice principle, and a coach (small school, you have to understand) and there was no such thing as a school nurse. I'd only heard of those in books. We had a secretary. If you felt sick, you went to the office or your mom if she worked at school. If your mom didn't work at school the secretary treated what was ailing you, or she called your parents. There was no need for a nurse. That would have been superfluous!

So... TeNille's mom arrives on the scene. She takes a look at TeNille's hands, which are now cold and clammy. "I don't know...do they hurt? It looks like your not getting blood flow to them. Give them a shake."

TeNille begins to shake her hands in an effort to restore the blood flow. The whole class is now involved in the drama unfolding before our eyes, and Spanish verbs are out the window....

"They're not getting better...They seem to be getting bluer!"

Oh my! We're in real trouble now. Her dad is now called to the scene. He does his examination of her...."It looks like you're not getting enough blood flow to your hands....Try running down the hall and shaking your hands, see if that helps." I don't know about you, dear reader, but by this time I was kind of freaking out. I'm thinking "how long can a person go with insufficient blood flow? Surely gangrene is imminent. I can see amputation in her future...And what would the basketball team do without their star player? She was also a cheerleader with me...How was she going to hold her pom-poms without any hands? Or swing a golf club?" Oh, I was afraid, gentle reader, very afraid....

So, our heroine (ummm, is that out you spell the girl or the drug? I'm never sure which) is now running up and down the halls and shaking her hands....I'm trying to recall if she had a hall pass for this activity, but since the school disciplinarian happened to be her father, and he told her to do it, I guess this was a moot point...(You have to understand I was very aware of hall passes and the necessity of having them....I tended to wander the halls a lot during school. Especially my senior year. There were so many more important things I had to do other than attend class....But, I made darn sure I got a hall pass before I left class to roam the hallowed hallways in search of bigger and better things to do. Hey, I didn't want to get into trouble with my best friend's dad! How would that look?) My mom happened to walk by (she worked at school too, as a teacher's aide) and saw everyone standing at the Spanish room door, trying to get a good look at TeNille, running up and down the hall...praying her precious hands would be saved....

"What's going on" she asked at about the time TeNille was stopping for a check-up. They all explained the situation to her. My mom took one look at her hands and said..........

Are you ready?

I know you are.....

Surely you've guessed, because I already gave the plot away in my first sentence!

She said.............

"It looks like you have ink or something all over your hands. Are those new jeans?"

You could have heard a pin drop...Then there was an outburst of laughter, and everyone talking and laughing and explaining...and maybe even a few tears of relief mixed in from yours truly, because, really....who ever heard of a cheerleader that can't hold her own pom-poms?

And for further explanation, gentle reader, since TeNille was nervous her hands were sweaty and cold.....And she kept rubbing her hands on her pant legs to warm them up and wipe off the sweat, thereby exacerbating her condition. It really is too funny. I hope this story truly did blog well. I had to stop several times to compose myself because I kept getting caught up in the memory of poor TeNille (who truly hated being embarrassed and never did anything that wasn't absolutely up and up because people might look at her, or judge her, or whatever) running up and down the hall, shaking her hands....and the look on her parents faces when my mom asked the obvious....

"Are those new jeans?"

Priceless.


2 comments:

Dawn said...

Man is our mom smart or what! Heroine--the woman does have an e!

Anonymous said...

I remember....I felt so smug, smarter than the home ec teacher. Mom