Okay, so there is nothing like a threat of change to make you truly appreciate what you have. I hate change. The only thing I like to change is my hair. And my underwear, of course. I can hear multiple sighs of relief to know that tidbit of info! But...back to the beginning...I hate change.
Studmuffin came to me with a proposition Friday...He has a new job offer. In Texas. North of San Antonio. Not south of SA, where we moved away from a mere 9 months ago, and I could sort of pick up where I left off...NORTH of SA. Gak. That's all I could think of to say to that.
I said I'd pray.
And I will.
But not last week.
And not today.
Suddenly I am so in love with this house of sticks I can't imagine moving. I mean I have a beautiful wheat crop out my back yard! And beautiful cattle with precious calves! My kitchen is nearly finished, and it is beeyooteefull!!! I finally bonded with my neighbors. The elderly couple up the street offered to give me a butterfly bush and some lilies. Mr. Emmett offered to give me some cantaloupes since I'm not planting any. He told me where I could get all of the free compost I need, I just have to load and haul it myself. I bullied my next door neighbor into taking walks with me. Hellooo! People who want to give me free stuff, and someone to boss around! What more could a girl want? Plus, I have big plans for flowers here. I'm putting this work in that will not be able to be fully appreciated until next summer! I've planted every blasted surface except the hallway and the laundry room! I'm finally making friends....True friends that you know will be good friends........The kind I'm sure God will give me again if He makes me move again, because He has every other time, but dang-it-I-don't-wanna make new friends again! I like the ones I have! I don't need anymore long distance friends!
Of course, I really am praying. But I'm praying with the hopes that the answer is "Stay where I've planted you my child." Insert deep benevolent voice here. I'm thinking very Morgan Freeman. I'm happy to be within 200 miles of basically all of my family. I'm happy to see my grandmas on a regular basis. But, I'm not sure how biblical my idea of staying near the family is....Abram had to pack up and move where he knew no one. And he wasn't getting the promise of help with moving expenses. Jesus wandered all over preaching and teaching...I don't think He was considering whether He was close to his earthly family. He was seeking to fulfill His purpose. That's what I'm supposed to be doing. Seeking to fulfill His purpose through me. Ultimately, if that requires me moving.... AGAIN, I want to do that. Better to be in God's will than be close to home and be far out of His will.
So Studmuffin sent me a text of frustration today. I asked him if he wanted to move to SA. His response was we'll talk later. I responded with "I'll support you whatever you decide.... But I'll be sad." There. That was fair, right? Let's ignore the teeny tiny little guilt thrown in at the end. If you ignore that I'm very submissive and sweet. The end statement is, regrettably, a tad manipulative. So, I went from being Ruth with my whither thou goest, to being Rebekah, knowing exactly how Isaac thought and playing her cards accordingly.
Anyway, Studmuffin told me this evening that he turned the job down this morning. And now I feel guilty.
2 Truths: a) I know he really wants the job, and b) he's only saying no because he wants me to be happy......
I don't want him to make a decision he'll regret because he is afraid the girls and I will be disappointed at being uprooted again. I've always said he's a much nicer person than me.....
So....all of that to say "Pray for me." Pray for us and this decision, because I'm sure the offer is still open if he wants it. This company has been talking to him since he moved here last summer. So I'm pretty sure they'll still be interested. Dang it. But, seriously, pray that we will make a decision that is based on what God wants for us...
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.