Studmuffin graciously read my post this evening...and he promptly asked "You didn't mention me falling off of the boat?"
What?
What is wrong with me?! I completely forgot to share his humiliation...AHA!!! Payback for the beating from the tube ride...Christian virtues, out the window, prepare to laugh at someone other than me...
So, we pulled into a lovely little cove to eat our noon meal. The scene was idyllic, no other boats around, nice break from the wind....
"Hand me the anchors, Babe."
"Sure thing Studmuffin!" I tremblingly (hey, a new word) hefted them out from the cargo space under the front seats. He threw the first one in off of the back and secured it. I began preparing our lovely meal of premade sandwiches, apple slices and Nacho Cheese Doritos...
SPLASH!!!
Man, that anchor sure mad a loud splash, I thought to myself. I continued about my Proverbs 31 duties...Her children fear no hunger...
"MOM!!! DAD FELL IN THE LAKE!"
"What?!" And I looked behind me, and sure enough, he was gone....And he wasn't coming up....So, I waited.
And waited.
Started to get a tad concerned....
At last he surfaced, HOLDING THE BLOODY 15 POUND ANCHOR IN HIS HANDS!!!!!!!
It seems that he accidentally fell in when a passing boat's wake knocked him off balance. He was afraid of losing his $12 anchor, so he held on for dear life and swam to the surface....
Gentle Reader...He has increased his ranking as the King of Cheap....
He would rather drown than lose a $12 anchor....
His obituary would have read, "He was found on the bottom of the lake clinging to an anchor. His wife reported that she heard a loud splash but was too busy preparing lunch to take note of her husband's unfortunate plummet."
You wanna know what's sad? He was in 7 foot of water....The anchor had a 30 foot NYLON rope attached. I suspect it may have floated to the top even without his help. It seems that was a risk he wasn't willing to take.
More on Studmuffin's tendency to fall out of the boat:
2 years ago he bought a casting net. He had never used one before. He went to neatly toss it out, and fell in right behind it. The water was so shallow he landed on his butt on the bottom of the lake. His buddies with him said, "So, did you see any shad down there?"
The second time he fell in was a whopping 10 minutes later....casting the net again.
So, it seems he has mastered falling out of the boat!
1 comment:
This is an awesome story and you tell it so well! Seriously send it to readers digest or something!!! LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!!!
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