Friday, September 25, 2009

The State Fair

Who doesn't love the state fair?

We took the girls last Monday evening to the fair. They had a great time.....

Speaking of loving the state fair:

Don't you hate, hate, hate the midway? "Winner Winner! Every kid is a winner!"

"Please, please mommy can we play a game?"

"Okay, but only 2 games each." We approach the balloon/dart game...

"Every kid is a winner ma'am! How many chances would you like to buy? It's 3 darts for $5 or 7 for $10!"

"Your sign says 3 for $2...."

"They sign means nothing, ma'am. EVERY KID IS A WINNER! WINNER, WINNER!"

"Please, mommy! I want to play a game!" We had been perusing the midway for several minutes, and I had already realized that every game was a minimum of $5...But still, how hard is it to cover an old sign with stuffed toys?

"Okay..." Turning to the midway worker dude (that sounds more p.c. than carney, don't ya think?) "I'll take 3 chances please."

"Are you sure ma'am? You can get 7 chances for $10!"

"Well, didn't you say that every kid is a winner?"


"So, I think we'll stick with 3 darts..."

The kids rode the swings. They wasted money touring haunted houses and crazy factories, where half of the stuff didn't work....

We toured the barns and looked at all the different breeds of goats. We admired the Clydesdale horses...We went to a sad sea lion show with a giant blow up pool...

We ate chicken on a stick, corn dogs, chili dogs, and funnel cakes fresh from the grease with powdered sugar blowing all over our faces and clothes. We looked like we had powdered sugar freckles! We debated Indian tacos, but the wind was really blowing, and since every item purchased was being sampled 4 ways around, we figured most of the toppings would be gone with the wind, so we resisted. Then, Gentle Reader, I took the ultimate plunge. I splurged on a calorie mecca that I had been hearing about and seeing for a few years, but never felt it was worth the extra dimples in my thighs....I gravitated to the fried candy bar stand...They had fried Snickers, Oreos, and Twinkies.

The kind lady informed me that the Oreos were the best way to go. So, I ponied up five more bucks, and she blessed me with 8 Oreos, since there were 4 of us (the price included only 5.) She sprinkled them with powdered sugar then drizzled them with hot fudge. The breading was similar to funnel cake batter. It may have been funnel cake batter...

All I know is this: I literally moaned in delight. They were a calorie laden, fat swimmin', mecca of deliciousness. They were totally worth it. Would I do it more than once a year? Heck no. But will I buy them next year at the fair? You betcha...

After we had gorged ourselves on fried delights, we toured the various barns and made our way over to Centennial plaza. The Wild West Show was due to start at 7pm. We were very excited. The show was so cheesy, it was sad. They had some amazing animal acts, but they tried to tie them into Oklahoma's history, and the various phases of our past. Yes, the Indian dancers were great. I loved their costumes. Even this one who looked like he had a turkey growing out his butt...
As you can see, I didn't bring a camera. I didn't want to carry anything. In fact, I had even stuffed my cash in my bra. After we got there, I was afraid my short pockets were too baggy and gappy, so the bra was my only back up...But, back to the topic at hand.

I enjoyed the Indian who rode his horses through flames, and had them do all sorts of awkward things that is so counter to their nature...Very interesting, but again the dialogue was so cheesy, it was hard not to chuckle.

Then, they had this cowboy ride in on 2 Brahma bulls. Yep. Two Brahma bulls. This was done to signify traveling through the desert. The first bull died this slow agonizing death resulting in him lying on his side, all 4 legs out stiff, and his head bent back and over his shoulder. That bull did not even twitch. Then, in another dramatic death sequence the cowboy and other bull died draped over the first bull. That was pretty amazing. But again....Weird scenario.

Okay. Then they had a group of square dancers. People, I can square dance better than these poor people did. Their caller got mixed up, and you could tell they would expect one thing, but he'd call another, then they'd all get mixed up. It was so sad. I felt so sorry for them. Sad, sad, sad.

The show also had trick riders, trick ropers, and even a guy on a unicycle with a trick rope and a whip that he could use to snap cards out of the air...This with the wind blowing! Very entertaining!

But the very best part was the shoot out. Popcorn and Bookworm laughed and cackled and they were literally holding their stomachs at these fellows' antics. They had great slap stick comedy. Don't you miss slap stick? It made me miss Dick Van Dyke, Carol Burnett, and Lucille Ball shows...

It was truly a good time. We left exhausted, yet keyed up...with empty pockets. But, the kids loved it. I loved it. I got to see all the freaks of nature that seem to congregate at fairs mingling with the common folk. You see people from all walks of life, and it is amazing to me how they all come together to dump inconceivable amounts of money into an evening of entertainment and food...For that small amount of time that we are all at the fair, we are all the same with the same goal in mind: Spend all of your money with nothing to show for it, and eat that special food that you can only get at the fair...Sweet corn with the husk still hanging off...Giant corn dogs...Fresh funnel cakes...Indian tacos...Cinnamon rolls...Barbecue...And all of it made fresh right before your eyes.

Yum. I can't wait for next year.

Hey! Did I happen to mention that I LOVE fair food?


Dawn said...

so which envelope did that money come out of--groceries or entertainement? bwahaha! just kidding. Sounds like fun.

Marilyn said...

I wish I could go to the fair. I love funnel cakes. I remember when Dad spent all of his money trying to win a bunch of stuff and we could have bought it a lot cheaper. That was when we were young and single. He was trying to impress me.