Sunday, December 27, 2009

Studmuffin is 25% Veterinarian...

My mother-in-law takes my side in every argument. It's true. She has my back in every disagreement between her son & I. If I said the sky was purple, and he said it was blue, she would side with me every time. I could claim that unicorns lived in my back yard, and she would defend me to her son....Every blessed time. I love it...

After all, it's only fair, because my mom takes Studmuffin's side in all things. It drives me cuh-RA-zy! She always tells me to be nice to him, and be careful or I will "sound like my mother." (Psycho scream plays in the back ground)

Anyway, I have a perfect example of my mother-in-law taking my side. Studmuffin was telling her all about the big fight our dogs had after Kelsey got hurt. I had been agonizing over who was to blame for the bloody battle. After all, my dad and father-in-law had felt the need to point out that, "Well, she may live, but she'll never be the same dog again." Ummm, gee. Thanks. That's just what I wanted to hear after my dog died, then started breathing, then was nearly "finished off for her own good," before she tried to stand up, then was told she may never be willing to eat or drink again....And it went on and on, but the point is, that I was concerned she had turned into a vicious dog, that I could never trust with other dogs or small children again...I was blocking out the fact that Holly had taken Kelsey down, and was acting as if she was about to finish her off. Literally.

Just to remind you of our original topic at hand, Studmuffin was telling Scotty about the fight...

Scotty: Well, it wasn't Kelsey's fault. Brittney's are mean damn dogs. When your dad raised dogs, they would fight, then he'd go out there and beat them apart, and they'd be fine for awhile...Then they'd start fighting again.

Studmuffin: REALLY? Holly is such a nice dog. I had no ideas that Brittney's are mean!

Scotty: They are. It was NOT Kelsey's fault. It is going to take her at least 2 months to get back to her old self. She will not feel good for 2 months....So you better just keep her in the house with you for that time...

Now, understand, Dear Reader, that I am repeating this conversation from eavesdropping sitting next to Studmuffin on the couch. Some of my dialogue may be slightly skewed. But, you get my meaning here. Even if it means siding with my dog over his dog, she's got my back. Of course, I tried to back up her facts that Brittney's are "mean damn dogs," but every thing I found about them indicates that they are not at all aggressive. The vet told me the fight was a result of the alpha dog balance being upset by Kelsey's weakened state...

Today, Studmuffin and I were revisiting this conversation as we were talking about the stress levels in my life. He is still not healed, and won't be for 6 months, and according to my mother-in-law, I have at least a month and a half before Kelsey's healed.

Because Scotty knows all about animals...Since she's a veterinarian and all.

Okay, so she's not a full vet.

Only 50%.


You see, apparently, Studmuffin's grandpa Max was a vet...

WHAT?!!!

You never knew that? Well, neither did I. As a matter of fact, I disagreed with him on this fact, but it turns out Max was the unofficial vet for their small town before they got a licensed vet. He was the guy you took your dog to that got hit in the head by a truck, or your horse that got tangled in barbed wire, or your calf that had the scours...He was the Go to Guy...

So, according to Studmuffin, by pure genetics that makes Scotty 50% vet, and him 25% veterinarian...Unfortunately, since I have no vets on my side of the family, our girls are only 1/8 veterinarian...

Which explains Popcorn's difficulty in keeping small animals alive....Apparently she only inherited the euthenasia skills of veterinarians....

Addendum: Studmuffin called his parents, and he has since decided that since his grandpa was not a licensed vet, that all genetic traits of veterinarianism must now be reduced by another 50%. Therefore, he is now 1/8 vet and my girls are 1/16....

This explains why he felt the appropriate treatment for an injured dog was a shot of .357....

And as for that 1/16th of veterinarian in my girls, well, we won't even go there. I mean, that's even the cut off for Native Americans, so it hardly counts. I won't bother telling them of their new-found predisposition for veterinarianism...If they decide to seek a career in veternary science, we will consider it a recessive genetic trait at this point.

4 comments:

The Lumberjack's Wife said...

Your mother-in-law always takes your side?!? Score!!!

Dawn said...

HAHA! Poor Popcorn and her euthanasia skills! Maybe if she were more than 1/16 she'd have more than that one!

Sarah Castor said...

Haha!

Today word verification word is "alven!" A small chipmunk or a rare ingredient in a magical potion?!

Marilyn said...

Well, my word verifiction is comerse, Is that an interchange of goods or what? Who cares, I just wanted to write a comment so why do I have to type all of the characters that I see in the picture.