What has happened

to this world? I just went an entire week without posting. An entire week people.

What's more, this is the first time I've turned on my computer since last Thursday.

Shocking, I know.

So, here I sit racking my brain to share all of the wonders of my world, but my brain is tired, and Popcorn is watching "Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron" while Bookworm is at softball, so I keep getting distracted...And the only things I can think to tell you are things you don't want to know.

Like, one of my coworkers happens to work recovery at another hospital. She took care of a man last week who rapped a metal ring around all of his parts and had to have surgery to cut it off.

The ring, not his parts.

Unfortunately, after driving to a free clinic which promptly said that was not a free clinic sort of deal, he had stopped and grabbed a steak sandwich and onion rings....I guess onion rings help with the inflammation.

Anyhoo, by the time he got into surgery his dangly parts were bigger than grapefruits, and they were unsure if his dumbstick would ever function properly again. Seriously, how does one get a metal ring around their parts? Why would they do it? What pleasure is there in that?

Please. I beg you not to answer that question. It is truly rhetorical.

Thank you.

Oh, WAIT! I forgot to mention that he was in such pain when he got to the ER that the nurse gave him pain medicine, then he couldn't sign his consent legally, so they had to call his son and get phone consent!

Wow! I can't even imagine how that conversation went. "Mr. So-and-so, I'm calling regarding your father. He needs emergency surgery to get a metal ring off of his you-know-whats because he's a complete wack job!"

At least, that's how I would have approached it...Y'know, since I'm such a fan of anatomically correct references to body parts and all that.

See what I mean by the only things I can think to tell about, you REALLY don't want to know.

Because, this conversation lead to all sorts of weird revelations about things we've seen, the rest of which I will spare you...

Well, now I'm off to read all of your wonderful blogs, fellow bloggers, but please do not feel offended if I fail to comment. Again, my brain is tired. And I'm in a rush. My in-laws are coming to stay tonight, and I need to clean my floors.

However, considering there's a mouse in my kitchen, somewhere, eluding my mouse traps, I'm not sure how relevant clean floors are.

But, alas Dancing With the Stars will be on soon, so I better get moving so I can watch it while I clean.

Oh, and of course though I will fail to comment on your lovely blogs, please feel obligated to comment on mine. I need to know that you are still aware of my existence after failing to post for so long. Thank you for your cooperation.