Back to the Grind

Well.  It's official.  My vacation is over.

*Sniff*

It is now back to house work and cooking and shopping for food not clothes, and yard work.  I'm actually pretty excited about the yard work.

And yet I realize I will start lots of yard projects and flake out and not keep them maintained through the end of summer.

In an effort to avoid my return to reality, I will post one final vacation blog.  It's not funny.  Just informative.

Wait!  Did you not realize I went on vacation?  Well, it was a sort of vacation.  It was kind of like those time shares.  You know, they pay for you to stay in a hotel, maybe even give you coupons for local entertainment, but you have to sit through a seminar on how fabulous their company is?  Well, it was sort of like that...

Only Studmuffin had to sit through an interview.

For five hours.

I'm pretty sure he's a better person for the experience.

I know my toes are better for the experience.  Let's just say the nail lady was pretty horrified at my feet.  Hey!  I moisturize!  I use foot scrubs!  But it had been over two years since these feet had a pedicure, and they were due!  She also tried to sneer at my hands and shame me into a manicure.

Really.  I am a nurse.  And I do yard work.  Manicures are a complete waste of money...

We stopped at Cabela's on our way home.  You would think I would have no fun in Cabela's.  Anyway I would think I would have no fun.  I have come to despise Bass Pro.  However, Studmuffin did not make me stay in Cabela's for hours.  And it isn't a frequent stop.  So... It was more vacation like.  Of course, I also got to tour their "wildlife museum" (read here room full of stuffed dead animals) and make fun of the scary robot telling stories.  Actually, he wasn't scary.  He was very lifelike.  And cross-eyed.

Don't those hands look crazy real?

It seems I am not at all above mocking a wax figure.

It also seems that one should never enter a Cabela's store after a long day of shopping.  ESPECIALLY if one is particularly hungry.  I had snatched up a bag of yogurt pretzels and chocolate covered raisins before I left the entry way.  I also snagged a bag of toasted sugar coated almonds at the check out.  Oh, and let's not forget the fudge that I bought in the fudge shop.

 I also tried on clothes.

WHAT??

I tried on clothes.  In an outdoor store.  You see, I had recently left Dillard's, the land of overpriced polyester, where I had insulted a sales lady.  She unwittingly offered to get me a dressing room.  I asked if there was anything that was not made of polyester.

 She walked away.

I took that as a no.



My body yearns for natural fabrics.  Cotton, silk, cashmere...I'm not picky.  But truly.  The polyester clothes are out of control.   I actually did try on a pretty top.  It was polyester.  It made me think of my Grandma Irene's clothes.  And it was nearly $100.  Strangely, I was not tempted to buy it.

So I entered Cabelas.  And there was cotton as far as the eye could see!  Unless, of course it was all weather, moisture wicking water repellent.  And of course that SHOULD be in strange materials...

I wound up desiring a pair of Columbia knee pants that resist stains and repel moisture (and yes, they are nylon/polyester) and a pair of North Face shorts that were indeed 100% cotton. They were both flattering.  I did the sit down test in the shorts.  You know the one.  If you sit down in the shorts and they cut into your thighs, then you will be constantly standing and pulling the shorts down so that it doesn't look like you need to lose 3 inches in your thighs...

I decided against the shorts.  Even though they were super cute standing up.  I just wasn't sure I could manage to never sit down in public in them!

I splurged on the pants.  They are so comfortable.  I have no idea what I needed them for, as I am in desperate need of some nice tops...  But my husband said they looked "hot" and that was that!

So.  We returned a day earlier than planned as we had no other plans but to shop at another outlet mall.  And I hate crowds. And don't particularly care for shopping.  And spending money was starting to give me hives, even though I was trying to pretend that everything on this "vacation" was free...

But I firmly stayed in vacation mode yesterday.  I did not fix one meal.  I did not clean one room.  I did no yard work.  Instead, I went in my back yard, crashed on my Adirondack chair and read a trashy romance.

And got a sunburn on my face from sitting outside reading for 3 hours.

Life was good.

Alas, reality is knocking at my door.  I took this entire week off, with intentions of doing some spring cleaning and yard work today and tomorrow.  So.  Back to the grind.

*Sniff*