Upon Reflection

I reread my last post based on some comments I received.  Comments that sort of confused me...

Until I reread my post.

I wish I could take the post back.  But I can't.  It's already been posted and sent to the cyber stratosphere, never to be retrieved again.  At least not completely.

Words are like that, aren't they?

What my post was SUPPOSED to be about was how God is working with me to be bold in my faith.  Along with that boldness comes the calling to be loving.  To truly be more like Him.  To put belligerent, rude patients above myself and put their needs and fears above my hungry/tired/cranky self.

Seriously.

That's where that post was supposed to go.

Only it ran away from me.  And now I wish I hadn't posted it.  I think it sounds proud and boastful.  And I don't want to do that, unless it's to emphasize boasting in the Lord and what He does.  Because believe me, the only way I'm able to exhibit patience with some people is to remember that I'm to be serving the Lord by serving them.

Even when I don't want to.

Even when I'm tired of working and I want to stay home and be a trophy wife who sits on the couch and blogs and eats Dove Special Dark Promises and clips coupons while drinking endless cups of coffee.

But God did not call me to be that lady.  He called me to nursing.  He called me to be His hands and feet as I care for my patients. 

And he has been chastising me for not embracing my calling, and seeing it for what it is. 

So.  Somehow that last post got off track and bragger like and not at all humble. 

All I can say is I'm sorry.  I can't take it back, because words can never really be taken back.  Believe me, as much as I ramble and rattle off words, I've learned to apologize.  And I've learned that once it's said, it's said.  I can apologize for saying it, but the words are still there...So I'm not removing it.  I'm just trying to fix what I did and change it to the tone I originally intended.

That's it.  God's talking to me.  He talked to me again this morning when I read the comments.  And I decided that this is what He would have me do.

So.  I think everyone was afraid to answer what God was talking to them about for fear the crazy lady would attack them.  You don't have to answer me in my comment section.  Just ponder it.  Talk to God about it.  I'm learning that He's got a lot to say to me.

I just need to shut up and listen.