Thursday, December 26, 2013

The Excitement

Yesterday was a pretty ordinary Christmas day.  We got up early to open gifts and admire our Santa gifts.  I cooked and cooked and cooked while Studmuffin assembled a 375+ piece marble run that was a gift for Popcorn. 

Then we overate...

The day progressed in the usual fashion including the part where the four of us sat down to play all of the games we received.  The girls started to spat, and then their father lost his temper due to bickering and sent them to bed at 7:30....We all three sat there quietly, hoping that he would relent.  He didn't.  And I drew on all of my submissiveness and said not a word as my beloved adolescent daughters slunk off to bed.

Then I got wrapped up in a jigsaw puzzle which I obsessed over until nearly midnight.  As I began to clean up stray glasses and napkins from the day of overindulgence, Chesney (Brent's golden retriever) began to sniff about the house.  I did a quick check of the counter tops and put away the last bit of food so that she wouldn't "retrieve" any snacks as she's been known to do. 

So, I had lain in bed maybe fifteen minutes, trying to find a comfortable position as I have a self diagnosed pinched nerve in my neck and I couldn't scavenge enough time in my day of over indulgence to stretch out my tightened muscles.  I began to hear a chinking sound, like when one is emptying the dishwasher.  Only I was 99% sure my children were NOT emptying the dishwasher after midnight since I can barely FORCE them to do it during the day.  I sighed and twinged as I climbed out of bed to go see what the matter.  I flicked the light on  over the piano as I strolled by in order to avoid the various debris that results from Christmas. 

I rounded the couch and Kelsey (my dingo) came out from behind the dining room table, near the bay window, and Chesney, the biggest fraidy cat in the history of EVER came out growling from the other side.  I scolded her for growling and continued to approach.  I told her "be quiet" again, then made the mistake of reaching down for her.  She continued to growl and low and behold next thing I knew there was a genuine dog fight going on right at my feet!  I yelled and drug them apart, and they just continued to bark and growl and snap at each other.  About this time Studmuffin showed up to yank them apart for good and sent Chesney to bed.  Kelsey then slunk over to her own bed.  I gave them both a full once over and discovered that they were fine. 

After a brief investigation I discovered the cause for the fight.  I had forgotten a bowl full of dinner rolls on the table that was draped in a cloth to keep them warm.  The dining room chairs were not tucked in properly.  Apparently the dogs had gotten up ON TOP of the table and were greedily scarfing down dinner rolls and then they heard me approaching.  The chinking sound was the bowl bumping against some glass candle holders. They scrambled down before I could catch them, and apparently Kelsey ate more than her share because Chesney was voicing displeasure.  Then I made the mistake of approaching Chesney in her first ever attempt at bravery and dominance.  Kelsey decided such insubordination was NOT to be tolerated and dove into her before I could even blink...

At least that's the scenario I came up with as I lay awake another two hours trying to come down from my adrenaline rush.

Brent insists HIS dog was on the floor waiting for Kelsey to throw her a roll because she would NEVER climb up on the table.  Apparently climbing on top of tables is limited to the dingo breed, not the super obedient submissive golden retriever breed.  In Brent's story the growling was simply because I came in before Kelsey held up her end of the bargain.

Oh, did I mention Kelsey weighs 50 pounds and Chesney weighs 60?  I've been chuckling over the image of those two monsters on my dining room table all day.  When I wasn't debating never allowing them in the house again.

What was the most exciting part of your day?