She survived...And so did I

Bookworm returned from Kids Kamp last night. She had a great time. OF COURSE... I was never worried...Not for one minute...

Unless you count the minute that she was burying her face in the pillow as she waited to climb on the bus to leave....

Or the minute I was looking at the ceiling, wondering if she was in bed yet...and if not, how tired she'd be the next day...

Or the minute when I was taking Popcorn to see the movie "Up" (loved it) and wondered if she would be sad that we went without her...

Or maybe the minute when I was scrubbing the shower and I remembered how disgusting the church camp showers always were...

But other than that, I never worried...Not at all.....

Seriously, though she had a great time. Apparently, she did cry when the bus was leaving the church on Monday. She hung out with a girl in 4th grade who was on her basketball team. The other girl is very quiet, and I had thought maybe they would hook up, but I worried they would both be too reserved to actually approach each other...woops...Did I say worried? I mean, ummmm, concerned. Yep, that's it. Concerned.

It also seems she had a little boy actively pursuing her from the first day. He told her to "meet me at the gazebo at noon if you want to have a boyfriend." Of course, this was in a note via a messenger. Bookworm said he was "relentless." She said, "Mom, that boy was crazy or something. I am way too young to have a boyfriend! I don't want one...He must be drunk or something if he thinks I like him!"

What?

Drunk?

Does she even know what that is? Or how you get that? I don't know, but I had to laugh at her phrasing. And breathe a sigh of relief that she's "too young to have a boyfriend."

*Phew!*

I'm very very busy

And I've got a lot to do,
and I haven't got a minute to explain it all to you..
For on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday there are people I must see
and on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday I'm as busy as can be
With my most important meetings and my most important calls
And I have to do so many things and post them on the walls!
(Shamelessly copied from Sandra Boynton's "BusyBusyBusy" from her cd title Philadelphia Chickens.)

Have you ever read Sandra Boynton Books to your kids? If not, you have to buy them the next time you see one. Then, after you fall totally in love with her illustrations and whimsical language, you simply MUST buy her cd's for your kids. You will love them.

I fell in love with her when my girls were about 2 & 3. There is this song called "I Like to Fuss." The lyrics go like this: I like to fuss, I like to moan. I like to stand on my chair and say LEAVE ME ALONE don't bother me.....I like to gripe. I like to brood. I like to stomp all around in a truly terrible mood." That song could not have been more perfect to a mother of two toddlers.

But, this post is not about Sandra Boynton, and her creative genius. Okay, so it sorta is, but that was not the original game plan. I got off on a bunny trail...


Hippety-hoppety Easter's on it's way....


Thumpety-thump-thump. Thumpety-thump-thump....Woops! That's Frosty, not a bunny!




Put your right foot forward....Stick your left foot out!




Okay. I'm done. Seriously....

I've typed and deleted the rant I was about to post about 50 bajillion times. Here it is in a nutshell. I'm in a hurry. I have tons to get done. I need everyone around me to move as fast as me. There is no excuse. I don't care if Studmuffin says it is ridiculous how fast I walk. I think if people put their mind to it, they can move as quickly as me (or close to it.) I had to leave work late because other people are incapable of moving was quickly as I would like them to. This delay resulted in the above photo diary.

Don't understand?

Look again. Less than one mile in 9 minutes.

AAARGH!!!!


It took me over 1 hour to do a drive that normally takes about 25 minutes.

So. Originally I was going to rant and rave about all the poky people in my life. But that is ridiculous and petty...And no matter how I tweaked it, I sounded whiny and unfair. So, I'm done. No more complaining about poky people.

But could you please just think of me the next time you are strolling through life as if you don't have anywhere you need to be in a hurry? And when you think of me...

HURRY!!!

HUSTLE!!!

MOVE THAT BOOTY!!!

Try to think of it as an easy calorie burner. Whatever helps you get there quicker. But please, please, please

HURRY!!!!

Thank you. I appreciate your concern for my problems!

And, I appreciate you overlooking the film of filth on my radio in the above pictures. I tend to clean all day at work, because I have to clean the bays between every single one of my patients. I find that does not lead to any desire to clean at home.....Funny how that works out.

And a post note for all of the grammar people in my blogosphere: I would spell it whiney and pokey. Spell check insist it is whiny and poky. What do you think?

Kids Kamp

Bookworm leaves for Kids Kamp today. The girls decided to practice camping last Friday night. They were determined they were going to sleep in the "back back yard." Translation: outside the fence.

Now normally, I would have said fine, no big deal. However, a few weeks ago a coyote came onto my neighbors back porch and snatched their Maltese right in front of them. It was late at night, they had let the pooch out to potty, and my neighbor had the porch light on, standing just inside her french door, watching her. Can you imagine her horror when Cotton ran up on the porch, ready to come in, and a coyote dashed up on the porch, snatched her and ran off? That is just a little too bold, even for a sturdy country girl like me. So, I insisted they sleep inside the fence.


But, back to the subject: Kids Kamp. Bookworm is very excited. So am I. But, of course I'm nervous for her. Our church is fairly large, but we only have three 3rd grade girls. And, only one other 3rd grade girl is going. She and Bookworm aren't that close, plus the other girl's mother informed me, "I'm having Chloe take a friend, so she will have someone to play with at camp." I had just verbalized that I was really glad Chloe was going so Bookworm would have a kid her own age to play with. I was stunned into silence at that statement. I'm sure she didn't mean it rude. It was actually smart. Why the heck didn't I think to have my kid invite a friend to go with her? Duh.
I'm sure she is going to do just fine. I always loved camp. And I grew up in a very small church, where I was basically the only kid who attended regularly, and I still loved it. Of course, Bookworm isn't as assertive as me. She's not shy, but she also isn't the kind to just run up to a group of kids and join in a game that she thinks looks fun. Even at our own VBS I had to instruct her to go up to the rec youth worker and tap her on the shoulder and ask if she could play the game of keep away that had started in the gym when our craft was finished WAY too early for them to go to their next station. Bookworm was just too nervous to go up and join in without being specifically invited.


So, obviously I'm going to miss her and fret over whether she's having fun for the next 4 days. She returns Thursday evening. My dog Kelsey is sure going to miss her. I'm sure she'll be fretting over where she is when the rest of the pack is at home where it belongs. Kelsey is just a worrier that way.


I can tell you another thing. This little goofball is definitely going to miss her sister. They really are best friends. They spend every minute of every day together in the summer. In fact, they've spent so much time together lately that they are starting to bicker all the time. I think I'm going to put them in separate rooms. That way, they can at least have their sleep time apart, and have their own space to go to when they need alone time. Not that Popcorn ever needs alone time. Seriously, this kid is going to REALLY miss her sister.

So am I.

Mr. Black & Decker himself...

Remember the yard swing I got at our town wide garage sale for a whopping $5? I'm sure you remember how Holly finished my decision on how to salvage the cushions. She promptly destroyed them and reminded me that fabric anything and puppies don't mix.

Studmuffin decided to make a bench for the frame. He said, "You know, for about 30 bucks I could build you a nice wooden bench for that."

Of course, I agreed. Gentle Reader, can I just tell you how awesome my husband is?



He started cutting the wood for the swing last Sunday. I was shocked when I walked in and discovered him routering (spelling?) the edges.


I was even more amazed when he spent his second evening working on it Friday. And he finished it. He did a fantastic job.


Today he is attaching the rope, and he's decided that he's going to crackle it in blue and white. I'm not sure which will be the top color, and which the base. Of course, this will also require him repainting the frame. But, hey, I'm not going to interfere with obvious creative genius when I see it!


I can tell you it will look great. This sure beats the heck out of what I originally pictured, which was a very basic squared off bench suspended by a rope. I'm sure since it's prettier, it's bound to be more comfy too!

Post Note: Ummm, yes, I realize I could be a tad more patient and post a picture of the finished product. One little problem. He has yet to purchase the paint. You do realize that this is where progress will stutter and stall for an extended period. At least if I go by previous projects. He works really hard and brilliantly fast, but when he gets to the last, simple stretch, he loses interest and moves on to a new one. I can't blame him. Anyone who dug through our closets would undoubtedly find countless craft projects that I've begun with good intentions, yet failed to complete. This is the reason I no longer do crafts. I can't handle the guilt of the uncompleted project, yet I lack the ambition to finish it. My answer: don't start what you know you won't finish! Of course, Studmuffin will finish it. He's just great that way.

John Deere Green

I was driving home from work today and I saw a tractor. I suddenly had a flash of driving Dad's John Deere 70 tractor. It had no cab. I never got to drive it when it had a shade. I don't know if we never owned one, or if I just fell into the time frame when it was worn out from heat, rain and Oklahoma Wind.

We had a heavy four wheel drive Case tractor at that time. It packed the earth too hard for drilling so we used the 70 when my Grandad's tractor was otherwise engaged for drilling. I also got the privilege of using it for spraying and using the spreader.

Have I ever told you that Dad very seldom gave me orders. Every morning while I ate breakfast he would list the things he planned to "let" me do that day. That was his exact words. "Andi, today I'm going to let you drive the tractor." I never dared to say "No thanks, I think I'll go to the lake today instead."

But, back to tractor driving....The spreader was a simple implement that you simply hooked on to the tractor, filled with fertilizer pellets, and as you drove it sprayed the pellets onto the soil. Basically the same as the spreader you find at Home Depot to fertilize your lawn. Only bigger.

Anyhoo, I actually enjoyed the 70. You felt like you were driving really fast because you got to feel the wind in your face and you had to continuously move the steering wheel to keep it on track (picture how little kids pretend to steer and that was the reality with our 70.) Mind you I was probably only going MAYBE 10 mph, but it was all in the perception. I can remember bebopping along and singing at the top of my lungs "She thinks my tractor's sexy...It really turns her on....She always smilin' at me...While I'm chuggin' along." Or how about, "You can set my truck on fire, or roll it down the hill, but I still wouldn't trade it for a Coup deVille. It's got an 8 ft bed that never has to be made, you know if it weren't for trucks they wouldn't have tail gates..." Or maybe even "You know a dream is like a river...Ever changing as it goes..."

Okay...I'm done with our musical interlude.

Remember my previous mentions that I had a tendency to....ummm....well....

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah....I would lose track of what I was supposed to be doing.

Well, one time I was fertilizing the field a mile north of my parents house. I'm guessing it was a quarter section, which thanks to Studmuffin I can translate for you to 160 acres. It was actually a flat field with no terraces.This is very unusual for the Panhandle of Oklahoma. Since there were no terraces I was able to drive around in great big circles...Eventually I would get a feel for how far apart my tire tracks needed to be so that I had maximum coverage, but did not spend all of my time looking behind me to make sure I was covering well. I guess you could say I eventually guesstimated it. Well, this particular time, I was dancing along, standing up (the seat got sweaty after awhile, and that lead to uncomfortable sweaty-booty itchiness. You understand, I'm sure) singing at the top of my lungs when suddenly...

What the heck?

What is that?

Where did it come from?

Did we have another spreader parked in the field?

No, Gentle Reader, of course we didn't. Apparently I had failed to look behind me for quite a while. An entire circle's worth to be exact. At some point my pin had shook out of the hitch, the spreader came unhooked, and the spreader stayed put....

While I continued blithely along, completely ignorant of the fact that I was just driving around in a circle...

Accomplishing nothing.

I quickly pulled up to it, rehitched (I think I ran around frantically looking for the hitch pin, lest I get yet another lecture on inattentiveness) and completed the job.

Never to mention the whole debacle to my parents.

Until my Dad told me about using the spreader one night when it was late. It seems it got dark before he finished, so he was using the headlights to judge the distance between tire tracks....He was driving along, and suddenly the spreader was right in front of him. He decided it was apparently too dark to finish farming that night and called it a day.

I think it runs in the family.

Conversations with kids

Studmuffin had a very important meeting today, so we ate supper without him. It seems that the "new guy" at work needed Studmuffin to help him find fishing supplies and boat supplies at Bass Pro Shops. Then, Studmuffin had to go over and look at the new guy's boat and do grunting noises over it....

So, the girls and I were eating our chicken fajitas alone. Remember I said they have VBS this week? Bookworm was telling me about a girl who has been visiting. Sierra asked Jesus into her heart yesterday, and today she decided she wants to be a missionary. Popcorn wants to be one too. But she hopes she doesn't have to walk everywhere or she might have to start using a cane. Bookworm informed her she doesn't have to travel across the ocean to be a missionary. She could be a missionary to the Americas. I told them that you can even be a missionary to the US. Bookworm said, "Yeah, like Idaho!"

Okay, that really cracked me up. Idaho. What a random state. Where did that come from? Maybe those potato farmers need some soul saving...


And last but certainly not least, a little known fact for your edification:


The first testicular guard "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874.

The first helmet was used in 1974.

It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.

Now, don't you feel better knowing that? You're welcome.

Is Jello made from bone marrow?

I'm a sharer....No seriously, I am. I know you are all shocked to learn my propensity for sharing, considering the things I've shared on this blog. Just in case you need a refresher course, click on any of the following to remind yourself of my willingness to share...

Like driving the tractor in my panties
How I got a scar on my belly
I'm cheap and I know it
I'm random
I used to be a track star
I lie to my children


Anyhoo, we are having VBS at church this week. I'm helping with crafts on the days I can be there, and we were all sitting in the worker break room, eating the marvelous snack of day old vanilla pudding, complete with separated pudding and soggy wafers-yum, and pretzel, chex and animal cracker mix, and a vegetable tray. Oh, I forgot to mention Koolaid to drink. Okay, I hate to be ungrateful, but really? Are these the adult snacks? But this blog is not about the pitiful snacks they supplied, it's about my knowledge of all things.

If I have knowledge on a subject I feel compelled to share it. For instance over Memorial Day my Grandmama Dolly told me I should eat jello so my bones would be strong. This was a revelation to me. I don't particularly like jello. It's okay, but I'd rather have chocolate or any kind of cake or bread....

Returning to topic (once again), my friend April is a vegetarian. She said she refuses to eat jello because it's made from bones. I agreed with her statement. Click here to find out more about gelatin. I had seen it on "How it's Made" I think. I also learned that serving jello used to be a sign of prosperity, and the variety of molds were another symbol of wealth. Interesting, huh?

Plus, at some point in the conversation I also felt the need to tell them that they can pick up channel 5 on their HD converter boxes, but they then have to readjust the picture to pick up all the other channels. Apparently this is inconvenient if you have an antennae on your roof instead of rabbit ears like me....

Will Ferrell was on with Bear Grylls last night in a special episode called "Men vs Wild." It was hilarious as you would expect. However, I also shared that I'm kind of boycotting Will Ferrell since he shared on a talk show that he taught his kid to cuss people out, and that he thinks it's hilarious. Dang it. Why did he have to go and do that?

Let's see...what else did I feel compelled to teach them about?

I learned through another blog that if you really want your curly hair to look good you should stop washing it. That's right! You can find out more here.

I shared that I prefer to use face sticks to keep my little ones' faces from burning. It doesn't run into their eyes like the lotions do (even if it says it won't burn eyes.)


Okay, I shared way more info than that, I'm sure, but it was at the face stick point that my subconscious said "Andi, pipe down! Not everyone on the planet wants to hear your thoughts and opinions! Save it for your blog!" So, I did. I shut up and tried to devote the rest of the day to listening and not sharing....Can you believe it? Me neither, but I really did try!

Pinkie promise!