Saturday, March 7, 2009

How to Tell if Your Husband is a Redneck

Not that I ever had any questions about mine...But if your hubby displays similar behavior...Take my word for it...He's a true redneck!

So, I was sitting in my recliner blogging (of course) when Studmuffin got home from work. He was rattling the front knob, and trying to frantically unlock it. By the time I peeled my worthless tookus out of my chair, he was in, had dropped his stuff on the floor, had shouted "There's a coyote in the back yard!" and headed to the bedroom for his......GUN!!!

He appeared a few minutes later totin' his gun and calls. I stayed in the house to watch the excitement through the window. I could see the coyote in the field behind us. He was trotting up the fence line west of us, heading north (away from the house.) The Canadian geese are back. They were just north of our house. I could hear Studmuffin using his call. The coyote would slow down, look over his shoulder, and resume his trot into town. However, when the geese heard the call, they would all stand up and look at our house. The dogs were pretty excited by the noise too. The coyote was too weary of our house and although the was interested, he wasn't trusting Studmuffin's wounded animal sounds.

I, of course, lost interest and went to gather up some laundry. I passed back through the living room to discover this:

Studmuffin was standing in the house watching the coyote walk all the way into town. He stopped at a pond, then Studmuffin lost track of him. Yep, you might be a redneck if you use your rifle scope to watch wildlife through your living room window!

I think I encountered this same wily fellow nearly every morning last summer. He was younger then, and he would walk right through my back yard every morning as I would be out weeding my flower beds. However, on the weekends, when Studmuffin was sitting on the porch with his gun loaded and ready for action, he never passed by. Yep, he's on to Studmuffin's game. We'll see who comes out the winner in the end!

Hey, and for anyone who noticed my bare gazebo...I DO NOT recommend gazebos with cloth covers for Oklahoma. The previous owners had purchased the one we have the fall of 'o7, and anchored it to the concrete slab in the back. The frame stayed put, but the cover didn't last through the summer. The wind tore it to bits....Now we're trying to decide what to do about it. Buy a heavier canvas? Cover it with a light weight wood for an arbor effect? Tear it down and build an arbor out of lumber and relocate the gazebo to a different area of the yard?

Of course, we are in the middle of trying to get a fence built for the backyard, and getting a garden in. The porch cover is on the back burner for now...But it's still something I think about. Oh well, these rambles are for another day........


Anonymous said...

Look into outdoor screen(actually I think it is called shade screen or something) at your favorite place, Lowe's. It is in the garden center. We used it for our patio. I sewed curtains with it using outdoor fabric for border. To make the "walls, we stretched it between 1x1's. The sell differend hardware to attach it to different objects. If Studmuffin has to come back this way, tell him to stop by and take a look.

Studmuffins favorite cousin in TX!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, it is me could plant grape vines in pots and train them to grow on it????

Becky said...

LOL abuot your redneck husband. I have a similar story about actually shooting out a window... at deer... um, it may have been illegal so I will email it, lol.

About the gazebo... I would put a pot(at least 12" in diameter) by each support and plant Morning glory seeds. You can do a few different colors or all the same. They grow so fast your gazebo would be covered in no time.

I planted some last year and, by golly, I loved them so much I'm gonna put them all over the place. They die back in the winter, at least here, but they are toxic in a hallucinogenic way so wear gloves for removing.

Marilyn said...

What a funny little family that I have. We still have some prairie dogs for the great white redneck hunter.
Hey the morning thing would be a great idea. Wouldn't that be pretty. Better get to planting them. You could also plant some clementis. they don't die back, but are dormant in the winter.