Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Skivvies: A Universal Question




Tighty Whities.




I'm sure I missed a few names for them, but they all refer to one thing. That's what we're going to be covering today. Those of you with more tender sensibilities may want to move on. Remember, I'm a nurse. Very little surprises or offends me. You can't say I didn't warn you.

Here we go.

Last night Studmuffin and I were curled up on the couch watching "Rules of Engagement." I love that show. It has one of my favorite actors, David Warburton, in it. I love when he played David Putty on "Seinfeld." I loved him as the voice of Kronk in "The Emperor's New Groove." I love his voice, his facial expressions, and his sense of timing with his lines. He is just hilarious. If you've missed this sitcom, I recommend you try and catch it next week.

Last night the newly married couple on the show (sorry, can't remember their names and I'm too darn lazy to look it up right now) went camping on the rooftop of their building in New York. The wife hated the thought of camping and the husband was trying to convince her of the romance of it. Anyway, the main thing you need to know is this:

At the end of the show the hubby ends up getting freaked out and runs screaming into the building in his underwear and wife beater shirt. Studmuffin said "Why is she fully dressed, and he's in his underwear?"

HELLOOOO! Of course the woman is dressed nice and warm, and the man is clothed in as little as possible!!!

"Because men refuse to wear anything but underwear to bed. They claim it is too constricting, and uncomfortable. For example: Camping in October when it's in the 30s every night. What did you wear? Your underwear. What did you do? Cram up against me the entire night and complained of being cold. What do you do every night? Complain of being cold and pile on a million covers. What do I do? Wear flannel pajamas....."

And on and on and on I went. Verbosity lends for wonderful nagging abilities, I'm tellin' ya! So, here's the deal, my cosmic question that I may never have answered, because I am a female. I will never fully understand the strange tendencies of men. But I must ask the question anyway........................................

At what point does the transition occur? I know all parents put their babies in nice warm jammies. I know that little boys get pjs for Christmas. But, not being a mother of boys, I'm confused. At what point, exactly, do they decide that pajamas are too confining for their testosterone levels? When do they decide that pajamas are not only uncomfortable, but somehow are a threat to their manhood? Do they have to reach a certain age where a special skivvy hormone is released that bars them from ever being able to sleep in pajamas again?

Studmuffin said it happens after marriage. At least it did for him. He always wore gym shorts to bed until then. Now, no matter how cold he is, he WILL NOT wear pajamas to bed. I told him that he refuses to wear them because he's always gambling that it will be "the night." You know what I mean, Gentle Reader. I'm sorry if I offend your tender sensibilities here, but that has to be the sole reason that men abandon pajamas at marriage. They are hoping that at any moment they will get to, err, express their love in a, ummmm, physical sense. So, they do not dare wear pajamas because this may somehow reduce their chances of getting lucky that night.

Anyway, that's my theory....

But again, what do I know? I'm just a female and will never be capable of fully understanding the male brain.....But I'm pretty sure I'm right!


Becky said...

Um, my boy is 5... NOT married that I know of and he sleeps in his undies about one night out of three. He will go to bed with pjs on but wake up in the undies.

My Love sleeps in...um... less than skivvies and did so even before we were married.

I'm not sure sleeping in underwear is just a man thing. I have shunned jammies since junior high... just don't like it.... makes me feel tangled.

So there you go... thats my story and I'm stickin to it.

Mandy said...

I have three little boys. Ages 6, 4, and 1. My six year old all ready sleeps in his underwear most of the time. He has pj's usually wears them only in the winter. He says that he sleeps like that because daddy does and I am pretty sure you hit the nail on the head about why grown married men sleep like this!