Friday, July 31, 2009

The Speed Limit is a Suggestion Part 3

Did you miss the first two installments of this story? Please, please go back and read about them before continuing....Here is Part One and here is Part 2.....Thank you.

Fast forward another year. I was going to college at Southwestern Oklahoma State University. Studmuffin was going to Northwestern Oklahoma State University. He had came to visit me, and watch me in a musical I was in. On Saturday we had decided to go into "The City" to run around. I volunteered to take my car. It was a 1993 bright red Ford Tempo stick shift. I loved that car. It ran like a rocket and got amazing gas mileage. I kept immaculate oil change and gas records. (This is generally a good idea when you drive like I did.) When we traded it in, I was looking back through my log book and realized I got 45 miles to the gallon with that little car. No joke.

Anyway, we were driving down I-40 to The City. Oklahoma doesn't have a lot of money for highway patrolmen, so they use airplanes. The plane will fly overhead and time your speed over a certain distance, then notify a unit on the ground of any offenders. Of course, i was pulled over. I have to say, I was more than a little concerned. I was no longer in my daddy's stomping grounds. I wasn't sure he had even been to The City in a few years, so the odds were not good that I could play the daddy card..."Young lady, do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Well, when I saw you pull in behind me, I looked at my speedometer and I was going 83." Stick to honesty and smiles....It was all I had left without my daddy's influence to hide under.

"We're using the plane today, and he averaged your speed at 86mph." Average. Okay. This means that over a several mile period I averaged 86mph. Sometimes faster, sometimes slower. Call me crazy, but this did not bode well for me. Studmuffin was overjoyed. Finally, I was going to get my just desserts for all of the rocketing around the great state of Oklahoma I'd been doing....

"Keep your speed down." That was all he said, then he literally ran to his car, jumped in, and took off like a bullet after a car that had just zoomed past us.

"I can't believe it!" Studmuffin was annoyed. "That is so unfair. 'Oh, look at the girl in the cute little red car with the big smile. I'm not going to give her a ticket.' This is ridiculous."

Well, Dear Reader, I was flabbergasted too. I could not believe Studmuffin was upset that I DIDN'T get a ticket. What the heck was wrong with him?

Fast forward another year. I have continued on my speeding spree, and continued to be successful in avoiding anything but warnings. By this time I had transferred to NWOSU to be with Studmuffin. We could no longer handle the extended separation, so I transferred to be with him. After all, he was a senior in college and had a lot more to lose than I did with a transfer at this point. To top it off, my best friend was willing to transfer with me, so I had a roommate and partner in shenanigans at my side!

The speed limit had just received a drastic bump. 70mph on the interstate, and 60 or 65 on other roads, depending on the terrain. I was absolutely ecstatic. This meant I could drive fast and not be breaking the law nearly as badly! However, word on the street was, you had better not exceed that limit by 5mph, or they were going to issue tickets.

I was on my way back to college after spending the weekend at my sister's house. I worked weekends in her home town as a nurses aide at the regional hospital. Of course I was in a hurry. Before I knew it I saw the pretty lights flashing in my rear view mirror. Darn it. Oh well, I better get my game face on.

"Young lady, do you know how fast you were going?"

I turned to offer my biggest, most sparkling smile....And came face to chest with a.....

WOMAN HIGHWAY PATROLMAN!!! (hear Psycho scream and music in the background)

I tried to be charming. I stuck to friendliness and honesty.....

The cranky witch gave me a ticket. For a measly 73 mph when the speed limit was clearly 65 on that stretch of road.

It took an effort, but I maintained my friendly disposition....

When I got to school one of my friends from down the street dropped in. Brian was a great guy. He had beautiful eyes that always seemed to be laughing and a huge smile that made you want to smile back. I shared my tale of woe to him. He began to laugh. I did not appreciate this response.

It turns out Brian had arrived in town about 45 minutes before me. He too had been pulled over on the same stretch of road by the same female officer....

Only she gave him a smile and a warning with the admonition, "Keep it down...This time I'm only giving you a warning." The injustice. And he was going faster than I was! The nerve! The very idea of it all! That was totally not fair! The only reason he didn't get a ticket was because he was a guy, and he had a great smile! I was sure of it!

When Studmuffin dropped by, Brian shared our adventures with him. I know you are surprised to find that he found the whole thing hilarious, and said I got what I deserved. I'm sure you can understand, Gentle Reader, my feelings of betrayal.

So, there you have it. The speed limit is truly only a suggestion. If you are a girl with a daddy who is well liked, the speed limit is a little higher for you. If you are a girl who is willing to be honest, friendly, and okay maybe a teeny tiny tad flirty, the speed limit may be higher for you. However, if you are a girl who is getting pulled over by a female officer, the speed limit is the speed limit, end of story.

1 comment:

Dawn said...

Ha! I've been stopped 4 times in my life and gotten 2 tickets! I'm evidently not flirty enough!