Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Well! Butter my butt and call me a biscuit!



Jaime over at Ditchin' the Kitchen nominated me for an award! Isn't that just too sweet?

I have a couple of obligations I have to fulfill with this award. What? Obligations! I want something for nothing! What is this world coming too?! I thought I lived in the world of government handouts where I can simply open my hand and good old Uncle Sam will cut me a check to bail me out of all of my problems...

Hellooooo! Uncle Sam? I have a few problems here. Could you fix them for me? I've decided to kick the boot strap theory to the curb and simply wait for you to solve all of my problems. I realize you are dealing with war and other piffles, but if you could just right me one eensy weensy check I will be good to go...

Anyhoo, I'm supposed to fulfill these obligations. And since Jaime is so sweet, I'll do it. Just for her, of course. Oh, and also because I'm pretty sure this is one step closer to me reaching world fame....

Okay, from what I understand, I'm supposed to share seven interesting facts about myself, then give the award to seven interesting bloggers. Kind of like a chain letter. Only the good kind, because I'm pretty sure Jaime isn't going to be throwing any hexes on me if I don't complete the chain...

Let's begin with seven interesting facts about myself...

Thinking, thinking, thinking....

Are there any interesting facts I haven't told you about myself? Are there any facts I haven't told you about myself period? I gotta say, I'm at a loss....

Thinking, thinking, thinking...

1. OH! I have one, that my family knows, but it's possible not all 2.3 of my followers have figured out: I'm not sentimental. Nope. I cringe at every sweet, sappy email I receive that tells me how wonderful and special I am...And those prayers you pray for the person that sent it to you? Hold on to your hats, but I delete those. Not only without praying the prayers, but usually without reading them...I just give them a quick skim to make sure it's not a real prayer concern, then delete it... I don't buy sappy cards. I don't watch sappy movies. I don't read books that I know will make me cry. Granted, I have mistakenly read books that I did not realize were going to make me cry and have bawled like a baby. But, if I know it will make me cry, I usually avoid it.

2. Going with the book thing, I hate to read books that are "must reads." I also hate to read books that will "change my life." Yep, if my friends or the media tell me it's a great book and will change the way I look at my life, or some event, or whatever, I'm instantly put off. I know. I'm shallow. I want to read for sheer entertainment and escape. I don't want to be a better person, I don't want to live a better life, and I don't want to "have my best life now." That being said, I do read my Bible. I try to read it every morning (feeling pricked by the Spirit since I overslept and didn't get in my devotion, yet here I sit pounding out a blog).

3. I'm very cranky when I wake up. Very. Cranky. I am an early riser, and I like to have at least 30 minutes alone before anyone else in my family stirs. An hour is even better. To be completely honest, I am downright angry with them when they get up before I'm ready for them to be. I try to be secretive about it, but there is some definite anger there...

4. I originally wanted 6 kids. That's right, six kids. I have two, and stick a fork in me, I'm done, done, done! A big part of our decision was due to the difficulty I had with pregnancy. I was not a good pregnant person. I didn't glow. I didn't blossom...I puked. And puked. And then I puked some more. For 40 weeks straight with each kid. I puked 24 hours a day. I would wake up in the dead of night to puke....I puked all the way through labor. Literally. I puked until that baby popped out. And then I stopped. It was pretty amazing. My delivery nurse with my oldest said she had never seen anyone throw up so much in her life. Especially someone who had not even eaten...It was crazy. No, I wasn't glowing. I was dry and shriveled with cracked and bleeding lips and a raw esophagus from the continuous puking. So, that had a big impact on my decision to have more kids. When I was pregnant with Popcorn, it was all I could do to take care of Bookworm on my days off. Not to mention the quality of care I was giving my patients at work. Yes, I continued to work. I became quite adept at calmly telling my patients, "excuse me, I'll be right back," and either sprinting down the hall to puke, or in a moment of crisis, I would puke in their bathroom...Talk about awkward! The looks I would get from some of my patients! Poor things...Anyway, with that level of illness, I kept thinking that there would be an easier time to get pregnant and take care of my kids....There's more to it than that, but the illness was definitely a factor!

5. How about a quick conversation between Popcorn & I? I went in to wake her up and found her already dressed and her bed made. It turns out that when she woke up and saw the sun up she freaked out and thought we had all overslept and was afraid she'd missed the bus. I had today off, so I was driving them to school...

Me: However, that means you have time to snuggle with me for a minute!

Popcorn starts to lay down next to me, glances at the little slash of skin exposed between my flannel pj bottoms and cotton top, then quickly looks away...

Me: Are you embarrassed to see my belly?

P: No. I just noticed the pull places on your skin.

Pull places? What does she mean? I take a gander for myself....

She was talking about my stretch marks! Yes, my 8 year old is disturbed by the sight of my stretch marks...

Is that an interesting fact? I doubt it. I think everyone who had babies has stretch marks, and if you don't I don't want to know...

6. I'll revisit some old posts for number 6. I think rules are very important. I become very angry when people break rules...Unless I think the rules are stupid. Then I think they are just a suggestion. Like the speed limit. Learn all about that here.

7. And last, but certainly not least, I am a big fat mooch. You can learn about the full extent of that here.


So, there you have it. More than you ever needed to know about me...

Thanks, Jaime for the award! Now, to think of 7 bloggers who deserve to not only be awarded, but punished with a homework assignment....

1. How about a new blogger? Go check out Paulette. She's a friend from high school who is hilarious, and on an unrelated note has hair so curly mine looks straight!

2. Let's go for the Freckled Hen...She is super crafty. So I secretly hate her, since I can never ever measure up to her, but her creations are loads of fun to look at! I look at her stuff and say, "Wow, if I weren't so lazy I would totally have a mannequin to pin my wonderful creations to!"

3. I would nominate my sister, but she would totally kill me if I gave her another labor intensive "award" so I won't, but you should check her out anyway. She's funny. She's organized. She's a librarian and she's my big sister. What's not to love?

4. Then there's my niece Sarah, who is taking 20 hours of college this semester. And she has a photography business, and she is uber busy. But, she has great photos and great thoughts, and you totally need to hire her for any photos you may need taken!

5. I recently discovered the Park Wife. She is loads of fun, with bats in her house, not in her belfry, and you really should check her out!

Okay, starting to sweat here...I guess I need to branch out on my following, because I just don't know if I know enough people who know me, and even care if I nominate them....Let's see, who to give homework to...I mean give an award to...I've got to keep that straight!

6. How about Mindy, at the Suburban Life? She is the mom to an adorable girl who wears skanky mini skirts to school, and a boy who cleans up his own poopy diapers! I'm pretty sure that makes us two peas in a pod. Go check her out. You will definitely get a chuckle...

Has anyone noticed the emphasis on laughter here? I told you I'm not sentimental! Give me laughter!!!

7. Well, I'm gonna give Mom some homework. Even though her computer's broken. Even though she lives 26 miles from the nearest town, so this could be a tad inconvenient for her. She always taught me that learning to overcome obstacles is character building, and I know you're never too old to build character...So, go learn about life on the ranch from surviving blizzards to keeping wasps for pets. You're guaranteed to have fun over at the Sand Creek Ranch.


WHEW! My homework assignment is complete! Now, I'm off to do housework, as I haven't fully trained the new nanny....

But I'm working on her!

P.S. Did you remember I have another sister? She is actually a professional story teller! Don't you wish she'd get a blog and quit pretending she's too busy? Don't you wish she'd share all of her fascinating stories with you? Yeah, me too...

8 comments:

Jaime Kubik said...

I think this was your best post yet! (You had me rolling sister!) I too was a puker...I hated when people found out I was pregnant and would say stuff like, 'Isn't it just amazing? What a wonderful time in your life!" I seriously wanted to puke on them when they would say stuff like that. I had to be hospitalized for all my puking...how about you? When my first one was born and they showed me my son, I looked at him and then vomited into a bucket. I told my husband he could get one more kid out of me, but anymore than that, he was going to have to find another wife! I too also hate people without stretch marks. I'd really like to hate my dear cousin as she has three kids a no evidence of the pregnancies, but unfortunately, I've loved her all my life and can't seem to stop now just because of her lack of marks! But everyone else is automatically placed on my poopy list!

Loved the post and the blogs you suggested! Thanks for the laugh!

The Park Wife said...

On behalf of the blogging academy, I accept this award with thanks to all my bloggy readers, all four of you are very special to me, and to my husband who ignores me when I laugh at my own blog. And, of course to you Andi for thinking of me.

Now.....HOMEWORK????? I am a bit of a procrastinator, but I will get going on it.

Paulette said...

Well, my dear, thanks for the award. I will add it to my list of homework to do and because I am OCD about completing tasks and not having clutter, I will get right on it. Darn you, Andi, you hit my weak spot.

This a belated "Oh Hunny" (because we were not in contact when you were pregnant). Bless it, I hate it that you were so sick. I puked often but mostly in the evening, when I smelled coffee, tasted toothpaste. You know, I don't think I have ever known anyone to vomit as much as you did. Have you check the Guinness records on puking while pregnant and during delivery to boot?! Wow...

After Rachel was born, I was so distraught with the way my body looked I just knew it would never come back. And, I was right, it did not. Well, not totally. I went from a B cup to a D cup and my the stretchmarks, good Lord have mercy. Fortunately the abdominoplasty took care of most of those except for the boobs. Dad gum it!

Well, on to my "homework" assignment and,I too, graciously accept this award, I think...

:)

Paulette said...

Chicopee,

Your post is fabulous. I smiled, laughed and smiled some more. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing.

Cheers

A~

Brent said...

I remember you puking in the driveway of a very nice house in Arlington while we were house hunting.

Also, I cannot believe how the noise echoed through the whole appartment when you would let it fly. It is like you yell or hollar when you are in the moment.

mindy@thesuburbanlife said...

Thanks!!! An award! During Olympic season...somehow it seems even more special! Oh, and thanks for the homework. I think I've been staying at home with the kids too long...it actually sounds kind of exciting. =)
Mindy
www.thesuburbanlife.com

Freckled Hen said...

Thanks for the award and for the nice stuff you said...I feel unworthy!
I liked the facts about you--but wow on the pregnancy stuff. Make sure you tell your kids everyday all you went through. Kids love it when their parents do that!

Marilyn said...

So what is it that I am suppossed to write about that no one else knows about. Did you know that I was marrired to the President???? The president of the local school board that is. And I too was sorry that you were so sick and I would have loved to have all of those grandchildren, but would I have been able to spoil all of them???