Slovenly

That's what I am.

I sit here typing this post in my hand me down shorts with the word Sooner written across the derriere (cuz I'm so classy) and a red tank top that's at least 3 years old. No make up. Hair in pony tail.

I wonder why my kids dress sloppy, in t-shirts with holes and prefer to wear cut off jeans to new shorts?

Wednesday, the big storm day, I had lots to do.

I had to take the dogs to the vet, meet with the roofer, do housework, go to the store, pay bills, chat with my mother in law, who is still cooped up in the hospital most of the time with my father in law. (He's improving, but I know she enjoys a new face to chat with. At least that's what I tell myself as I talk her ear off.) And, Studmuffin asked me to mow the lawn.

Did you know I literally broke into the "Hallelujah Chorus" when it started raining around 8:30 am?

And, I had to be at an awards assembly at 1:30.

In all my plans for the day, I paid no attention to what Popcorn put on.

I was slightly dismayed to see her in cut offs and an old school t shirt with her hair in a messy pony tail. I told myself it didn't matter. She's in second grade. She just wants to be comfy and have fun...

Because, clearly, you can't look cute and be comfy and have fun.

Please do not disabuse me of my notions.

Then, I noticed all the kids around her in obviously spanking new outfits. I was sitting between two "have it all together" mom's from church. They both talked about how they pick out all of their kids clothes.

Confession: I haven't dressed my kids since they were about three.

I wish I could say I was lying.

But I'm not.

Then, April decided to take pictures of DeDe and I, since her flash was giving her trouble.

It was at this exact moment that I realized something.

In all of my scrambling to scratch everything off of my to do list, I hadn't showered. I had on not one scrap of makeup. My hair was in a messy unwashed pony tail. I just noticed dog hair all over my shirt. I was wearing a tank top and shorts that my sister Dawn bullied me into buying the summer we moved into this house. That would be the summer of 2008. The tank top is egg plant purple. I think I got it from Walmart. The shorts are navy blue from American Eagle, and we had went to buy my nieces clothes. Dawn made me try some on, and I left with two pairs of shorts.

I have not bought any shorts since.

However, I have gotten two "new" pairs of shorts as hand me ups from my niece Sarah.

The question for you, Gentle Reader is this: Why are my children such sloppy dressers?

And, yet another question of perhaps higher importance is this: How does one get on the show "What Not to Wear?"

And, can my fragile ego withstand the humiliation of a nomination and acceptance to the show?