Monday, May 24, 2010


That's what I am.

I sit here typing this post in my hand me down shorts with the word Sooner written across the derriere (cuz I'm so classy) and a red tank top that's at least 3 years old. No make up. Hair in pony tail.

I wonder why my kids dress sloppy, in t-shirts with holes and prefer to wear cut off jeans to new shorts?

Wednesday, the big storm day, I had lots to do.

I had to take the dogs to the vet, meet with the roofer, do housework, go to the store, pay bills, chat with my mother in law, who is still cooped up in the hospital most of the time with my father in law. (He's improving, but I know she enjoys a new face to chat with. At least that's what I tell myself as I talk her ear off.) And, Studmuffin asked me to mow the lawn.

Did you know I literally broke into the "Hallelujah Chorus" when it started raining around 8:30 am?

And, I had to be at an awards assembly at 1:30.

In all my plans for the day, I paid no attention to what Popcorn put on.

I was slightly dismayed to see her in cut offs and an old school t shirt with her hair in a messy pony tail. I told myself it didn't matter. She's in second grade. She just wants to be comfy and have fun...

Because, clearly, you can't look cute and be comfy and have fun.

Please do not disabuse me of my notions.

Then, I noticed all the kids around her in obviously spanking new outfits. I was sitting between two "have it all together" mom's from church. They both talked about how they pick out all of their kids clothes.

Confession: I haven't dressed my kids since they were about three.

I wish I could say I was lying.

But I'm not.

Then, April decided to take pictures of DeDe and I, since her flash was giving her trouble.

It was at this exact moment that I realized something.

In all of my scrambling to scratch everything off of my to do list, I hadn't showered. I had on not one scrap of makeup. My hair was in a messy unwashed pony tail. I just noticed dog hair all over my shirt. I was wearing a tank top and shorts that my sister Dawn bullied me into buying the summer we moved into this house. That would be the summer of 2008. The tank top is egg plant purple. I think I got it from Walmart. The shorts are navy blue from American Eagle, and we had went to buy my nieces clothes. Dawn made me try some on, and I left with two pairs of shorts.

I have not bought any shorts since.

However, I have gotten two "new" pairs of shorts as hand me ups from my niece Sarah.

The question for you, Gentle Reader is this: Why are my children such sloppy dressers?

And, yet another question of perhaps higher importance is this: How does one get on the show "What Not to Wear?"

And, can my fragile ego withstand the humiliation of a nomination and acceptance to the show?


Dawn said...

so are you saying you want us to secretly video you in all your slovenliness, write an essay about how you need wardrobe help and send it in. It should be clear that none of your family members (well, me) should show up on said video because they might make it a 'family edition' of what not to wear.... :) word verification: caliber--we are not of the caliber of people who are concerned about appearance...

Taylor said...

I think you get like 5 grand for new clothes on that show. Now that would be swell!!

Marilyn said...

Oh but you did buy new dresses and SHOES. Some things are just comfortable. you know I couldn't wait to put jeans on after graduation yesterday. Are you not at work?

Paulette said...


I can completely relate. I hate to shop and when I do, I know exactly what I am looking for! I did buy a new pair of sandals yesterday and it did feel pretty good. Rachel always, always dresses trendy and I am comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt or short and the same. In fact, my daughter, God love her, told me I really should appy for the 'What not to wear' show. I would love to do it and would in a heart beat but someone else would have to nominate me. HEY! Perhaps I could nominate you and you me! Whatcha think? After all 5K in new clothes would be fabulous and spending a gifted 5k on clothes is much easier than spending ones own money on clothes. I tend to pinch pennies on my clothing but not my daughters. I mean, what the heck, it is just jeans and a t-shirt. My 'work clothes' hang neatly but fortunately I can get by with the old comfy clothes.

Paulette said...

Consider yourself nominated! I am doing it now!


Freckled Hen said...

It's painful for me to comment on this post as I am wearing 10 year old brown shorts that have paint spatters on them and the shirt I slept in. So, uh, you should really clean up your act. I mean your only young once. Soon enough you will be all wrinkly with saggy bits. Golly!

PS I write like I know you so I hope you aren't offended. You make me laugh!

Paulette said...

Andi, you are officially nominated And yes, I included several pictures of you and your fashion sense...

I must say that in all seriousness life goes beyond fine clothes and fancy jewelry. Although, it would be nice to have a great line of clothing for back up!

I am guilty as Freckled Hen in wearing clothing that has seen better days...

Good luck to ya!


Sarah Castor said...

Haha! If they take my hand-me ups to you and say they are bad they should give me some shopping money just cuz... well... they should! Haha! Love you!