Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I'm Going with Flattered.

My friend Amy took my Slovenly post to heart.

What a gal.

What a pal.

She nominated me for What Not to Wear.

WHAT???



Well. Apparently you can go 10 years without seeing a person, and still be able to nominate them from the show.

Quite successfully.

Don't you need secret video or photos or some such folderol?

I asked her if I'm supposed to be horrified or flattered.

Since it comes with a five thousand dollar shopping spree if I'm selected, I decided to go with flattered.

However, after reviewing the photos she attached, I'm ashamed.

HORRIFIED.

She got all except one photo for her nomination from my very own blog.

Dadgummit.

Well! I decided to copy and post her email, which she forwarded to me, so that you could see the level of horrification that I now have.

Don't you love when I totally make up words? I should have said mortification. But, I think if you all join with me, horrification will totally be added to Webster's right along with defriend from facebook!

Anyhoo, here's her email:

To Whom It May Concern,

Below is a blog link about my friend Andrea - aka- Andi. Andi and I grew up together and graduated from Laverne High School, Laverne, Oklahoma in 1994. As a doting mother and fabulous nurse she neglects herself and is in dire need of some assistance. I am using her recent blog post as evidence of such circumstances.

Here is the link: http://andi-rambling.blogspot.com/2010/05/slovenly.html


I just read her post and thought, I absolutely must nominate Andi. She, like me, rarely shops and tends to wear clothes that are "hand-me ups". Her focus is her family, her job and her home all the while her waredrobe is suffering substantially.

Can you help her? Better yet, please help her. I have attached photos for visual reference. I have also attached a photo of Andi and I in our show choir uniforms, 1992.

Here is her contact information.

Removed for privacy



Age: 34



Height: 5' 9" Good guess. I'm really 5'7"



Weight: Removed for my own pride. And cause she underguessed it. Bless her heart.



Occupation: RN



Marital Status: Married



Two Children



Personality: Warm, Caring, Energetic,



Her Style: Used and noncomplementary



See her post regarding her style at: http://andi-rambling.blogspot.com/2010/05/slovenly.html





My contact information is as follows:



Removed for privacy



I am pleading, please help my friend, Andrea Rambler embrace her outer beauty so it works in harmony with the inner beauty we all know and love.



Kind Regards,



Amy


Since I've already shared them with you, I guess I'll review with you the humiliating evidence.



Let's begin with this picture. Other than the obvious problem of an angel sprouting from my head, I don't see the problem.

Unless you count that the shirt is the only thing I purchased myself.

I get lots of compliments on those shoes. I admit they look grandmotherly-ish in this photo, but I'm sure it's the photo, not the shoes. Right? Surely people wouldn't comment at all if they were awful.

Or would they?

I'm confused.

But that skirt is a classic. It is a hand me down from my grandmother. No kidding. It went from her to Dawn, then Paula, and now me. It's still in perfect condition, and it cost a fortune when it was new! So, what is wrong with it? I don't know.

I'm still confused.


Okay, now this photo is a no brainer. Those pants are a good 9 years old. They have holes and paint splatters. Half the back pocket is torn off.

But I love them.

If Clinton & Stacey try to take them, I will have to weep.

And, perhaps the smashed boob sports bra look with the tight long sleeve tee is not the best look for me.

Perhaps I will agree whole heartedly with the use of this photo in said nomination.

There. I concede total defeat on this picture.


But this photo?

Come on!

What could possibly be wrong with this picture?

Do I not look outdoorsy and ready to tackle the Grand Canyon in all it's grand-ness?

Have you heard of people dying from heat stroke in the canyon? The hat is a necessity!

It is cool on the rim, so the jacket is a necessity, and it's lightweight so I could shed it easily and stuff in my backpack for the hike!

Aaaaand, for your information, I still own and wear those shorts! From 2006!

What could possibly be wrong with any tiny part of this outfit!?

Apparently, I'm very challenged indeed, if I don't understand the problem! I'm sure to be a shoo in at this rate!

Now, if she had chosen to use this outfit, I totally would get it.

But, that was all done in the name of creativity.

And laughter.

Okay, and maybe a smidgen of shamelessness.

Please, go read this post if you've somehow missed it. I beg of you.

Click. I know you are tired of my rambliness, and want to move on, but just do it, Okay?

Thank you.

The End.

11 comments:

Dawn said...

If you are chosen for what not to wear, please in the name of all that is holy and good (to quote another blogger...) DO NOT TAKE THE SKIRT from Grandma Irene. DO NOT TAKE IT....If Stacey and what's his name should trash it, I would be truly heartbroken!

Sarah Castor said...

HAHA! THAT IS AWESOME! I hope you get chosen! That would be too fun!

gianna said...

You are HILARIOUS! I am totally like you with clothes. I don't have a style. Well, okay, my style is that I put clothes on to cover my body. (that's actually not my quote. I have a great friend who is just like us--until she is given money to go buy some clothes for a cruise she gets to go on). Anyway, You are stinkin' funny!

Paulette said...

Andi,

Heh hum, you really are quite fun, and besides, since you had so many laughs at my expense (which I love) I think it was time to pay it forward. :)

Unlike you, I take horrible photos. I look like I am gonna kick someones butt. In fact, my mother, God love her, nominated me for What Not to Wear. I chose flattered because otherwise I would have sobbed in my pillow.

Good luck!

A~

thelumberjackswife said...

Andi!
This news is fantastic!
Please be on this show and I will wear my comfy sweats, eat a whole bag of popcorn, and watch you!

Jaime Kubik said...

Ever get a comment that sounds like a compliment, but really it's not?? Still, the shopping spree would be SO MUCH FUN!!! You must let us know if you make it! We'll all have to watch and make it the most watched "What Not To Wear" episode ever!!

Paulette said...

My mom nominated me about a week ago, so we shall see what happens... And, just so you know, the pictures submitted of me were horrible. In fact, I begged my mother not to do it but she insisted.

Besides, Andi, you know you love the attention and would have a fantabulous time!

:)

Marilyn said...

You are so right about that attention. Well, good lucka to both of you and I will be excited if you get a new wardrobe.

LB's Sewing Sanity said...

Oh my goodness you made me smile. You are a beautiful woman and must be a joy to know to be able to repost this about yourself. I think I would have crawled in a deep dark hole if my sisters or a friend posted this about me! thanks for sharing!

mindy@thesuburbanlife said...

You're hilarious, and, to be honest, not quite up to par with the typical fashion victim on that show. However. Once they see the "smashed in sports-bra boob look" they may reconsider. That drives Stacey nuts. Good luck! :)
Mindy
www.thesuburbanlife.com

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