Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Red Neckedness

Last Friday, at roughly 6:45am when the sun was just starting to give some light to the world, I heard Kelsey begin to bark. It was her "I'm a big dog and you better watch out because I can totally take you" bark.  Or something like that...I don't actually speak dog, but if I did, I'm pretty sure this is how she'd talk. 

I was standing at the sink in our kitchen, admiring the view out my front yard waiting patiently for my cup of coffee to finish.  My mind was wandering.

"I'm really glad I bought that three dollar tube bird feeder to hang out this window.  It seems to make the bird seed go further.  And I get to watch birds directly out my window.  I wish there were birds out there right now.  I wonder when the hummingbirds will come back?  Where will I hang this feeder when I put out my nectar feeder?  It will have to be some place that I can see easily.  And Kelsey can't catch the birds.  That limits my possibilities...."

I heard Studmuffin come through the living room, and say something to me, in a hushed voice.  I didn't bother to turn around as I heard the back door open and close.  I was pretty sure he was going to tell the dog "shut up" and I had not been awake long enough to engage anyone in conversation.

I am NOT a morning person.

Just as I picked up my fresh brewed cup of Donut Shoppe coffee, I hear "Bam!  Bam!"  What in the world?  I turned around, cup of life's blood thankfully unspilled, and firmly grasped in my hand to the back door opening.  My husband burst through the door, with his gun on his hip...

"What are you doing?  You don't even have shoes on!"

"I woke up to Kelsey barking, looked out our window and four coyotes were in the yard.  I thought I'd try and shoot them before they were gone."

I perused his appearance...

"Do you think you could at least have bothered to put some clothes on?"

Yes, Gentle Reader.  I know you find such shenanigans distressing and that you are clutching your chest in shock and bewilderment.  My husband went out to shoot at coyotes.  At 6:45 am.  Without his shoes on.  In his UNDERWEAR!!!

"Did you at least shoot one?"

"Nah.  It was too dark.  I couldn't see them through the scope." 

Strange that.  He couldn't see the coyotes at dawn in a scope that is not night vision...In fact it is a scope that he bought at Gibson's in 1984.  Or somewhere around there.  Either way.

That thing wasn't helping him bring down any predators at 6:45am.

In his underwear.

Oh, and I know you are just dying to know what he loudly whispered to me:  You're gonna want to blog this!

He knows me so well.


circle retreat quilter said...

That made me laugh so hard. God Bless these crazy men, they truly are from Mars.

Crazy Sister said...

Holy moley.

I'm truly at loss for words.

Freckled Hen said...

Thanks for the smile! I'll bet those coyotes ran away real fast!

NaomiG said...

HAHAHAH! He's lucky you didn't grab the camera. I know I would have tried for it for sure. :-) That's awesome. We have deer here, and a few mountain lion sightings, and we can hear the coyotes, but we've never seen them around our house.

Me said...

Thank you for making me laugh loud and long everyday!!!! "Here's your sign" by jeff foxworthy is written all over this LOL!!!!!

Jen said...

Hilarious. (I'm not a morning person either.)

Kris said...

I say that uncle Brent is perectly logical in trying to shoot the coyotes! I mean really, the fact hes inhis underware mkes sense;he clearly didnt have time to put any pants on, as the coyotes got away anyways (: