Monday, February 21, 2011

Chocolate and Tattoos

I have so much to tell you about!

My new washer, nursery drama, redneck moments...However, today I will just give you a blip of the stuff jostling in my brain to get out.

First, I will share an epiphany with you.  I have a frequent flier patient who is 25 years old.  He has kidney failure, lung problems, and circulatory issues, and he is a train wreck.  He likes heavy gold jewelry.  You know the kind with giant links and huge crosses?  That's his type of jewelry.  He is covered in tattoos.  He has a Nike swoosh on his back and lots of Chinese emblems, and of course a barb wire around his bicep.  The PA Sonya asked him about the one on his right pectoral the other day as she was preparing to place a catheter to drain a fluid collection from around his lung...

"It says destroy. Because my body is destroying itself."

He has no tendency towards drama or neediness.

Oh.  Did I mention he is blind?

Why would a blind man cover himself in tattoos?  How does he know what he's getting?  How does he know what they will look like?  And what is the deal with the heavy gold jewelry?  How does he know what it looks like?

I gotta say, he is one strange skinny white guy...

I got invited to a bunco group tonight as a sub.  They had bowls of snack food at each table...I ate 4 caramels, a handful of M&Ms, some chocolate pretzels, and even a few Twizzler licorice bites.  Then they served a giant slice of chocolate cake with fresh fruit...I opted for strawberries.

I feel great right now.

But I'm pretty sure I will be hung over tomorrow.

Did you know i have reactive hypoglycemia?  This is a condition where your insulin release is okay, unless you eat a huge abundance of sugar or refined carbohydrates.  Then your pancreas has a massive overreaction and dumps insulin like crazy.  The result is a huge sugar crash...Which makes you want more sugar...

I remember the first time a physician told me I had reactive hypoglycemia.  "You made that up.  I am just fine."  And I walked away from that know it all nephrologist and went about my work.  A few weeks later I had a cardiologist mention the possibility of it to me following a discussion on why I loathe donuts...I sneered at him (behind his back) and returned to work, disgruntled that he could not be bothered to bring me a breakfast burrito.

However, this time I went home and googled it.  And I decided that those quack doctors may actually know what they are talking about.

Shocking, I know.

Tomorrow when I wake up with a splitting headache and generalized crummy feelings...I will bemoan those dang doctors who pointed out the cause of my post sugar irritability.

Because I'm pretty sure it's their fault.

9 comments:

Emily Sue said...

Ha - I love the way you tell two people who've been to MEDICAL SCHOOL that they're wrong, but you're happy to believe Google. That is SO something I would do! :D

Roni said...

But tomorrow when you are waking up with a splitting headache, the first thing you will remember is HOW MUCH FUN YOU HAD!! Then it will all be worth it!! LOL! So glad you could come!!

Taylor said...

But YUM! Cake and strawberries!

Crazy Sister said...

I can't stand the taste of too much sugar. It's so ick. What's wrong with ME, Dr Google?

But I go nuts without salt. If I don't eat enough salty food I feel yuck, and have to go shake some in my mouth from the salt shaker. Ahhh, there we go, that's better...

Freckled Hen said...

What if you don't have sugar? Do you get dizzy?
Recently I brought one of my kids to the ER and as I sat I analyzed every patient. It's kind of sad...I think you are a very brave and selfless person to be a nurse. God Bless You!

Marilyn said...

Well, you gotta blame it on someone. Blame it on Grandad Pat. He had it too.

NaomiG said...

:-) I have diabetes. So, I don't eat sugar very much, and then when I do, I eat too much, and then it tastes weird and nasty, and I feel yucky cuz everything sugary is hard to figure out insulin dosage wise with the glycemic indexes and whatnot. So, I feel your pain. I prefer salty snacks as a general rule, based on my incabability to truly enjoy sweet snacks all the way through.

Hahaha! about the patient with the tattoos. Do you ask him if Nike is paying him to advertise on his body?

Dawn said...

A blind tattoo'd guy? Stange, that. But then, I think there's a lot of strangeness in your job.... Unlike mine which has totally normal peeps who are all in the throes of adolescent angst....

Me said...

Call me crazy, but I cried when you talked about the blind tattoed white guy that is your patient. How sad... But then you made me laugh in the next paragraph, so I had a balanced experience with Andi's Ramblings today. Thanks