Chocolate and Tattoos

I have so much to tell you about!

My new washer, nursery drama, redneck moments...However, today I will just give you a blip of the stuff jostling in my brain to get out.

First, I will share an epiphany with you.  I have a frequent flier patient who is 25 years old.  He has kidney failure, lung problems, and circulatory issues, and he is a train wreck.  He likes heavy gold jewelry.  You know the kind with giant links and huge crosses?  That's his type of jewelry.  He is covered in tattoos.  He has a Nike swoosh on his back and lots of Chinese emblems, and of course a barb wire around his bicep.  The PA Sonya asked him about the one on his right pectoral the other day as she was preparing to place a catheter to drain a fluid collection from around his lung...

"It says destroy. Because my body is destroying itself."

He has no tendency towards drama or neediness.

Oh.  Did I mention he is blind?

Why would a blind man cover himself in tattoos?  How does he know what he's getting?  How does he know what they will look like?  And what is the deal with the heavy gold jewelry?  How does he know what it looks like?

I gotta say, he is one strange skinny white guy...

I got invited to a bunco group tonight as a sub.  They had bowls of snack food at each table...I ate 4 caramels, a handful of M&Ms, some chocolate pretzels, and even a few Twizzler licorice bites.  Then they served a giant slice of chocolate cake with fresh fruit...I opted for strawberries.

I feel great right now.

But I'm pretty sure I will be hung over tomorrow.

Did you know i have reactive hypoglycemia?  This is a condition where your insulin release is okay, unless you eat a huge abundance of sugar or refined carbohydrates.  Then your pancreas has a massive overreaction and dumps insulin like crazy.  The result is a huge sugar crash...Which makes you want more sugar...

I remember the first time a physician told me I had reactive hypoglycemia.  "You made that up.  I am just fine."  And I walked away from that know it all nephrologist and went about my work.  A few weeks later I had a cardiologist mention the possibility of it to me following a discussion on why I loathe donuts...I sneered at him (behind his back) and returned to work, disgruntled that he could not be bothered to bring me a breakfast burrito.

However, this time I went home and googled it.  And I decided that those quack doctors may actually know what they are talking about.

Shocking, I know.

Tomorrow when I wake up with a splitting headache and generalized crummy feelings...I will bemoan those dang doctors who pointed out the cause of my post sugar irritability.

Because I'm pretty sure it's their fault.

Where's the Chocolate?

So, where is it? Not in my daughter's Valentine bag from school! What the hey-diddle is happening to young people today? Where is the little chocolate crisp hearts? The Kisses? The Hugs? The Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts? The KitKats? The Snickers? Where have they all gone?

I tell ya, we need to be very concerned about a generation of children in love with Sweettarts, Warheads, Laffy Taffy's and Tootsie Pops! Seriously... Don't they understand that their mommies have been planning on partaking of their bounty of chocolate since we realized we had to buy supplies for Valentine's? Don't they understand the sense of euphoria and well-being that comes from a chocolate fix? Plus, chocolate has anti-oxidants! Don't they think about anyone but themselves and what THEY like? Kids these days...They think it's all about them, them, them! Sheesh!

I've been planning on raiding my children's chocolate all week. What do I find? Just boring candy! And boring valentine's! Durnit, I wanted a giant chocolate heart! I wanted chocolate flowers! I WANTED CHOCOLATE!

I'm disappointed. And a little upset. Just in case you didn't notice. I guess I'll just have to comfort myself with a Redneck Tall Mocha Capuccino and a Dove chocolate. The sacrifices I have to make!

This rant has been brought to you by:
MWSTCC (mothers who steal their children's chocolate)
and
MWI (mothers with issues)
and
MWOHTMTOTHSTBEDOL (mothers who obviously have too much time on their hands, so they blog every detail of life).

If you would like to support any of these totally fictional foundations, please contact Andi @ andi-rambling.blogspot.com. She will gladly accept anything free. Thank you for joining us today.

Yes, this rant was utterly pointles...But I feel better now.

Thank you for your time.