Monday, July 11, 2011

Kelsey's New Best Friend

Every night Kelsey has a friend come and visit her.  Unfortunately for her, I do not approve of this new friend.  Every night I scold her and take her friend away from her.  I lecture her on poor relationship choices and finding friends that have the same values and standards as she.

I then pick up her friend and carry him to the front yard and give him a lecture on how unhealthy their relationship is.  I don't understand the draw Kelsey has for him, but I am certain that she is just no good for him.

He doesn't listen.  Instead, by the following night he has made his way back to the back yard.  He is very stealthy, and I would probably never realize he has returned except Kelsey just can't contain herself.  Every time he comes over to play she greets him with a gleeful yip.  This event has become so routine that I roll my eyes and go separate them all over again, issuing the same lecture night after night with slight variance in dialogue if for no other reason than to keep myself entertained. 

I am on the verge of giving up.  He apparently wants to be in the back yard.  Kelsey apparently wants to play with him.  The relationship is doomed to failure, and yet they are drawn to each other.

Tonight as I was carrying him to the front yard for the ten thousandth time, I realized "This is a blog moment."

I stopped and pondered for a moment.  I knew in my heart of hearts that this blog needed a photograph to grasp the Romeo and Juliet quality of their relationship.  I recalled my camera was on my great great grandmother's dining room table, which is situated between our couches.  Kind of like an over sized end table.  I also recalled that I had ended my blogging hiatus a few days ago, and my memory card was still in my lap top.  There was nothing for it.  I had to do what I had to do.

I carried Kelsey's new friend into the house.  I called for someone to help me take my memory card out of the computer and put it back into my camera so I wouldn't have to put my burden down.  No answer.  I called again as I carefully carried my bundle to the living room and used my left hand to remove the memory card as my right continued to gently, yet firmly grasp Kelsey's friend.  I reached for the camera, wondering how I was going to get the camera out of the case and insert the memory card all with my left hand.  I continued to call for assistance from any one who cared to respond.

Apparently he was overjoyed to be in a brand new environment where lights flip off and on suddenly, and the temperature is a cool 78 degrees.  He was so overjoyed that he rewarded me with a nice little shower.  Gentle Reader, I was somewhat startled by this action although I had marveled that in our long history of my carrying him to a new location nightly, he had never deigned to respond in such a way.  I let out my own little yip of excitement, which may or may not have sounded like a scream.

Studmuffin was nowhere to be seen.

The girls came running.  They were somewhat startled to see who I had carried INTO the house, however they were also happy to make his acquaintance.  They excitedly greeted our friend and agreed to take care of my camera issues while I carried him to the front porch.  On the way to the front door he decided to reward me with another little shower at the front entry.  I was prepared and not quite as startled, but I was also not feeling particularly thrilled with his little outbursts of "joy."

I don't think he understands all I'm doing for him. 

But perhaps my expectations of toads are just too high.

*And yes, those wet spots on my shorts are indeed from him.  Am I the only one who wonders how toads can produce such vast amounts of urine out of what anatomically has to be such a small bladder?  The mind simply boggles.*


NaomiG said...

Bahahahaha! Only a blogger could FULLY understand the thoughts behind this post. I LOVE it. It cracks me up how I'll take pictures of things and people think I'm crazy--but, they just don't understand that I'm a BLOGGER, and that is what BLOGGERS do. SO. THERE. HA!

Yeah... Ew to the frog. That being said, they do eat bugs! Definitely a positive thing about having a pet frog.

Dawn said...

Hahahaha!!!! I thought at first it might be skunk! Then a neighbors dog. Or cat. Then perhaps a turtle!!! That's so funny! showers of joy indeed!

Crazy Sister said...

I'm pretty amazed that you picked it up. I guess toads are nicer in Oklahoma? The toads we have (cane toads) are poisonous and often squirt on dogs to kill them. I've heard they make people get sick and hallucinate...

You got off lightly with toad pee!

What a weird 'friendship', though!