I don't have a twitter account. I've even thought about giving up my facebook account. But then who would I share my random thoughts with? Certainly not Brent. Here's a copy/pasted convo from SuperBowl I posted last week:
Me: Yum. All American apple pie for the all American sport.
Brent: Makes sounds of agreement (who has time to reply to every inane comment I make.)
Me: Well, except the football part. I guess I'm just pretty excited about the pie.
Brent: He wordlessly continues to slice jalapenos for his beast feast...
Our life is so exciting!
So, obviously I won't get the proper accolades by sharing my random thoughts with those living in my house...
Anyway, we were talking about Twitter. And my lack of an account. But I'm pretty sure if I did, it would be EPIC.
Let's pause for alittle legend, how 'bout? You see, I was quite confused by all the #myfridaynight nonsense, and #idol, and what not. Then one day I suddenly realized, "Hey! The pound sign is somehow tied to Twitter!" It was revelatory, I tell ya...
Then I started hearing a weird word, "hashtag."
And now, in all of my Twitter expertise, I've finally decoded the whole thing.
# : Number sign
# : Pound sign (we won't discuss how long it took me to figure out what the operator meant by "press the pound sign.")
# : HASHTAG!
And who the heck decided to call it a "hashtag?" And is it hash tag, hashtag, HashTag, hASHtAG, or what?
But, returning to my theoretical EPICness:
In fact, it would be so epic, I've created a fantasy Twitter thread in my head. For example today I worked a crossword puzzle. The clue was: A tryst at 12.
I pondered. The witching hour? Midnight madness?
Alas, none of the OBVIOUS answers fit in my six space area. And none of my obvious answers had two n's and and r.
Thinking, thinking, thinking...
That is HYSTERICAL!
We went to see Hansel and Gretel tonight. Brent and I had been desperate for a movie to go see. He had not been to a movie since the latest Bond, and for people who use action/superhero movies for escapism that was a long time.
Want a quick review of the movie? Good! If you are looking for a COMPLETELY nonplausible movie with over the top action, then this is just the movie for you! And, how did Hansel discover he has "a disease that requires him to do injections every few hours or he will die." Sugar sickness from the original witch's excessive amount of sugar she fed him before he and good ole Gretel managed to off her....Apparently it plum wore out his pancreas! (One must not ask how he knew if he would die if he is very much alive...or where he got the insulin...Or where he stashes his contaminated needles...) Of course, I could do without the language, nudity (shocking, that) and there did seem to be an excessive amount of blood...
But it was still great fun! Just be sure you go with someone who will say when it's safe to open your eyes again.
Now, we are home and Brent is watching "Hotel Transylvania." Popcorn is doing cartwheels and rolling across the floor on my balance ball and coming to a handstand. Over and over and over...It could almost be tedious.
See? This hashtag stuff can be fun!
Stay tuned for #SorryYouMadeABadDecision!
I'm pretty sure it will be EPIC.