I notice that my blogs don't get many comments lately. Of course, I have that happen every summer.
But my insecurity says people don't like what I'm saying.
I need people to like me. Maybe you don't, but I do. If I know someone doesn't like me, I immediately wonder why, and what did I do, and what is WRONG with them? Seriously. What's not to like?
Okay, that last part is a joke.
Sort of.
Yesterday a facebook friend posted this link:
http://defendchristians.org/news/major-corporation-declares-war-on-marriage-and-children/
And I reposted it. My sister was helpful enough to give me a link to all brands they own.
That list seems to make it impossible. As I perused it, I began to have some trepidation about my follow through. After all I'm the same girl who banned high fructose corn syrup in our house except ketchup (before there was hfc free) and a weekly soda. Because while I wanted to limit the junk my kids were eating, there is no need go psycho! You know they get plenty of junk everywhere else, so why not make home a place of nutritious food?
Anyway, about two years ago I flaked on the HFC thing. The timing just happened to coincide with the beginning of my couponing and my attempting to stay at home, so budget budget budget. We all know healthy food is NOT the cheapest way to go. If it was, raman noodles would not be the food of choice for college kids across America.
However, as I've gone about my day the utter impossibility of boycotting these products keeps coming back to me. It would be very hard. Kind of like when we made a pact as a family to limit Apple, Levis, Nike, and Home Depot purchases. The Home depot was no sweat. Even Levis and Nike. However, my kids each own Apple products. We have stood firm at buying music from iTunes.
So, as I looked at this overwhelming list (Yoplait? Really? Their Greek yogurt is my lunch when there is no time for real lunch at work!) I kept thinking, "Wow. I don't think I can do this." After all it requires diligence and long term commitment. All things I really don't seek out. Then today as I was driving home from running the girls around I remembered a blog I heard about on our local Christian radio. The blog is directed at teenagers and encourages them to "do the hard thing." I was so impressed. It is a group of teenagers uniting in "rebellion against low expectations." They strive to do what is right in God's eyes, not what is right in the eyes of the world.
And as I remembered that, I thought, if I am applauding a teenager for doing the hard thing, why won't I do it? And if I don't want to do the hard thing, then how can I expect my kids to do it?
So, I'm giving it a shot. I'm going to take my list of products owned by General Mills and try to avoid purchasing them, when possible. If I fail, I'm not going to simply throw up my hands and say "This will never work!" I'm going to start over and try to do this thing.
As a consumer I have a voice. It's called my wallet. If I don't financially support a group, then that group will listen to me. Of course, if I'm going this alone, they will not care about my one little act of defiance. However, if Christians as a whole stand up and say they will not support corporations who support the homosexual agenda, or abortion, or whatever cause God is burdening you with, then our voice will be heard!
And even if nobody else stands up, then I will still stand. And I will not be quiet (like anyone expected THAT anyway.) I will strive to not throw my convictions in others faces, but I will state what God is telling me to say. I hope you will pray that the words I use will be His words, not self righteous rambling.
Strangely, I think that my recent study of Joshua helped me prepare for this very thing. Because as I contemplated how little difference my refusal to support certain institutions can make, in the big picture, God reminded me of Joshua standing before the Israelites after they had conquered the Promised Land:
"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for my and my household we will serve the LORD."
Joshua 24:14-15
God is telling me that the world will NOT serve Him. But that does not give me permission to serve Him in a half hearted manner, simply because it's a better effort than most are doing. He is calling me to serve Him when it's hard. And choosing to fight this battle will not be easy, but I feel that it will be worth it if my kids grow up knowing that their parents knew who they served, and they did it as faithfully as they could.
AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD!
How about you? Is God calling you into battle? What will your answer be?
Showing posts with label Scripture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scripture. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Rebellion
I have been in rebellion. Willful disobedience. Denial.
Really what I've been entrenched in is sin.
Yuck.
What a harsh word. I find it easier to tell myself I'm being disobedient, or back slid, or even rebellious. The world loves rebellion after all. Just look at the new Dr. Pepper commercial where one girl proudly wears her white shirt with red letters proclaiming "I am a rebel."
But to just come right out and say "I've been in sin. And my flesh has been loving it."
That makes me physically nauseous. Oh, the sin may not be what the general populous would call "bad." In fact, it would be construed as quite good. I've been working in my yard. I've been playing with my girls. Preparing meals. Clipping coupons. Reading books that I've had on the waiting list on the library.
Life is busy with softball and work, and it's spring so the yard is calling my name. I'm finding myself getting wrapped up in the "doing" so that I can be the "have it all together" kind of girl that I envision myself to be.
Anyone who knows me is shaking their head at my self delusion. I struggle with flakiness. One of my dear mentors at church told me that if I'm finding myself forgetting about things I need to do, it's because I'm over committed. I scoffed at that mentally. But deep down inside I know she's right.
So, instead of eliminating things, I simply endeavor to become more organized. Because if I just plan my day better, and don't watch any TV, or stop daydreaming in the yard swing while I sip my coffee, I will get all of the things I NEED to get done finished and my family will rise up and call me blessed. Because I'm pretty sure my family likes a pretty flower bed, and fresh home grown tomatoes, and they ESPECIALLY like to walk in the door from softball to the table set with a nutritious hot meal ready to be enjoyed.
All of those are good things, right? They certainly aren't BAD.
But here's the deal. My pursuit of "having it all together" just isn't working out for me. They have been drawing me into temporal thoughts, not eternal thoughts. They have been bolstering my self worth with a sense of, "look what I accomplished today." They have been feeding my flesh and my flesh has been quite pleased with itself.
But my soul has been in quiet misery.
The crisis came last Friday. Good Friday as a matter of fact. Our choir has a Tenebrae service. It is a time of reflection on the cross and the sacrifice that Christ made before we have a big celebration of His resurrection on Sunday. We serve the Lord's Supper during that service, but as the choir is singing during that time, our pastor and deacons serve the choir before the service. The pastor pointed out to us that "whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner is guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord."
I immediately realized my heart was not prepared to partake of the supper. I was convicted that I was not to take of the elements. We paused and had a moment to search our hearts. I had a chat with God and decided I was good to go. After all, I had confessed my sins. God is faithful and just to forgive us, right?
I took the cup. I ate the bread.
And I have never felt more spiritually absent during a service in my life. Seriously. It was as if a wall was up between me and my God. I was singing to Him. I was truly trying to take in and contemplate the words being sung to Him. I was trying to get that joyous feeling of connection that comes when I truly block out what the congregation is thinking or doing, what the lady next to me in the choir is singing and I just focus on God and who He is. After all, my role in the choir is to help lead worship, and if I'm not up there truly worshiping, I'm just another warm body who is hopefully singing on key.
So, I endeavored to focus on my Savior.
But I wasn't feeling it.
So that was painful. And it was an eye opener. I took some serious time to pray over the weekend and by Sunday I was in a true celebratory mood as I went to church. This week (all the way to Wednesday let's not be too proud of me, Gentle Reader) I've spent time in His Word each day. I've taken time to talk to Him. I've written my thoughts on the scripture He gave me in my journal.
And I feel refreshed. And I am forgiven. And He is right here where I left Him.
I am currently involved in a study written by Kelly Minter titled "No Other Gods." In my pursuit of an image, I have been neglecting my King and Redeemer,, the LORD Almighty, the first and the last, the Rock of my salvation (Isaiah 44:6-8.)
God showed me this morning that I've been carrying about images that are "burdensome, a burden for the weary. They stoop and bow down together; unable to rescue the burden, they themselves go off into captivity." (Isaiah 46:1-2)
The illusion of getting my life organized and having a pretty yard and a well fed family is a weary burden that can never satisfy me. It will continually drag me down because no matter how cute the house is, or how weed free my flower beds I will always tell myself, "I could be doing more."
The idol of perfection will always leave my soul weary.
Matthew 11:28-30
COME TO ME, ALL YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND BURDENED AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU AND LEARN FROM ME, FOR I AM GENTLE AND HUMBLE IN HEART, AND YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT.
What burden is weighing you down? Call up on the LORD Almighty. He will give you rest.
Really what I've been entrenched in is sin.
Yuck.
What a harsh word. I find it easier to tell myself I'm being disobedient, or back slid, or even rebellious. The world loves rebellion after all. Just look at the new Dr. Pepper commercial where one girl proudly wears her white shirt with red letters proclaiming "I am a rebel."
But to just come right out and say "I've been in sin. And my flesh has been loving it."
That makes me physically nauseous. Oh, the sin may not be what the general populous would call "bad." In fact, it would be construed as quite good. I've been working in my yard. I've been playing with my girls. Preparing meals. Clipping coupons. Reading books that I've had on the waiting list on the library.
Life is busy with softball and work, and it's spring so the yard is calling my name. I'm finding myself getting wrapped up in the "doing" so that I can be the "have it all together" kind of girl that I envision myself to be.
Anyone who knows me is shaking their head at my self delusion. I struggle with flakiness. One of my dear mentors at church told me that if I'm finding myself forgetting about things I need to do, it's because I'm over committed. I scoffed at that mentally. But deep down inside I know she's right.
So, instead of eliminating things, I simply endeavor to become more organized. Because if I just plan my day better, and don't watch any TV, or stop daydreaming in the yard swing while I sip my coffee, I will get all of the things I NEED to get done finished and my family will rise up and call me blessed. Because I'm pretty sure my family likes a pretty flower bed, and fresh home grown tomatoes, and they ESPECIALLY like to walk in the door from softball to the table set with a nutritious hot meal ready to be enjoyed.
All of those are good things, right? They certainly aren't BAD.
But here's the deal. My pursuit of "having it all together" just isn't working out for me. They have been drawing me into temporal thoughts, not eternal thoughts. They have been bolstering my self worth with a sense of, "look what I accomplished today." They have been feeding my flesh and my flesh has been quite pleased with itself.
But my soul has been in quiet misery.
The crisis came last Friday. Good Friday as a matter of fact. Our choir has a Tenebrae service. It is a time of reflection on the cross and the sacrifice that Christ made before we have a big celebration of His resurrection on Sunday. We serve the Lord's Supper during that service, but as the choir is singing during that time, our pastor and deacons serve the choir before the service. The pastor pointed out to us that "whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner is guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord."
I immediately realized my heart was not prepared to partake of the supper. I was convicted that I was not to take of the elements. We paused and had a moment to search our hearts. I had a chat with God and decided I was good to go. After all, I had confessed my sins. God is faithful and just to forgive us, right?
I took the cup. I ate the bread.
And I have never felt more spiritually absent during a service in my life. Seriously. It was as if a wall was up between me and my God. I was singing to Him. I was truly trying to take in and contemplate the words being sung to Him. I was trying to get that joyous feeling of connection that comes when I truly block out what the congregation is thinking or doing, what the lady next to me in the choir is singing and I just focus on God and who He is. After all, my role in the choir is to help lead worship, and if I'm not up there truly worshiping, I'm just another warm body who is hopefully singing on key.
So, I endeavored to focus on my Savior.
But I wasn't feeling it.
So that was painful. And it was an eye opener. I took some serious time to pray over the weekend and by Sunday I was in a true celebratory mood as I went to church. This week (all the way to Wednesday let's not be too proud of me, Gentle Reader) I've spent time in His Word each day. I've taken time to talk to Him. I've written my thoughts on the scripture He gave me in my journal.
And I feel refreshed. And I am forgiven. And He is right here where I left Him.
I am currently involved in a study written by Kelly Minter titled "No Other Gods." In my pursuit of an image, I have been neglecting my King and Redeemer,, the LORD Almighty, the first and the last, the Rock of my salvation (Isaiah 44:6-8.)
God showed me this morning that I've been carrying about images that are "burdensome, a burden for the weary. They stoop and bow down together; unable to rescue the burden, they themselves go off into captivity." (Isaiah 46:1-2)
The illusion of getting my life organized and having a pretty yard and a well fed family is a weary burden that can never satisfy me. It will continually drag me down because no matter how cute the house is, or how weed free my flower beds I will always tell myself, "I could be doing more."
The idol of perfection will always leave my soul weary.
Matthew 11:28-30
COME TO ME, ALL YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND BURDENED AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU AND LEARN FROM ME, FOR I AM GENTLE AND HUMBLE IN HEART, AND YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT.
What burden is weighing you down? Call up on the LORD Almighty. He will give you rest.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
How Cool is That?
God smacked me on the forehead today. Don't worry. It was a good smack. One of those, "WOW!" moments.
I'm reading Romans, one chapter a day. Chewing on it. Thinking about it. Really trying to digest what I'm reading...Is anyone hungry now?
Today's reading was chapter 5. Heavy stuff.
Do you have a commentary that you read along with your Bible? I love mine. It is called
Believer's Bible Commentary by William MacDonald. God used this book to bring home His truth to me this morning. It helps my feeble brain wrap around some big concepts.
God can have nothing to do with sin. Yet while we were all still dead in our sins, He sent Christ.
His only son. The God and creator of the universe.
To die for us.
For me....
He paid the cost of my sins.
If God called me while I was dead in my sins, and I know that sin makes me an enemy of God, if He called me to Himself in that condition, how much more will He do for me as a precious child?
Wow.
Next came verse 12. Death came through Adam. Sin was now in the world. All man now lived in separation from God due to their sin, which all began with Adam. Even before the law was given. They were still sinners....
Hmmm....
Okay, I gotta say it. My brain asked the question that every "good" Christian shrinks from.
Why did God allow sin? If He had never allowed sin, then He would never have had to make the immense sacrifice of dying and bearing the burden of the entire world's sin!
Why did He allow it?
Then, God gave me this answer: THROUGH ADAM'S SIN, AND THE EVENTUAL DEATH, BURIAL AND RESURRECTION OF JESUS CHRIST, GOD RECEIVED MORE GLORY. AND MAN RECEIVED MORE BLESSING.
More blessing?
That's right! More BLESSING.
All Adam had to do was follow God's one command to him "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." (Genesis 1:16b-17)
We all know he ate it.
The big dummy. I get irritated with him and Eve every time I read it. Probably because I'm just like them. My husband says a sure fire way to get me to do something is tell me I can't do it. Don't you just hate when you are all mad at some idiot, then realize you are a whole lot like them?
But what if Adam hadn't eaten the fruit?
Man would still be living in the Garden of Eden. Life would be easy. Every little need provided. We'd still be meeting up with God every so often for an occasional stroll and chat.
BUT man would not have hope of eternity spent in HEAVEN with Jesus Christ, as an heir of Christ, being like Christ forever.
These blessings came only through the redemptive work of Jesus Christ.
Which would never have been necessary without the fall of man.
So through one tragic event, the first sin of man, God planned the blessing of every man who will come to Him through His son: Jesus Christ.
How cool is that?
I'm reading Romans, one chapter a day. Chewing on it. Thinking about it. Really trying to digest what I'm reading...Is anyone hungry now?
Today's reading was chapter 5. Heavy stuff.
Do you have a commentary that you read along with your Bible? I love mine. It is called
Believer's Bible Commentary by William MacDonald. God used this book to bring home His truth to me this morning. It helps my feeble brain wrap around some big concepts.
God can have nothing to do with sin. Yet while we were all still dead in our sins, He sent Christ.
His only son. The God and creator of the universe.
To die for us.
For me....
He paid the cost of my sins.
If God called me while I was dead in my sins, and I know that sin makes me an enemy of God, if He called me to Himself in that condition, how much more will He do for me as a precious child?
Wow.
Next came verse 12. Death came through Adam. Sin was now in the world. All man now lived in separation from God due to their sin, which all began with Adam. Even before the law was given. They were still sinners....
Hmmm....
Okay, I gotta say it. My brain asked the question that every "good" Christian shrinks from.
Why did God allow sin? If He had never allowed sin, then He would never have had to make the immense sacrifice of dying and bearing the burden of the entire world's sin!
Why did He allow it?
Then, God gave me this answer: THROUGH ADAM'S SIN, AND THE EVENTUAL DEATH, BURIAL AND RESURRECTION OF JESUS CHRIST, GOD RECEIVED MORE GLORY. AND MAN RECEIVED MORE BLESSING.
More blessing?
That's right! More BLESSING.
All Adam had to do was follow God's one command to him "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." (Genesis 1:16b-17)
We all know he ate it.
The big dummy. I get irritated with him and Eve every time I read it. Probably because I'm just like them. My husband says a sure fire way to get me to do something is tell me I can't do it. Don't you just hate when you are all mad at some idiot, then realize you are a whole lot like them?
But what if Adam hadn't eaten the fruit?
Man would still be living in the Garden of Eden. Life would be easy. Every little need provided. We'd still be meeting up with God every so often for an occasional stroll and chat.
BUT man would not have hope of eternity spent in HEAVEN with Jesus Christ, as an heir of Christ, being like Christ forever.
These blessings came only through the redemptive work of Jesus Christ.
Which would never have been necessary without the fall of man.
So through one tragic event, the first sin of man, God planned the blessing of every man who will come to Him through His son: Jesus Christ.
How cool is that?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Lost at Sea
Okay, not really.
But I feel that way.
I know you would NEVER have guessed this about me, but I'm about to reveal a Deep. Dark. Secret.
I'm a planner.
Aren't you surprised? (not) From the menu, to the budget, to housework, even down to what we will eat on our weekend at the lake.... I plan.
Planny planny plan plan!
Guess what? I just got a big ole kink thrown in all of my plans!
I have a sick child. Now, I'm not at liberty to reveal the details of this illness, as the child in question is embarrassed by any illness, and while this is not a serious illness, it is one that takes some time to get over...
An unknown time.
As in, could be days. Could be weeks. Definitely months for full recovery back to the cartwheeling down the grocery store aisles self...
So. I'm at home for the rest of the week. I initially started a post that was going to be funny and sarcastic about what I would do with all of this time at home. After all, I've always aspired to be a trophy wife, so this is the perfect opportunity to pretend to be one...
I found myself utterly unable to be silly or sarcastic or lighthearted.
Isn't it amazing how we all fulfill certain roles? Funny, sarcastic, lighthearted has always been my role. Others may disagree, but that's always been the role I've felt cast in. Of course, the sarcasm is frequently directed at myself. It's funnier that way, you see. Anyhoo, I found myself unable to fulfill the role I play, even if it's a role that I have found tiresome at times, and downright resentful of at times also. Because honestly, there have been times when I just want to say "Well, I don't' feel like telling a funny story today. I don't feel like making you feel better. Deal with it. Move on. Good bye."
Aren't I such a nice person on the inside?
So. Here I am. No plans. Unable to make any extended plans.
In fact, I'm unable to even complete tasks I start today. I'm just wandering around, starting stuff, shifting things from one place to another, and feeling lost...
Hating that!
Every praise song is making me weep. Every verse of scripture is pointing a big finger at me. God is speaking to me. I'm listening.
(But I don't want to)
Yes, God, I know that You know the plans You have for me. Plans to prosper me and not harm me. Plans full of hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) You see, I like the plans I had for myself right now. So, if You could just sort of tweak your plan to better fit my plan, I'd like that a whole lot. Okay?
OKAY!
How about Psalm 20:4? You will give me the desire of my heart and make all my plans succeed? I like this verse! Can we just take it out of context for a minute and pretend that this is all this verse is about, and not bringing glory to You, with all that You have given me, but rather just fulfilling the plans that I want?
No?
Well. Oooookay then. I guess I will remember that You have a plan. It's a good plan. A plan that stands firm forever according to Psalm 33:11. I guess if it's going to stand that long, You know what You're doing...
*sigh*
Confession: I'm still not doing so hot with this not knowing the plan thing.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD'S purpose that prevails.
Maybe that one makes me feel better. I'll try to soften up to this whole "You have a plan, You know what it is, and I should trust You."
But really.
Is it too much to be given a concrete time frame? Two weeks? 12 Days? How long?
You see, I have a budget that will now need tweaking. Coworkers who are working short...
And, a child who is letting me hold her on my lap and read the entire Diary of... series by Doreen Cronin, when that hasn't happened in a L.O.N.G time..
So, I guess I'll try to savor this moment...
But since I've decided to sit back and savor...I just want to know how long the moment will last. You see, being the planner that You created me to be, I'm pretty sure I will be able to savor it all the more if I have a slightly more precise time line...
And yes, I see that you have directed my thoughts to Matthew 6. I know You clothe the lilies of the field. I know You provide food for the birds, and surely I'm worth more to You than flowers or birds!
So, I will try not to worry as it is abundantly clear that it will get me nowhere. I will try to face the worries of today, as they are big enough for me to handle.
But I won't be very good at it!
Ecclesiastes 3
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
But I feel that way.
I know you would NEVER have guessed this about me, but I'm about to reveal a Deep. Dark. Secret.
I'm a planner.
Aren't you surprised? (not) From the menu, to the budget, to housework, even down to what we will eat on our weekend at the lake.... I plan.
Planny planny plan plan!
Guess what? I just got a big ole kink thrown in all of my plans!
I have a sick child. Now, I'm not at liberty to reveal the details of this illness, as the child in question is embarrassed by any illness, and while this is not a serious illness, it is one that takes some time to get over...
An unknown time.
As in, could be days. Could be weeks. Definitely months for full recovery back to the cartwheeling down the grocery store aisles self...
So. I'm at home for the rest of the week. I initially started a post that was going to be funny and sarcastic about what I would do with all of this time at home. After all, I've always aspired to be a trophy wife, so this is the perfect opportunity to pretend to be one...
I found myself utterly unable to be silly or sarcastic or lighthearted.
Isn't it amazing how we all fulfill certain roles? Funny, sarcastic, lighthearted has always been my role. Others may disagree, but that's always been the role I've felt cast in. Of course, the sarcasm is frequently directed at myself. It's funnier that way, you see. Anyhoo, I found myself unable to fulfill the role I play, even if it's a role that I have found tiresome at times, and downright resentful of at times also. Because honestly, there have been times when I just want to say "Well, I don't' feel like telling a funny story today. I don't feel like making you feel better. Deal with it. Move on. Good bye."
Aren't I such a nice person on the inside?
So. Here I am. No plans. Unable to make any extended plans.
In fact, I'm unable to even complete tasks I start today. I'm just wandering around, starting stuff, shifting things from one place to another, and feeling lost...
Hating that!
Every praise song is making me weep. Every verse of scripture is pointing a big finger at me. God is speaking to me. I'm listening.
(But I don't want to)
Yes, God, I know that You know the plans You have for me. Plans to prosper me and not harm me. Plans full of hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) You see, I like the plans I had for myself right now. So, if You could just sort of tweak your plan to better fit my plan, I'd like that a whole lot. Okay?
OKAY!
How about Psalm 20:4? You will give me the desire of my heart and make all my plans succeed? I like this verse! Can we just take it out of context for a minute and pretend that this is all this verse is about, and not bringing glory to You, with all that You have given me, but rather just fulfilling the plans that I want?
No?
Well. Oooookay then. I guess I will remember that You have a plan. It's a good plan. A plan that stands firm forever according to Psalm 33:11. I guess if it's going to stand that long, You know what You're doing...
*sigh*
Confession: I'm still not doing so hot with this not knowing the plan thing.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD'S purpose that prevails.
Maybe that one makes me feel better. I'll try to soften up to this whole "You have a plan, You know what it is, and I should trust You."
But really.
Is it too much to be given a concrete time frame? Two weeks? 12 Days? How long?
You see, I have a budget that will now need tweaking. Coworkers who are working short...
And, a child who is letting me hold her on my lap and read the entire Diary of... series by Doreen Cronin, when that hasn't happened in a L.O.N.G time..
So, I guess I'll try to savor this moment...
But since I've decided to sit back and savor...I just want to know how long the moment will last. You see, being the planner that You created me to be, I'm pretty sure I will be able to savor it all the more if I have a slightly more precise time line...
And yes, I see that you have directed my thoughts to Matthew 6. I know You clothe the lilies of the field. I know You provide food for the birds, and surely I'm worth more to You than flowers or birds!
So, I will try not to worry as it is abundantly clear that it will get me nowhere. I will try to face the worries of today, as they are big enough for me to handle.
But I won't be very good at it!
Ecclesiastes 3
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
When to Remain Silent
I haven't figured this out.
I'm actually quite terrible at it, as you can imagine...
Unless, of course I should be speaking up, and then I am entirely too silent.
Last week one of our doctors asked me about a former coworkers husband. He has pancreatic cancer and a very short time to live. Her first husband died of cancer as did her current husband's first wife. Naturally, they are both devastated. Someone mentioned that they were going on a trip, to which my doctor replied, "Well, of course! You have to grab life while you can before you're floating around in some ethereal space with no chance to touch the things that matter!"
What? I was stunned at his statement. I KNOW Dr. S knows I'm a Christian. There is no way he hasn't noticed me praying with patients as we begin procedures. At least, I hope he realizes I'm a Christian. Have I been too silent about my faith?
Then, he continued, "That's what gets me about Christians. They are scared of dying because they aren't sure where they'll go. Muslim KNOW where they're going, so they will blow themselves up to get there. But Christians don't really know where they are going."
"Well," I said, "Actually, Christians do know where they are going, and J and K know where he's going, but that doesn't mean they aren't scared of what will happen before he gets there!"
"That's what I mean, they are not SURE that's where he's going. Otherwise they wouldn't be afraid!"
"Well, if you told me I was going to die tomorrow, I would probably be scared. I'm a Christian, and I know where I will go, so the fear is not for myself. It's worry for my husband and my kids and my parents. I wouldn't want them to suffer because I'm gone."
And sadly, the conversation ended there. I was silent too soon. I kick myself that I did not say, "You know,everyone can know for certain they are going to heaven to spend eternity with Christ where there will be no sorrows, no pain, no suffering ever again. I can tell you how YOU can know that for yourself."
But, I didn't. We were actually in the middle of a CT guided liver biopsy and the CT scan was complete, so we went back into the room with the patient, and I did not pick the topic back up after the needle was placed in his liver and we were repeat scanning to ensure accurate placement for the biopsy...
I let the moment slip by.
I was silent too soon.
I'm actually quite terrible at it, as you can imagine...
Unless, of course I should be speaking up, and then I am entirely too silent.
Last week one of our doctors asked me about a former coworkers husband. He has pancreatic cancer and a very short time to live. Her first husband died of cancer as did her current husband's first wife. Naturally, they are both devastated. Someone mentioned that they were going on a trip, to which my doctor replied, "Well, of course! You have to grab life while you can before you're floating around in some ethereal space with no chance to touch the things that matter!"
What? I was stunned at his statement. I KNOW Dr. S knows I'm a Christian. There is no way he hasn't noticed me praying with patients as we begin procedures. At least, I hope he realizes I'm a Christian. Have I been too silent about my faith?
Then, he continued, "That's what gets me about Christians. They are scared of dying because they aren't sure where they'll go. Muslim KNOW where they're going, so they will blow themselves up to get there. But Christians don't really know where they are going."
"Well," I said, "Actually, Christians do know where they are going, and J and K know where he's going, but that doesn't mean they aren't scared of what will happen before he gets there!"
"That's what I mean, they are not SURE that's where he's going. Otherwise they wouldn't be afraid!"
"Well, if you told me I was going to die tomorrow, I would probably be scared. I'm a Christian, and I know where I will go, so the fear is not for myself. It's worry for my husband and my kids and my parents. I wouldn't want them to suffer because I'm gone."
And sadly, the conversation ended there. I was silent too soon. I kick myself that I did not say, "You know,everyone can know for certain they are going to heaven to spend eternity with Christ where there will be no sorrows, no pain, no suffering ever again. I can tell you how YOU can know that for yourself."
But, I didn't. We were actually in the middle of a CT guided liver biopsy and the CT scan was complete, so we went back into the room with the patient, and I did not pick the topic back up after the needle was placed in his liver and we were repeat scanning to ensure accurate placement for the biopsy...
I let the moment slip by.
I was silent too soon.
Monday, October 5, 2009
It starts with me
Raise your hand if you are concerned with the future of this nation, and the future of our children...
I'm guessing most hands went up. I wonder if any of you are like me, and pray for change in our country, but wonder what you are supposed to do. I'm facilitating a Bible study at my church with Beth Moore's Esther It's Tough Being a Woman. We got into a discussion based on Esther 3:15. King Xerxes and Haman are sitting, enjoying a drink while the rest of the kingdom is in an uproar. King Xerxes has ignorantly agreed to allow Haman to annihilate all Jews in the kingdom, and this will include his own queen. It seems so ludicrous when you read it. Sitting and drinking. Enjoying a chat with a friend. The rest of the world is in panic, and he is having a relaxing moment of fellowship. Disgusting, isn't it?
What am I doing about today's world? What am I doing to right any wrongs I see around me? Am I actively involved in challenging the threat I see to my children's future? Or am I sitting drinking my coffee, and reading my Bible, and saying, "Oh well, it's such a shame. If THOSE PEOPLE wouldn't make the decisions they're making, we wouldn't be in this situation." Because, really, what am I supposed to do? My hands feel tied. I pray for our leaders daily. I pray for this country daily. But what more am I to do? Yes, I can vote when an election comes. But,what about right now? What can I do to make a difference this very moment? Write a letter? That's a great starting place, but I lack the conviction that it will make a difference. Attend a tea party? I think these are great, but I haven't actually know when they were going to occur, or exactly what they were partying about. That is my fault. I should have my finger on the pulse of what's going on around me.
Think of Hitler. He didn't immediately come up and say, "Let's kill all the Jews, and anyone who is disabled, or slow, or less than us." No. It was a slow, insidious process. It was small actions that many people shook their head at, and thought "that is wrong," then did nothing to stop. That is how our world is changing today. We see something that we KNOW is wrong, and we shake our heads thinking, "shame, shame, shame," and then we do nothing.
Yep. Bible study was pretty heavy today. We talked about some heavy issues that most of us have not done enough to speak out against. Abortion. Premarital sex. Homosexuality. All of those seem so harsh to read on the page to me. Sadly, they are not taboo topics anywhere. They are all freely discussed and embraced by our society. What are we as Christians to do in a culture that has so radically changed it's world view?
The only answer we could come up with was 2 Chronicles 7:14, which states: If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will HEAL THEIR LAND.
So, it starts with me. I am one of God's people. I am to humble myself and call to God, and pray and seek his face. Then, He will forgive me. And He will heal our land. One lady commented, "if enough people will pray..." NO! I will not think that way. This is a call to each of us as individuals. If I am unwilling to make changes until the rest of the world falls to its knees, then it will never happen. No, I can't control other people's actions. I can only control what I do with my relationship with God, and how that affects my decisions. I cannot expect the lost to turn from their wickedness. They do not know because they do not have the Holy Spirit to show them the way. So, as a Christian, I am to be light to them. If I as a Christian am unwilling to reflect God's truth to a lost world, where will we be? It is my God given job to present the gospel to them. After they have heard the gospel, and accepted God's truth, then I can expect them to seek God. Not before. How will they ever find healing if I don't present to them the Healer?
My challenge is this: What am I doing that ENABLES the wickedness that is prevalent in our country? Do my television shows represent a Biblical view or a world view? Ouch. What about my reading material? Ouch. Do I pay attention to my every day purchases? Do I know what the companies I'm buying from support? Do I even evaluate where they are made, and who made it? Nope.
As a Christian, I believe I am called to evaluate all of these things, and put them before God's Word. If they don't match up with what it tells me, then it needs to be removed from my life. End of story.
You are enough to make a difference. God has placed you in the position you are in, for such a time as the one you are facing now. Just as Esther was one woman given the challenge to save her entire race, you are the one person God has chosen for the destiny He has for you. Yes, God's will is always fulfilled, but your decision to participate in the destiny He has for you in this time and this moment is totally up to you. Seek His face. Call to Him today. He is listening, and He is enough.
That's my starting point for change. What is yours going to be?
I'm guessing most hands went up. I wonder if any of you are like me, and pray for change in our country, but wonder what you are supposed to do. I'm facilitating a Bible study at my church with Beth Moore's Esther It's Tough Being a Woman. We got into a discussion based on Esther 3:15. King Xerxes and Haman are sitting, enjoying a drink while the rest of the kingdom is in an uproar. King Xerxes has ignorantly agreed to allow Haman to annihilate all Jews in the kingdom, and this will include his own queen. It seems so ludicrous when you read it. Sitting and drinking. Enjoying a chat with a friend. The rest of the world is in panic, and he is having a relaxing moment of fellowship. Disgusting, isn't it?
What am I doing about today's world? What am I doing to right any wrongs I see around me? Am I actively involved in challenging the threat I see to my children's future? Or am I sitting drinking my coffee, and reading my Bible, and saying, "Oh well, it's such a shame. If THOSE PEOPLE wouldn't make the decisions they're making, we wouldn't be in this situation." Because, really, what am I supposed to do? My hands feel tied. I pray for our leaders daily. I pray for this country daily. But what more am I to do? Yes, I can vote when an election comes. But,what about right now? What can I do to make a difference this very moment? Write a letter? That's a great starting place, but I lack the conviction that it will make a difference. Attend a tea party? I think these are great, but I haven't actually know when they were going to occur, or exactly what they were partying about. That is my fault. I should have my finger on the pulse of what's going on around me.
Think of Hitler. He didn't immediately come up and say, "Let's kill all the Jews, and anyone who is disabled, or slow, or less than us." No. It was a slow, insidious process. It was small actions that many people shook their head at, and thought "that is wrong," then did nothing to stop. That is how our world is changing today. We see something that we KNOW is wrong, and we shake our heads thinking, "shame, shame, shame," and then we do nothing.
Yep. Bible study was pretty heavy today. We talked about some heavy issues that most of us have not done enough to speak out against. Abortion. Premarital sex. Homosexuality. All of those seem so harsh to read on the page to me. Sadly, they are not taboo topics anywhere. They are all freely discussed and embraced by our society. What are we as Christians to do in a culture that has so radically changed it's world view?
The only answer we could come up with was 2 Chronicles 7:14, which states: If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will HEAL THEIR LAND.
So, it starts with me. I am one of God's people. I am to humble myself and call to God, and pray and seek his face. Then, He will forgive me. And He will heal our land. One lady commented, "if enough people will pray..." NO! I will not think that way. This is a call to each of us as individuals. If I am unwilling to make changes until the rest of the world falls to its knees, then it will never happen. No, I can't control other people's actions. I can only control what I do with my relationship with God, and how that affects my decisions. I cannot expect the lost to turn from their wickedness. They do not know because they do not have the Holy Spirit to show them the way. So, as a Christian, I am to be light to them. If I as a Christian am unwilling to reflect God's truth to a lost world, where will we be? It is my God given job to present the gospel to them. After they have heard the gospel, and accepted God's truth, then I can expect them to seek God. Not before. How will they ever find healing if I don't present to them the Healer?
My challenge is this: What am I doing that ENABLES the wickedness that is prevalent in our country? Do my television shows represent a Biblical view or a world view? Ouch. What about my reading material? Ouch. Do I pay attention to my every day purchases? Do I know what the companies I'm buying from support? Do I even evaluate where they are made, and who made it? Nope.
As a Christian, I believe I am called to evaluate all of these things, and put them before God's Word. If they don't match up with what it tells me, then it needs to be removed from my life. End of story.
You are enough to make a difference. God has placed you in the position you are in, for such a time as the one you are facing now. Just as Esther was one woman given the challenge to save her entire race, you are the one person God has chosen for the destiny He has for you. Yes, God's will is always fulfilled, but your decision to participate in the destiny He has for you in this time and this moment is totally up to you. Seek His face. Call to Him today. He is listening, and He is enough.
That's my starting point for change. What is yours going to be?
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