Birth Order, KP, The Help, and Laziness

Okay, first things first, you need to go read my sister's blog over here.

Then you need to realize that I am hoping she will bring lots of eggnog to Thanksgiving next week, and I will provide Captain Morgan spiced silver rum.   And then we will pretend we are pirate wenches as we make some Christmas crafts Mom has planned for us.  Dawn will be the good one, and she will no doubt be cleaning the kitchen as we are living it up and letting her assume her God given role as older/responsible sister.  And while that role may sound sarcastic, you can't beat birth order, and she is undoubtedly chosen to be the oldest.  Therefore, she is the most responsible.  Poor her.


You know, I used to feel bad when my siblings talked about how spoiled I am as the youngest sibling.  Then I decided that I have no control over birth order.  And if I was spoiled, then it wasn't my fault.  So now my response to the fact that Dawn was never allowed to have Barbies because Dad thought they were trashy is "Sorry about your luck.  I even owned the Barbie town house, complete with elevator.  So there."

Doesn't she appear to be beleaguered and overworked?

 And as for Paula being the middle sister in a family of four kids with one boy, it just is what it is.  Surely that means she can relate better to my mom, who is the middle of three sisters also.  And it means that since her feelings are never considered, she is more aware of how others feel, so surely she's a better person for being a middle child.  Again, this may SOUND like sarcasm, but I'm just citing birth order theory and lately it's been hitting me how REAL the characteristics are that develop as a result of birth order.

Yes, this woman is obviously never noticed or considered.

My oldest wants to adopt a child.  Not like an African child, where you are committed to $25 dollars/month, but a child that will come and live in our house.  Forever and ever.  That was a bolt out of the blue.  And it would turn my youngest into a middle child, and let me tell you, she does NOT have middle child tendencies, so it would be a struggle for her.

And speaking of siblings, a few weeks ago the girls and I were having a random conversation about something.  I know it related to Brent never being at the table when the rest of us were ready to eat.  And somehow that evolved into disappearing acts for kitchen clean up.

"I don't know which of you it will be, but one of you will be shirker of kitchen clean up at family dinners.  The shirker will either suddenly develop the urge to use the bathroom, or breast feed a baby, or possibly even sit in the living room to 'visit with grandmother.'  Do not think for a minute that those in the kitchen are unaware of your shirker ways.  They WILL be aware, and they WILL be talking about you."

And I was honest enough to admit I myself have been the shirker of kitchen duty.  And I was also honest enough to admit that it has probably never been Dawn.  Because, again she is the oldest.  And therefore the most responsible.  Her burden is immense.

Anyhoo, that random conversation has lead to the fact that if one sibling leaves the kitchen to visit the facilities, the other sibling stops all kitchen duty until the absentee sibling shows up.  I acknowledge this was an unintended consequence.  But it is an amusing one.
 
Speaking of lazy,  I AM LOVING WORKING TWO DAYS PER WEEK!!!  I have moments where I feel guilty because I actually have free time.  But then I get over it.  It is so awesome to not have to clean my entire house on Wednesday, along with grocery shopping and car washing and seven loads of laundry.  Now I do a chore every day, along with a load every day.  Well, I was doing a load about every day anyway, but Wednesday was also bedding day.  Now, I wash one person's bedding per day and my back is not in misery at the end of sheet day!

I have time to work out!  I have time to coupon!  I have time to actually stroll through the store and see things that I never saw before because each trip to the store was simply a marathon sprint of tunnel vision where I only got what was needed and did not allow myself to browse as there was no time!  And now I'm realizing that browsing the store can lead to unexpected purchases....

Leading up to Christmas this is expected.  But I will have to be sure I don't let it become the pattern or Brent will make me start working more.

Speaking of sheet day, have you read The Help by Kathryn Stockett?  I thought it was so funny how Minny hated "damn sheet day."  And I always said a little "amen" in my head every time she bemoaned washing sheets.  And my task is not near as onerous or hands on as hers was!

Okay, this post has gone entirely too long.   Have a happy weekend!

P.S.  In FOREsight, this post could possibly come back to haunt me.  As in next weekend at Thanksgiving when we will have a family dinner, complete with big kitchen clean up.  *sigh*   Perhaps foresight isn't a good thing when one ignores it?

Bodies in Motion

Have you ever worked out with Gilad?  He's this Jewish guy who did work outs in the 90s, and then got restarted a few years ago on Fit TV.  Of course, we no longer receive Fit TV, as we have antennae.  But I still have some of his workouts on DVD and they are quite painful.  Anyway, I always chuckled when at the end of the workout he would say, "Thank you for trusting me with your body."  It's always nice to end a sweatfest with a chuckle.

Hey, guess what?  I decided to check out Gilad on Youtube and sure enough he has posted several workouts for your sweating enjoyment!  Here is a sample of his first video:

A body in motion tends to stay in motion.  That's why after I got home from a class at work, I should NEVER have SAT DOWN and attempted to figure out how to do my schedule from home online.  After 45 minutes I gave up and got through to the helpline.  Only to discover that indeed I'm NOT stupid, but that the program does not work under the search engine I was using.  So that was good to know...

And once I finally got that ordeal worked through, I was utterly worthless...Because I got sucked into my computer and found myself reading blogs/emails/and facebook.  Which is why I've still avoided Pinterest.  My thighs can't survive it.

Monday was my daughter's first school basketball game.  She is in 7th grade, and it was painful.  The final score was 34 to 7.  They.  The opposing team girls ran circles around our little novices...

But even though we got it handed to us, it was still imminently more enjoyable than a softball game where we come out ahead by 10 runs.  And I asked Brent "Why would ANYONE watch softball when they could be watching or playing THIS?"

Bookworm and I played a game of "21" on Saturday.  Only it turned in to a game of "11" because either we are both AMAZING at defense...or really terrible at offense.  The final score was 11 to 7, my favor.  And I was still sore on Monday.

Brent pointed out that he hardly ever takes shots on her, as he's 10 inches taller.  I told him she's not stupid and there's no glory in a hollow victory.  That is why my kids were never able to beat me at Twister.

Today I will endeavor to coupon for the first time in MONTHS.  But since I now get the Sunday paper, and have a dog who FETCHES the paper for me, I have an accumulation of coupons to choose from again.

Did you know that if we did NOT receive a paper, and I say "Go get the paper," this dog will indeed bring me a paper?  She may have to go steal it from the neighbors driveway, but she will always GET THE PAPER!  (And yes, I returned it.  Once I stopped laughing long enough to take it back.)

And, now it is time to put my body in motion and get busy with house work, since I've decided I will have a MUCH cleaner house now.  Going to work two days per week is the BOMB people!  Why on earth did I ever do eight hour shifts when I could work ridiculously long days, but be home other days?  Why, why, why?  Incidentally, I'm working three whole days the week after Thanksgiving.  I'm pretty sure there will be weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

By me, of course.

Signs of The Times

I'm observant.  I notice people.  What they are wearing, their hair, their overall appearance of health.  I tend to spontaneously make diagnoses as I'm out and about based on skin tone, fingernail health and the shape of their hands and chest...The list goes on.  I like to watch people and see how they act, and wonder what they are doing, where they are from and what sort of lives they lead.  I like to try and guess if the mom stays home or if the grandma is raising her grandkids, or if that dad who is buying groceries with kids in tow is going to get home with any real food...

Like I said, I'm observant.

Except when I'm not observant, and then I'm just narcissistic and wrapped up in myself.

I'm sure that is an astounding revelation as I write a blog that is all about me.  Clearly, any narcissism I have is minimal...

I went grocery shopping on Saturday evening, and while I had not planned to coupon (and believe me if you're using "coupon" as a verb it takes extensive planning) my husband had suggested I run to Crest for all but the toiletries we were in need of.

As I walked into the store I saw an in-store coupon sheet that had a giant sign on it "One flyer per customer and one coupon per item listed per day."  I chuckled at the sign, remembering a lady who walked right in front of me at Homeland the other day and took every single in store coupon flyer.  And she didn't even let me have one!  I just stood their and stared with my jaw on the ground.  In hindsight, I wish I had said, "Seriously lady?"  However, Crest has a lovely greeter who hands you a cart and stands right by the coupon bin, so I doubt they have that issue.

I happily picked up the flyer and perused it.  It looked to have some pretty good deals, but until I saw the price of the product I was unsure.  I also was unsure if I could stack the coupons in the flyer with manufacturer coupons, so again I was skeptical on it's worthiness, but decided to compare as I shopped.  I was pleasantly surprised to realize that the coupons were usually on two items, but if you used the coupon, your second item would be free.  For example Kraft singles were two dollars and the coupon was for two dollars off two packages of Kraft singles.

I joyfully pulled my handy dandy scissors out of my coupon organizer and clipped out the coupons I decided to use as I bought my originally planned items.

As I clipped my coupons I could not help but notice the number of people who were buying the exact item I was, but not using a coupon.  I felt compelled to point the coupon flyer out to them.  A few of the said "thanks" but others felt coupons were too much work.  Even if the flyer was right in front of them and the item was on sale! 

I also noticed the large number of families carrying multiple competitor store flyers around, deciding which store had the best price and whether they should wait and go to Homeland in the hopes that they could get some good double coupon deals, or debating if Walmarts chicken breast would be cheaper after the coupon was factored in.  Granted, I'm fairly new to couponing, but I promise the amount of people with plastic shoe boxes and binders full of coupons is astounding.  Take a gaze around next time you are in the store.  You might be surprised.

 If you are ever in the downtown area the other thing you might be surprised to notice is the alarming amount of homeless.  I drive under the interstate on my way to work in the downtown area every day.  As I am driving, the homeless are starting to get up from their beds under the bridge.  They each have their own little space between the bridge beams, and they are usually getting up and stretching or straightening their beds as I am stopped waiting on lights.  There is also an empty lot just north of the underpass, and the other day I noticed a man standing up in the Johnson grass and diligently combing his hair.  Another day I saw a man and woman walking with their arms around each other as they left the little underpass community.

As I mentioned yesterday I went to a resale shop and grabbed some clothes for the girls.  Two of the shirts I bought were from Old Navy and still had the tags on them, but I only paid $2.99 for them.  I even noticed some jeans from The Buckle with the tag still on them.  They were $8.99, and way too big for my girls.  I didn't buy them as I have no desire to store jeans for two years in the hopes that the super skinny jean will still be in style when one of my kids can fit them.

Today as we left gymnastics Popcorn begged me to take her to eat Chinese.  I was resisting her, saying that her father and I had already discussed tonight would be leftover night, and she could have a sandwich or hot pocket or burrito if she didn't want leftover lasagna...My husband called and suggested that next week we start swapping off who takes Popcorn to gymnastics and make Thursday a little date night with the kids.  I decided to make the plan effective immediately, and I wheeled into a little Chinese place in a nearby shopping strip.  I had skipped lunch at work, and though I'd stuffed my face with cookies, a handful of goldfish left from my daughter's lunch and a few almonds when I got home, it did not satisfy my hunger. Skipping lunch tends to do that to me.

As we left the shopping strip I noticed that there were sprinklers going in all of the flower beds.  The wind is blowing 25 miles per hour and the water was running down the driveway.  I find that shameful when we are in a drought that is showing no signs of any significant relief.

So, I really had nothing to say.  Just lots of observations. 

People are desperate to save money, while others can't even be bothered to take advantage of a deal when it is easily within their grasp.

There is a serious drought going on, and I can't help but shake my head at the folks who have maintained immaculately green lawns.

Some are selling clothes on consignment that have never been worn, while just twenty minutes away others have built themselves a little village under the bridge in downtown.

P.S.  On a totally unrelated/irreverent note:  Every time I type in couponing, blogger spell check suggests coupling...

About Those Coupons...

Yes.  I'm still couponing.  I did pretty well this week, and since someone asked me if I was still at it, I thought I'd give you a little glimpse of what I buy!

Color you excited!

Two things you should disregard about this photo:
1.  It is out of focus.  I ain't no professional y'all, and I was shooting this double quick before my ice cream melted!
2.  I need to really clean off my kitchen cabinets in the background before taking pictures of my bargains.  It lends the strange idea that I may not be all that is neat and organized....Which is probably true, but I don't need to be propagating the theory!

So, there's the photo, and I will list the most exciting parts of it.

Because a: I need to make a list of housework to be done, but who wants to do housework?
               b: I love lists!

1.  The eggs:  They were FREE with the purchase of two packages of Borden cheese, which was only $1.74.
2.  The two cans of biscuits were only $.18!!!  Woot! Woot!
3.  I could live off of peanut butter, and that jar was fuh-REEE!
4.  Just this morning I found a recipe for pulled pork when I was clipping coupons, and guess what?  I got that pork tenderloin for only $2.49!  I have all of the other ingredients to make it in my crock pot, and they were all free!
5.  See that Nutella?  I got it for a measly buck!  They were sold out last week when they were on sale, but I asked for a rain check and he gave me three.  So, next week I will get another Nutella, then the week after that another!  Because they were on sale for $3, and I have three different dollar off coupons, but the store only doubles the coupon once and only lets you purchase one per day...Sadness.  Anyway, I will just carry my little rain check in with me over the next two weeks and have a total of three Nutellas for three dollars!  Yum!
6.  My total bill for the day was $45.96 after taxes, and that was a savings of $21.65 with coupons, then an additional $33.91 saved counting the sale prices...Of course, you realize I feel the sale prices mean it was probably overpriced anyway, but it's pretty exciting to think I saved fifty seven percent off my bill!

Now, you may consider your day complete, but first answer me one question:
What's your favorite way to save money?

The Perfect Sunday

Before you read this post, you really need to go visit my mother and wonder why she has any hair left...And understand why what she has is all gray!  Click here to find out why.

Are you back?  Good!

Do you remember Darma and Greg?  He was  down to earth attorney, and she was a yoga instructor raised by hippies?  There was an episode where she has their super market checker move in with them because she's pregnant with no place to go, and Greg keeps wondering how they know this lady.  Darma says, "GREG!  She's our super market checker!  If we don't step up and help her, then who will?!"


I think of that every time my husband goes to the store with me and he's flabbergasted to realize I ask about their children, their spouses, how they are feeling, etc.

This statement seems random right now, but you will understand later on.

Sunday it rained all day long.  It was wonderful, except we had a track meet scheduled that afternoon for my youngest daughter.  We went to church as usual, and then headed home straight after to change in to rain gear for the meet.  We headed on into town to make sure that we wouldn't be rushed and enjoyed a light lunch at Subway.  While we were there we got the news that the meet was delayed until further notice due to the rain...

Well, since we were in town anyway, and I happened to have my coupons with me, I made my family go with me to get groceries...Because I had resisted going on Wednesday, but now that we were right next door, there was no reason to not go!

Yes, they drove me crazy.  No, I didn't get everything I could have if I hadn't had distractions...But I did walk away with 4lbs of chicken at 29 cents a pound!  What a steal!!!

Of course, if they hadn't been with  me, i would have never bought that dad gum Axe deodorant that was on clearance because I would have realized my coupon expired the day before.  The bagger had already buried it in other items, so I just coughed up the wasted two extra bucks.  Grudgingly.

Dang it.

Anyhoo, my girls said, "Mommy, if you let us stop by the house and grab our purses we will go with you to Walmart."

What a blessing!  NOT!  However, their garage sale earnings were burning a hole in their pockets, so I let them tag along for cat food and other items I had to buy.

We came home and I saw Studmuffin watching FX.  IT WAS SUPER HERO SUNDAY!  We love super hero movies.  Because I'm nerdy like that.  I watched the end of Hulk, then watched the first Iron Man, which I have on disc but still endured commercials to watch on tv.  We cracked ourselves up talking about all of the symbolism and the little Easter eggs you miss until you've watched it 12 times.  The commercials ended up being handy to change out loads of laundry and empty the dishwasher and talk about all of the deep symbolism in Marvel comic heroes...

As soon as Obadiah was killed, we flipped it over to the news...to find out Bin Laden was dead!

What a day!  Couponing, super hero movies and Osama dead!  I could scarce get to to sleep there was so much excitement around here...

So, do you want to hear about my nerdy couponing adventure the last two days?  We are out of razors.  I noticed in the Walgreen's sale bill that I could get Studmuffin a razor with a four dollar off coupon and get five dollars in register rewards.  I also needed razors, and could get two dollars in register rewards.  I happened to already have five dollars in rewards from getting my kids allergy medicine there Sunday...

Wait!  They had forgotten to give me my rewards, but I had my receipt, so I was planning on getting them given to me.

So, last night on my way home I grabbed Studmuffin's five blade razor, and headed to the check out.  I let a man with one item in front of me.  I insisted he go, "Because I'm hungry, but not that cranky...Yet."  (And I didn't want him to realize that I'm going to beg for my forgotten five dollar coupon) Which lead to me discussing our dinner plans with this random stranger and the checker.


After I explained my situation, she happily corrected the problem, but there was a hitch.  I was going to have two manufacturer coupons for one item, so I HAD to purchase a second item.  She recommended I grab an Ooey Gooey Butter Cake at their check out for 99 cents.  I walked away spending $2.89 on a Ten dollar razor and a 99 cent snack cake...

But it gets better!!  They gave me my five dollar register reward...

I know lots of people do several transactions in one trip, but I was too embarrassed to do that.  I had learned that my checker was closing the store last night in our little chat, so I figured it would be safe to go back this morning to grab razors for me and some Qtips, as we were out anyway.  And she would be none the wiser and forget all about me and my plans for chicken tacos...

I headed straight there after dropping the kids at school.

I made the small error of wandering into their lawn and garden area.  I am now hoping my husband and children go there and get me some Mother's Day gifts.  They had the cutest things, and I got my mother a gift that there was only one left of, so she better dang well appreciate it, because I REALLY wanted it....

Moving on...

So, I headed to the check out and THE SAME LADY WAS WORKING!!  "Maybe she won't recognize me,"  I told myself.

"Are you the lady who bought one of those cakes last night?"

Caught!  "Yes.  I shared it with my daughter.  You are right, they really do melt in your mouth."  And I sheepishly handed her my razors, the Qtips and my mom's gift....Along with my coupons.

Guess what?!  I got another two dollar register reward!  And their Garnier hair products are on sale, and I have a coupon, and if I use my two dollar off coupon, I will get them for free!

Only I am waiting at least two days before I go back.  Because then maybe I won't appear as if I have nothing but coupons in my life...

So, in closing I wll say that apparently friendliness and chattiness doesn't always pay off!  Because if you share your life story with everyone you meet, they remember you!

DRAT!

Cook This

Do you want a delicious meal that is ready in 30 minutes or less?

Grab these ingredients:
Savory Garlic Philadelphia Cooking Creme
Pasta
Chicken Breast

Here's the deal:

Take that whole bag of chicken breasts and throw it in your crock pot in the morning (I put mine in at about 7:30 this morning) along with some cloves of garlic and some oregano.  Cook this on low all day.

Have you seen the new Philadelphia cooking creams?  If you're like me, you found a dollar off coupon for it, and realized it would double at Homeland and you walked away with a new ingredient you had no concrete plans for....

But it was only 19 cents, so what the heck!

You will also need a box of pasta (that there is a good chance you got for free if you follow Coupon Closet.)  If you don't follow Coupon Closet and you live in the OKC metro area, you should.  I have $150 left in this month's grocery budget and I have everything I need aside from a few gallons of milk to see us through the end of the month.

Cook your pasta according to package directions.  While it's cooking, pour about 2T of EVOO in the bottom of a skillet.  Why?   I have no idea, but it really seemed like the thing to do, and it makes me feel like a fancy cook to drizzle it around in a circle.  Empty your container of Savory Garlic Philadelphia Cooking Creme, and add that chicken, chopped or shredded, that is lovely and delicious after cooking in the crockpot all day.  I eyeballed enough to serve the four of us with leftovers (maybe three breasts?)  It was falling apart as I grabbed it out, so my amount is guestimated.  Heat it through, then toss with your pasta.  Serve with Rhodes Warm N Serve Rolls, that again you'd get for free nearly every week if you followed Coupon Closet, as she would tell you where to get coupons and where they are on sale...

Try to hold back your frustration as you wait for that husband to get home from buying fencing supplies.  If you are wise you will plant a big smacker right on his face the minute he walks in, as you might POSSIBLY have been nagging him to put up a new one...

Not that I know anything about nagging, or the skill with which to yield it...I prefer to just start projects that I have no idea how to complete, and do them in a slapdash shoddy fashion...Before you know it my hero has stepped in and saved the day!

And no nagging was necessary!

Feel free to use this tip to your own advantage. 

Go type a blog and tell everyone about the fabulous dinner you made in no time flat.

Serve it up to your family with some tossed salad (topped with dressing that you found for a measly 67 cents a bottle, again thanks to Carrie over at Coupon Closet) and bask in the adoration they pour out on you...

I Think I've Went Over the Edge

It's official.

I'm becoming one of THEM...You know the ones.

Those crazy ladies in the grocery store with a shoe box full of coupons?  The kind who write down the price of items at Walmart, to see if they can get them cheaper at Homeland if the coupon is doubled...

I'm one of them.

*SIGH*

It's really no surprise.  I've always been disgustingly frugal.  Take my couches.  I've decided not to get new ones.  I want new floors and a bigger fence in the back yard more. It's really okay, though.  When I bought my couches I very carefully considered whether they were "traditional" and if they would match a variety of settings.  Considering I've had them in 3 different houses and an apartment, and I've had different colored walls every single place, I think I did fairly well.

But, this is actually a post about my couponing endeavors...

Studmuffin took the girls to softball practice Thursday night.  (I loathe softball, and the whole family knows it.  I consider practice their special time with Daddy...)  I decided to go hit the stores and do some couponing.  I am still trying to stick to only shopping every 2 weeks, so I really have to think about what I'm going to buy.  It takes a lot of work and preparation, I'm not gonna lie.

I decided to pop into Walgreens.  I was totally unprepared.  I had not even glanced at their sale bill.  However, I was able to get all of this for $4.43.  That was a total savings of $13.93.

I know I could have gotten tons of stuff more, if I had actually looked through the sale bill and my coupons, but I was just giving this a trial run to see if I have time or energy to add another store to my shopping.

Next I ran into Walmart to buy the things I needed that I did not have coupons for.  I ended up finding manufacturer tear off coupons in their aisles.  They were for $1.00 off.  That doubles at Homeland!  However, if Walmart was enough cheaper, I would not be saving at Homeland.  Homeland is notoriously overpriced.  That is why I only buy things with coupons that are on sale there...Needless to say I was in Walmart a looong time, deciding if items would be cheaper that I needed if I had  coupon that doubled at Homeland.

At last I went to Homeland, and I felt like I scored pretty big!  I got all of this for $39.98.  That was a savings of $54.69 off the retail price!  A sixty percent savings!

The only kicker is that I bought a bunch of junk I would normally NEVER buy because it is just junk, and it is a waste of money.  However, since it was practically free, I couldn't resist!  You will laugh, but I actually had a talk with my girls this morning on what they are allowed to eat, and how many a day.  One yogurt or pudding cup a day.  One snack bar a day.  One bowl of cereal per day.  You see, the first time I went couponing, the little twerps snarfed down all the junk food in the first three days because they were so pumped to actually have junk food!

And, for those of you who know what a label reader I am, those dad gum frozen dinners sucked me in at sixty cents a piece.  I know my husband will use them for work some day when we don't have leftovers and he's sick of sandwiches...

And those snack bars?  You bet your boots they have high fructose corn syrup in them...How the mighty have fallen in the face of super cheap snacks.

So, we will see how this whole couponing thing continues to work.  I bought all of the groceries I will need for the rest of the month, through the first week of April yesterday, aside from probably 2 more loaves of bread, 4 gallons of milk, and I will have to replenish fresh produce as we do eat apples, bananas, grapes, and such daily. 

Oh, and just in case you were wondering about my month overall, I have saved every receipt and my grand total spent on groceries for this month was $282.57 (remember this gets me through the first week of April.)  That is every single household item we have bought from cleaners to fish food to people food.  My normal budget for groceries is $500 per month.  That may seem like a lot to some of you, but we only eat out once per week, and we take our meals to work, and I'm kind of freaky about labels.  I have learned that junk food is a lot cheaper than wholesome food like yogurt, cheese, fruit and peanut butter...

This month I went a little crazy and tried to buy very little without a coupon or sale items.  I forced myself to make a meal when typically I would have said "I have no food, I need to go to the store."  That means that next month I will have depleted much of the stuff I normally have extra of, so I may not do as well.

We shall see.  We shall see.

P.S.  After I typed this Coupon Closet posted her Homeland shopping trip...Which totally depressed me as I didn't do nearly as well.  But, if you need inspiration to at least give coupons a try, go over and visit her to learn how she bought $255 worth of groceries for $27.32!!!!   That is amazing.

Crazy Coupon Ladies

This week was my first official week as a "couponer."

Yep.  I'm pretty sure I'm on the verge of becoming one of those crazy coupon ladies who get totally high off of free groceries...

Unless I totally flake out which is totally a possibility since I pretty much stink at commitment.

Unless I do so fantastical that I get to quit my job because I somehow miraculously figure out how to feed my family organic food for free every month...

Wednesday I went online to Coupon Closet and perused the match ups for the Homeland flier.  Basically, this saint of a woman named Carrie clips coupons religiously.  She takes the Homeland sale bill (Homeland doubles coupons up to a dollar every day) and matches up online and paper insert coupons for items that are free or extremely cheap.

Since I do not subscribe to the paper, and had only purchased one paper, I was limited to clicking on her links (seriously, she has a link that you click on and then just print the coupon) and using those coupons.  If you are at all  interested, the thing I must tell you before you go visit her and start clicking and printing is that you should create a coupon email address so your inbox is not flooded with other junk.  She gives this advice and it seems very wise.  I ended up wasting lots of time signing up for some name brands to send me emails to my new coupon address so that I could get online coupons for peanut butter and waffles and such...

I went to Homeland on my way home from work Thursday.  I had $17 dollars worth of coupons, printed strictly online and I refrained from printing anything I classified as not needed or just pure junk.  I was strangely nervous.

I didn't have a Homeland card.  I didn't know if the checker would really double the "do not double" coupon.  I was afraid I'd get the wrong item and then I'd be stuck with name brand stuff when off brand would be cheaper and on and on and on...

I stopped at the eggs. I had a coupon that I could use to end up getting them for $0.45 each.  I noticed a lady perusing her printed coupon and the eggs at the same time as me...

I wandered over to the lunch meat.  The same lady was grabbing some lunch meat with a printed coupon.  We each got a 12oz shredded turkey pack for $0.50. 

We stopped at the yogurt.  The display with the valid coupon was empty.  My heart thumped.  My palms started sweating.  What was I to do?  I really, really, really, really WANTED that free yogurt.  I eat yogurt nearly every day.  My daughter packs it in her lunch...My first failure as a couponer was looming at me, and I was uncertain of what to do next.

"Are you looking for the YoPlus yogurt?" she asked.

"Yeah.  I guess it's all gone.  I'm new to this coupon thing.  How do I get a rain check?"

"I don't know.  I've only been doing it about 3 weeks, and I've never needed to get one.  I guess we just go ask customer service."  And then we totally launched into a conversation about Coupon Closet (she even had her handy dandy shoebox with her, complete with scissors, I noted) and her various trials and successes with couponing.  Apparently she has a coworker who is hooked as well, and now they both swap coupons every Monday morning and share shopping bargain stories with each other.

I swear, by the time I walked away, I felt like I had made a new friend who I knew was trying to pay off two cars that will be paid off hopefully by the end of this summer.  She works, but is trying to convince her husband that she can quit after they get their cars paid off and if she does REALLY good couponing...

Basically, I just met a soul sister in the dairy aisle at my local Homeland. 

After I hugged her, kissed her on the cheek goodbye and had a moment of prayer over her desire to quit working*, I skipped down the aisle to Customer Service to get my Homeland card and rain check for my free YoPlus yogurt....

I happily checked out for $5 even, with $16.79 worth of groceries. And $3 of that was for cheese, which I did NOT have a coupon for!  I felt like that was pretty good for my maiden voyage into the land of couponing...

As I gently laid my eggs on the floor of my back seat I realized I forgot to ask for my new soul sister's number before we said goodbye.

Perhaps we will meet again in the frozen food aisle as we scavenge for our favorite frozen pizza that we will inevitably be getting for free.

Or perhaps the whole hugging/kissing/prayer thing totally freaked her out and she will never visit that Homeland again as long as she lives.

*Please understand, Gentle Reader, I'm only kidding about the hugging/kissing/prayer thing.  It sounded like a crazy thing I'd do, and I might have if I hadn't been in such a hurry to get home!