I Never Was Like the Other Girls

Attention: As I started this post, I realized I had started a similar post and never completed it back in May, so I'll paste it here, then continue with my thought process, which of course, is long and drawn out....

There are indicators that I could possibly be a Nerd.

Or at the very least different.

Eclectic.

An Original.

One of A Kind.

Or...If you must say.... I'm nerdy.

Studmuffin and I celebrated 14 years of wedded bliss on Tuesday. We decided to paint the town.

We started the evening with an incredibly fattening meal at Olive Garden. I heart Olive Garden.

I heart their salad. Their bread sticks....Their Seafood Portofino....

Okay, I feel my wasteline expanding as I type, so I need to move on.

We went to Bricktown in OKC and wandered around, then went to a movie.

Because we're such a romantic couple.

I love super hero movies. That's why we went to Iron Man 2. It was awesome. I loved it. I want to buy it. I can't wait to watch it again...

Here's a shocker: I refuse to go to movies that I know will make me cry, or read books that could possibly make me a better person. No. I would much rather read a trashy romance, or a Clive Cussler action novel or even Agatha Christy. I heart Miss Marple...

More indicators of my "differentness:"

I also don't like sports. Can you even imagine? I live in Oklahoma and I have zero interest in sports. I take my very best naps during football games. I do enjoy live basketball, and I even understand all of the rules, but I would rather read than watch it on TV.

I don't do technology. I blog. I check email. I look at facebook if someone friends me or sends me a message. But I don't own an iphone. I'm pretty sure it would be a waste of money. I would never bother to buy applications, or download them, or whatever. Have you noticed my blog remains unchanged? I can't be bothered to update my blog look! What are the odds I'd bother to try new apps?

Guess what else you will be surprised to know!!!

I don't buy music.

Not CD's.

Not down-loadable music.

No music.

Unless my kids want it, then Studmuffin downloads it, or I buy a CD and pop it in their stocking or valentine bag or Easter basket, or whatever.

Surely only strange people do not buy songs, but instead listen to the radio nonstop?

So, now I will continue with my new post, with a brief interruption to tell you that while I typically avoid chick flicks, the girls and I went to see Ramona and Beezus...

YOU SIMPLY MUST MUST MUST SEE THIS MOVIE!!!

You will laugh! You will cry! You will love every stinkin' minute of it!

Returning to post:

I had an epiphany my freshman year of high school. I became glaringly aware that I was "not like the other kids." I remember very clearly that we were in Algebra. We were discussing which day of the month it was...I stated very confidently, "Well, today is Tuesday, so it is clearly the 14th."

Silence descended. My friends looked at me strangely. Jennifer finally said, "Why does being Tuesday make it the 14th?"

"Oh! I always look at the calendar at the beginning of each month so I can see which day of the week will be divisible by 7. This month it is Tuesday. That makes today the 14th."

Crickets chirped.

All eyes turned on me, with jaws slightly dropped...

I immediately blushed and began to sweat profusely...

And, I slowly realized that the other kids did not think like me. They thought I was totally weird to think that way at all...

And THAT, Gentle Reader, is the day that I realized I am just not like the other girls!

Okay, I'll tell you my secret...

I have a scar in my belly button. No, I didn't have laparascopic surgery. No, I didn't have liposuction...I wish. Mine is way more romantic than either of those.

Many years ago, way back in 1998, there was a young married couple. They were deeply in love. Studmuffin decided to prove his love on a romantic camping trip to Turner Falls, OK. After a day of hiking Studmuffin decided to build a camp fire for his lady love. Oh, it was going to be a beautiful fall night. He had even complied with state regulations and brought his own wood that he had bought at his local Albertson's. No chopping down the local forest for this romeo. Nope... he followed the rules.

Hey, did you know that the wood you buy at your local Albertson's is sometimes green? Yes, it's very hard to light. But Studmuffin persevered, and after dousing the green wood in approximately 2 cans of lighter fluid he triumphed. His lady love was chilly, and he wanted some romance...and he was pretty darn sure that wouldn't happen if she was cold. His lady love hated to be cold.

Well, after getting the fire started, things started progressing quite nicely for Studmuffin. Ooolala, the romantic fires were burning...did I say burning? What is that burning sensation? Lady Love let out a screech of pain, and scared poor Studmuffin to death! What did he do? Was there a fire breathing dragon that needed to be slain? Yes! But not in the expected manner! You see, the aforementioned green wood had popped... and popped a burning ember, out of the fire, and as Studmuffin's luck would have it, right into his lady love's belly button. She tried to flick away the burning sensation. Unfortunately, that only pushed it further in. She began to screech and thrash...Dear Reader, it was NOT romantic. She had to resort to grabbing the glowing ember, and plucking it out! Now she had burned fingers too!

The story, sadly, gets worse. Lady Love was not yet a nurse, she was a student nurse, and unprepared for the risks of adventurous living. She had no burn cream, no antiseptic, no pain reliever...nada. And let me tell you, she was in pain.

Oh, she tried to be strong. She tried to ignore the pain, but alas, she was weak. She had to be taken to the first aid station.

Did you know they want to SEE your burn when you show up in the middle of the night asking for pain reliever and antibiotic ointment? Aack! Lady Love was so humiliated. The park ranger wanted to know HOW she managed to burn her belly button. "None of your beeswax, bucko! Now just give me some ibuprofen and neosporin!" Of course, she was more gentle than this (she was humiliated after all, and wanted to get in and out by bringing as little attention to herself as possible.)

Well, Lady Love and Studmuffin got their supplies and returned to camp, but the romantic atmosphere was no more. They enjoyed the remainder of their trip (minus the flames of love.) But... was it their imagination or did the park staff all chuckle when they happened by them on their hikes? Alas, the paranoia became more than Lady Love could bear...They packed up and returned to their safe little apartment in Arlington, TX. The end.