Safety FIRST!!!

We went to the State Fair last Friday night...


AKA The Freak Show.

I saw two police officers in a golf cart, forcing their way through the crowded midway...The cop riding as passenger was eating corn on a stick. He had a kernel of corn on his chin.

I felt safer just looking at him.

Don't you love how you can virtually everything on a stick at the fair?

We stopped to admire a dude spray painting AMAZING landscapes. I failed to notice the drunk guy next to us. Until he literally almost fell on top of Popcorn. I mean, cuh-RAZY drunk...

This was about 8:30. Did you know I hate crowds? I do. I get all nervous and sweaty and irritable. Add alcohol to the mix, and I'm a complete bundle of nerves. I have issues with that too. Seriously. That drunk guy almost sent me into a total chest clutching anxiety attack. Now, I won't pretend I never drink. That would be a lie. But I have an absolute phobia of drunk people. They are just too unpredictable and I am so nervous that I can't even relax.

So. I was having a great time in a crowd surrounded by drunk people...

I kept thinking, "What kind of parents are we to have our kids out in this? Next year, we are leaving by dark." Which is what we typically do. Primarily because we go on Dollar Day, which is a school night. Of course, we couldn't go on that day this year, so late drunk night it had to be...

In other Super Safety Encouraging News, Popcorn wanted to ride every single ride that spun and ESPECIALLY the ones that went upside down...

Bookworm nearly hurled on the swings, and she was done. She did decide to ride the Ferris Wheel. You know those lines take forever to let all the people off and on...

As we finally got close to the front I noticed a disturbing grinding noise. I saw one of the workers climb under the ride, open a door, and begin to bang on something with a wrench. Loudly. I started to question the safety of this ride, but in typical amusement park fashion, I was hesitant to step out of line to get on one of the other 4 Ferris Wheels...The line was SO LONG and we had waited forever..."Baby, I think we need to ride a different ride. This one is making funny sounds and they are working on it...While they continue to put people on." She was disappointed, but as we walked away, they shut the ride down. WHEW!

In even more Super Safety Encouraging News we had to go shopping Saturday. NOT my favorite activity. However, Popcorn's shoes that were all of 3 weeks old were too small, so we bit the bullet. On our way home we held a vote between Chik fil A and Freddy's Frozen Custard. We unanimously voted on Freddy's. Their fries are to die for...

As we were eating, a strange banging sounded on the roof. We were wondering if it was a nail gun or a sledge hammer when suddenly a loud crash was heard and a large pile of roof fell onto the table across from us. Literally. A hole appeared in the ceiling. As in, a hole you can see sky through. I'm not sure what sort of roofing materials they were using, but I think a sledge hammer was somewhere in the mix.

Remember the fries that are to die for? Well, apparently, they really are.

Because we totally stayed and finished eating.

No joke.

As we left we noted the sign written in ball point pen on a piece of printer paper: Lobby closed dew to construction. Drive thru open.

Good to know that the people at Freddy's not only make a mean fry, but they obviously excel in grammar.

$67.45

That's all it cost me. Yep, I've been hoarding my Christmas money, unwilling to spend it on eating out, groceries, or clothing for my children. I will simply repair their raggedy clothing so I can have some new for myself, thank you very much. And it paid off!! Wooooooo-hooooo!!!

What the heck is she talking about, you ask? Well, you see, we went to see my father-in-law in the hospital today. On the way home we had to stop by the mall to return an item for Studmuffin's aunt. I asked if I could go into JCPenney and take a peak. Studmuffin has been nagging me to buy myself some clothes, so of course he agreed! I hate shopping. It makes me thirsty and hungry and cranky. Not a good combo. Anyhoo, I obviously don't seek out shopping opportunities, quite the opposite in fact.

So, back to my point... I went into the big JCP, and found they are having a 75% off sale. I got 4 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of shoes for $67.45! Can you believe that!? I'm still giddy. I swear, I could have found way more stuff, but from the time we hit the mall entrance I only had 45 minutes before we had to leave to be back in time for youth choir.

I got this lovely pair for $6.97. Yep. $6.97. Studmuffin arrived as I was frantically digging through the clearance rack (they had 2 racks of shoes at this price) along with about 30 other women. I had about 6 boxes of shoes stacked in my arms, along with my 4 pairs of pants. Picture me, teetering, digging, clutching, sweating, fighting the urge to shove the lovely little lady in front of me out of the way so I can see better. And her screaming child too. Could she just make it be quiet please? Better yet, could she just leave the store entirely? I'm on a mission....And it's important. My face is flushed. I'm short of breath. Veins are beginning to bulge on my forehead. My eyes are glazed over. I'm focused. Focused. Focused. One goal is in mind....Get shoes.

"What on earth is this?" Studmuffin asked, "It looks like a circus here. Why on earth do you have all those shoes?"

"Don't ask questions." I hand him a stack as I dig deeper. "Don't set those down, whatever you do!" Dear Reader, you understand, right? The cataclysmic event that may have occurred had he thoughtlessly sat those precious boxes down in the middle of a mob of shoe-thirsty women! Scratching. Biting. Clawing. Screaming..I shudder just thinking about it!

Men don't understand the danger that would pose. Some other woman might snatch them up, and then I would miss out! Well, I'd either miss out, or wrestle her to the ground and rip the box from her hands. But, I'm not sure that would be reflecting Christ. Instead, I was just grabbing every box I could to be perused at a safe distance from the mob. I'm pretty sure there's no scripture references to greed....Okay. So there is... But this is SHOES! Surely God doesn't apply that to shoes? Yes, after I actually opened the boxes, I immediately ruled out 4 pairs. But, I needed those options. My choices as a BFW are limited.

Confession: I have ginormous feet. Yep, I'm a BFW, a big-footed-woman. We won't even get into the nicknames my brother gave me regarding my feet as a child....And that was 2 sizes ago! It's hard to find my size period, much less on clearance, but I had found 6 pair!!!! SIX!!! And after I handed some of my burden off, I found one more pair. In fact the very pair you see above! Too cute! Too cheap! Gotta love them!

Alas, while the 1st pair were cute and cheap and I had to have them, they are high heels. They are not the most practical, and I happen to have not one single pair of brown shoes to wear with, well, anything! Unless, one includes flip-flops, which do not count, well, because....Now, I stand firm on this....FLIP FLOPS ARE NOT SHOES!!! But, that is a rant for another day. Or unless you count my snow boots...which are technically tan. And my deck shoes...which are not so relevant in real life as they were in theory....So, I have no brown shoes....I'm sticking to that story. Don't argue with me!!! This is my blog, therefore, it's my reality, and I don't need you nay-saying me! If you can't blindly agree with me that every girl always needs new shoes, you have no place in my blogosphere, so just move on out sister!!!!

Is she gone?

Good....

SO....I didn't have any brown shoes......

That is, until I found this second pair. Sadly, I had to pay $26.39. But, they started out at $45! So, still, a great deal! And, they are comfy! Once again....I had to have them!! Oh, happy day!

Don't hate me because I have cheap shoes......