Paulette's Pole Dancing, Pawn Shop, and Pit Barbecue

Okay, so many of you remember that my darling Studmuffin signed me up for facebook. Many of you who know my real identity may have noticed that I'm not over there much... It's not all about me, so why bother? However, I have sent several messages to people who "friend" me, because I want to know what they're up to that doesn't involve a random, if funny statement on their wall. No. I would much rather read random, funny statements of people I do not know at all. I'm just bloggy that way...

Anyway, to make a painfully long story even longer, my friend from high school friended me. Now, this friend reminded me we hadn't seen each other since 1997. Ouch. That seems like a really long time ago. I promptly sent her a message with a brief update of all my goings on and every minute detail of my life...Because she needs to know that, right? Oh! And of course I sent her a link to my blog. I know, brave of me right? Because truly, how many of us who moved away after graduating from small towns would like all of our former classmates to realize, that yes, indeed, I am just as strange as I was then...Actually, I'm not sure my classmates realized the full extent of my oddities. I was much more self conscious then, and I tried to tamp down my urges to burst into song and dance at random moments...So anyway, it takes courage for me to admit to people that I have a blog for fear they will immediately realize that I am strange...

Not to mention the whole cricket chirping, moment of awkward silence that follows the statement, "my blog." Am I the only one who has experienced, or who fears that exact occurrence?

But returning to Paulette. She friended me on facebook. We messaged back and forth. She made me laugh. Out loud. Just like always. When I would think back on Paulette in high school, I would be chagrined to remember my laughter at her expense. Nobody wants to remember being the mean girl in school. (Confession: I think I was part of the mean girl group in 6th grade. Yes, it shames me to admit it, but I'm pretty sure that would be the crowd I fell into. Of course, I was in the same crowd throughout school. That's how it is in small towns. Fortunately, I think we grew out of the mean girlness quickly.) Anyway, I remember laughing at Paulette. A lot. She was always so crazy. You never knew what she was going to say or do next. But, inevitably, she was bound to fall. And not gracefully... Arms flying, feet flailing. She would fall. And she would laugh at herself, and of course, I would laugh. Because, really. Nothing is funnier than a good fall, right? Then, she would tell everyone about her fall, and it would be even funnier than when it actually happened...

Guess what? She told me a hilarious story. Turns out this chick has become a stand up comic, so her story telling at her expense was only practice for her hobby (outside of her real job that I don't understand and pursuit of a PhD.) I asked if I could copy it and plagiarize it as my own for my blog. Because I'm shameless that way, and I was at least halfway kidding.

Sort of.

Anyway, next thing I know, she has created a blog!

Big fat copy cat...

And, then she has the sheer nerve to tell me, that yes, I can copy her story, as long as I link it back to her blog.

WHAT?!!!

Does she not realize that I need readers? Does she not realize that I need people to think I'm hilariously clever and funny? Does she not realize that this is all about me?

Nonetheless, I looked at her blog.

And she is hilarious.

And shocking.

And, truly, you do not want to read her most recent post with your kids nearby. Remember, this warning is coming from the same gal who told you about not only how I have a scar in my belly button, but also how I came to be driving a tractor in my panties...So, really, when I mean shameless, the girl is shameless!

But still, you will want to read it.

Because you will laugh. OUT LOUD.

And your kids will want to know what you are laughing at, and you will have to be vague, and try to blow them off, because I am under the conviction that if it isn't appropriate for my kids, it's probably not appropriate for me...

But believe me...

You have got to read Paulette's blog.

Trust me.

Just do it....

WARNING: For those of you who have borne children, you may want to make a quick bathroom break. Because, seriously, you might just wet your pants.

So, without further ado, I present to you my long, lost friend Paulette. Go. Enjoy. Laugh.

P.S. I wanted to scan (read here take a picture of a picture) of the two of us to upload here. The only ones I could find were dark and too far away. Never fear, if I find one, I will share it with you.