Today I actually had a sit down lunch. It was during a meeting at about 11am. But I actually chewed my food and ate the entire thing in more than five minutes.
So that was fun.
I left work around 5pm, starving to death and tried to wrack my brain for what to cook for supper. I also was in the mood to watch a movie. But I didn't know which one. I stopped by Red Box and stood in the blazing sun for about 2.3 minutes before I decided it was too hot to rent a movie. And I was too hungry. And tired. I just came on home to find Studmuffin napping/watching Iron Man 2. I collapsed onto the love seat and stared into space for a few minutes before he offered to take me out to dinner.
Quicker than you could say "Polly wolly doodle all the day" I had stripped out of my scrubs and tossed on a cute little number I got at Ross for twelve bucks. The thing about this cute little number is it's rather, errr...LITTLE. When I bought it, the hem was at the middle of my knees. It is 100% cotton, with smocking along the neck line and flirty little sleeves. It is flowing and cool and comfy...And after the first wash, it shrunk to about two inches above my knees. That was a little disconcerting, but I still felt safe wearing it basically anywhere, granted there wasn't a strong Oklahoma wind blowing. The next time I washed it, the darn thing shrunk even more! It now reaches about mid thigh, which on some people may not seem that short, but I happen to have a 34 inch inseam on a 5'8 frame, so skirts are always shorter with that much leg showing. Anyhoo, my point to all of this is, that the kids are gone, and my husband offered to take me to dinner, so I was pretty sure he deserved rewarded with a little extra leg showing.
So that was fun.
As we were pulling into town, my sister in law called, saying that she was in town too, and was wondering if she could swing by our house to pick something up before she headed back home to her part of the state. We happily informed her that we were in town, about to pull into Interurban for dinner. They had planned on eating at Chili's, which is just up the road. They happily decided to bring their little party of seven to join our party of two.
So that was fun.
We had much laughter and chatting and I talked entirely too much and over shared and had a delicious sandwich, and steamed vegetables with my entree along with most of my nephew's vegetables, and even a few of my sister in laws.
So that was fun.
As we all started to head to our respective cars, my precious little niece Josie ran up to give me a hug. How sweet! If you ever met Josie, she would do her level best to have you wrapped around her cute little finger within minutes. She has long blonde hair, big blue eyes, and she smiles sweetly the entire time she is talking to you. Cute, cute, cute. She is going to run some man ragged some day.... So, this blonde haired blue eyed little bundle of cuteness ran up to give me a hug....However, as she jumped up on me, and wrapped her arms around me simultaneously she happened to catch the hem of my dress. Whoops! I quickly snatched it and tugged it back into place. Yoiks. I told her "This is why I would never have worn this dress when my kids were littler." And I chuckled and continued to pass around my hugs.
So that was fun.
After we spread our hugs around, and were walking to our car I asked Studmuffin if he noticed Josie pull my skirt up. "Yes, and so did that entire party leaving the restaurant behind us."
"What? No!!!!"
"OH yes!"
"Ohmigosh...You are supposed to lie about stuff like that so I don't have to be embarrassed."
He smiled wolfishly and said, "Okay. They didn't see anything."
I smiled shakily and gave a little sigh of relief...Not sure which statement was a lie. I made the mental decision to believe he had just seen a little extra thigh and move on with my life. Happy in my delusions.
Until he said, "But it was in a cute way. You had everything flexed because you were bending down to hug Josie. And I like those lacy panties."
And my first mental image was of dimpled thighs (oh, and crapola, derriere too)...With muscle flexed underneath. So, now it is tightly grouped cellulite. Wrapped in lace. I am not at all sure I'm seeing the cute factor in this. Blehhhhh.
So that was fun.
Oh, and just in case you were keeping track, I am apparently not able to go eat at a restaurant without suffering some form of embarrassment. If you would like a refresher, check out these links.
Performing the heimlech in a busy Mexican Restaurant.
Cleaning the Bathroom at IHOP.
Ripping my pants at Red Robin.
Call me crazy, but I kind of think I will stick to carry out in the near future...
And call me doubly crazy, but I'm about to hit the "Publish Post" button. But I'm refraining from linking it to facebook. I do have some restraint. Just not much!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Pictures Mostly Unrelated to Posting.
I cried during worship service today. I couldn't even say what I was crying about. I just felt God's presence so strongly that I wept. We were singing a silly VBS song, and two little kids went up on stage when the music minister saw them doing the choreography. That was it. I couldn't even mouth the words when they started motioning to "Baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost."
Do you ever have moments like that? As I was weeping, I was trying to figure out what the deal was. I'm not sure if it has to do with my study of Daniel this week. I had been steadily reading a chapter a day until I got to chapter nine. I got bogged down in all of those weeks and sevens and my mind was toast. I dug up an old study guide from a Beth Moore study I did on Daniel five years ago, and skipped to the week focused on chapter nine. The first several days were focused on Daniel's prayer. Therefore I've been really focused on prayer and my prayer life.
Daniel understood scripture and understood that it was relevant to his life. He understood that his prayers were important. He knew that God was listening. So I've been asking myself: Do I really truly believe that my prayers are meaningful? Do I truly embrace that God is answering my prayer before I've barely begun? Do I, do I, do I...
So that's really got me thinking.
This week I officially change to my new schedule. I will be working Monday through Wednesday from now on. I am pretty excited to have the extra time home with the kids, but I'm also silently stressed about the decrease in pay. When I made the decision I knew that I knew that I knew that God was calling me to be more committed to my kids and less committed to my job. So I took the leap. And now I'm looking at the ground and it seems very far away. I am wearing shoulders for earrings as I type about this change. It's one of those things where it will be a good change for the family, but it is a scary change too.
I could also have been crying because my kids are both leaving for kids camp tomorrow morning. They will be back Thursday night.
My oldest was invited to her best friend's dance recital followed by a sleepover last night. I really wanted to say "no" because she will be gone four days after tonight. However, her friend has been talking about this dance recital since she stayed with us over Christmas, and Bookworm said, "Britni will be heart broken if I don't go to her recital." So she went.
Popcorn was pretty bummed. She is very dependent on her sister. Bookworm has a little celebration when her sister is gone, and goes in her room and arranges all of her stuff exactly as she wants, and lays around reading books and just generally enjoys being alone. Popcorn mopes around and scuffs her feet a lot and heaves huge sighs the entire time her sister is gone.
We decided to spoil her. We feasted on Frito chili pie and ice cream for supper. Studmuffin had her mow with the riding lawn mower. That was pretty big stuff, but I was mowing with the push mower, so again I failed to take pictures. After we finished mowing it was such a beautiful evening that we decided to light a fire and roast marshmallows.
It was a great evening.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Don't Feel Like Cooking? Here's an App for That.
So we're heading into summer, and who wants to cook? Not me!
I want to wake up early and wander aimlessly around my yard, pulling weeds here and there but never really getting completely ahead of them. I want to run my hands over my tomato plants and enjoy how fabulous they smell. I want to sit on my back porch and watch the sun come up (coffee firmly in hand, of course) as my cat sits at my feet and meows like he hasn't been fed in days, when in fact he probably needs to skip a few meals. I want to set out the sprinkler before the sun has made it's full appearance and listen to it spray on the flower beds.
At lunch I want to eat some cottage cheese and fresh fruit, and probably some chips and salsa. Both in the same setting. Because that is summer food. Add a tall glass of cold milk to that, and I'm in paradise.
I want to lie on a float in the pool and read a book!
I want to come inside late in the afternoon and lay down on the couch and take a nap with the fan blowing on me so hard that I am tempted to cover up...But then I will never wake back up, so I will do my best to refrain from that.
I want to sit by the fire pit when the evening has cooled and roast marshmallows and slap at mosquitoes while I laugh at my kids playing kick ball with the dog.
Sure, I want to eat brownies. But I don't want to actually bake them.
If you are anything like me, and would like to live in a lazy summer fantasy land, where the house is self cleaning and the yard is always watered, mowed, and weeded then I have the perfect easy summer recipe for you. And most of the ingredients will come right from your very own garden!
Side Note:
When you light your grill on a Saturday evening, do you throw everything out of your freezer on it that you can think of? I do. This time we grilled hamburger, hot dogs and chicken. Sadly, we were out of steak. And there is never any shrimp to be found in this house, but I was wishing I had some when we grilled last weekend. Grilling extra meat was perfect for us as we had softball three nights this week and a VBS family night another night. We feasted on quesadillas, leftover hamburgers, hot dogs made into chili dogs, and finally this little beauty that I'm about to share with you. Oh, and don't forget that this also helped us have lunches throughout the week.
Summer Crock Pot Extravaganza
-I just made the name up right this minute. Because every recipe needs a name, right?
Bell Pepper
Onion
Squash
Tomato
Garlic (minced)
Smoked Sausage
Grilled Chicken
Anything you have in your fridge that strikes your fancy.
Slice/dice all of the ingredients up. You will want to leave your squash in thick circles so it doesn't become too slimy. I still cut these up a little too small, but they were yummy nonetheless.
Throw the whole shebang in your crock pot. Turn that baby on high if you need it in a hurry (like 2 hours) or low if you are letting it cook longer. The thing is, you just need to cook it until all of the vegetables are tender. Then it's done! You made an entire meal for your family in the crock pot! No messy clean up. Just pull out the liner and give the pot a quick wash off and your done.
Of course I did not take any pictures of the result. I'm not that good at remembering that I need to record every detail of my life in pictures so that I can share it with you. And I had decided to go on a coupon shopping trip that morning, so by the time I got home I was starving, the table was set with everyone sitting at it when I walked in. Apparently smelling this lovely concoction cook all morning had their appetites raging also. I had added the single chicken breast as my kids are not fans of smoked sausage. However, Popcorn decided today that she does indeed love sausage. Not the vegetables, mind you. But she did like the sausage! Next time I will have to make more so we can actually have some left over for lunches.
What is your go to quick summer recipe?
I want to wake up early and wander aimlessly around my yard, pulling weeds here and there but never really getting completely ahead of them. I want to run my hands over my tomato plants and enjoy how fabulous they smell. I want to sit on my back porch and watch the sun come up (coffee firmly in hand, of course) as my cat sits at my feet and meows like he hasn't been fed in days, when in fact he probably needs to skip a few meals. I want to set out the sprinkler before the sun has made it's full appearance and listen to it spray on the flower beds.
At lunch I want to eat some cottage cheese and fresh fruit, and probably some chips and salsa. Both in the same setting. Because that is summer food. Add a tall glass of cold milk to that, and I'm in paradise.
I want to lie on a float in the pool and read a book!
I want to come inside late in the afternoon and lay down on the couch and take a nap with the fan blowing on me so hard that I am tempted to cover up...But then I will never wake back up, so I will do my best to refrain from that.
I want to sit by the fire pit when the evening has cooled and roast marshmallows and slap at mosquitoes while I laugh at my kids playing kick ball with the dog.
Sure, I want to eat brownies. But I don't want to actually bake them.
If you are anything like me, and would like to live in a lazy summer fantasy land, where the house is self cleaning and the yard is always watered, mowed, and weeded then I have the perfect easy summer recipe for you. And most of the ingredients will come right from your very own garden!
Side Note:
When you light your grill on a Saturday evening, do you throw everything out of your freezer on it that you can think of? I do. This time we grilled hamburger, hot dogs and chicken. Sadly, we were out of steak. And there is never any shrimp to be found in this house, but I was wishing I had some when we grilled last weekend. Grilling extra meat was perfect for us as we had softball three nights this week and a VBS family night another night. We feasted on quesadillas, leftover hamburgers, hot dogs made into chili dogs, and finally this little beauty that I'm about to share with you. Oh, and don't forget that this also helped us have lunches throughout the week.
Summer Crock Pot Extravaganza
-I just made the name up right this minute. Because every recipe needs a name, right?
Bell Pepper
Onion
Squash
Tomato
Garlic (minced)
Smoked Sausage
Grilled Chicken
Anything you have in your fridge that strikes your fancy.
Slice/dice all of the ingredients up. You will want to leave your squash in thick circles so it doesn't become too slimy. I still cut these up a little too small, but they were yummy nonetheless.
Throw the whole shebang in your crock pot. Turn that baby on high if you need it in a hurry (like 2 hours) or low if you are letting it cook longer. The thing is, you just need to cook it until all of the vegetables are tender. Then it's done! You made an entire meal for your family in the crock pot! No messy clean up. Just pull out the liner and give the pot a quick wash off and your done.
Of course I did not take any pictures of the result. I'm not that good at remembering that I need to record every detail of my life in pictures so that I can share it with you. And I had decided to go on a coupon shopping trip that morning, so by the time I got home I was starving, the table was set with everyone sitting at it when I walked in. Apparently smelling this lovely concoction cook all morning had their appetites raging also. I had added the single chicken breast as my kids are not fans of smoked sausage. However, Popcorn decided today that she does indeed love sausage. Not the vegetables, mind you. But she did like the sausage! Next time I will have to make more so we can actually have some left over for lunches.
What is your go to quick summer recipe?
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Compassionate? Yeah. Umm. Sure.
We have a hectic day tomorrow. Since we knew our day was going to be nigh impossible tomorrow we decided to do a few cases late in the day today so we wouldn't be even crazier tomorrow.
Good planning, no?
Tom is the 6:30 am nurse. We were at our lockers changing into our "going home" shoes. Tom was digging through his disaster of a locker, because Tom is a nonrecovering hoarder. I'm grabbing my purse, emptying my pockets, and shoving a piece of Dove Special Dark Chocolate in my mouth. The following conversation went down.
Oh, by the way, our lockers are in a shared area with a men's and women's restroom on either side. Just thought you might need clarification on why I'm in a locker room with a male coworker. You should also know that Tom is infallibly polite. Our elderly patients love him because he begins every statement with "Pardon me," or "excuse me for a minute." Seriously. If you are talking to him, nearly every statement he begins starts with those two phrases. As you will see, I suffer from no such compunctions.
Moving on.
Tom: Well, Andi as of right now, I will be in tomorrow, but my ear is bothering me, and it's infected. I'm going to go home and take some medicine...(dang nurses and their self diagnosing, I don't need no stinkin' doctor attitudes)
Andi: Tom. How do you know your ear is infected?
Tom: Well, it hurts, and I feel pressure when I put my finger...
Sadly, I didn't let him finish his sentence as I know that a symptom of an ear infection is pain with manipulation of the ear.
Andi: You need to go home and take 1200mg Mucinex and some pseudoephedrine, and drink plenty of water. It's probably just congestion. You don't have an infection. (Translation: he is on call, and he better not be sick or I will have to pick it up for him.)
Tom: Well, I...(he begins to gesture towards his nose.)
Andi: Tom. Don't do your nasal rinse when you have fluid on your ears. That's bad. Take the Mucinex and Sudafed. You will be fine.
Tom: Well....Pardon me. I was going to say Afrin.
Andi: Oh. Okay. You can take Afrin. But you better take the other too. Mucinex. 1200 mg BID (twice a day to civilians). Sudafed. 30mg every four hours. You will go like this, (and I jerked my body around in a convulsive manner and made my eyes all googly) but you will be at work.
At this point my supervisor chimed in.
Julie: You will be at work on time, or possibly 3:30 am, because you won't be able to sleep taking all of the medicine Andi said to take. But she won't care, because you'll be here and yelling: Hurry up! Let's go! Get these people on the table!
Andi: That's right. And that's the most important thing. That you will be here. Tomorrow. At 6:30am.
And I slammed my locker door shut and headed to the exit...See you tomorrow Tom! Hope you feel better!
Do you think I meant that for purely selfish reasons?
Good planning, no?
Tom is the 6:30 am nurse. We were at our lockers changing into our "going home" shoes. Tom was digging through his disaster of a locker, because Tom is a nonrecovering hoarder. I'm grabbing my purse, emptying my pockets, and shoving a piece of Dove Special Dark Chocolate in my mouth. The following conversation went down.
Oh, by the way, our lockers are in a shared area with a men's and women's restroom on either side. Just thought you might need clarification on why I'm in a locker room with a male coworker. You should also know that Tom is infallibly polite. Our elderly patients love him because he begins every statement with "Pardon me," or "excuse me for a minute." Seriously. If you are talking to him, nearly every statement he begins starts with those two phrases. As you will see, I suffer from no such compunctions.
Moving on.
Tom: Well, Andi as of right now, I will be in tomorrow, but my ear is bothering me, and it's infected. I'm going to go home and take some medicine...(dang nurses and their self diagnosing, I don't need no stinkin' doctor attitudes)
Andi: Tom. How do you know your ear is infected?
Tom: Well, it hurts, and I feel pressure when I put my finger...
Sadly, I didn't let him finish his sentence as I know that a symptom of an ear infection is pain with manipulation of the ear.
Andi: You need to go home and take 1200mg Mucinex and some pseudoephedrine, and drink plenty of water. It's probably just congestion. You don't have an infection. (Translation: he is on call, and he better not be sick or I will have to pick it up for him.)
Tom: Well, I...(he begins to gesture towards his nose.)
Andi: Tom. Don't do your nasal rinse when you have fluid on your ears. That's bad. Take the Mucinex and Sudafed. You will be fine.
Tom: Well....Pardon me. I was going to say Afrin.
Andi: Oh. Okay. You can take Afrin. But you better take the other too. Mucinex. 1200 mg BID (twice a day to civilians). Sudafed. 30mg every four hours. You will go like this, (and I jerked my body around in a convulsive manner and made my eyes all googly) but you will be at work.
At this point my supervisor chimed in.
Julie: You will be at work on time, or possibly 3:30 am, because you won't be able to sleep taking all of the medicine Andi said to take. But she won't care, because you'll be here and yelling: Hurry up! Let's go! Get these people on the table!
Andi: That's right. And that's the most important thing. That you will be here. Tomorrow. At 6:30am.
And I slammed my locker door shut and headed to the exit...See you tomorrow Tom! Hope you feel better!
Do you think I meant that for purely selfish reasons?
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Early Bird Gets the Worm
I am an early riser. I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, but once I'm up and about, I love mornings. I'm always happiest if I am the only one awake for a while...
My youngest is an early riser too. I used to struggle with resentment about this. After all, my early mornings were MY time. She has driven me to get up before 6am for sure if I want to have a few minutes of total alone time before she joins me. Now I love the few moments we have alone. She sits and eats breakfast and gazes around. Much like her mother. We have deep conversations about all sorts of nonsense that really isn't deep at all.
My oldest child considers herself a late riser. After all, she will sleep all the way until 8am at times! Shocking, I know. I like that she wakes a few minutes after her sister, as it gives me a few minutes with just her. She is always full of information. Recently it's been conversations about the book she's reading called Hunter Brown and the Secret of the Shadow. Her Aunt Paula loaned it to her, and she is loving it.
I love to get my kids up, dressed and fed early. Especially in summer. I find that if I can feed them breakfast on the back porch, they will end up staying outside until close to noon. Even on hot days. They gradually acclimate as the temperature climbs, whereas if I wait until even as early as 8:30, they think it's too hot to go play outside.
I am dreading the rejection of toys. In the early morning they often take their fairy dolls and play with them in the old garden and have an enchanted fairy forest in the overgrown weeds/carrots/volunteer squash plants. I wish I could plant a microphone on them so I could know what they are saying. Their childhood is slipping away right before my eyes, and while I love each phase they enter, I will be most sad when they move past the innocence of fairies in the garden.
See the little boy in the picture below? That is our little neighbor boy. He is over every time he sees the girls outside. He is four and drives them a little crazy. However, they are always nice to him and act very interested in everything he has to say. I think it's really sweet to watch them with him. I hope it's a glimpse of how they are with the "other" kids at school.
April over at Coal Creek Farm is having a month of no TV. It's a tradition they begin every June. I'm tossing around the idea of adding it to our July plans. Other than that, I really have no summer plans.
Just lots of swimming, grilling, and yard work. Until it's too hot for yard work. Then I will be bemoaning yard work. I plan to laze around the house. Make several visits to my Grandma. Y'know. Just normal summer stuff.
What about you? Do you have any big plans for summer? Maybe your plans are like mine, to just enjoy it as it zooms by. Please share!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The Pretty Ferny Weeds in My Garden.
Attention: Avid and knowledgeable gardeners need not read this post. Please move on to your next regularly scheduled blog. I do not need the admonishments nor corrections. Thank you.
Are they all gone?
Good. Here goes:
Saturday morning I woke at 5am to the sound of my phone alarm.
Fun Fact: I have my phone set to wake me at 5 and 5:30. In addition to this, my alarm clock is set to go off at 5:01 am. I have been having issues with turning off alarms and falling back asleep...
I did not fall back asleep that morning.
Instead I rolled out of bed and went to soak in a hot tub with a trashy romance...
Is that TMI? I fear it is.
Moving on.
I drug on a practically new pair of hand me down gym shorts from Aunt Aleta, complete with Sooners across my bottom (again, probably TMI) and a newish red tank top. I bought it the summer we moved here, which was only in 2008, so that's practically spanking new in my closet...
Anyway, I went out on the porch and read the eighth chapter of Daniel (y'know, after the trashy romance, I figured I was due for some prophecy), and drank coffee. Four cups to be exact. It's mornings like that when I question my Keurig, and think perhaps I should have just brewed a whole pot...
I noticed some weird brown lumps out among the cattle, and went to the fence to see what they were.
The Geese were out sleeping in the middle of the herd! I guess there is safety with a herd of cattle in an open field from those wily coyotes...Heh heh. Wily coyotes. Get it? Wile E Coyote?
Never mind.
Anyway, I grabbed my camera to take a photo for you, my Gentle Readers, and looked down and saw the most lovely thing in my former garden. Y'know. It's former because now I am the proud owner of a RAISED garden, and the waste land that is my FORMER garden will one day be a lovely Victorian garden complete with alternating straw, brick and stone paths...the details on it are still sketchy. Trust me, I'll keep you posted.
Return to topic: I'm taking pictures of geese that are too far away for you to discern what they are, and as I reach down to scratch a mosquito bite (I regret to admit I'm covered in bites. I can't seem to remember bug spray on my early morning strolls through the yard. Apparently I haven't embraced the fear of West Nile) I see this:
I have been eyeing these lovely ferny weed things for a while in my garden, excuse me FORMER garden. When I stood right over it and admired it's beautiful small white blooms, I decided that it was time for action.
I happened to have three pots with nothing in them. I had filled my other pots with flowers dug up from random places that flowers don't belong. Like under the pool filter. Or in the middle of the yard. Or, here's an amazing survival story: Zinnias pulled out of the cracks in my driveway!
I decided that there were enough of these pretty ferny weeds with the lovely small baby's breathish flowers to dig them up and put them in my empty pots! Especially the two planters on the pool deck! I always neglect those pots, and so everything I buy to put in them dies. Digging weeds up and planting them on my deck is nothing but sheer genius, Gentle Reader.
So, I went to fetch the shovel, and began to dig. Guess what? We have not been watering our former garden. We have been trying to create a wasteland/dumping grounds for all unfinished yard projects out of it. And being pretty successful at it if I do say so myself! So the ground was hard. I stopped and took stock. In another spot, the ground was surely softer. So I moved on...Of course 2 feet over it was just as hard, but not as grassy, so I managed to get my shovel in easier. As I was digging I noted they had a tap root.
"Of course it has a tap root! I hate weeds with tap roots. If you don't get the whole dad gum thing, it just comes right back. And the top half of this will probably die. Dang tap roots..."
And my self dialogue continued until I suddenly had it free! Yay me!
Guess what kind of tap root this lovely ferny weed with white baby's breath appearing flowers was?
A CARROT!!!
Yes, Gentle Reader, a carrot. You see, last year I planted carrots. However, I did not pick some of them in time, and they went to seed...
The really amusing part, is I dealt with the pesky things all last summer, all OVER my garden, but never registered what the darn plethora of ferny weeds were everywhere. I just ruthlessly yanked. Of course I did not need thirty dozen carrots growing in the middle of my tomatoes, so there ya go.
By the way, I have completely forsaken raising carrots. Sure, they look gorgeous when those lovely little greens sprout through the ground. And the carrots are a beautiful photo op with the foliage on it. BUT THEY JUST DON'T TASTE SWEET! Why is that? I blame my soil. I have resigned myself to buying carrots for 99 cents at my local store and peeling and slicing them. They actually get eaten that way.
Anyhoo,
So. We will see what we will see. But for a few days anyway, they sure look purdy!
Oh, and as I'm posting this I googled blooming carrots, and discovered through some weird bunny chasing that carrots that are allowed to bloom will cross pollinate with Queen Anne's Lace (which is abundant around here) and this will make small, thin roots which explains why the carrots I dug up were puny compared to last year. I also learned that both of these can be easily confused with poison hemlock. YOIKS!! The moral of the story? Don't eat something unless you know that you know that it's a carrot...
Attention: The above photo has nothing to do with this post. But Studmuffin made this tool box in college. And I secretly turned it into a planter for my front porch. Thankfully, he liked it.
What repurposing have you managed lately?
P.S. They all died. Oh, I am laughing. All that excitement and they all died. Typical.
Are they all gone?
Good. Here goes:
Saturday morning I woke at 5am to the sound of my phone alarm.
Fun Fact: I have my phone set to wake me at 5 and 5:30. In addition to this, my alarm clock is set to go off at 5:01 am. I have been having issues with turning off alarms and falling back asleep...
I did not fall back asleep that morning.
Instead I rolled out of bed and went to soak in a hot tub with a trashy romance...
Is that TMI? I fear it is.
Moving on.
I drug on a practically new pair of hand me down gym shorts from Aunt Aleta, complete with Sooners across my bottom (again, probably TMI) and a newish red tank top. I bought it the summer we moved here, which was only in 2008, so that's practically spanking new in my closet...
Anyway, I went out on the porch and read the eighth chapter of Daniel (y'know, after the trashy romance, I figured I was due for some prophecy), and drank coffee. Four cups to be exact. It's mornings like that when I question my Keurig, and think perhaps I should have just brewed a whole pot...
I noticed some weird brown lumps out among the cattle, and went to the fence to see what they were.
The Geese were out sleeping in the middle of the herd! I guess there is safety with a herd of cattle in an open field from those wily coyotes...Heh heh. Wily coyotes. Get it? Wile E Coyote?
Anyway, I grabbed my camera to take a photo for you, my Gentle Readers, and looked down and saw the most lovely thing in my former garden. Y'know. It's former because now I am the proud owner of a RAISED garden, and the waste land that is my FORMER garden will one day be a lovely Victorian garden complete with alternating straw, brick and stone paths...the details on it are still sketchy. Trust me, I'll keep you posted.
Return to topic: I'm taking pictures of geese that are too far away for you to discern what they are, and as I reach down to scratch a mosquito bite (I regret to admit I'm covered in bites. I can't seem to remember bug spray on my early morning strolls through the yard. Apparently I haven't embraced the fear of West Nile) I see this:
I have been eyeing these lovely ferny weed things for a while in my garden, excuse me FORMER garden. When I stood right over it and admired it's beautiful small white blooms, I decided that it was time for action.
I happened to have three pots with nothing in them. I had filled my other pots with flowers dug up from random places that flowers don't belong. Like under the pool filter. Or in the middle of the yard. Or, here's an amazing survival story: Zinnias pulled out of the cracks in my driveway!
I decided that there were enough of these pretty ferny weeds with the lovely small baby's breathish flowers to dig them up and put them in my empty pots! Especially the two planters on the pool deck! I always neglect those pots, and so everything I buy to put in them dies. Digging weeds up and planting them on my deck is nothing but sheer genius, Gentle Reader.
So, I went to fetch the shovel, and began to dig. Guess what? We have not been watering our former garden. We have been trying to create a wasteland/dumping grounds for all unfinished yard projects out of it. And being pretty successful at it if I do say so myself! So the ground was hard. I stopped and took stock. In another spot, the ground was surely softer. So I moved on...Of course 2 feet over it was just as hard, but not as grassy, so I managed to get my shovel in easier. As I was digging I noted they had a tap root.
"Of course it has a tap root! I hate weeds with tap roots. If you don't get the whole dad gum thing, it just comes right back. And the top half of this will probably die. Dang tap roots..."
And my self dialogue continued until I suddenly had it free! Yay me!
Guess what kind of tap root this lovely ferny weed with white baby's breath appearing flowers was?
A CARROT!!!
Yes, Gentle Reader, a carrot. You see, last year I planted carrots. However, I did not pick some of them in time, and they went to seed...
The really amusing part, is I dealt with the pesky things all last summer, all OVER my garden, but never registered what the darn plethora of ferny weeds were everywhere. I just ruthlessly yanked. Of course I did not need thirty dozen carrots growing in the middle of my tomatoes, so there ya go.
By the way, I have completely forsaken raising carrots. Sure, they look gorgeous when those lovely little greens sprout through the ground. And the carrots are a beautiful photo op with the foliage on it. BUT THEY JUST DON'T TASTE SWEET! Why is that? I blame my soil. I have resigned myself to buying carrots for 99 cents at my local store and peeling and slicing them. They actually get eaten that way.
Anyhoo,
So. We will see what we will see. But for a few days anyway, they sure look purdy!
Oh, and as I'm posting this I googled blooming carrots, and discovered through some weird bunny chasing that carrots that are allowed to bloom will cross pollinate with Queen Anne's Lace (which is abundant around here) and this will make small, thin roots which explains why the carrots I dug up were puny compared to last year. I also learned that both of these can be easily confused with poison hemlock. YOIKS!! The moral of the story? Don't eat something unless you know that you know that it's a carrot...
Attention: The above photo has nothing to do with this post. But Studmuffin made this tool box in college. And I secretly turned it into a planter for my front porch. Thankfully, he liked it.
What repurposing have you managed lately?
P.S. They all died. Oh, I am laughing. All that excitement and they all died. Typical.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
How to Get Free Lunch. Or, How to Endure Public Embarrassment.
1. Go to Red Robin, eager for a burger and bottomless fries.
2. Switch seats with your daughter midway through the meal.
3. Tear your black leggings on a piece of metal sticking out from a drop down table.
4. Inform your waitress of the problem, so she can remove/repair the table.
5. Blush furiously as the manager rushes over and asks what he can do to help, and try to deflect him to just "taking care of the table," and plan to go to Target to replace the torn leggings.
6. Be pleasantly surprised to learn that the manager took $13.48 off of your tab. You will perhaps experience some curiosity about this amount, as it is not the cost of your meal.
7. Lengthen your purse strap REALLY far. Glowing white skin shows ridiculously well through a three inch tear in black leggings.
8. Stand and strategically position the purse over the hole and keep it firmly in place as you skulk back to the car. Surely no one will notice your stiff legged, purse clamped to thigh walk.
9. Try to badger your husband into going in, buying leggings for you, and then plan to stealthily change in the car.
10. After your knight in shining armor informs you his armor isn't particularly shiny that day resign yourself to maintaining the purse charade as you go into Target.
11. Surprisingly notice that the leggings are on clearance for $13.48. iPhones are amazing, no?
12. Be sad that they do not have the right color (olive green and an unfortunate shade of brown will not work for your tunic).
13. Keep your purse firmly in place as you buy a July 4th tank, a lovely cranberry red oxford shirt, and two pairs of flip flops...for yourself. Oh, and a dress that is just too cute, and you will perhaps buy it on impulse without trying it on, as there is a line about 15 people long for the dressing room, and surely it will fit, it's the size you always buy!
14. Spend an exorbitant amount of money and scold yourself for ever entering Target.
15. Go to the car and pull off your tunic shirt (camisole underneath, of course) and pull the adorable new dress over your head.
16. Realize the zipper must be stuck, as you can't seem to zip it.
17. Employ your daughter's help.
18. Sigh in frustration that the material is OBVIOUSLY bunched since she is also unable to zip it.
19. Ask your handsome strong husband to help you. (Even if his armor is tarnished, surely he can handle a mere zipper!)
20. Suffer your second episode of humiliation in one day as you realize that you are "too muscular" to zip the dress around your ribs. (Really, did he think "muscular" would make you feel better?)
21. Yank off the dress.
22. Drag your tunic back over your head and silently curse your curly frizzy hair, which is surely to blame for this whole debacle.
23. Walk right back into Target, dress and receipt firmly in your left hand, and purse clutched to your right leg...
24. Return the dress, walk out with cash.
25. You may hear your husband say, "Babe, you look disappointed" .
26. Smile and say "I'm fine." (Because you are clearly NOT having any body image issues today. Certainly the dress was made freakishly small. Clearly.)
27. Continue your purse clutched tightly to your thigh stiff legged walk through Academy as your daughter hunts for the perfect flip flops (which could NOT be found in Target.) By the way, she had broken her one pair earlier that day.
28. Joyfully pay $5.60 after taxes for the exact size, color and style of flip flop as the aforementioned broken one from this morning.
29. Go home minus the few groceries you had originally planned to grab.
30. Dr. Pepper is surely not essential to life anyway.
31. I think.
2. Switch seats with your daughter midway through the meal.
3. Tear your black leggings on a piece of metal sticking out from a drop down table.
4. Inform your waitress of the problem, so she can remove/repair the table.
5. Blush furiously as the manager rushes over and asks what he can do to help, and try to deflect him to just "taking care of the table," and plan to go to Target to replace the torn leggings.
6. Be pleasantly surprised to learn that the manager took $13.48 off of your tab. You will perhaps experience some curiosity about this amount, as it is not the cost of your meal.
7. Lengthen your purse strap REALLY far. Glowing white skin shows ridiculously well through a three inch tear in black leggings.
8. Stand and strategically position the purse over the hole and keep it firmly in place as you skulk back to the car. Surely no one will notice your stiff legged, purse clamped to thigh walk.
9. Try to badger your husband into going in, buying leggings for you, and then plan to stealthily change in the car.
10. After your knight in shining armor informs you his armor isn't particularly shiny that day resign yourself to maintaining the purse charade as you go into Target.
11. Surprisingly notice that the leggings are on clearance for $13.48. iPhones are amazing, no?
12. Be sad that they do not have the right color (olive green and an unfortunate shade of brown will not work for your tunic).
13. Keep your purse firmly in place as you buy a July 4th tank, a lovely cranberry red oxford shirt, and two pairs of flip flops...for yourself. Oh, and a dress that is just too cute, and you will perhaps buy it on impulse without trying it on, as there is a line about 15 people long for the dressing room, and surely it will fit, it's the size you always buy!
14. Spend an exorbitant amount of money and scold yourself for ever entering Target.
15. Go to the car and pull off your tunic shirt (camisole underneath, of course) and pull the adorable new dress over your head.
16. Realize the zipper must be stuck, as you can't seem to zip it.
17. Employ your daughter's help.
18. Sigh in frustration that the material is OBVIOUSLY bunched since she is also unable to zip it.
19. Ask your handsome strong husband to help you. (Even if his armor is tarnished, surely he can handle a mere zipper!)
20. Suffer your second episode of humiliation in one day as you realize that you are "too muscular" to zip the dress around your ribs. (Really, did he think "muscular" would make you feel better?)
21. Yank off the dress.
22. Drag your tunic back over your head and silently curse your curly frizzy hair, which is surely to blame for this whole debacle.
23. Walk right back into Target, dress and receipt firmly in your left hand, and purse clutched to your right leg...
24. Return the dress, walk out with cash.
25. You may hear your husband say, "Babe, you look disappointed" .
26. Smile and say "I'm fine." (Because you are clearly NOT having any body image issues today. Certainly the dress was made freakishly small. Clearly.)
27. Continue your purse clutched tightly to your thigh stiff legged walk through Academy as your daughter hunts for the perfect flip flops (which could NOT be found in Target.) By the way, she had broken her one pair earlier that day.
28. Joyfully pay $5.60 after taxes for the exact size, color and style of flip flop as the aforementioned broken one from this morning.
29. Go home minus the few groceries you had originally planned to grab.
30. Dr. Pepper is surely not essential to life anyway.
31. I think.
Friday, June 3, 2011
The Laundry Saga and Vomitrocious
Remember our swimming adventure last Sunday? Well, one of my children decided to throw her wet pond clothes in with all of our dirty clothes while camping...in a plastic bag.
Luckily I had discovered the wet clothes before they were soaked into everything else, and laid them on the merry go round to dry....
The other child simply wore hers until they were dry. She said it felt better to be wet.
Fast forward to Monday morning. Studmuffin asked where I wanted the girls clothes. "I have theirs in a separate plastic bag. Put it in Mom's car since they are going home with her, and she may need extra clothes."
I finally got around to doing laundry Tuesday morning. And I discovered not only our laundry, but the separate bag of the girls clothes. I rolled my eyes and washed them with everything else, deciding Mom has a washing machine, so she could wash some if they needed...
As I was folding clothes, a curious thing occurred. There were no clothes for one of my children. Only one lone pair of socks. Matched, even! That is a small miracle around here...
I met my folks to get the girls Wednesday night. I voiced my thoughts on the lack of clothes for one child. Mom said, "Oh, I washed all of their clothes this morning, but Bookworm showed me some that hadn't made it to the dirty clothes. She put them in a plastic bag." What a mom! Still doing laundry for me 35 years later...
We had some drama with puking driving down the interstate, (let's just say that you should never leave home without a 44 ounce plastic up and a plastic bag to catch the overflow....I kid you not) and by the time we got home I had to drop off the girls and head straight to choir. I failed to unload their luggage from my car.
Wait!
I must stop and chase this bunny trail I started...We're driving down the road. My child yells, "I'm going to be sick." I grab the cup and thrust it at her...She pukes and pukes and pukes...I yell at her sister to "Unbuckle and find a plastic bag!" She finds one thrown in the very back. Just in the nick of time she clamors over the seat and gets it under her sister's face as the cup begins to overflow...
Did you realize there were no exits where we were? Call me crazy, but I just did not feel safe pulling over on the shoulder of the interstate with high winds whipping the trucks all over the road...
We rode with a cup and bag full of puke for several miles. The smell was quite enjoyable. I spied an exit with a Denny's sign...I pulled right off, circled around to the back of that lovely establishement, located the dumpsters, and dumped my cup of puke and bag of puke...
*gag*
I forced myself to take some wet wipes and clean the cup in case she felt the need to cast up her accounts again...
*gag*
Returning to topic:
Thursday I told the girls to unpack. I mentioned that I was thankful that their grandma washed all their laundry, so they just had to unpack...
Guess what? "Grandma didn't wash any of our clothes" said a certain child. Surprisingly enough, this was the very child who only had one lone pair of socks in the laundry I had washed. It turns out this child had thrown every piece of clothing she'd worn on the camping trip and at her grandparents back in her bag. So naturally it did not get washed. She carried her bag into her room, and was going to pull out "what is still clean."
OH THE AROMA!!!
That bag stunk to high heaven. I pulled everything out, threw it all in the wash and sprayed her luggage down with some lavender linen spray...
By the time this chore was completed, the guilty child was putting away the dishes. I went to give her a hug and tell her how glad I was to have her home with me today. "Even if you do bring home a stinky bag of clothes." She started to giggle.
And she giggled some more.
And some more. I decided I was suspicious of the amount of laughter my statement engendered...
Naturally I asked "What's so funny?"
"I tooted while you were hugging me" she shouted gleefully.
"You. Are. Disgusting."
And she about fell over laughing.
This is the life I'm living, Gentle Reader.
Clearly. Disgusting.
Luckily I had discovered the wet clothes before they were soaked into everything else, and laid them on the merry go round to dry....
The other child simply wore hers until they were dry. She said it felt better to be wet.
Fast forward to Monday morning. Studmuffin asked where I wanted the girls clothes. "I have theirs in a separate plastic bag. Put it in Mom's car since they are going home with her, and she may need extra clothes."
I finally got around to doing laundry Tuesday morning. And I discovered not only our laundry, but the separate bag of the girls clothes. I rolled my eyes and washed them with everything else, deciding Mom has a washing machine, so she could wash some if they needed...
As I was folding clothes, a curious thing occurred. There were no clothes for one of my children. Only one lone pair of socks. Matched, even! That is a small miracle around here...
I met my folks to get the girls Wednesday night. I voiced my thoughts on the lack of clothes for one child. Mom said, "Oh, I washed all of their clothes this morning, but Bookworm showed me some that hadn't made it to the dirty clothes. She put them in a plastic bag." What a mom! Still doing laundry for me 35 years later...
We had some drama with puking driving down the interstate, (let's just say that you should never leave home without a 44 ounce plastic up and a plastic bag to catch the overflow....I kid you not) and by the time we got home I had to drop off the girls and head straight to choir. I failed to unload their luggage from my car.
Wait!
I must stop and chase this bunny trail I started...We're driving down the road. My child yells, "I'm going to be sick." I grab the cup and thrust it at her...She pukes and pukes and pukes...I yell at her sister to "Unbuckle and find a plastic bag!" She finds one thrown in the very back. Just in the nick of time she clamors over the seat and gets it under her sister's face as the cup begins to overflow...
Did you realize there were no exits where we were? Call me crazy, but I just did not feel safe pulling over on the shoulder of the interstate with high winds whipping the trucks all over the road...
We rode with a cup and bag full of puke for several miles. The smell was quite enjoyable. I spied an exit with a Denny's sign...I pulled right off, circled around to the back of that lovely establishement, located the dumpsters, and dumped my cup of puke and bag of puke...
*gag*
I forced myself to take some wet wipes and clean the cup in case she felt the need to cast up her accounts again...
*gag*
Returning to topic:
Thursday I told the girls to unpack. I mentioned that I was thankful that their grandma washed all their laundry, so they just had to unpack...
Guess what? "Grandma didn't wash any of our clothes" said a certain child. Surprisingly enough, this was the very child who only had one lone pair of socks in the laundry I had washed. It turns out this child had thrown every piece of clothing she'd worn on the camping trip and at her grandparents back in her bag. So naturally it did not get washed. She carried her bag into her room, and was going to pull out "what is still clean."
OH THE AROMA!!!
That bag stunk to high heaven. I pulled everything out, threw it all in the wash and sprayed her luggage down with some lavender linen spray...
By the time this chore was completed, the guilty child was putting away the dishes. I went to give her a hug and tell her how glad I was to have her home with me today. "Even if you do bring home a stinky bag of clothes." She started to giggle.
And she giggled some more.
And some more. I decided I was suspicious of the amount of laughter my statement engendered...
Naturally I asked "What's so funny?"
"I tooted while you were hugging me" she shouted gleefully.
"You. Are. Disgusting."
And she about fell over laughing.
This is the life I'm living, Gentle Reader.
Clearly. Disgusting.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Exhaustion
I am supposed to be mowing my lawn.
Or cleaning my house.
Or doing laundry.
But instead I'm reading blogs of people who I don't even know for the most part. Poor Brent is back at work...
Kelsey is glad to be home from work.
She was on duty all weekend long while we were camping. She kept her eye on the kids all day the first day. If they actually bothered to play near the campsite she would come and lay down under a camper...But as soon as they headed off to who knows where, she would drag herself up, heave a big sigh and trot after them. The second day she was more relaxed and had decided they weren't going to wander off and meet any bears in the woods...
You know dogs sleep 18 hours a day, right? Well, she would crash as soon as we went in the camper, and not move until the next morning. As soon as we loaded her in the back seat for the ride home, this happened. And she did not move a single muscle until we pulled into the driveway.
Poor old girl. Raising kids is hard work.
Or cleaning my house.
Or doing laundry.
But instead I'm reading blogs of people who I don't even know for the most part. Poor Brent is back at work...
Kelsey is glad to be home from work.
She was on duty all weekend long while we were camping. She kept her eye on the kids all day the first day. If they actually bothered to play near the campsite she would come and lay down under a camper...But as soon as they headed off to who knows where, she would drag herself up, heave a big sigh and trot after them. The second day she was more relaxed and had decided they weren't going to wander off and meet any bears in the woods...
You know dogs sleep 18 hours a day, right? Well, she would crash as soon as we went in the camper, and not move until the next morning. As soon as we loaded her in the back seat for the ride home, this happened. And she did not move a single muscle until we pulled into the driveway.
Poor old girl. Raising kids is hard work.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Irony
My girls went home with my folks for a few days following our camping adventure. The kitten my dad had brought home for Popcorn last summer had kittens of her own, and they had to go see them.
Studmuffin & I came home and unloaded the pickup, failed to put a single thing away, and crashed on the couches. Me with a trashy romance, and him with the laptop....
About 5pm he said, "Do you want to got to Raisin' Cane for dinner?" Honestly, Dear Reader, I did not. But my Grandma always said that if your husband offers to take you out to dinner, even if you have dinner cooking, you GO. Take that meat out of the oven and stick it in the freezer, put your makeup on and GO.
So, I went and pulled my frizzy camp hair into a neater pony tail, slapped on some mascara, changed out of my holey camping shorts and put on my practically brand new American Eagle plaid shorts (I bought them the summer we moved in, which may be three years ago, but they're the newest pair of shorts I have) and climbed into the car.
Raisin' Cane's was closed. Darn it. But we ended up spying this little gem on our way to Slim Chickens.
Now, granted a cat clinic all by itself is not funny. However if you view it in light of where it is situated....
Next door to a Chinese restaurant? That is just priceless...
And yes, the second image is grainy. It happened in the process of my rotating the image. I know so little about editing pictures from my phone...But it is still ironic, right?
Hello? Is anyone out there?
Studmuffin & I came home and unloaded the pickup, failed to put a single thing away, and crashed on the couches. Me with a trashy romance, and him with the laptop....
About 5pm he said, "Do you want to got to Raisin' Cane for dinner?" Honestly, Dear Reader, I did not. But my Grandma always said that if your husband offers to take you out to dinner, even if you have dinner cooking, you GO. Take that meat out of the oven and stick it in the freezer, put your makeup on and GO.
So, I went and pulled my frizzy camp hair into a neater pony tail, slapped on some mascara, changed out of my holey camping shorts and put on my practically brand new American Eagle plaid shorts (I bought them the summer we moved in, which may be three years ago, but they're the newest pair of shorts I have) and climbed into the car.
Raisin' Cane's was closed. Darn it. But we ended up spying this little gem on our way to Slim Chickens.
Now, granted a cat clinic all by itself is not funny. However if you view it in light of where it is situated....
Next door to a Chinese restaurant? That is just priceless...
And yes, the second image is grainy. It happened in the process of my rotating the image. I know so little about editing pictures from my phone...But it is still ironic, right?
Hello? Is anyone out there?
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