Me, Midol, and Other Stuff

How great is Midol? Don't you just love it? Don't you think that you could probably take it, like daily, and be a better person? Seriously. Let's review the active ingredients, shall we?

Acetaminophen: Gotta love it. Brand name Tylenol is what you will hear it called primarily. Of course there's been a lot of hoopla lately about overdose and over usage, and decreasing the strength it's sold in. Here's my take on that (you knew I had one.) Take only the recommended dosage. Read all labeling on all of your medications so you will know if you take 2 different meds with the same ingredient in it. Don't be a bonehead.

Pyrilamine maleate: Not so common to most of us. But what woman wouldn't love to decrease bloating daily? I think I just heard an amen out there. Even if I'm not technically bloated, I think I could do with decreased bloating daily. It makes me happier to be able to blame any unsightly bulges on bloating. And if I can take a pill to daily decrease it, even better. (I feel compelled to warn you to not take diuretics on a daily basis. It's not safe if you don't need it, and it can lead to electrolyte imbalance and kidney failure. This is all in fun people. Please do not follow foolish advice. Thank you.)

And finally, the biggy.....Dumdadadummm!!!

CAFFEINE!!!!!

And the crowd goes wild.

I love caffeine. Seriously, I'm a better person on caffeine. It's my psychotropic drug of choice. (insert singsong voice here) Love it! Just ask Studmuffin. I'm more productive. I'm wittier. I'm nicer. I'm just a better all around gal. And that's a good thing!

I love caffeine. I specifically love coffee. I love it, love it, love it. Unfortunately I've not been enjoying it as often since it's so blasted hot so dad gum early. I go out and work in the yard, and who wants to go out on an already muggy morning with a hot cup of coffee? Not me. And believe me I never thought I'd type or say those words. That just tells you how hot it is here.

So, in conclusion, I think Midol is WONDERFUL! I think maybe I would benefit from it's use on more than a few days a month....

Moving on....

I clean our bathrooms every week. I promise I do. Now, judging by the following pictures that I'm shocked I'm allowing anyone to see, you may not believe it, but I truly do. The problem is it's summer. In the summer we use tons of sunscreen. This leads to a greasy residue on the bottom of our tubs. Ick.

I've tried several different cleaners. I think commercial cleaners are way overpriced. I tend to avoid them. I prefer vinegar, bleach and baking soda (not mixed together.) So, here's my super secret method of cleaning a greasy, grimy, disgusting tub.

1. Wet down entire tub.



2. Sprinkle generously with baking soda.


3. Use a wash cloth, or if your tub is as gross as mine, a scrub brush (nylon to avoid scratching the tub) to work loose the disgusting grossness of your tub.


4. Rinse.


Wasn't that easy?

Now, please don't think less of me after seeing that embarrassingly dirty tub. Thank you.

Now, I must go. I still have more to share but I have to leave to meet my sister Paula to get my girls. She has had them since Sunday. Is it just me, or are my kids never home? I know they had a great time with their cousins, but I missed them and it's time for them to be home for a few days.

Until maybe next week, and I was thinking maybe they should go see my mom for a week or so......

The Watermelon Cannon

Remember my fantabulous, albeit sweaty July 4th in my home town? I was unable to figure out how to edit all of my video bits of the watermelon cannon. That's why I keep Studmuffin around. He figured it out in no time flat. So, here you have it. I think it's originally called a Punkin' Chunkin', but pumpkins are out of season right now, so I took the liberty of calling it a watermelon cannon. I like changing things to suit my whims....



Have a great day!

Hello! I'm finally back! A wire had rusted loose on our satellite, so alas, no internet for almost a full week. It feels great to be back...

Anyway, here's an inspiration for a blog I had while I had no internet. I had multiple inspirations, and jotted them down, but I'm afraid they will be stale by the time I can actually do them....*sigh*

Do you have problems with your snooze button? I do. Every dad gum morning my alarm goes off. Every morning I immediately hit snooze, and this is what follows:

"Dear God, yes, I know I need to get up. I hate getting up. I hate mornings. Help me change my attitu...plemppfjlsple..."

BEEP! BEEP!

Wham! I hit the snooze button. Again.

"Okay, God, I know I really need to get up so I can get my Bible study in before I start the business of the day. Help me have a good....zzzz"

BEEP! BEEP!

Wham!
"Seriously, I know I've got to get up. Help me be your hands as I care for my patients today. Help me serve them with...aaah"

BEEP! BEEP!

Wham! (do you see a pattern here?)

"Oh my goodness! I'm late! Dear God, help me to get around in time for work (I dash to the bathroom.) Help me manage the rest of the morning wisely (getting dressed and dashing to the kitchen to throw bread in the toaster.) Yes, I know I had plenty of time when my alarm beeped the first time (throwing whatever I can find into my lunch box.) Forgive me for my laziness (slapping on eye shadow and mascara, while trying to brush teeth.) I will do better tomorrow (kissing Studmuffin goodbye, waking the girls and kissing them goodbye, grabbing purse and dashing out the door.)

And so it goes. Every. Single. Morning. Whether I'm going to work, or need to get my rear in the yard to weed and mow and water and whatever else....I hit that blasted snooze button 3 times too many....

Okay, so maybe moving the alarm across the room sounds like it would help. Wrong. I actually tried this. I simply would get up, hit snooze and fall right back into bed...At least when it's on my bedside table I only let it beep twice before hitting snooze. And if Studmuffin's alarm is going off, I elbow him at the first beep to hit his snooze. Poor guy.

Well, there you have it. My conversations with God around my snooze button. Isn't your day better for knowing that totally pointless info about me?

NO INTERNET SERVICE!!!

Dear Gentle Reader,

I regret to inform you that my internet is down. I am typing a quick post at work to notify you of my temporary absence from the blogosphere. I know you are all going to be in mourning until I am able to post regularly again. Please, do not let this affect your daily activities. Be strong. I know together we can get through this time of tremendous pain and suffering. My prayers are with you. Amen.

Oh! And keep an eye out for my return. I hope to be up and running by Saturday evening. I have a great idea for some posts, but alas, no way to share my wonderful ramblings with all of you! *sob*

July 4th in a Small Town

We went to my parents for the 4th. Have I ever told you the 4th of July is my favorite holiday. There are 2 factors that play into this decision. First, when you live 700 miles from any family, it is the only holiday that you can be guaranteed you will have off with your spouse, and family will seldom expect you to make the drive to see them. Second, as the King and Queen of Cheap, this holiday is perfect. Did you know you can always find a free parade? And frequently a free barbecue (or at least a cheap one) and usually you can top the day off with a free fireworks display. Free, free, free, free, free. It makes me giddy just thinking about it.


Well, we had planned to drive to my hometown for the parade and the picnic in the park. However, my sister Paula and her family were there, and they all wanted to go fishing. I was quickly deserted by my family in favor of smelly fish. However, SOMEONE had to go to town to buy more fireworks for the display we planned at my parents that evening. Mom & I were the elected party.

We made sure we got there in time for the parade. It was amazing to see people I had not seen in 15 years. It was great catching up with people my age and seeing their kids. Unfortunately, they all had to take my word that I had beautiful, amazing, well behaved children that far outshone all of theirs. You will be impressed to know that I refrained from telling anyone about my blog, or handing out business cards with my blog address and Wonder Woman on it.



After the parade, we headed to the fireworks stand, only to discover it was not yet open. However, we noticed a van parked in a field and cars lined up facing said van on the street. "Oh! They must be getting ready for the Punkin' Chunkin'!" What? This was certainly a new festivity to me. When I was growing up we had the standard parade, volley ball tournament, softball tournament, golf tournament, gunny sack races, foot races, turtle races, swimming races, picnic in the park, and free will offering barbecue in the evening with live entertainment followed by a fireworks display put on by the local volunteer fire department. I'm sure I forgot something there, but needless to say the day was always jammed with fun stuff to do. But again, a Punkin' Chunkin'? This was a mystery to me. Of course, we had to see what the big hoopla was all about.


First, let me say that it takes a special group of men to build THIS thing.



But, in all seriousness, it was absolutely fascinating to watch. There was a smaller cannon that could aim a little better, but not shoot as far. You can see it below the big orange one in the photo above.

After they were through wowing us with their ability to demolish a van with watermelons (pumpkins are out of season), they aimed the big one up in the air and showed off how far ti could shoot: Nearly a mile. I'm serious, that sucker could shoot that cannon an amazing distance. I tried to video it, but unfortunately my little point and shoot wasn't as effective as I might have liked. Plus, my camera battery died. Darn. I have several short clips that I'm trying to figure out how to edit into one video. I'll enlist Studmuffin's help tonight, so maybe I'll have more for you soon!

Anyway, after the Punkin' Chunkin' we went to the fireworks stand, hit the quick stop for a cold drink, and dropped in to the grocery store for a few last minute items. At this point, we were pretty hungry, so we headed to the park for the Chamber of Commerce Picnic. We did have to actually pay for our burgers, but it was free to me, since Mom picked up the tab, so I was game! I saw lots of people that I had not thought about in years, and that was even better than the free burger!

Well, I have lots more to tell you about my fabulous fourth, but since I've been a tad dry on blog ideas, I'm planning on milking this holiday for at least 2 more posts!

I smell a rat

Bookworm had her end of softball season party Tuesday. We got home a little after 9pm. I had not had a chance to grab our mail, so I went and got it. Studmuffin had pulled into the garage and he and the girls had headed inside. Of course, he left the garage door up so I could come in easily.

I was strolling back from the mailbox when I saw a dark figure running down our sidewalk and around the corner of our house...Right for the garage. I did what any responsible adult with an attack dog would do. I started screaming, "KELSEY! KELSEY! GET IT! GET IT!" at the top of my lungs in a shrill Marilyn voice, that gives me shudders every time I hear it come out of my mouth....

Kelsey and Holly came barreling around the corner, and skid to a stop. The gate was closed, so they could only get so close to the intruder. Kelsey immediately assumed the position: crouched low, hackles raised, teeth bared. Holly fell all over herself and Kelsey trying to see what the occasion was. I continued to shriek and holler. The dark object must have been terrified by all my carrying on. It ran right past the open garage door....


Under the gate to the back yard....

And straight into the jaws of death.


Umm, no.




I did not take a picture of our intruder either in life or death.




But it was a rat.




And it was big.




And I screamed like a girl.




But now it's dead.




And Oliver was on the front porch sleeping through the whole thing. Big ol' worthless ball of fluff.



The end.


Wait!!!

Did you seriously think I would let you off that easy? I remembered that I have to add this: Kelsey is my faithful sidekick in yard work. She roams the yard while I work. When we are out of the gate, I put a leash on her, but don't actually hold it. As long as the leash is in place she stays near me. As soon as it's off, she is gone baby gone.

Well, last summer after our farmer behind us plowed up his field, we had a rodent problem. I would be weeding the flower bed, see something small and furry and begin to shriek, "Kelsey get it!" And she would. And it would be dead. And I would be glad.

The end.

For real.

Why are you still reading?

I'm at a loss

I got nuthin' to say...Nada...Zilch...Zippo.


So, I will quote Bookworm on our way home from Hillsboro. I had bought them a Jonas Brothers CD as a welcome home gift: "Mom, you know the Jonas Brothers are just like Alvin and the Chipmunks."

"Really?" I couldn't see it as the Chipmunks drive me crazy quickly, and the Jonas Brothers...Well, they don't.

"Yeah, they're both bands with 3 brothers!"

Of course.

Bookworm had her end of softball season party last night. One of the moms is a manager for a hotel. She arranged for us to have a free swim party there. I had just finished telling my friend about my new swimsuit, and the impetus to buy one (Studmuffin's ogling is documented here) when Bookworm walked up to us and said, "Hey, Mom, what did Daddy mean when he said you guys would go get a room while we swam?" I thought my friend was going to fall over laughing. I was a tad embarrassed.

Well, that's all I've got for you today folks. I'm telling you, my idea tank is as dry as a bone, so if you can remind me of any humiliating situations I have been in, that I've possible forgotten about, please don't hesitate to give me a reminder, so I may share it with all 5 readers of this blog. I would hate to disappoint anyone with a shortage of posts...