Sickliness and Thoughts...

I've decided that we should build on to our house.  I think we should turn our bedroom into a family room, and build out to make a larger master bedroom and bedroom for Popcorn.  If possible, we can tear down the wall between our existing rooms and make a larger den.  If not, then Popcorn's existing room can be an office, and the other a den.

I have not discussed any of this with my husband.

He will argue and list all of the ways this is not possible.  Money, easements, money, time, unstable economy, money....I will weep and wail and moan and eventually stick out my chest, all to no avail.

So.  I will simply share this little fantasy with you for now.

I am bored.

Yes.  I said it.  The word that I do not allow my kids to utter.  Popcorn was sick last Wednesday through Monday.  Bookworm has been sick since Friday.  She started vomiting last night, which was something new.  She is white as a sheet, and at this point I can't imagine her going to school tomorrow.  Yesterday I went between complete exhausted, head congested, eyes aching, unable to breathe, to brief spurts of energy where I would do a load of laundry or empty the dishwasher, then be completely exhausted, and my head would feel as if it was going to topple off of my shoulders.  And that was while taking pseudoephedrine and drinking cups of Earl Grey and chamomile tea.  The only time my throat wasn't killing me was while drinking a hot beverage, so I alternated the two.

Last night I was tired of the television playing kid shows all day.  And I had no desire to look at the computer or a book.

I made Studmuffin play Scrabble with me.  Actually, he suggested it, as he figured he could beat me in my weakened state.  He started out with a 96 point word.  He spelled "soldier," used all of his tiles, got a 50 point bonus, plus a double word score.  I never did catch up after that.  However, we followed that up with Seinfeld Scene It, and I won at that one.  Barely. 

I couldn't sleep last night.  I was hot, then freezing, then hot...Then Bookworm would start hollering my name, and we'd meet up in the bathroom and she'd puke while I held her hair.  I'd give her a cold rag and water to rinse her mouth out, then I'd stomp back in the bedroom and glare at my husband's sleeping form as I crawled back in bed bouncing and yanking the covers as much as possible in an effort to disturb his sleep. 

It didn't work.  By 5:30, when I'd had maybe 3 hours of sleep.  I crawled in bed, and sat up on my elbows and put my face nose to nose to him and stared at him until he woke up. 

He nearly fell backwards out of bed, "What the....?"

"How can you sleep through all of that?"  I barked.  Then I yanked all of the covers off of him, tucked them around me and turned my back to him...

Bookworm yelled "Daddy!!!" maybe 10 minutes later. 

HE DID NOT WAKE UP!  So, I did what every mother has to do in those situations. 

I kicked him.

He actually stirred.  I said very LOUDLY, "It's your turn."  And I may have kicked him again.

The important thing to note here is he actually got out of bed.  And I finally slept.  With no more cold/hot flashes. 

And I actually ate breakfast this morning and it tasted good.

But my child is still pitiful.

I think maybe I will clean out Popcorn's drawers while they are at church this morning.  Then, if I'm lucky, I will be able to convince her to part with some toys today. 

But I'm not promising anything on that score.  I used to simply suggest that she had to get rid of or figure out how to make her room neater, and she'd willingly part with all sorts of stuff.  She has started to dig in her heels, and is now unable to part with much of anything...

What did you get accomplished this weekend?  Hanging out with friends?  Did you go out and enjoy beautiful weather?  Perhaps you cleaned a closet...Do tell!

The Neglectful Blogger Does a Post

First you need to know that this little beauty, complete with chipped fingernail polish went to church camp.

And left her little sister all alone with nobody to play with. The same sister who is dependent on knowing the exact whereabouts of her big sister at all times...Even if it means lying on the floor outside the bathroom door, waiting (im)patiently for her to finish so she can bully her about playing a game...

Then, my brother in law and his two oldest came and helped paint our house. I did not take a single picture as I was determined that Studmuffin had my camera and placed it somewhere unknown to me...


However, after my children returned yesterday from five DAYS at my sister's house, and she sent this mug to me, I became desperate in my search for the missing camera. After all, a gal has her priorities, right? Of course, after Studmuffin continued to deny misplacing aforementioned camera, I decided to investigate with the girls....

Who also claimed complete ignorance on the whereabouts of the missing item...

Then, I had a small epiphany.

I had placed the camera in my work bag to show off pictures of my family at work!!!

And promptly forgot all about it and did not share one tiny snapshot with a single coworker!

Now, if that ain't motherly love and pride and all that jazz, I do NOT know what is!


So, here I am today, doing a post inspired by a mug given to me by my sister Paula. You remember, the sister who doesn't have a blog, but totally should?

Yeah. That sister.

Anyway, my kids HAD to be gone all week, as my nanny was at camp, and Studmuffin was going to be traveling this week, and really, who wants to have a friend dump their kids on them for undetermined periods of time so their mom can work?

Well, apparently, aunts are just the solution for such a dilemma.


And, WHAT ABOUT THAT MUG? Is it not too perfect for an obsessed coffee lover such as myself? I texted her that I love, love, LOVE it, and she said she saw it and thought of me and knew she had to get it for me.

What a great sister!


This morning I enjoyed using my new mug to get myself perked up to work on painting the trim of the house. Bryan (Studmuffin's brother, whom I did not take one single photo of) came last weekend and used his super duper power painter to do the gables....



As you can see, I still have some trim to go. We worked until about noon, ate lunch, and after cooling off in the house, we decided to wait until this evening to start in again. Well, the heat and the fact that we ran out of brown paint put a stop to our productivity!

Anyhoo, now you have a brief update on the goings on in this rambler's house.

You may now all resume your regularly scheduled lives...

Married to the Project Manager

Before I begin this post, I must share a statement made by Bookworm at a work day for the local softball fields...

Helpful Parent: Man, we should have done this differently. We need a better project manager!
Bookworm: My dad's a project manager. He manages EVERYTHING at our house!

Now Gentle Reader, I ask that you stop and ponder that statement for a moment. You know kids usually say the truth, and usually when you really don't want to hear it. So, please understand, that after years of "managing" jobs, my husband is very managerial at home...

We had some home improvements to do this weekend. I wanted to work on the fence. He is not interested in completing our fence at this time. He is interested in tearing out the gravel and mulch and chewed up bushes in the flower bed by our garage. He intends to level the ground and put pavestone there, and a trellis of some sort to block the Oklahoma wind, and then set up his grill there. I have no problem with this plan, however, it is not currently correlating with my plan to build a bigger fence and get the house painted....

As part of his effort to placate me and stop the nagging (not that I ever nag mind you, I simply nudge or suggest), we did go to grab a few paint samples yesterday at Home Depot. They are only three bucks a sample, and that seems so cheap that the trim on the back of my house is in danger of becoming a rainbow in my quest for the perfect shade of brown. One color is too red. The next is too brown. The next looks suspiciously like poop... We decided on the wall paint for the gables already. The trim has proven more of a problem.

As we were staring at paint chips and flipping through idea books, I stumbled upon this lovely shade of turquoise. I had to have it. However, I had nothing to paint that particular color. Then, I remembered my sister mentioning a table and chairs at a junk store. It was a butcher block table with white legs and three chairs, one of which was missing a slat in the back. However, it was only thirty dollars. "You know, that would be really cute to paint up and put on your back porch." You see, she had seen my back porch with the old table and chairs, two of which were chewed up by Holly...

How exciting! I now had the perfect excuse to buy that paint!!! And, I was kind of considering this other color for the trim, but was afraid it was going to be too red (which it is), but I decided to buy a quart for the other color of my soon to be purchased table and chairs for my back porch!!


Isn't it adorable? I had the bench on my front porch. I snagged it from Brent's aunt a few years ago. It was previously brown, but in my mind it was always supposed to be turquoise or red. And, as I did a quick and dirty job of sanding it (the paint was peeling off) I discovered that at different points in time it had been blue, white and, yes even red! Bookworm is actually who suggested using it for the fourth seat at the table. Good job, Bookworm!

What you need to know about this project is that Studmuffin made me sand everything before I painted it. "What is the worst that can happen if I don't sand it?"

"The paint won't stick," he replied, as he began to get out the sander, and string extension cord.

"But I don't want perfection! It's an outdoor table. I want to see streaks! I want the person who sees it to understand that this is a table who has had a previous life, and a previous family, and it is now being repurposed to bring joy and happiness to my back porch!"

He decided that it was entirely possible that I was going to openly defy him and paint it without sanding, so he offered to help instead of doing his own project, which of course I considered pointless and a total waste of time anyway, since it wasn't the project I wanted to work on....


What you also should know about this weekend, is that I got up early and decided to finish staining the deck of the pool. I had started it in April, but when I ran out of stain, it fell by the wayside. Studmuffin had bought more stain, but I kept thinking of better things to do than stain the deck. I finally finished it yesterday, and I think it looks a whole lot better! Some of that wood was so faded it was nearly white!

I still had paint left in each color after I painted the furniture yesterday. I decided maybe I should paint the bench on my front porch the terra cotta color since the stain was pealing and flaking off, and my bottom sometimes itched after sitting on it...


Luckily, the project manager of the house spoke up and said, "Hey, why don't you use some the last of your deck sealant on it? That would look really nice."

"Does that mean I have to sand it first? I don't want to sand it! Sanding in no way shape or form appeals to my desire for immediate gratification. Besides, if the paint is a little uneven, the bench will have character! It will fit in with our casual/comfy/come as you are/put your feet up on my coffee table that is actually an old school desk lifestyle!!"

"I think you should sand it and stain it," he said in his most reasonable voice as he continued to shovel rock into the wheel barrow...Grrrr...Why is he always so rational?

"But I don' wanna stain it! I don' wanna do extra steps!" And, I stomped into the shop where everything has it's place and every extension cord is neatly coiled and put exactly where it goes, grabbed the stupid sander, flung out the extension cord that wouldn't even tangle up so I could gripe about what a pain it was, and got to work....

Ten minutes later the bench was sanded, and stained.

And Studmuffin continued to work on his excavation project, then kindly helped me carry it back to the front porch where he said, "Babe, that looks great. You did a great job."

He didn't even gloat that he was right and I was wrong, and staining it was absolutely the right choice for that bench...

I hate it when he's magnanimous!

Now. I still have about a fourth of a can of each paint left. They are just crying to be used. What will I paint next?

Nagging

It doesn't work.

Surely you've heard that by now...."Don't nag. It only irritates your husband."

So, being the quiet, demure and submissive wife that I am, I don't nag.

What's the point?

It doesn't work!

Nope.

Instead, I try to play helpless and frail.

Which really doesn't work either... Ya' know, the whole bossy, nursey, I-know-what's-best, assertive personality doesn't bode well for the frail, helpless deal.

Then, I try sticking my chest out and doing the whole bend and snap thing. Hey, I've even been known to offer up certain *ahem* rewards for a job well done.


Which obviously has a pretty good return on the investment.


However, there are times, when even that fails. In those times, I pull out the big guns.

I blog.

For example, did you know what I am getting for Mother's Day?

Yes, I already know.

You see, my Mother's Day gift is the gift that keeps on giving.

And giving.

And giving.

I'm getting new bathroom faucets!

I know, I can feel your jealousy pouring through my computer even as I type. Please. Restrain yourself. Covetousness is NOT appealing.



You see, he OFFERED to buy me new lawn furniture. Which I have wanted forever.

But, we still have Holly, and she will eat any new lawn furniture that we acquire. She ate a pool pump that a fence was built around, so what's to stop her from eating furniture sitting easily within jaws reach?

Plus, two out of three faucets were dripping, and we couldn't get them to stop...

So. I'm pretty sure they will be installed by the end of the day on Mother's Day.

You see, that's the beauty of this here blog. Studmuffin can't let the whole blogosphere know he didn't get my faucets installed!


Post Note: I had started this post and planned to upload pics of the boxes of faucets before Studmuffin got started. In typical, my-husband-is-the-greatest-style, he had the first installed by 8:15 this morning and was started on the second.


Drat. He totally stole my thunder.



Perhaps for Father's Day I'll get him the matching light fixtures for him to install...

Mr. Black & Decker himself...

Remember the yard swing I got at our town wide garage sale for a whopping $5? I'm sure you remember how Holly finished my decision on how to salvage the cushions. She promptly destroyed them and reminded me that fabric anything and puppies don't mix.

Studmuffin decided to make a bench for the frame. He said, "You know, for about 30 bucks I could build you a nice wooden bench for that."

Of course, I agreed. Gentle Reader, can I just tell you how awesome my husband is?



He started cutting the wood for the swing last Sunday. I was shocked when I walked in and discovered him routering (spelling?) the edges.


I was even more amazed when he spent his second evening working on it Friday. And he finished it. He did a fantastic job.


Today he is attaching the rope, and he's decided that he's going to crackle it in blue and white. I'm not sure which will be the top color, and which the base. Of course, this will also require him repainting the frame. But, hey, I'm not going to interfere with obvious creative genius when I see it!


I can tell you it will look great. This sure beats the heck out of what I originally pictured, which was a very basic squared off bench suspended by a rope. I'm sure since it's prettier, it's bound to be more comfy too!

Post Note: Ummm, yes, I realize I could be a tad more patient and post a picture of the finished product. One little problem. He has yet to purchase the paint. You do realize that this is where progress will stutter and stall for an extended period. At least if I go by previous projects. He works really hard and brilliantly fast, but when he gets to the last, simple stretch, he loses interest and moves on to a new one. I can't blame him. Anyone who dug through our closets would undoubtedly find countless craft projects that I've begun with good intentions, yet failed to complete. This is the reason I no longer do crafts. I can't handle the guilt of the uncompleted project, yet I lack the ambition to finish it. My answer: don't start what you know you won't finish! Of course, Studmuffin will finish it. He's just great that way.

How Clean is Your House?

Today I was home with Bookworm. I had vowed to be nothing but be lazy and nonproductive while I nursed my invalid back to health. We decided to watch that show "How Clean is Your House" on BBCA while we ate lunch. Not a very good idea. This man had not cleaned his house AT ALL in 4 years. He had 3 large dogs in his house. Can you imagine the filth? Not conducive towards digestion, I assure you!

When it cut to commercial they have this little cartoon hand that writes on the dirty window, "How clean is your house?" Bookworm replied with, "Not very."

"I beg your pardon?" Okay, I will not win any awards for the cleanest house. Our house is very "lived in," but I assure you, it is not filthy!

"Mom, our house is not like his, but he hadn't cleaned house in FOUR YEARS! You have to keep the house clean. That man is disgusting." She would gasp and clutch her chest when they would show particularly nasty things (mouse droppings in the toaster, roaches running rampant, fleas everywhere...) I replied with "Helloooo...Why do you think I had kids?"

Well, after she finished lunch, she disappeared to her room. I started decluttering the house in preparation for running the vacuum. I went to her room to put some things up, and guess what? She was cleaning her room! I started laughing. You just can't watch that show and not feel the need to disinfect something after!

Hey! I did learn something really interesting. If you have pets that come in and out of the house, they can track in fleas even with flea treatments. Also, children can track fleas in. They recommended keeping a flea collar in your vacuum bag, then changing it every month. Any fleas you vacuum up will be killed by the collar. Interesting.

The invalid in my house of sticks...

Bookworm woke me up at 5am this morning, complaining of being hot. I tried to turn on the fan, and climb back in bed (aka, blow her off) but then she got up and went to the bathroom where I heard her crying, very pitifully. I found her lying on the cold tile floor. She had a fever. I gave her some ibuprofen and tucked her onto the couch to watch tv. Then, I attempted to return to bed. (Aren't you glad you don't have a mommy that's a nurse? Sympathy is limited around this place.)

I started to hear a knocking sound. I tried to ignore it. I decided it was probably the wind. After all, we've been having so much wind, it's become my bedtime lullaby to hear it howling outside. The knocking continued. What the heck? I was afraid an animal was in the wall or our attic. I couldn't hear it in any other room of the house. I finally narrowed it down to our exterior wall. When it was light enough to finally go outside and look around, I found the culprit.

On the gable of the house, a piece of wood is coming down. It is the piece that's underneath the eave. I'm pretty sure it leaves an open space for birds to get in the attic. This is the same wall that has developed a crack in the corner where the exterior wall meets the wall between our room and the guest room. There is no crack on the other side. We had 70 mph winds in October and when the roofers came through our neighborhood to drum up business I asked them about it. They said it's possible that the wind blew hard enough to make that wall flex in and out during the storm and create the crack.

When my children slam the door going into the garage, the wall facing it shakes. Our house is on a slab. This seems impossible on a concrete foundation. I'm starting to think I live in a house of sticks....

Did you know we've had 3 gas leaks repaired? And we've only lived here 9 months. How do I know I don't have leaks in my wall? It's seriously making me doubt the joys of natural gas...Even though I love cooking on a gas stove. I have a carbon monoxide detector, but it didn't register any of the other leaks. They were all in the garage at our heater and hot water tank.

Yuck...Enough heavy stuff. I'm done complaining. I'm blessed today. I get to stay home with a sick kid. This means I'm unable to go to the grocery store. I can't do any work, because I must be readily available to tend to the invalid. She is suffering a headache, so out of pure compassion for my wee one I will refrain from running the vacuum. I think I can pretend the globs of grass and mud that has been tracked in on shoes is not there. I'm not even sure I should risk running the washing machine with her delicate constitution. And any other form of cleaning? Well, I just don't know if I can risk leaving her to her own devices for such an extended period of time. I must keep a vigilant eye on that fever. I think we will just rest and watch Disney. I will provide her with plenty of liquids and myself with plenty of coffee, and she will be on the mend in no time.

Dang it.

I do think Popcorn is due for a mental health day....