Friday, October 29, 2010
Tooth Fairy Tales
I think I've touched on this topic before...
It's just so dang funny, I keep thinking about it, and I laugh every time. And if you don't Gentle Reader...well, I fear you are just a stick in the mud.
That's right! I said it! A stick. In the mud.
I know I've told you all about Popcorn debunking the Easter bunny...
I know I've told you about the last time the Tooth Fairy failed to show in a timely manner...
However, today I was rambling at work, and I remembered a conversation we had a few days after the Easter Bunny was debunked.
Popcorn: Mom. I have a loose tooth. The Tooth Fairy is real, okay?
Me: Okay. Why are you telling me this?
Popcorn: I just thought you should know.
And then she did this:
Which just happens to be the exact expression I give her when I'm trying to convey the seriousness of a situation and she better hurry up double quick and do what I say. Or dire consequences will soon follow.
I wonder what her dire consequences were going to be for that poor Tooth Fairy if she failed to show?
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Camp Snoopy
Did you know we went camping? Did you know we own a pop up camper? Did you know it's from 1969 and has been in a Quonset barn, unopened since 1972? Did you know it's actually pretty warm (we didn't even use a heater) and beats sleeping on the ground? Did you know it didn't even leak when it started raining Thursday night and that the rain didn't stop until Friday after lunch? Did you know it's easier to put up and take down than a tent? Did you know this is the only picture I took of it, while I'm pretty sure my sister Dawn took at least ten?
Well, now you do!
Did you know that we went to an estate sale and a multifamily garage sale? Oh, and don't forget we also went to the thrift store. Did you know we go there every year?
Did you know I found an Eddie Bauer jean jacket for three bucks, and it fits perfect?
Did you know that I actually had a really cool crafty idea that we did as a group, and I took pictures with Paula's camera? Did you know she better blog about it?
Well, now you do.
Did you know that I actually had a really cool crafty idea that we did as a group, and I took pictures with Paula's camera? Did you know she better blog about it?
Well, now you do.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Camping
We went camping last week with my family. There were 22 of us in all.
Good news!
We didn't have to sleep on the ground this year!
Guess what?
I hardly took any pictures! I took one picture of a human.
See this innocent little freckle face with Kelsey? The morning I took this picture, I woke up at about 6:30. It was still dark. I had to potty. I debated laying in bed and ignoring the urge, as I had to hike to the bathrooms and then I'd be wide awake. However, when Kelsey woke up, and started moving around, I figured she needed to potty too, so I gave up.
I got up, went outside to grab the leash which was left on the table outside. I then grabbed a little flashlight, stood outside the camper and hooked Kelsey's leash, brought her out, closed the camper door, then zipped it shut. Kelsey and I both turned to head out for our morning ablutions.
Suddenly, Kelsey began to growl and bark in her fiercest manner! I darn near had a heart attack. What could it be? A bear? A cougar? A rabid coyote come to rip my throat out? I placed my hand on her collar and told her to be quiet so as not to wake everyone else...She ignored me....It's moments like this when I understand everyone saying she's my third child...
I looked up and saw a PERSON standing about 10 feet away with their back to us. Every hair stood up on my body, and my heart began to pound. The person remained standing stock still, not saying a word...
It was a small person. Wearing a floppy hat. I cocked my head to the side and looked closer.
"Elvis? Is that you?"
The little dude turned around and sure enough! It was my 9 year old nephew, out wandering around in the dark. He saw us coming out, didn't want to startle me, so he just decided to stand still and be quiet so as to give me a heart attack instead.
Obviously, he and Kelsey made up as you can see in the above picture. Apparently he'd been up since before , ready to fish. His brother was already out fishing, but when Elvis started down the trail where he suspected his brother was, he heard a "skunk in the brush," so he beat it back to the camp sites.
The night we arrived, Studmuffin had stopped to grab Sonic. He was late getting to the camp. He showed up around 9pm, and immediately got out and started to put the cover on the boat and fix all of the stuff I'd done wrong when erecting our camper. Apparently, I should have done more than just watch him fold it out before we went. In my mind, he was going to be a few minutes, not 4 hours behind me. That's the only defense I have, weak as it is. Anyhoo, in his haste to make everything right, he sat his half eaten dinner on the ground near our boat.
As he was carrying stuff into the camper he heard a rustling sound. This skunk was the biggest he'd ever seen. And not one whit afraid of him. Apparently, he has grown up around this lake, and he knows diligence and boldness lead to tater tots and popcorn chicken. Being the wonderful man he is, Studmuffin just knew it was a blogging moment. So he recorded it for all posterity.
Ain't he grand?
Friday, October 22, 2010
A Post Revisited
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Just So You Don't Miss Me...
I know this here blog is the sunshine in your day. Since I will be unable to post for a few days, I've decided to repost some things that happened this year last time...
So you can be praying no such shenanigans occur again.
Like ruptured ear drums....
Or bronchitis...
Or sinus infections...
And that was just me!
Anyhoo, here's an oldey but goodey as they say! Check it out!
Clickety click click!
So you can be praying no such shenanigans occur again.
Like ruptured ear drums....
Or bronchitis...
Or sinus infections...
And that was just me!
Anyhoo, here's an oldey but goodey as they say! Check it out!
Clickety click click!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sarah's Wedding
Sarah got married this weekend...She walked down the aisle to the same music as we did. Remember the scene in Man From Snowy River when Jessica's playing the piano? Click here to listen to Jessica's Theme. That was what the bride walked in to....
AND, they left to the same music...Remember the music played when he's on the black chasing the brumbies? That's what they left to...I can't find the clip of that scene on youtube.
AND they even copied us on their honeymoon...I'm pretty sure they're destined for years of marital bliss...
AND, they left to the same music...Remember the music played when he's on the black chasing the brumbies? That's what they left to...I can't find the clip of that scene on youtube.
AND they even copied us on their honeymoon...I'm pretty sure they're destined for years of marital bliss...
Gentle Reader, please don't ask what is happening in this photo. Thank you.
The kids of all ages enjoyed the photo booth. Below you see Paula's boys and my girls. They are one classy bunch, let me tell ya.
The kids of all ages enjoyed the photo booth. Below you see Paula's boys and my girls. They are one classy bunch, let me tell ya.
My sisters & I decided to pose with Grandma Irene. I'm told I favor her. If that's true, I'm gonna look fabulous when I'm 90!
Of course, I had at least 3 people come up and say "You must be Dawn's sister. You really favor her." Then, when I would talk, they'd say, "Wow! You even sound like her!" All of this was total news to me. Because, really, nobody has ever told me that I look like her. Strangely, we've both been told we look like Wonder Woman, and Linda Carter...(hint: you may want to check out those links. I'm just sayin')
Oh, and as you can see, Paula is just the blonde version of us...Truly. Nobody can deny kinship in this here clan.
Below, you see my precious Bookworm trying to take a serious photo session...
The last photo is a blur because her beloved cousin Elvis was picking on her, so she had to stop and throw her shoe at him. Again, there is never any drama or high-jinks in our house.
OH! And, of course, here's the bride and groom. I don't know, but something tells me he's gonna fit in just fine.
Monday, October 18, 2010
I Have This Thing for Cinnamon Rolls
We're going camping with my family this weekend. In preparation, I'm thinking of what I will eat. Studmuffin? He's thinking of what he needs to have to catch the most fish. I really don't care to fish at all.
Oh, I love to be out on the water, however, I just want to lay back and read a book. Sadly, my husband is completely unsupportive of this. I'm constantly having to help bait a kids hook. Or steer the boat...Or some other tedious task that completely interferes with my desire to just sit and read or stare into space.
But, this is not a post about fishing...
It's a post about cinnamon rolls. Hence the title!
We had this lovely little lady in the town I was raised near (read here 26 miles away from) who was renowned for her cinnamon rolls. I actually have her recipe, since she came to our home economics class and taught us how to make them!
However, her recipe involves patience. You make your own dough...
Then you have to let it rise....
And like most doughs, you knead it and roll it out...
I'm already impatient for that cinnamon roll, and I'm just typing about it! So, if you live in my hometown that I actually never lived in I recommend you just take your little self over and pay Ginger a visit, and I'm quite sure she will have a cinnamon roll to offer you. Then you will only eat one, instead of the whole pan that will be at your house should you get a hankering for rolls, and so decide to make them.
Was just the longest, most confusing sentence ever, or what?
Did I mention I love cinnamon rolls? I think I've done at least 2 other posts involving variations of cinnamon rolls. But they are just so darn good!
I want to take cinnamon rolls camping. However, as we are the poor relation who will be staying in our 1969 Apache pop up tent camper, I will not have an oven. I am supposed to work this week, so that leaves little time for baking days upon end in preparation as I am wont to do.
As I was thinking about my desire for cinnamon rolls, and homemade ones at that, I considered monkey bread. However, I know that I know that I know it won't last a whole day from the minute it's made, since we will all just keep snitching a little ball of deliciousness as we walk by...
I considered my super easy crescent roll cinnamon rolls, but I was really wanting that yeasty bread taste...
So, here's what I came up with:
Ingredients:
1 can of refrigerated french bread
butter
1/2 c sugar (or more, these measurements are not very concrete)
1 T cinnamon (note here: Studmuffin said they needed more cinnamon, but the last batch of rolls I made he claimed had too much...You just can't please some people!)
Icing:
1 pkg neufchatel cheese
powdered sugar (not sure how much...I just dumped, blended, and dumped until I had the right consistency)
1 tsp pure vanilla (No extract in this house)
a pinch of salt (no idea why. I just did it, then asked myself why...I sometimes act and then think. I know, this shocks you)
Unroll the french bread. Slather generously with softened butter. Do yourself a favor and throw that margarine in the garbage. Embrace the butter! Mix the cinnamon and sugar together, then sprinkle over butter. Roll french loaf up. Slice into desired thickness and place in greased (with butter of course) pan. Sprinkle with additional cinnamon if you haven't just used the last bit you have...If you are out of cinnamon, stop and ask yourself how you could possibly be out of something you use every single day, and you just went to the store.
Once you are through asking yourself things there are just no good answers to, throw those babies in the oven. Bake at 350 for about 25 minutes, or until done.
While rolls are baking, combine the neufchatel (You can use cream cheese, but why when it's more calories and fat?) with powdered sugar. Splash in about a teaspoon of vanilla and the pinch of salt that you are completely unsure why you just threw in...I guess it just feels like the thing to do in the moment. Mix well...Continue to add sugar until your frosting is desired consistency. If you get it too thick, never fear! Just splash in a bit of milk until it's thinned out!
Now, when you pull those rolls out of the oven, spread that creamy delicious frosting all over it.
Go ahead, use the whole thing when maybe half the batch will do. This is all about cinnamon rolls, and self control has no place here...
Now pour yourself a big mug of hot coffee, grab yourself a good book, and dig in!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
What's Shakin'?
I never overreact. Never ever ever...
Like Wednesday morning at 9:06 am, give or take a second.
I had just hung up the phone with my mom. Actually, I had just had the call dropped while telling my mother goodbye.
Ooo...Perhaps it was a portent of things to come...
I was standing in my living room when suddenly, something hit my house! I instinctively ducked, and the walls began to shake and the pictures rattled. A sound rumbled through the garage. Sort of like thunder, only even me in all my super calm, critical thinkingness knew it wasn't thunder...
What the?
I looked outside to see the cat and dog asleep in the yard. Okay. So, obviously nothing crashed into the house itself.
Maybe my washing machine unbalanced? Nope. It wasn't on the spin cycle, and besides, I have never known an unbalanced washer to shake the entire house.
Maybe aliens were invading. I am almost POSITIVE the trailer house shook like that in Mars Attacks....
However, since the dog and cat were still fast asleep in the back yard, it didn't seem entirely logical that aliens were descending.
After a brief contemplation, I decided to go outside and look for a mushroom cloud from a nuclear attack. No sign. Just a sunny, cloudless sky. Thank heavens. I fear I have let my emergency survival kit lapse with the last two moves...Yes, Gentle Reader, I confess that planner that I am, I have failed to lay aside 3 days worth of food and water for emergency situations.
Who has room to store all of that?
Then, I remembered that we aren't too far from the airport...Oh no! Maybe a plane crashed! Luckily I just renewed my advanced cardiovascular life support certification, so I'm ready to save lives!!!
I wandered around to the back of the house, and there wasn't an airplane crashed in the field.
At that point, I was pretty stumped on on what could have happened. Because, obviously I had ruled out all of the immediate logical causes...
Yes, an earthquake briefly entered into my peripheral thought line....But I quickly discarded that ridiculous notion.
I live in Oklahoma!!
We don't have earthquakes here! Only a totally rash, illogical thinker would consider an earthquake!
Except we do. A 5.1 on the Richter scale is the most recent rating...
Who'd have thunk?
Like Wednesday morning at 9:06 am, give or take a second.
I had just hung up the phone with my mom. Actually, I had just had the call dropped while telling my mother goodbye.
Ooo...Perhaps it was a portent of things to come...
I was standing in my living room when suddenly, something hit my house! I instinctively ducked, and the walls began to shake and the pictures rattled. A sound rumbled through the garage. Sort of like thunder, only even me in all my super calm, critical thinkingness knew it wasn't thunder...
What the?
I looked outside to see the cat and dog asleep in the yard. Okay. So, obviously nothing crashed into the house itself.
Maybe my washing machine unbalanced? Nope. It wasn't on the spin cycle, and besides, I have never known an unbalanced washer to shake the entire house.
Maybe aliens were invading. I am almost POSITIVE the trailer house shook like that in Mars Attacks....
However, since the dog and cat were still fast asleep in the back yard, it didn't seem entirely logical that aliens were descending.
After a brief contemplation, I decided to go outside and look for a mushroom cloud from a nuclear attack. No sign. Just a sunny, cloudless sky. Thank heavens. I fear I have let my emergency survival kit lapse with the last two moves...Yes, Gentle Reader, I confess that planner that I am, I have failed to lay aside 3 days worth of food and water for emergency situations.
Who has room to store all of that?
Then, I remembered that we aren't too far from the airport...Oh no! Maybe a plane crashed! Luckily I just renewed my advanced cardiovascular life support certification, so I'm ready to save lives!!!
I wandered around to the back of the house, and there wasn't an airplane crashed in the field.
At that point, I was pretty stumped on on what could have happened. Because, obviously I had ruled out all of the immediate logical causes...
Yes, an earthquake briefly entered into my peripheral thought line....But I quickly discarded that ridiculous notion.
I live in Oklahoma!!
We don't have earthquakes here! Only a totally rash, illogical thinker would consider an earthquake!
Except we do. A 5.1 on the Richter scale is the most recent rating...
Who'd have thunk?
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Cheesy Grins
I was on call Monday night. I got home from work about 6 pm. We had forgotten to set out the chicken we planned to eat for dinner. Read here: I called Studmuffin on my way to work and the conversation went as follows.
Me: Hey, Babe! I forgot to put out some chicken to thaw. Could you grab some and just get it started in the microwave, then put in the fridge before you leave for work so we can have it for dinner tonight?
Studmuffin: No problem. I'll go get it right now.
Me: Great. Remember I'm on call tonight, so try to get home by 5:30 so our nanny doesn't rebel and decide to get a job at McDonalds where she will get off on time.
Studmuffin: No problem. See you later. I gotta get the girls to the bus. Love ya.
Me: Love you too...
We always every conversation with "love you." I do that with my family too. I think it's important to say "Love you" every chance you get...
That way, when you get home and there is no meat thawed for dinner, you can remember that you love this person...The same person who left work at the same time you did, and therefore did not relieve the nanny until nearly 6 pm.
Moving on. We decided to have sandwiches. Not our usual egg sandwiches, which I highly recommend on any day at any meal. We went for lunch meat, cheese, chips and salsa.
I love cheese. I got the above cheese the other day. I can't really describe the taste. It's strong. Very cheesy...But not so strong that you can taste it when you're done. I recommend it if you're looking for a change up to your sandwich routine.
Me: Do you like that Havarti cheese?
Studmuffin: It's okay. A little strong.
Me: Huh...
And, the meal continues. Bookworm eating her sandwich with turkey, cheddar, salsa, corn chips and mayo on whole wheat. Popcorn opted for a pb&j made with Jiff Natural and homemade jelly, thankyouverymuch....I was eating turkey with the Havarti cheese and mayo. I was quite pleased, if a little sad to be out of lettuce and tomato.
Suddenly, Studmuffin got a very surprised look on his face, and he pulled the following OUT OF HIS SANDWICH!!!
The lower wax paper is the portion he had left in the sandwich. I placed it with a normal piece of wax paper that was placed between the slices to keep them from sticking...
Seriously! He ate 2/3 of a piece of wax paper before he realized it was in there! "I wondered why my ham seemed to have such a thick skin on it!"
And, there was much mirth and joviality at our table. I love a good belly laugh.
When was the last time you had a good laugh till you snort bout of hilarity? Please share!
Me: Hey, Babe! I forgot to put out some chicken to thaw. Could you grab some and just get it started in the microwave, then put in the fridge before you leave for work so we can have it for dinner tonight?
Studmuffin: No problem. I'll go get it right now.
Me: Great. Remember I'm on call tonight, so try to get home by 5:30 so our nanny doesn't rebel and decide to get a job at McDonalds where she will get off on time.
Studmuffin: No problem. See you later. I gotta get the girls to the bus. Love ya.
Me: Love you too...
We always every conversation with "love you." I do that with my family too. I think it's important to say "Love you" every chance you get...
That way, when you get home and there is no meat thawed for dinner, you can remember that you love this person...The same person who left work at the same time you did, and therefore did not relieve the nanny until nearly 6 pm.
Moving on. We decided to have sandwiches. Not our usual egg sandwiches, which I highly recommend on any day at any meal. We went for lunch meat, cheese, chips and salsa.
I love cheese. I got the above cheese the other day. I can't really describe the taste. It's strong. Very cheesy...But not so strong that you can taste it when you're done. I recommend it if you're looking for a change up to your sandwich routine.
Me: Do you like that Havarti cheese?
Studmuffin: It's okay. A little strong.
Me: Huh...
And, the meal continues. Bookworm eating her sandwich with turkey, cheddar, salsa, corn chips and mayo on whole wheat. Popcorn opted for a pb&j made with Jiff Natural and homemade jelly, thankyouverymuch....I was eating turkey with the Havarti cheese and mayo. I was quite pleased, if a little sad to be out of lettuce and tomato.
Suddenly, Studmuffin got a very surprised look on his face, and he pulled the following OUT OF HIS SANDWICH!!!
The lower wax paper is the portion he had left in the sandwich. I placed it with a normal piece of wax paper that was placed between the slices to keep them from sticking...
Seriously! He ate 2/3 of a piece of wax paper before he realized it was in there! "I wondered why my ham seemed to have such a thick skin on it!"
And, there was much mirth and joviality at our table. I love a good belly laugh.
When was the last time you had a good laugh till you snort bout of hilarity? Please share!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The Festivus Pole
I had some random thoughts circling in my brain. I'm so tired, my thoughts are cracking me up...
Wouldn't it be nice if we could celebrate Festivus and have the "Annual Airing of Grievances?"
---Wouldn't that be a great plan?
Next: My thoughts floated to how tired I am. I worked until after 8 tonight. I was so tired that I walked to my car, unlocked it, opened the door, started to climb in....
AND REALIZED I WAS GETTING INTO THE PASSENGER SEAT!!
Yeah. I'm pretty sure long shifts are safe for patients. Especially when the nurse eats the following items through the day:
1. Apple
2. Banana
Starting out pretty good, eh?
3. Snack size Butterfinger
4. Nonfat pumpkin spice latte' from Starbucks
Starting to fail here...
5. Slice of banana bread with chocolate chips.
I have no idea why I was jittery and feeling a little "punchy."
Excuse me, I just had a random burst of laughter related to getting into my passenger seat.
Studmuffin sent me a text around 7pm wondering what time he should put the frozen pizzas in the oven so we can eat as a family.
I replied: 10pm.
I came home and scarfed down half of a Red Baron Supreme Pizza.
Please excuse me while I have moment of self loathing over poor food choices.
I'm working on memorizing 1 Peter 4:7-10
The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded & self controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.
Now, my brain is working like a leaky sieve...I'm off to bed.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could celebrate Festivus and have the "Annual Airing of Grievances?"
---Wouldn't that be a great plan?
Next: My thoughts floated to how tired I am. I worked until after 8 tonight. I was so tired that I walked to my car, unlocked it, opened the door, started to climb in....
AND REALIZED I WAS GETTING INTO THE PASSENGER SEAT!!
Yeah. I'm pretty sure long shifts are safe for patients. Especially when the nurse eats the following items through the day:
1. Apple
2. Banana
Starting out pretty good, eh?
3. Snack size Butterfinger
4. Nonfat pumpkin spice latte' from Starbucks
Starting to fail here...
5. Slice of banana bread with chocolate chips.
I have no idea why I was jittery and feeling a little "punchy."
Excuse me, I just had a random burst of laughter related to getting into my passenger seat.
Studmuffin sent me a text around 7pm wondering what time he should put the frozen pizzas in the oven so we can eat as a family.
I replied: 10pm.
I came home and scarfed down half of a Red Baron Supreme Pizza.
Please excuse me while I have moment of self loathing over poor food choices.
I'm working on memorizing 1 Peter 4:7-10
The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded & self controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.
Now, my brain is working like a leaky sieve...I'm off to bed.
Chewing on My Size 11 Foot
I went to my niece Sarah's bachelorette party Saturday night.
Because I'm so super cool, and all the youngsters want to hang with me.
My sister (her mother) went too. You gotta love this younger generation...I would have died of an apoplectic fit if someone presented me with a phallus shaped cake in front of my mother... And I'm pretty sure my mother is cringing that I just typed phallus on my blog...
Anyway, Sarah has some very lovely little friends. We all presented her with our lovely "personal" gifts, divvied up the tacky phallus shaped suckers (which I discovered in my purse the next morning as I was getting out a pen to take notes on the sermon. I kid you not, I started blushing, sweating, and had to fight off an attack of the giggles right then and there), then headed to Olive Garden for feasting and more fun.
My sister & I rode together, as this gave us a chance to catch up and kept us from raining on the youngster's parade of giggling and chitter chatter.
However, when we got to the restaurant, and went to be seated, I was disconcerted to realize that Dawn & I were going to be on opposite ends of the table. I immediately started to feel beads of sweat pop out in my armpits...I was going to be forced to entertain these young ladies whom I have just met. Because, you understand that I must entertain them, right? I must engage them in conversation. I must find out about each of their faith backgrounds (Church of Christ, Baptist, Nondenominational), and I must find out their major, where they are from, and what their plans for life in general are...
Because for some unknown reason, this is the roll that I have given myself...Why? I do not know.
Please. Refrain from telling me that I should have shut my yapper and left them to their own devices. That is completely counterproductive to this story.
So, this sweet, lovely young girl is telling me about her life, and her mom who's dating a Muslim, but she is Christian, and how she was the nerdy band kid in high school who learned every single brass instrument, and when she goes home now, her classmates are like "Wow! Look at you! You've really changed."
Isn't it great that we can move away and escape the stereo types we fell into in high school?
So, this sweet girl is telling me all about her high school life, and at some point she shares with me that "I was even a Junior Girls Scout."
I'm sorry, but you are about to learn how shallow I am....
I burst out laughing.
And, that's not all...
Oh, it gets worse.
I said, "Honey, you weren't 'nerdy' because you were in band...You were 'nerdy' because you were a girl scout until you were a junior in high school!" (Gentle Reader, there was not one drop of alcohol involved in this evening for which I can blame my blabber mouth. Not one.)
Then, I was immediately ashamed, and felt terrible. My size 11 shoe was in my mouth, and I was gnawing on my ankle...
But, thankfully she just laughed and said, "No, not a junior in high school. I became a Junior Girl Scout in 6th grade. Then, I dropped out."
And, to that I replied, "Oh. Well, thank goodness. I was just imagining you going to high school in your band uniform one day, then in your girl scout uniform on another day. I was pretty sure you were dooming yourself to be picked on."
Yes. I'm sure that made it all better...
Because I'm so super cool, and all the youngsters want to hang with me.
My sister (her mother) went too. You gotta love this younger generation...I would have died of an apoplectic fit if someone presented me with a phallus shaped cake in front of my mother... And I'm pretty sure my mother is cringing that I just typed phallus on my blog...
Anyway, Sarah has some very lovely little friends. We all presented her with our lovely "personal" gifts, divvied up the tacky phallus shaped suckers (which I discovered in my purse the next morning as I was getting out a pen to take notes on the sermon. I kid you not, I started blushing, sweating, and had to fight off an attack of the giggles right then and there), then headed to Olive Garden for feasting and more fun.
My sister & I rode together, as this gave us a chance to catch up and kept us from raining on the youngster's parade of giggling and chitter chatter.
However, when we got to the restaurant, and went to be seated, I was disconcerted to realize that Dawn & I were going to be on opposite ends of the table. I immediately started to feel beads of sweat pop out in my armpits...I was going to be forced to entertain these young ladies whom I have just met. Because, you understand that I must entertain them, right? I must engage them in conversation. I must find out about each of their faith backgrounds (Church of Christ, Baptist, Nondenominational), and I must find out their major, where they are from, and what their plans for life in general are...
Because for some unknown reason, this is the roll that I have given myself...Why? I do not know.
Please. Refrain from telling me that I should have shut my yapper and left them to their own devices. That is completely counterproductive to this story.
So, this sweet, lovely young girl is telling me about her life, and her mom who's dating a Muslim, but she is Christian, and how she was the nerdy band kid in high school who learned every single brass instrument, and when she goes home now, her classmates are like "Wow! Look at you! You've really changed."
Isn't it great that we can move away and escape the stereo types we fell into in high school?
So, this sweet girl is telling me all about her high school life, and at some point she shares with me that "I was even a Junior Girls Scout."
I'm sorry, but you are about to learn how shallow I am....
I burst out laughing.
And, that's not all...
Oh, it gets worse.
I said, "Honey, you weren't 'nerdy' because you were in band...You were 'nerdy' because you were a girl scout until you were a junior in high school!" (Gentle Reader, there was not one drop of alcohol involved in this evening for which I can blame my blabber mouth. Not one.)
Then, I was immediately ashamed, and felt terrible. My size 11 shoe was in my mouth, and I was gnawing on my ankle...
But, thankfully she just laughed and said, "No, not a junior in high school. I became a Junior Girl Scout in 6th grade. Then, I dropped out."
And, to that I replied, "Oh. Well, thank goodness. I was just imagining you going to high school in your band uniform one day, then in your girl scout uniform on another day. I was pretty sure you were dooming yourself to be picked on."
Yes. I'm sure that made it all better...
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Happy Birthday Paula
Hey! It's my sister Paula's birthday!
She is having her birthday on October 10th of 2010! How neat-o is that?
She is having her birthday on October 10th of 2010! How neat-o is that?
Smart.
Loyal.
Generous.
A great mom.
Oh, and just to give her a little plug here, she's also an author!!!
A soon to be published one!
She has a book titled "The Christmas Potato" coming out this Christmas. You simply must buy it! You must! It is a wonderful story....
Loyal.
Generous.
A great mom.
Oh, and just to give her a little plug here, she's also an author!!!
A soon to be published one!
She has a book titled "The Christmas Potato" coming out this Christmas. You simply must buy it! You must! It is a wonderful story....
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Shocking Quote of the Day
Setting: Rival town at a fifties style diner. It was a Friday night. Translation: Football night in small town Oklahoma!
Bookworm: Mom! I accidentally wore my "N" shirt tonight!
Me: Don't worry about it. Nobody cares.
Bookworm: Mooooom! That girl over their is wearing a lions shirt! And I'm wearing my "N" shirt!
Me: What, are you afraid you're about to have a rumble right here in the diner?
Bookworm: Naaah...I just want to throw her on the rocks and make her bleed.
WHAT!?!? You could have picked our chins up off the floor. Then we died laughing.
I have no idea where she gets her violent tendencies from...I'm blaming her dad's side of the family.
Bookworm: Mom! I accidentally wore my "N" shirt tonight!
Me: Don't worry about it. Nobody cares.
Bookworm: Mooooom! That girl over their is wearing a lions shirt! And I'm wearing my "N" shirt!
Me: What, are you afraid you're about to have a rumble right here in the diner?
Bookworm: Naaah...I just want to throw her on the rocks and make her bleed.
WHAT!?!? You could have picked our chins up off the floor. Then we died laughing.
I have no idea where she gets her violent tendencies from...I'm blaming her dad's side of the family.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Cycle Has Begun
My mom says that every time we get a house just the way we want it, we move.
In our previous homes, we've had to replace the stove. Then the dishwasher. Then, when we had money saved up, we'd rip out the vinyl floors and put in ceramic tile. Or, remodel the master bath...
My oven is on the fritz. I made cookies a few weeks ago, and I had a hard time not burning them. They would cook in less than five minutes, with the temperature at 300F.
Last Saturday I cooked a cheesecake for Studmuffin's birthday. I cooked it as I always have...
The darn thing wasn't done in the middle.
Apparently my thermostat is messed up...Also, the clock and timer on it keeps over 2 minutes for every one minute of real time.
Studmuffin has been wanting a new stove for a while now. Our current one is just so "plain." He also wants a new dishwasher, refrigerator, and washing machine...
I want a new fence and a closed, aerated septic system.
Can you say "roll reversal?"
Then, I will end up putting in tile floors somewhere. (Although my plan in my head is for laminate or wood.)
And, our house will be beautiful.
Then, Studmuffin will come home and inform me we are moving...
And the cycle will be complete for another few years.
In our previous homes, we've had to replace the stove. Then the dishwasher. Then, when we had money saved up, we'd rip out the vinyl floors and put in ceramic tile. Or, remodel the master bath...
My oven is on the fritz. I made cookies a few weeks ago, and I had a hard time not burning them. They would cook in less than five minutes, with the temperature at 300F.
The darn thing wasn't done in the middle.
Apparently my thermostat is messed up...Also, the clock and timer on it keeps over 2 minutes for every one minute of real time.
Studmuffin has been wanting a new stove for a while now. Our current one is just so "plain." He also wants a new dishwasher, refrigerator, and washing machine...
I want a new fence and a closed, aerated septic system.
Can you say "roll reversal?"
So. This week I will look at new stoves. Then, if history repeats itself, we will need a new dishwasher, as this one will quit within a month or so of the new stove...This is the model I'm currently thinking (read here: drooling) about. Although the price is making me cringe.
Then, I will end up putting in tile floors somewhere. (Although my plan in my head is for laminate or wood.)
And, our house will be beautiful.
Then, Studmuffin will come home and inform me we are moving...
And the cycle will be complete for another few years.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Quote(s) of the Day
Bookworm: Umm, Mommy? I'm reading in my Bible about King David, and it says that David never let his men lay with women before going into battle so they would not be unclean and God would give them victory. Why would that make them unclean?
Don't you just envy my scripture discussions with my children? Oh, and yeah, that question was presented in front of my dad!
The very same man who never even let us watch Three's Company....
Yikes.
Popcorn after helping her daddy with the super cool pop up camper: Hi mommy! I've been having fun with Daddy. Y'know, I used to think you guys were really boring and all I wanted to do was play toys. But you guys are actually fun!
Was there ever any doubt in your mind that we would be fun, Gentle Reader?
Don't you just envy my scripture discussions with my children? Oh, and yeah, that question was presented in front of my dad!
The very same man who never even let us watch Three's Company....
Yikes.
Popcorn after helping her daddy with the super cool pop up camper: Hi mommy! I've been having fun with Daddy. Y'know, I used to think you guys were really boring and all I wanted to do was play toys. But you guys are actually fun!
Was there ever any doubt in your mind that we would be fun, Gentle Reader?
Monday, October 4, 2010
Time Management: The Final Installment
In Review:
So far you've learned that my tips for time management are as follows:
1. Spread housework out over several days.
2. Make your kids do the stuff you don't want to do.
3. Don't drink anything, thus saving time with consuming beverages, and potty breaks.
4. Hire a nanny.
5. Run around screaming at your family to work harder, faster, and stop dilly-dallying....
So, I guess not all of these tips are realistic, and some of them are certainly not helpful. My youngest has this familiar lament every single time we clean house: Don't you wish it was like Mary Poppins and all you had to do was snap and it cleaned itself up?
Well, since I don't want you to run around screaming at your family, and much as I might wish, I really don't foresee Mary Poppins dropping, how about we see what the real experts have to say?
We will begin today's tips with my sister, Dawn. She seemed to be disturbed that I was rude in my post in an effort to get more comments. To that, all I can say is: Whatever works!
"So, since you're going to be rude that I went ONE day without reading your blog......my other tip is to keep all the lights in the house dim so that you can't see the dust. And don't rearrange tables or shelves--the marks give your lack of dusting abilities away. AND inform everyone that it is the girls bathroom to clean--it absolves you of all responsibility for it!"
I love this advice. Especially since it combos one of my own current practices. All dusting is the girls responsibility. If it isn't done well, then I have no accountability for that. Now, I haven't made them start cleaning their bathroom. I can see me adding that to their list in the near future, however. Especially since Dawn does it. Hey, if it's good enough for my sister, it's good enough for me!
Next, we will visit Megan. Megan has this piece of advice to offer:
"Plan chores out and decide what can "take care of itself" while you are doing something else. Although, I usually just sit down and watch TV while the laundry is going…bad habit!"
I used to try and claim that I did 6 loads of laundry, so I got a lot accomplished. However, we see here that dear Megan has outed me. Laundry does not require babysitting and each load will take a maximum of 10 minutes to fold...Darn her logic. Thanks for debunking my delusions Megan. Thanks. A. Lot...
Next we will visit the vastly entertaining Taylor. Taylor obviously has my fondness for lists.
"I make a list of everything that is bothering me. Like if I see that the tub needs to be scrubbed and the kitchen floor mopped, as well as all the regular pickup, I get overwhelmed. But when I write down what is really bothering me, what really needs to get done, and I do it, things look much better! Also, the girls like to pick a thing or two to do on the list to help. And today, they scrubbed the tub. I have yet to check it. But for now, in my dreams, I shall imagine it clean."
Taylor obviously has my sister's sense of wisdom to delegate certain chores to children. Good for her. So many of you are smart to include the whole family in the housework responsibilities! I decided to take that advice and run with it Saturday morning...
I made a list. I even divvied up chores so there would be no complaining of one doing more work than the other...
The plan worked well, until their daddy needed help with this:
Then, I fear that all thoughts of the chore list inside vanished into the land of Ne'erDoChores...
Which leads me to this commentators bit of advice:
"Usually around here I assign chores and they do a horrible job. Then a month later I get really mad and yell at everyone. And they do a better job. This cycle has been repeating for 17 years."
Obviously, Freckled Hen & I are kindred souls.
So that's it! That's the extent of wisdom I have to share with you! Now, if any of you have a piece of advice that you feel I simply must share with the blogosphere, please don't hesitate to add your thoughts to the comments section!
Oh, and for some extra entertainment, please, click on the above links and go check out the contributors blogs! It's always fun to have glimpse into someone else's life!
So far you've learned that my tips for time management are as follows:
1. Spread housework out over several days.
2. Make your kids do the stuff you don't want to do.
3. Don't drink anything, thus saving time with consuming beverages, and potty breaks.
4. Hire a nanny.
5. Run around screaming at your family to work harder, faster, and stop dilly-dallying....
So, I guess not all of these tips are realistic, and some of them are certainly not helpful. My youngest has this familiar lament every single time we clean house: Don't you wish it was like Mary Poppins and all you had to do was snap and it cleaned itself up?
Well, since I don't want you to run around screaming at your family, and much as I might wish, I really don't foresee Mary Poppins dropping, how about we see what the real experts have to say?
We will begin today's tips with my sister, Dawn. She seemed to be disturbed that I was rude in my post in an effort to get more comments. To that, all I can say is: Whatever works!
"So, since you're going to be rude that I went ONE day without reading your blog......my other tip is to keep all the lights in the house dim so that you can't see the dust. And don't rearrange tables or shelves--the marks give your lack of dusting abilities away. AND inform everyone that it is the girls bathroom to clean--it absolves you of all responsibility for it!"
I love this advice. Especially since it combos one of my own current practices. All dusting is the girls responsibility. If it isn't done well, then I have no accountability for that. Now, I haven't made them start cleaning their bathroom. I can see me adding that to their list in the near future, however. Especially since Dawn does it. Hey, if it's good enough for my sister, it's good enough for me!
Next, we will visit Megan. Megan has this piece of advice to offer:
"Plan chores out and decide what can "take care of itself" while you are doing something else. Although, I usually just sit down and watch TV while the laundry is going…bad habit!"
I used to try and claim that I did 6 loads of laundry, so I got a lot accomplished. However, we see here that dear Megan has outed me. Laundry does not require babysitting and each load will take a maximum of 10 minutes to fold...Darn her logic. Thanks for debunking my delusions Megan. Thanks. A. Lot...
Next we will visit the vastly entertaining Taylor. Taylor obviously has my fondness for lists.
"I make a list of everything that is bothering me. Like if I see that the tub needs to be scrubbed and the kitchen floor mopped, as well as all the regular pickup, I get overwhelmed. But when I write down what is really bothering me, what really needs to get done, and I do it, things look much better! Also, the girls like to pick a thing or two to do on the list to help. And today, they scrubbed the tub. I have yet to check it. But for now, in my dreams, I shall imagine it clean."
Taylor obviously has my sister's sense of wisdom to delegate certain chores to children. Good for her. So many of you are smart to include the whole family in the housework responsibilities! I decided to take that advice and run with it Saturday morning...
I made a list. I even divvied up chores so there would be no complaining of one doing more work than the other...
The plan worked well, until their daddy needed help with this:
Then, I fear that all thoughts of the chore list inside vanished into the land of Ne'erDoChores...
Which leads me to this commentators bit of advice:
"Usually around here I assign chores and they do a horrible job. Then a month later I get really mad and yell at everyone. And they do a better job. This cycle has been repeating for 17 years."
Obviously, Freckled Hen & I are kindred souls.
So that's it! That's the extent of wisdom I have to share with you! Now, if any of you have a piece of advice that you feel I simply must share with the blogosphere, please don't hesitate to add your thoughts to the comments section!
Oh, and for some extra entertainment, please, click on the above links and go check out the contributors blogs! It's always fun to have glimpse into someone else's life!
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Funny Apples and Your Tips
I had bunco here Tuesday night. Bookworm took a bag of diced apples out of the fridge for her lunch the next day.
While those two statements may seem unrelated, they totally are.
Bookworm took out her apples, pulled a bite sized piece out of her bag, and had a strange discovery. The apples smelled very strong, were soft, and, and, slimy?...Her apples were actually diced smoked gouda cheese!
Oh, Gentle Reader, she was quite disappointed. Quite.
Aaaannnd then she and her lunch buddy Britni giggled like 5th grade girls do, and continued to share their lunches like they do every day...Minus the "apples" of course.
Now, on to the time management tips. I know the suspense has been keeping you all on pins and needles.
We will begin with a chat with Dawn. Remember Dawn? She's my sister who inspired me to blog with her post about wetting her sleeping bag on a family camping trip...Go on over and visit her! She's just full of interesting information!
"So--my best tip is to have a husband that doesn't work on Friday--and is a bit of a neat freak. That means he will do the vacuuming and the majority of the laundry! Yay Me!"
Yay you indeed, Dawn. Yay you, indeed.
And, please, no bitterness or resentment towards the girl who's husband cleans her house. He is in the ministry, so you can bet he works every. single. Sunday.
So, shall we discuss the convenience of such an arrangement? I guess it's probably unnecessary as I think it's pretty clear why it's such a genius set up...
Just so we're clear: So far my family has suggested a nanny to solve your time management problems, or have a husband do the housework on Friday while you are at work.
I'm sure you will find each of these tips very helpful and life changing.
Since all of my suggestions have been a family affair, we'll just keep that theme rolling. My Aunt C decided to chime in and share her advice. Guess what? Aunt C does not have a blog, but she did email me a super great picture of the two of us together!
Aren't we just too cute? If a little grainy! I did a quick copy image location, and it came across tiny, so I enlarged it...
Anyhoo, on with her super inspired words of wisdom:
"Make a list of things we needed to get done for kids/hubby."
Great advice Aunt C! Perhaps I somehow subliminally absorbed this as a child when I was visiting. Not that I ever participated in any cleaning or chores at your house. I only remember running in and out and eating and going swimming and basically just having fun. I guess you saved the chores for the immediate family...
Here's how I've implemented her words of wisdom: I made a list of everything to be done before bunco. I then ran around screaming like a drill sergeant until every single item was checked off.
Gentle Reader, I simply must confess that while I undoubtedly absorbed her list making skills subliminally, that is all I can place at her doorstep. Aunt C would never run around screaming like a drill sergeant. I remember very clearly thinking she never raised her voice or lost her temper when I was a kid. Even then I found it simply amazing.
Now, I find that impression nothing short of miraculous.
Hey! If you just stumbled into our time management series, please leave your best time management tips in the comments section!
While those two statements may seem unrelated, they totally are.
Bookworm took out her apples, pulled a bite sized piece out of her bag, and had a strange discovery. The apples smelled very strong, were soft, and, and, slimy?...Her apples were actually diced smoked gouda cheese!
Oh, Gentle Reader, she was quite disappointed. Quite.
Aaaannnd then she and her lunch buddy Britni giggled like 5th grade girls do, and continued to share their lunches like they do every day...Minus the "apples" of course.
Now, on to the time management tips. I know the suspense has been keeping you all on pins and needles.
We will begin with a chat with Dawn. Remember Dawn? She's my sister who inspired me to blog with her post about wetting her sleeping bag on a family camping trip...Go on over and visit her! She's just full of interesting information!
"So--my best tip is to have a husband that doesn't work on Friday--and is a bit of a neat freak. That means he will do the vacuuming and the majority of the laundry! Yay Me!"
Yay you indeed, Dawn. Yay you, indeed.
And, please, no bitterness or resentment towards the girl who's husband cleans her house. He is in the ministry, so you can bet he works every. single. Sunday.
So, shall we discuss the convenience of such an arrangement? I guess it's probably unnecessary as I think it's pretty clear why it's such a genius set up...
Just so we're clear: So far my family has suggested a nanny to solve your time management problems, or have a husband do the housework on Friday while you are at work.
I'm sure you will find each of these tips very helpful and life changing.
Since all of my suggestions have been a family affair, we'll just keep that theme rolling. My Aunt C decided to chime in and share her advice. Guess what? Aunt C does not have a blog, but she did email me a super great picture of the two of us together!
Aren't we just too cute? If a little grainy! I did a quick copy image location, and it came across tiny, so I enlarged it...
Anyhoo, on with her super inspired words of wisdom:
"Make a list of things we needed to get done for kids/hubby."
Great advice Aunt C! Perhaps I somehow subliminally absorbed this as a child when I was visiting. Not that I ever participated in any cleaning or chores at your house. I only remember running in and out and eating and going swimming and basically just having fun. I guess you saved the chores for the immediate family...
Here's how I've implemented her words of wisdom: I made a list of everything to be done before bunco. I then ran around screaming like a drill sergeant until every single item was checked off.
Gentle Reader, I simply must confess that while I undoubtedly absorbed her list making skills subliminally, that is all I can place at her doorstep. Aunt C would never run around screaming like a drill sergeant. I remember very clearly thinking she never raised her voice or lost her temper when I was a kid. Even then I found it simply amazing.
Now, I find that impression nothing short of miraculous.
Hey! If you just stumbled into our time management series, please leave your best time management tips in the comments section!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Why I'm Thirsty
Had a big day at work...
It gave me some great time management skills.
In order to work in a more timely fashion, I recommend two cups of coffee in the morning. Work through lunch, but realize that your brain may need some food. I recommend standing in the break room and scarfing down a ham sandwich at 1:30. This should be no problem if you thought ahead and ate a bowl of Grape Nuts for breakfast at 6am!
At 2:30, your day will be finally under control, since you were such a clever time manager. Reward yourself with a cup of coffee while you clean up paperwork and get patient bays ready for Monday morning.
On your way home at 3pm (apparently, my time management skills were still lacking; I was supposed to get off at 2), you will realize you are very thirsty...
On reflection, I realized the only thing I'd drank all day was a glass of milk at breakfast and 3 cups of coffee.
In order to rapidly rehydrate myself, I am currently chugging down a Dr. Pepper made with Imperial Pure Cain Sugar...After all, I'm pretty sure that makes it healthy. Plus, I'm pretty sure that Dr Pepper is purported to be made with prunes, so that gives me a serving of fruit for the day!
Win!
Oh, and the lack of fluids provided a lack of bathroom breaks! Which I didn't have time for anyway!
Win!
And, in hindsight, this post probably has too many commas, and I switch back and forth from first to third person...
Oh, and thanks for all the time management tips. I will be posting more of your tips in the days to come!
It gave me some great time management skills.
In order to work in a more timely fashion, I recommend two cups of coffee in the morning. Work through lunch, but realize that your brain may need some food. I recommend standing in the break room and scarfing down a ham sandwich at 1:30. This should be no problem if you thought ahead and ate a bowl of Grape Nuts for breakfast at 6am!
At 2:30, your day will be finally under control, since you were such a clever time manager. Reward yourself with a cup of coffee while you clean up paperwork and get patient bays ready for Monday morning.
On your way home at 3pm (apparently, my time management skills were still lacking; I was supposed to get off at 2), you will realize you are very thirsty...
On reflection, I realized the only thing I'd drank all day was a glass of milk at breakfast and 3 cups of coffee.
In order to rapidly rehydrate myself, I am currently chugging down a Dr. Pepper made with Imperial Pure Cain Sugar...After all, I'm pretty sure that makes it healthy. Plus, I'm pretty sure that Dr Pepper is purported to be made with prunes, so that gives me a serving of fruit for the day!
Win!
Oh, and the lack of fluids provided a lack of bathroom breaks! Which I didn't have time for anyway!
Win!
And, in hindsight, this post probably has too many commas, and I switch back and forth from first to third person...
Oh, and thanks for all the time management tips. I will be posting more of your tips in the days to come!
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